3. oh, my god! My clothes are thin again.

2. If you don't sleep in class, you will get drunk on the wine table ~

1. The only difference between me and Superman is that I have underwear on.

I am not a casual person, but I am not a casual person.

3. I am in Jianghu, but there is no legend about me in Jianghu ...

4. Take other people's road and let others have no way out.

I heard that women are like clothes and brothers are like brothers. In retrospect, I actually streaked in too many cooks 19 years!

6. I would rather believe in ghosts than men's broken mouths!

1. When the water is clear, there is no fish, and when people are mean, they are invincible.

2. The one riding a white horse is not necessarily a prince, he may be a Tang priest; It's not necessarily an angel with wings-mom says it's a bird man.

3. Time is the same as cleavage. There is still room for a squeeze.

You can't accommodate two tigers in one mountain unless there is a male and a female.

5. Never be careless about animals that still die after bleeding for a week ...

6. I, a college student's life goal: peasant woman, mountain spring, and a little field.

7. Women remember: Be sure to eat, have fun, sleep and drink well. Once exhausted, other women spend our money, live in our room, sleep with our husbands, pick up our boyfriends and beat our babies.

1. In spring, I buried myself in the land at the entrance of the village, and in autumn I harvested many handsome guys. Then I changed the name of the village to "handsome boy village", and I became the village head as I wished.

One day, I dreamed that I had spent all my money. When I woke up, my pocket was really empty ...

I have achieved great success in losing weight. Look, my three chins are sharp!

The trouble with chocolate is that if you eat it, it will be gone.

Don't wait until everyone says you are ugly to find out that you are really ugly.

6. If my friends can sell them for five dollars each, I can make a small fortune.

7. It's not terrible to have a big belly. What's terrible is that it's big and unexpected.

8. The biggest advantage of blind date is that if there are problems in marriage in the future, you can put the blame on the matchmaker.

9. Women show their generosity first, and men dare not be stingy.

10. People are born in bed, die in bed, and want to live and die, but also in bed.

1. Wizard, please tell the princess that I'm still on my way, and there are still snow-capped mountains, rivers, dragons and beautiful women ... Tell her to continue to sleep!

My lover is a stunning beauty, and one day she will ride a fire-breathing dinosaur to marry me. However, at the end of the story, I only saw her mount, but I didn't see its owner.

1. If you don't skin a tree, you will die; People are shameless and invincible in the world.

2. Do nothing without care, and do everything without care.

The real meaning of the iron rice bowl is not to have food in one place, but to have food everywhere all my life.

4. SAO belongs to SAO, SAO has SAO chastity; Cheap is cheap, and cheap has cheap dignity.

If eating more fish can make people smart, then I must have eaten at least one pair of whales.

6. Success in life lies not in getting a good deck of cards, but in how to play the bad ones well.

8. When you were born, you cried and everyone laughed; When you leave, you smile and everyone cries.

10. Wear other people's shoes, go your own way and let them find it.

1 1. In a few decades, we will meet again, send them to the crematorium, burn them all to ashes, and all of them will be sent to the countryside to make fertilizer.

2. An expert looks at the doorway, while a layman looks at the sidewalk.

3. No roadside wildflowers, step on them!

4. I met a MM personality signature: I can't play chess and paint, and I am tired of washing and cooking.

5. I met a GG signature: Give me a girl and I can create a nation.

6. I met an old Shaanxi personality signature: ugly women are more troublesome, and black buns are more vegetables.

7. I met our teacher's signature: I tell you that the teacher is very angry now, and the consequences are very serious.

8. I met a writer's signature: it may seem like it, but it may not be.

9. I met a lover's signature: I don't have to count what I said, and I like it every day.

10. I met the sleeping king in the class. Personality signature: three full in the morning, three full in the evening, and six full before and after meals.

1. Midnight 12 on time! Otherwise, the princess will become Cinderella again.

2. Hello, is this China Mobile? This is China Unicom. My PHS is broken. Can you send China Tietong to fix it?

3. I am an academician of the Institute of Advanced Diving, Chinese Academy of Sciences, a Nobel Prize for Long-term Disconnection, and an Oscar Prize for Lifetime Stealth ...

4. that we wished to fly in heaven, two birds with the wings of one, I would like to be a pig in the same circle!

7. Split up-do you want a piece?

8. God said, "Let there be light." I said, "No!" So we had the night.

9. I pinned KONKA's TV remote control on my waistband and pretended to buy a new NOKIA mobile phone.

10. If the morning comes later, I think I will like it.

1. I can't give you happiness, but I can give you comfort!

2. Life is so fucking fun, because life always fucking plays with me.

3. Buddha said, "It took 500 times to look back in the past life to get a pass in this life." I would rather pass by once in the world for 500 times in this life.

