The author of this article is Lulu.

F: In the bud.

Early spring and February, what a freehand season, I was dumped by Fang Ling. Moreover, this girl found the second one with lightning speed, an international relations major boy who looks like a homosexual (not that I hacked him, this guy is really gay). Fang Ling, who is studying economics, and his team have just started a class: Political Economy (also known as: Getting Rich and Larded). A person can only have a solo concert quietly and sing only one song back and forth: I, the person you don't love, am still single …

I thought I didn't love Fang Ling. Fang Ling is a beautiful woman. It's no problem to throw her in the "new red chamber" for a beauty contest and be selected into the official list of twelve women in Jinling. For a very excellent key university, her beauty is enough to make a school boy want to move. I beat her to it and got Fang Ling. At first, I also felt that my life was so complete. But it didn't take long to find that beautiful women have a huge shortcoming: boredom. Probably the vast majority of beautiful women are like this, a little "flattering", not smart, lacking in vitality, and not appealing. They are like wax figures who have eaten cold fragrant pills, and they can't tell a quality joke all their lives, and they can really produce a bird in their mouths. When I tell jokes, either I smile gracefully and generously before I get to the point, or she blinks gracefully and brilliantly after the baggage is shaken. In a word, Fang Ling is a "lovable" but not "lovable" girl. I feel that my spiritual world is unequal to hers. I can't love her.

Don't rush to clap bricks, I admit that I am also very animal, and I am also greedy for beauty. But there is such a thing as spirit in my skin. I don't feel superior because I am mentally richer than my age, but I deeply regret that we can't make a sound. I really can't pretend to love Fang Ling, and then deceive myself and live my whole life. Therefore, I am not good enough for her, and I am always at arm's length. After being greeted by me for more than a year, she finally chose to leave me and follow the gay man.

I really thought I didn't love Fang Ling. However, when I really lost her, I was really, really miserable. Yes, she is a little boring, but she is a living life after all; And she is good-looking, and has looked at me tenderly with beautiful eyes countless times. She is not perfect, but she is beautiful. And I have completely lost this beauty. A writer said that love is one of the most common means of self-abuse. This sentence is a bit interesting. But it is more accurate to call "love" "lovelorn". After being lovelorn, I don't eat, drink a lot, stay up late, freeze myself into a bad cold, deliberately lose my temper with others and find someone to fight, offend everyone around me and create a closed environment, which makes me more prone to self-abuse. I'm so sad. I really long for an angel or death to take me away. Then my epitaph should be: This man never loved heartily, but abused himself heartily.

At three o'clock in the morning, I went to the BBS "Time flies like water" version to vent, and even brushed dozens of sentences "I am abnormal".

I thought I could still run wild so late, but the moderator was afraid of heights and rushed up to seal my ID and said, Did you pass the IBT? I am not qualified to say "I am not normal" if I have not passed the exam.

IBT, online test, the abbreviation of the new TOEFL computer test. IBT, I'm sick. Absolutely. I smiled.

After thinking for a moment, Cudgel decided to talk about IBT first!

2

Do it. My English foundation is good, but my vocabulary is too small. First of all, I will find a TOEFL word to recite. Because the IBT exam is in Shitai BT, and because my brain is distracted from time to time to play Fang Ling's smiling MV, it is useless for me to recite words. I still don't know the words I didn't know before.

I ran to the BBS "English learning" page to learn classics, and suddenly found that acrophobia is also the moderator of English learning. -I also painfully found that I can't remember what acrophobia means. After investigation, it means "acrophobia". I looked through the posts of terrorism moderators. Oh, my God, there are at least hundreds of them, all of which are very long, professional and valuable. I immediately felt a sense of admiration for him.

I posted for advice on acrophobia: moderators, what is the best way to recite words? The younger generation is willing to pay a lot of money to thank!

I'm afraid the moderator will appear again soon, seal my id and say in English: English learning edition doesn't speak English, this letter will be sealed! Learn to try to be lazy and find shortcuts, this letter! Trying to bribe the moderator, this letter!

Wow, this can also be blocked. You think you are a city manager? -I felt wronged, so I restarted my computer for IP, re-registered my vest, and returned to the English learning version to curse the fear moderator.

I'm afraid the moderator is not in a hurry or annoyed. As soon as I posted, he deleted the post and sealed my ID and IP. Because of my persistent attacks, he was forced to work very hard.

He posted a poem I wrote on the English learning version of "Time flies like water" and offered a reward for translation. That's my drunken work. It's about lovelorn. That's called an acid! I dare not say anything for fear that others will associate this poem with me. Please listen to my heartfelt words: students, please forget the transformation after lovelorn, but don't leave any written evidence!

I was under the control of the fear host. How fucking depressing!

But cudgel won't get tired of it. I've been plotting revenge. Finally let me seize the opportunity. The "second-hand market" version also saw the figure of acrophobia, but this time he was not a moderator, but a grassroots who practiced online stalls. I made a deal with him with my vest, and made an appointment to meet at the gate of Wu Xue canteen at noon the next day. -Hum, wait, I hit you on the head with a brick!

