A certain A went to the hospital for a health checkup, the nurse took a needle to draw blood for him, a certain A looked at the shiny needle and couldn't help but ask: "Will it hurt? I'm afraid of pain!" The nurse said, "Don't worry about it, I've been a nurse for more than 20 years. ......" A said, "Great, I'm relieved!" Then the nurse a needle down, only to hear a certain a pig-like scream, the nurse slowly picked up: "There is not a time does not hurt."

2. Getting it wrong

At the bar, George was drinking a beer alone. He suddenly felt like going to the restroom, and fearing that someone would steal his beer after he left, he wrote a note on the table, "I spit in my glass." When he returned, he found the paper had added, "I spit in it too." .

3. Too loud

Guge Liang is a person proficient in the eight arts of Qi Men, one of his specialties is ventriloquism. But this day Zhuge Liang is with Liu Bei in the tent deliberations, Zhuge Liang suddenly want to fart, and afraid of being heard by Liu Bei, embarrassed. He had an idea, said: "Lord, in order to regulate the atmosphere, I learn woodpecker called to you how to listen?" Liu Bei nodded his head. Zhuge Liang imitated the woodpecker and farted twice. Then he asked, "How is it, Lord? Did I do well?" Liu Bei said. "Liu Bei said:" You learn it again, just now you farted too loud, I did not see."

4.

There is an ugly woman who has never been able to get married, hoping to be abducted and sold, one day finally dream come true, was kidnapped, the kidnappers suspected that she was ugly, will be sent back to the original place, the woman resolutely do not get out of the car, the head of the kidnappers gnashing of teeth and stomping feet, said: go! The car does not want!

5. The train was very crowded during the Spring Festival, and a certain gentleman took advantage of the stop to stick his butt out the window to take a dump. The inspector under the car found shouted: cigar fat man, put his head back

6. Remember that year in the tree under the military training? The coach said to the students, "First platoon report!" You looked at the coach in surprise, and the coach said loudly again, "Report!" So, with great reluctance, you turn around and hug the tree!

7. The weather is cold and hot, in this season, the mood is difficult to calm down, always miss you far away, I would like to raise a pigeon, so that it flies to you every day, even if it can do just a simple action: in your head to take a shit!

8.

One night, a naked man called a cab, the female driver stared at him, the naked man was furious, roared: you fucking have never seen a naked man ah! The female driver was also furious: I'll see where the fuck you get your money from!

9. A village woman for the first time into the city, want to go to the toilet, a long time did not meet, had no choice but to turn to the police: comrades, there is a public toilet in front of the mother toilet, please ask where?

10. The nurse saw a patient drinking in the ward, went over and whispered to him: "Little heart!" The patient smiled and said, "Little baby."

11. An old man lost his car, when he put a new car downstairs he put three locks and a piece of paper: let you steal! The next day the car was not lost, and there were two more locks and a piece of paper that said: let you ride!