The night gave me a pair of black eyes, but I rolled my eyes with them.

5. I am an actor, and my eyes turn round at the sight of beautiful MM ...

6. Angels can fly because they look down on themselves ...

7. I want to puppy love, but it's too late ...

9. I only trust two people in this world, one is me and the other is not you.

10. Don't speak English in front of me in the future, OK?

1. Get out of here as far as your mind goes!

2. Rogues are not terrible, but they are afraid of being educated.

3. Please respect yourself, guest officer. The little girl only sells herself and doesn't sell herself.

You can't satisfy everyone, because not all people are human!

7. Take the road of NB and let SB talk!

8. Water can carry a boat and cook porridge!

9. Zi said in Sichuan, "How nice it is to have a boat!"

10. It is not difficult to drive, but there are new people!

1. Wanted small MM, * * * to irrigate together; I irrigate the head of the Yangtze River and you irrigate the tail of the Yangtze River.

2. Love at first sight, then decline, and finally exhaust.

3. A person is not lonely, but only when he misses someone.

4. Life is easy. Live, easy. Life is not easy.

If I can see my back, I think it must be very sad, because I left all my happiness in front!

6. Work QQ, refuse to chat, if you want to talk strongly, every word is hairy; Punctuation, half price, more than 1,000 words, 20% discount; Expression picture, ten monthly subscription, audio and video, not yet opened; Chat after the first payment, chat as soon as the payment arrives, pay online and provide invoices; Free of monthly rent, single charge, double holidays, business as usual; Looking for an agent,

1. If something goes wrong, look for the reason from yourself first, and don't blame the earth for its lack of gravity when you are constipated.

2. It's a long way to go, and I'll go up and down and ask for help.

4. knit me a scarf, and I'm willing to pay back with my lifelong care. Otherwise, you can strangle me with a scarf!

Men pretend to understand when they don't understand, but women are just the opposite.

6. In order to cooperate with the successful completion of family planning work in China this year, I decided not to contact friends of the opposite sex for the time being. Thank you for your cooperation.

1. Birds are big, and there are all kinds of Woods.

2. The garden can't be closed in spring, so I'm pulling an apricot out of the wall.

Do you think I will watch you die? I will close my eyes.

I thought I was decadent, but I didn't know until today that my morning paper was scrapped.

5. I am old and old, my wife and my wife.

6. I regard money as dirt, and my father regards me as a cesspool.

7. I drank to drown my pain, but this damn pain learned to swim.

8. I am your kite, the thread is in your hand, and only the wind can accompany me.

9. Everyone else is pretending to be serious, so I have to pretend not to be serious.

1. Money is not the problem, but no money!

2. I won't accept anyone when I'm drunk, so I'll hold the wall!

I am like a fly lying on the glass, with a bright future, but I can't find a way out.

4. Do you know, big brother? The meat of the second brother is now more expensive than that of the master.

6. When the water is clear, there is no fish, and when people are mean, they are invincible.

7. Youth is like toilet paper. It looks a lot, but it is not enough to use it ~

8. Being pregnant is like being pregnant. It takes a long time for people to see it.

9. Friends around me, be famous quickly, so that my memoirs can sell well ~ ~ ~

12. I always treat handsome guys and money like dirt, and they always treat me like this.

13. Don't be lazy with me, I'm too lazy to compete with you.

14. I'm not a casual person. I'm not a casual person.

16. I'm in a bad mood today. I only have four sentences to say, including this one and the previous two. I'm done. ......

18. My first name is God, my second name is Jesus, my English name is God, and my dharma number is Tathagata. ...

2 1. The farmer's three punches hurt a little.

22. In fact, I have always been very popular: when I was a child, everyone loved me, but now I am a bitch.

23. Not afraid of enemies like tigers, but afraid of teammates like pigs.

Go your own way and let others take a taxi.

25. Rats carry knives and look for cats all over the street.

26. As long as you work hard, you shit seriously.

27. Who runs fastest in China? It's Cao Cao (not Liu Xiang). Because speaking of the devil.

29. Only when there is a long queue at the railway station can we truly realize that we are "descendants of the dragon".

30. Lovers make families.

3 1. Spring has come, and a flock of geese are flying north, one moment in a B shape, the other in a T shape. ..