The next day, the exciting moment came. I saw a man in a blue tracksuit with a thick TOEFL white paper in his hand-that's you. I rushed up and grabbed his collar to show my strength, but suddenly I froze: it was "she" rather than "he" who was someone I knew.

Her name is Xu Huanhuan, a colleague of mine who stayed in the Environmental Protection Association for some time, and a classmate who gave up my English double-degree class halfway. She's a senior graduate student, and she's 28 before she's 30. Rough skin, short hair, used to wear neutral style clothes. I noticed that in summer, she once wore an armband like One Piece Luffy. I'm really tired of these older women who take the kawaii route. Later, however, my impression of her improved. Once, I dragged Fang Ling to skip class together, and then she inexplicably borrowed notes from Xu Huanhuan. Xu Huanhuan's notes are so beautiful that I am dumbfounded: the handwriting is beautiful, the spacing is appropriate, and even the scratches caused by clerical errors are beautiful. Print them out and publish them directly! This person must study very hard, and his heart is extremely quiet and self-disciplined. From this, I was deeply impressed by Xu Huanhuan. But in my eyes, there are only two kinds of girls: good-looking and bad-looking. Xu Huanhuan is undoubtedly classified as the latter category by me. I'm too lazy to look at her and study her more.

This is the first time I have looked at her so closely, and my hand is still on her collar. She has too many moles on her face and heroic eyebrows ... but now I have no mind to study her. I understand that she already knew my true identity hidden behind the ID, and she also had a panoramic view of my abnormal condition after my lovelorn love. And she also understands that I buy books on the pretence, but I want to hit people and understand everything I know.

I can't handle women. Besides, she is an insider. I don't know which sharp brother said: what really makes people feel humiliated is not failure, but failure being exhibited. I can only turn around and leave as soon as possible. -What a pity! Grandpa, please take my life away quickly!

For dinner, I had an iron plate beef fillet fried rice and sauce elbow, which was delicious.

But then, depression and emptiness struck again. Lovelorn is like this, and the mood keeps repeating. After a little struggle, I still opened the English learning version of BBS. The fear moderator has just posted a new post that says "12 constellation in my eyes" in English. Oh, it is really entertaining.

The first one is Gemini. Cudgel is Gemini. I always think that the constellations are nonsense, so I don't read the posts carefully, but jump to see them. But my eyes stopped when I jumped to the last paragraph. Finally, the fear moderator came to such a PS:

This article is specially dedicated to a Gemini friend who has been in trouble recently. I saw you sing the Beatles' Yellow Submarine while playing the guitar. You were radiant at that time. But I'm sorry to see the loss of love put you to shame. There is nothing in this world except love and death. The Gemini among saints is the Pope. How can His Holiness feel sorry for a little lovelorn? Everything outside is unreliable, and your real wealth can only be your brave and strong heart. You know, there is another soul lurking in your heart. The twin brother of your soul will always accompany you through all the difficulties. You should be better than anyone. Please forgive my unintentional injury, if it exists. Please believe my kindness to you. Most importantly, please continue to be your radiant Pope.

Perhaps it is because the English rhetoric of the fear moderator is too brilliant. Maybe it's because the papal title is too shiny. Maybe it's because I've been closed for so long that few people care about me. Anyway, this dedication actually touched me a little. I was very moved until later.

I suddenly want to study the fear of heights of moderators. Click on her profile and you can see that she is also a Gemini. I can't help laughing. For the first time, I am proud of being a Gemini. Because I found myself with a great ally.

I want to say thank you to the fear moderator, but I think it's very old-fashioned. Finally, I chose to play a joke on her. I replied to her post and said:

Honey, do you love me?

I am afraid that the moderator will reply to me in English immediately: Dear, if you have a good life in IBT, I will love you. But now your English is not authentic, and you are suspected of flirting with the moderator. I decided to ban you immediately!

It's blocked again! But I am not angry at all, but very happy. Our fear moderator is really interesting! Hahaha!

Instead of playing the fear moderator, I turned off the computer and took out the guitar I hadn't touched for a long time, humming while playing. When we live a comfortable life/each of us has what we need/blue sky and green ocean/in our yellow submarine. The Beatles is really a great band, such as Spring Breeze Man and Spring Rain Man. My heart lake is full of joy in silence.

At that time, I didn't fall in love, nor did I fall in love. A guitar can make me self-sufficient, as if I really live in that carefree yellow submarine. At that time, I was complete, or I could really be called a glorious person. How did I live up to my expectations and become a piece of shit? Good love can make people work miracles, and bad love can only make people sink.

Well, admit it: you just had a little relationship. Sick people are enough. Now it's time to stop BT and win IBT first. Remember, the only reliable thing is yourself. You must be brave.

I began to go all out to prepare for IBT.

Many things happen. I got good grades in the IBT exam.

