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1. Once upon a time there was a bird,

who passed by a cornfield every day,

but unfortunately,

one day there was a fire in the cornfield,

and all the corn turned into popcorn!!!!

After the bird flew over ......

Thinking it was snowing, it died of cold ......

2. Legend has it that

there was a killer,

whose heart was cold,

and whose sword was cold,

and whose sword was cold.

and his hands were cold!

So ......

he froze to death!!!!

3. A polar bear stays alone on the ice,

Bored, he starts pulling out his own fur

One ...... two ...... three.... ...finally plucked one left,

He suddenly exclaimed ............

It's cold! ..................

4. Once upon a time there was a man named Cai, and everyone called him Xiao Cai．

And it turned out ......

that one day, he just got served!

5. Once upon a time there was a little lamb,

One day he went out to play,

and he ran into the big bad wolf,

and the big bad wolf said "I'm going to eat you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

You guess, what happened

The result was that the big bad wolf ate the lamb

6. One day, the beanbag was walking on the road, and suddenly there was a car accident, and his belly was broken, and before he died, he looked at his belly and said, "Oh, so I'm a beanbag."

7. On a hot afternoon, a match head itched, scratched and scratched, and then caught fire.

Remember the afternoon match? There's actually more in the back, there was a match he felt an itchy head, scratched and scratched and then his head caught on fire, then he went to the hospital, the nurse bandaged him up and he turned into a cotton bud.

8. There is a child who looks like a tomato, one day he was walking, suddenly fell down 。。。。

Sequel: There was a polar bear, nothing to do, pulling his own hair to play, pulling out, he said: that penguin is right ......

10. One day, the three explorers finally looked for the "Valley of Hope", the legend says, if you stand on the side of the valley, you can find the "Valley of Hope", the legend says, the penguin is right. In the legend, as long as you stand at the edge of the valley and shout what you want in your heart, and then jump down into the valley, you will get a pit full of things you want. So the three of them decided to give it a try.

The first was a lecher, so he shouted, "Woman! Woman! The first one jumped down and there was a pit full of beautiful women waiting for him.

The second, a nerd, yelled "Book! Book! Book! Book! Book! and then jumped into the valley and got a pit full of books.

The third is an indecisive person, thinking left and right, always unable to decide their favorite, after an hour, he finally made up his mind, think it is still the most useful banknotes, so he walked to the valley side. He accidentally kicked a stone, he cursed "s h i t!" and unexpectedly fell down the valley with an unsteady center of gravity.

11. There was a fat man ......

who jumped from a high building ......

and turned out to be ......

dead fat! ......

12. Do you know why penguins live in Antarctica?

Because it's colder there...

13. The rock fought with the rice cake, and when he got angry, he kicked the rice cake into the ocean...

Tell a story, once upon a time there was a pair of lovers private life, but the boy needs to serve in the army, so he made a vow with the girl, gave the girl a diamond ring, and promised to meet with that girl three years later today, when, that ring as a wedding ring.

Well 3 years have passed, the girl has been waiting for the boys, but has not been able to wait, she was too sad, desperate to throw the diamond ring into the sea, far away from home. In fact, the boy has also been waiting for the girl, but the girl remembered the wrong date place, so it will forever become regret. The boy was heartbroken... A few years later. The boy went out fishing. Guess what he caught?

........

......

....

...

New Year's Cake

14. Wife:I was so blind to step on shit to marry you.

Husband:I was really blind to step on shit to marry you.

......

The shit:I am so unlucky! I'm so unlucky to have been stepped on by both of you while I was lying there ......

15. One day, there was a fudge walking on the street.

She was walking, and suddenly said, "Oh, my legs are so soft!"

16. One day, the teacher took a group of children to the mountains to pick fruits.

He announced: "Children, after picking the fruits, we unite to wash them together, and we can eat them together after washing."

All the children ran off to pick fruit.

When it was time to gather, all the children gathered.

The teacher: "Xiaohua, what did you pick?"

Small Hua: "I'm washing apples because I picked apples."

Teacher:

"What about you, Xiaomei?"

Siu Mei: "I'm washing tomatoes because I picked them."

Teacher: "The children are great! What about you, Ah Ming?"

Ming: "I'm washing my shoes because I stepped in poop."

17.A man left home to go to work on Friday afternoon. It was payday, so he didn't go home and spent the entire weekend out partying with friends and spending his entire paycheck.

When he finally gets home on Sunday night, his flaming wife is waiting for him and berates him for nearly an hour about what he did. Finally, his wife stopped her chatter and asked him, "How would you feel if you couldn't see me for three days in a row either?"

He replied, "I'd feel pretty good."

Monday passed and he did not see his wife.

Tuesday and Wednesday passed, and he still hadn't seen his wife.

By Thursday,

The swelling had gone down a bit, and he could finally barely see his wife a little bit out of the corner of his left eye.

18. This is a phone market research of pet food, the answer is a child.

Market surveyor: "Children, your family has no puppies, kittens, rabbits or birds?"

Child: "No, my mom only had one."

19. Once upon a time, Tomato A and Tomato B went shopping all the time. Then one day, suddenly a truck rushed out and crushed Tomato A. Tomato B was on the sidelines, pointing at Tomato A. Laughing: "Ha...ha...ha...ha...ha...ha...ha...ha! "Ha... "Ha...ha...ha...ha...ha...ha... Ketchup ~ ~"

20. There is a lovely pony, was tied to a lovely little pine tree, the pony pulled ah pull ah became a marathon ....

21. One day...

A buck ran faster and faster ......

and at the end of the day...

he turned into a ~"high-speed buck"~...

22. One day

The little penguin went to play with the polar bear!