32. Lie down where you fall.

33. You treat me like HELLO KITTY if the tiger doesn't show off its power!

34. Donkeys can read it backwards and forwards ~

◆ Women are plump, thin, slim, tall, slender, short and petite; Men are fat, pigs are thin, ribs are tall, bamboo poles are short, and melons are white gourd.

◆ Professor: In China, 90% of adult women are not virgins, so the President sent a letter to other 10% women. Have you heard about this? The girls shook their heads. "So you didn't get the letter!"

◆ "How much do you love me?" "As much as a dime." "Is that all?" "Isn't a dime a ten?"

You are very creative. It is your courage to live. Ugliness is not your intention. God lost his temper. If you live, who will set off the beauty of the world without you!

0 1. The early bird catches the worm, and the early worm is eaten by the bird!

02. Arguing with MM about whether a whale is a fish, I finally said, "I also bring a personal word", and she agreed that a whale is not a fish.

03. The iron pestle can be ground into a needle, but the wooden pestle can only be ground into a toothpick. The material is wrong, and it is useless to try again.

If reply was a virtue, I would have become a saint.

05. Life can't be like cooking. You can't cook until all the ingredients are ready.

07. Wear other people's shoes, go your own way and let them find it by taxi.

08. There is an old legend that people who can see beautiful women in XX campus will live forever ...

09. Can eggs from all over the world unite to break stones? ! So be realistic ...

1 1. Summer is just not good. When I was poor, I didn't even have to drink the northwest wind ...

12. I once had a pair of wings, but I didn't use them to soar in the sky, but put them in a pot to stew soup ...

14. I am not a casual person. I am not a casual person.

15. Today, a group of Japanese people visited our school-to be honest, this is the first time I have seen Japanese people wearing clothes!

16. How far your thoughts are, how far you roll! ! !

17. I am poor, so are my servants, my gardener and my driver ...

18. When the bank charges, it says, "This is in line with international practice!" When serving, he said, "We should consider China's national conditions!"

19. It is not necessarily a prince riding a white horse, he may be Tang Priest; The one with wings is not necessarily an angel, he may be a bird man.

23. My friend's name in his girlfriend's mobile phone is "He", and then they broke up and became "It" ...

24. Don't look for me if there is nothing, let alone if there is something!

27. What can I do to kill your lover ...

28. The Internet is like a prison. You stole a wallet to get in, but you will learn everything when you go out.

3 1. Teacher! Just follow the old woman!

32.i love you! What do you care?

33. There is no limit to learning the sea, and turning back is the shore!

37. I really want to personally call your grandfather: Dad!

38. Beijing University of Science and Technology cheated me for four years, so I plan to cheat the society with the knowledge taught by Beijing University of Science and Technology for life!

39. Friends around me, hurry up and become famous, so that my memoirs can sell well ~ ~ ~

40. When you put on the wedding dress of love, I also put on the monk's cassock ...

4 1. Never seen such a disgusting school-set the mid-term exam on May 8th! ! ! (hidden)

42. House prices are getting higher and higher, so there are fewer and fewer good men ...

43. If I become emperor, I will make you a prince!

45. I have never been reduced to an excellent college student, relying on strong quality!

46. Shit, I've been complained! The client said that the mp3 file I gave him had no image!

48. Reduce the number of boys behind each girl to six!

49. It rains in the east and rains in the west, and my tutor is heartless and affectionate. So I will fight with my classmates in the exam!

50. Hugging is really a strange thing. We are so close, but we can't see each other's faces.

1. What RMB should do is to take the path of the US dollar, leaving the US dollar with no way out.

2. A priest who doesn't want to be an abbot is not a good Taoist priest!

3. if you can't bear it, you can bear it again!

4. Know astronomy above, geography below, and don't know English.

A good horse doesn't eat grass when he turns back, because there is no grass when he turns back.

6. Life is like taking a shit, although you have worked hard, you still get a fart.

7. Sleeping means getting up tomorrow ~ ~! !

9. In 2009, as a post-80s generation, I still smirked!

10. A soldier who doesn't want to be a soldier is not a good soldier.

1 1. It looks fat, but it's still fat when you take off your clothes!

14. Young girls are precious, but young women are more expensive. If there are rich women, they can both be thrown away.

15. I swear never to swear again!

16. I'm short of money and women, but I'm not fucking wicked!

18. Cherish drugs and stay away from life.

19. Half of my life is unlucky, and the other half is dealing with unlucky things.

20. Is there still true love? Of course, there are many in TV series.

2 1. bloom is not for blooming, but for blooming more brilliantly.