I followed the crowd and posted a newspaper post in the English learning edition.

I'm afraid the moderator will soon top my post: well done! Popper, I love you! No matter what you do in the edition today, I won't forbid you!

Hahahaha, Zanjia is very happy!

In the hard English study, I gradually forgot the pain of lovelorn, and finally I can go out with a smile. Looking back at this moment, I feel worthless. Why torture yourself and destroy yourself for so long? God may really exist and gave me a great savior.

I still didn't thank the stationmaster this time. I don't like the way my mother-in-law makes her cry.

After that, every time I open BBS, I will habitually pay attention to whether acrophobia has sent any new posts and see what she has to say. Silent attention, silent appreciation, and silent drinking are my styles. I don't think stubborn fear hosts will object to my method, will they?

three

I thought that Xu Huanhuan and I would stop at a faint friendship between gentlemen, but God has arranged a new intersection for us.

The school hospital of our school is nicknamed "Little Western Paradise" by the students. When the patient goes in, his life hangs by a thread, and there is a great chance that he will be sent directly to the Western Heaven to see the Buddha. I never go to the school hospital except for routine physical examination. However, during the final exam of junior year, my terrible toothache forced me to visit Xiaoxitian and try my best.

As soon as I walked out of the darkroom after filming the dental film, I heard a howl like killing a pig, which scared me almost to fall down. Then I heard a heartbreaking cry. I followed the sound and found a doctor with a "guy" standing in front of the treatment chair 1 in the second ward. In the winter, he was sweating profusely and looked at the patient blankly. The patient lying on the chair is called Xu Huanhuan, whose facial features are distorted by crying and his chin is covered with blood. She is trying to interpret words such as "crying", "bereavement" and "life is worse than death" with the level of Oscar winner.

She cried so much that I completely forgot to laugh at her. Unconsciously, I stepped forward and asked with concern, "What's wrong with you?"

Xu Huanhuan still cried regardless. A 30-year-old man cried like a pupil.

The doctor quickly said, "Nothing, nothing. It's just that the anesthetic is not in place and it hurts her ... classmate, you advise her not to cry and sew the wound of tooth extraction. "

I won't coax girls the most, and I have to watch Xu Huanhuan cry at a loss. There were more and more people watching, but she cried regardless.

This is, the electronic clock in the ward began to tell the time: 3 pm Beijing time.

Xu Huanhuan suddenly stopped crying, and instantly the five senses took their positions. She said to the doctor calmly and coldly, "Take a stitch." Come on. "

Wow, women are so fickle!

A few minutes later, Xu Huanhuan bit the hemostatic gauze, grabbed the schoolbag and ran out of the ward. Soon she hurried back and said to me, "What's the matter? Nothing, come with me. "

She said imperative sentences, but the movements in her hands really straightened me out.

It turns out that Xu Huanhuan works part-time in a company that specializes in market research for customers. This time, her task is to investigate a healthy eye mask to eliminate fatigue, which is aimed at primary and secondary school students under 18 years old.

"What? Let me pretend to be a high school student? Too ridiculous? " I cried.

"You are very delicate, absolutely pretend to come on! It would be nice to get sixty dollars after the performance. I just hate that I'm too old to pretend, or I'll earn sixty dollars myself. Come on, come on, cut the crap! Start! " Xu Huanhuan has pointed the camera at me.

"Students, please talk about the feelings of senior three." She asked seriously.

A fickle woman can change her state quickly. Ha ha. Ok. Then let's play. I held back my smile, lowered my face, and said gloomily, "I sit in the classroom every day and feel like I'm in prison." Pigeons fly freely outside the window; And I can only look at them enviously through the cage ... "

It's finally over. As soon as the camera closes. Xu Huanhuan began to cover his stomach and burst into laughter. Her smile was as earth-shattering as her cry, and she worked hard and devoted herself to it. When crying and laughing, her people look younger and more girly. It can even be said that her smile is brilliant and beautiful. I laughed with her, laughing and laughing louder and louder, and I laughed like her.

Laughing enough, she said, "Thank you for your help! Ok, I'll give you the money right away. "

"No, this is a piece of cake. What are the rewards? " I said.

"Of course you have to pay your labor income!" With that, she put $60 into my hand.

A train ticket fell out of her purse. I bent down to pick up the ticket, whether it's Xining ticket or standing ticket. I handed the ticket and asked, "Are you from Qinghai?"

She shook her head and said, "No, I went to Qinghai to send donations to a primary school in gangcha county."

I pulled the ticket back to my eyes, looked at it carefully and shouted, "What? Going to Qinghai on the 29th of the lunar calendar? Then you won't go home for the New Year? "

"I'm cosmopolitan, I make friends, and I can spend the New Year anywhere. Last summer vacation, I promised the teachers and classmates of that primary school to visit them again during the Spring Festival in recent years. " She said.

"Your parents don't mind if you don't go home for the New Year?" I asked doubtfully.

"I am an orphan and have no parents."