Three years later, when he reached the equator, he remembered that he had left the door open

He went home and closed the door for another three years

Then, six years later, he reached the North Pole

Then, when he knocked on the polar bear's door, he said, "I'm here to play with you, Polar Bear!"

The polar bear opened the door and looked at the penguins and said: "I don't play! And closed the door!"

The penguin went home!!!!

23. There was a snake that bit itself, and when it was dying, it said, "So I'm a poisonous snake...".

24. One day, a pair of penguin brothers felt bored, so they began to pull out the hair on their bodies, and when he finished, he said, "It's cold!"

He E-mailed the polar bear, who lives in the North Pole, and said, "It's going to be cold when you pull out all the hair on your body!

The polar bear was half-convinced, so he pulled out all his fur, and it was "cold!"

He then e-mailed the lion in Africa, and he told the lion that it would be very cold if he pulled out all his fur!

The lion in Africa didn't believe him, he said: "I'm never cold! He pulled out all his fur and said: "It's cold!"

The bird in the tree thought to himself: "I'm really hot right now, and pulling out my fur will really make me cooler! So he pulled out his fur too, and he said, "It's so cool!" I'm going to go out and fly! He flew out and bang, it ~~ died ~~!

P.S. How can a bird fly without feathers?

25. On a hot summer day, two bananas were walking along the road.

The banana in front of him suddenly felt hot

He said, "It's so hot, I'm going to take off my clothes.

And he peeled off the skin.

The banana behind him fell down. ...

26. I had a headache the other day, and I was lying on the table, moaning, "My head hurts so much I'm going to explode."

The same table, Xiaoli, was very concerned about me, and she pulled on my coat and asked me, "Are you all right?"

Then she got blown up.

27.One day, the three little pigs built three huts to hide from the big bad wolf. The Big Bad Wolf blew up the straw hut, the wooden hut, and the brick hut without any trouble. The Three Little Pigs ran as hard as they could, but the Big Bad Wolf still caught up with them. The three little pigs said in despair, "You do as you please. We give up, as you do. At this point, the Big Bad Wolf smiled wickedly and said with a mouthful of saliva:

So tell me where is Little Red Riding Hood?

28. Xiaoming got a new haircut and came to school the next day, his classmates saw his new haircut and laughed: Xiaoming, your head shape looks like a kite! The students laughed at his new haircut and said: "Your head looks like a kite! He cried and cried. He flew up.

29. The white rabbit hopped to the bakery and asked, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

Boss: "Ah, I'm so sorry, there aren't that many"

"That's so..." The white rabbit hung his head and walked away.

The next day, the white rabbit hopped to the bakery, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

Boss: "I'm sorry, I don't think so."

"That's right." The white rabbit went away again, downcast.

On the third day, the white rabbit hopped to the bakery, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

The owner said happily, "Yes, yes, we have a hundred buns today!!!"

The white rabbit pulled out his money, "Great, I'll take two!"

30.One day,the bird flew from Gaoxiong to Taipei spending 1 hour. But it took 2 hours to come back!

WHY?

Because it was raining! So it was necessary to fly with one hand to cover the rain

31.There was a farmer who went up the mountain with a horse and a dog to hunt, and he couldn't get a shot after a day's walk, but the farmer kept going. Suddenly the horse said; "have been walking for a day. Do you want to tire me out?" The farmer and the hound were scared and ran away, they ran to a tree, the hound slapped his chest and said "I'm scared to death, the horse can talk" and the farmer was scared to death.

32. One day, Zorro went to his mistress's house to meet her. The woman asked Zorro: "What if my husband comes back?

"Zorro said, "It's all right, if your husband comes back, I'll jump out of the window, and my horse will be down there to catch me."

The woman said, "I'll jump out of the window, and my horse will catch me. "

The mistress said, "If I hear three knocks on the door, my husband is back.

Zorro said, I know.

A little while later, it was raining. Suddenly there were three knocks on the door. It was too late, that is fast, Zorro from the bed to leap down, a turn of the eye, has jumped out of the window. The mistress, seeing that Zoro was gone, went to open the door.

Only to see a horse standing in front of the door, he said to her, "Tell Zorro that it's raining outside and that I'll wait for him in the hallway."

33.An airliner was in flight when it was suddenly hit by a small air current, the passengers panicked and thought the end of the world was coming, a beautiful young girl stood up and summoned up all her courage to say to everyone: "Male passengers, can any of you let me try to be a woman before I die?"

As soon as the words left his mouth, a man in the seat behind him stood up and said, "I'll do it!" With that said the young man took off his t-shirt revealing his toned muscles, the young girl looked shyly and appreciatively at the handsome man imagining his next move only to see the young man throw the t-shirt at the girl and say as if in command, "Iron it!!!"

34. Xiao Ming got a new haircut and came to school the next day, his classmates saw his new haircut and laughed: Xiao Ming, your head shape looks like a kite oh! The students saw his new haircut and laughed at him. He cried and cried. He flew up.

35.A zoologist went on an expedition to Antarctica

He asked a penguin: "What do you do every day?"

The penguin said, "I do three things every day: eat, sleep, and kiss." He asked 99 penguins and they all said the same thing.

Finally, he asked the hundredth penguin, and the penguin said, "I do two things, eat first and sleep second."

The zoologist asked, "They all kiss, why don't you?"

The penguin said "....... Because I am kissT_T!!!"

36. Q: A rabbit races a fast turtle, guess who wins?

A: The rabbit~~

Q: Wrong~! The tortoise is a very fast tortoise, and it's a very fast tortoise.

Q: The rabbit is not satisfied with the situation, so it races with a tortoise wearing sunglasses again, and who wins this time?

A: Uh-huh. The rabbit, I guess

Q: Wrong~~! That turtle took his sunglasses off, too! It's the turtle that ran fast just now again Oh ^O^