22. Stupid is too smart!

23. Start with your heart.

24. Legally speaking, a sexual relationship based on money is whoring. If I send you a text message, we will have a "trust" relationship. Although it's only a dime, at least I've whored you in my life!

25. Although I lied to you, you should believe me!

26. Women's tears are the most useless liquid, but you make women cry to show that you are useless.

27. Haha,,,,, Being alive is the last word.

28. If you are alive, one day your life will burn out, your body will return to the earth, and flowers will bloom. The soul turns into a memory and lives forever in people's hearts. Everything in the world goes on and on, and so does human life.

29. In public, I often choose to be polite, but in private, I often insult my manners.

30. There are two kinds of men: one is lewd and the other is very lewd; There are two kinds of women: one pretends to be pure and the other pretends to be impure.

3 1. Ugly people, that is also special, that is, particularly ugly. The best among people.

3 1. I'm very tired today. I just want to say four words, including what I said earlier and what I said later.

Before the exam, I thought I knew everything. After the exam, I found that I didn't know anything.

33. It is better to spend money than to spend money.

34. Ugly people are human, because you are ugly, so you are human.

35. Busy-Busy with your heart. Without your heart, you will be dead …

36. Hatred is like fire, hating others but burning yourself.

37. Children who live in fairy tales will die in them.

39. Don't test people. People can't stand the test.

40. Joke catchphrase: I am also a cow this year!

1. Push me again, and I'll play dead for you!

2. I not only have a car, but also have my own!

3. I'll buy it for you if you like ... (after realizing each other's anger) Oh, no, it's "Brother, I'll buy it for you!"

There are so many people who despise me, who are you?

I won't tell you if you kill me, but you haven't made a beautiful plan yet!

6. Not only am I lucky, but my beriberi is also good!

7. The mirror always reflects light!

8. Does handsome have a P? Maybe it was eaten by pawns!

9. Give it to me and you don't have to worry. There is nothing wrong!

10. Relax, I'm not a good person. ......

12. Don't thank me, how dare I charge you money after thanking you!

13. Don't tell me to bring it on-I'm Avanti!

14. If you ignore me, I'll be a dog!

15. When will there be a bright moon? Ask Yi Zhongtian!

16. I can't reach it. Try stepping on my right foot with my left foot.

17. Some people are alive and she is dead. Some people are alive and he should have died!

18. You said ... you like me? Actually ... at first ... actually, I also ... well, I told you, actually, I liked myself.

19. Do you drink water, drink water or drink water? Take your pick!

20. Castle Peak is still there, only a little red.

2 1. Hey, say what should be said and whisper what shouldn't be said.

22. Can you say stealing about a scholar?

23. Damn it, don't ask such questions to single men!

24. Zi once said: Don't take my tolerance for you as your shameless capital!

25. Don't think I'm out of reach just because I'm handsome. In fact, I'm a sea of rivers.

26. It's a nice day, windy and rainy.

27. As a typical failure, you are really successful!

I really want to kill this bug, but my tongue is not long enough. ...

29. Three cobblers' feet stink and one Zhuge Liang dies.

30. In this golden autumn with red leaves and maple leaves. ......

3 1. One cut thyroid hormone, one not.

32. If you bother me again, I'll tie you to the straw boat and borrow an arrow!

33. The wind is rustling and the water is cold. If you owe money, you have to pay it back!

34. A: where to eat? I have no money.

B: Let's go out to the restaurant. It's on me-the hose.

35. See if there is anything left behind?

36. I have a green dragon and a white tiger, and I have a Mickey Mouse tattooed on my waist.

38. A: It's hard to swallow this evil spirit without revenge.

B: Then how can I make you die?

40. She is so fat that my thigh can't twist her arm.

4 1.

42. The world belongs to us and our sons, but in the end it belongs to the grandchildren.

43. I'll do my homework!

44.A: Have you done your homework?

B: yes! Well, it's still warm under the P stock ... Do you want it? Then here you are.

45. Who is sitting in the village today? He doesn't even clean the blackboard!

46. How much is a catty of these shoes?

47. I was really blind at the beginning. ...

48. Is this blind man blind?

1, two farmers play pigs

2. Kill the birdman and I am an angel!

Live well, because we will die for a long time! ! !

5. Have you ever heard the story that "the big pig said yes and the little pig said no"?

7. Artificial intelligence and natural stupidity cannot be compared-because we advocate pure nature.

8. We should keep quiet when listening to the lecture in the church. It is impolite to disturb others' sleep.

10, people are not smart, and they are bald! !

1 1, you are electricity, Li Siguang, you are the only myth …

12, the terrible thing about stupid people is not that they are stupid, but that they are smart.

13, I always wander between cow A and cow C.

14, not afraid of being used, I am afraid that you are useless.

16, weeding at noon, bow and shoot big carvings.

17, hair disappeared, dandruff is more outstanding!

18. Don't call me if you have nothing to do, let alone if you have something to do.

19, ning and wise men have a fight, and don't talk to sb!

20. A big woman can't have no power for a day, and a small woman can't have no money for a day!

2 1, if the day is negative, I will be embarrassed; If you fail me, I will shake!

22. The garden can't be closed in spring, so I lured an almond out of the wall.

24, life since ancient times, no one died, ah, shit without paper.

25, don't steam steamed bread for breath?

26. His knife is cold, his sword is cold, his heart is cold, and his blood is cold. Shit, isn't this man dead?

27, the greatness of life, die under the flower!

28. If I lose this life, then I don't want the afterlife.

29. I love you! What do you care?

3 1, take a newspaper to the toilet, I am a scholar.

32. Chopin of Niu B can't play Lao Zi's sadness!

33. Zhuge Liang never led a soldier before he came out of the mountain. Why do you want me to have work experience? ! !

34. Nonsense is the first sentence of interpersonal relationship.

35. As long as the hoe dances well, is there a corner that cannot be dug down?

36. You may not study hard, but you must never review well.

37. I learned a sentence from a friend: I'll give you ten words-how far the fuck is it, how far the fuck is it ~ I remember the first time he said this to a group of us, I saw that everyone was handing out ten words below. ...

The best way to deal with people who hide their ignorance by being silent is to deal with a man as he deals with you.

40, even believe in advertisements, you are stupid to read!

4 1 There are two ways to pollute a place: garbage or money!

42. The reason for constipation is that the gravity of the earth is too small.

I don't know whether I went to college or the college fucked me.

45. Most people only do three things in their life: deceive themselves, deceive others and be bullied.

49. It's easy to quit smoking, but it's too difficult to quit you!

50, to mix in the rivers and lakes, it is best to be single! !

53. All's well that ends well for the rich.

54. What is the feeling in the world? Everything has its vanquisher.

56, I am Jesus, his son, coconut ~!

57. University is about learning!

60, life can be done, life can also be exquisite!

6 1, other people's money and wealth are things outside of me.

63. I am the most honest person. Never tell a lie. Except this sentence.

64. Don't say that other people's brains are sick. The premise of having a brain is that you must have a brain.

65. I've been really busy recently, and it's hard to even get 16 hours of sleep a day!

Don't wash it, but for the mud, the broken car would have fallen apart.

67. Lingling, Lingling, and another ice cream.

68, three friends of the cold-hot pot, cabbage, hot bed.

69. I didn't mean to be different, so how can I have outstanding taste!

7 1, why do you need to sleep for a long time when you are alive, and you will sleep after you die.

72. I hope that one day I can double-click my wallet with my mouse, then select a 100 yuan, hold down "CTRL-C" and then keep "CTRL-V".

73, women are pleasing to themselves, and men are pleasing to themselves!

75, bald donkey, dare to rob the teacher with being original?

77. I said to the buddy sitting next to me ~ ~ You are only one step away from genius.

78, it is gold, it will always be spent; It's a mirror, it always reflects light …

79. Who can not shoot for 90 minutes ~ ~ Chinese national football team ~ ~

80. If you are given a pair of wings, you should be braised …

8 1 Being mean is a universal truth, and you and I are just one of them.

82. What's the use of a handsome man? Can I use my face to swipe my card at the bank?

83. It is said that men become bad when they have money. I have been a good man for more than 20 years!

84, face first, unable to return to the sky.

86. In the face of difficulties: Are you not afraid of death, but are you still afraid of living? In the face of danger: are you not afraid to live, but also afraid of death?

87, high is high, it is a straw bag; Short is short, can stand stepping on; Thin is thin and muscular.

88. Only women and English are sad, but only wives and jobs are hard to find!

89. There are three kinds of things that hurt people: troubles, quarrels and empty wallets. One of the most hurtful things is the empty wallet.

9 1, when arguing with others, take a step back and broaden the horizon; When chasing a girlfriend, take a step back and go to the empty building.

94, god wants to make people perish, must first make it crazy; God wants to make people crazy, he must first make them buy a house.

95. When the sky falls, you hold it and I hold it, hehe ...

96. The pull ring of the can loves the can, but the can is filled with cola!

97. Don't be the next one, just be the first one.

100, after studying for more than ten years, it is better to mix in kindergarten!