Source | Meet Xiaomi (ID: yujianxiaomi20 15)

Since our company invited my aunt to cook, I found an intangible benefit. The feelings of colleagues have become closer. At lunch, everyone will chat. After work, everyone will shine, have dinner and then go home.

The biggest change is Jun Jun, whose character is much more lively.

They are all young people and will talk about finding a partner. Jun Jun's mother said to her, "As long as you can make money, you don't have to get married."

This sentence, Jun Jun is very useful, very recognized mother's point of view. But I have been in our company for a long time, so I always ask why. Why does the traditional mother suddenly understand?

Jun Jun found that behind her mother's words, she was disappointed with her life and past marriage, and didn't trust the other half.

Jun Jun's parents have been divorced for eight years. In the two years after their separation, Jun Jun's mother held a deep grudge against her father. As long as she mentions him, she can't stop accusing and abusing him. Mainly after the separation, Jun Jun's father lived a better life, but her heart was unbalanced.

Now, with Jun Jun's mother living a beautiful life alone, she occasionally says something when she meets something, without resentment, but some subconscious dependence still exists.

In our eyes, Jun Jun's father is not a good husband, but relatively speaking, he is a qualified father.

When the parents divorced, the mother was only assigned to a facade of their community 1 building. The area is not large. In recent years, it has been used as a warehouse to rent storage equipment to others. In terms of cash, it is only 654.38+10,000 yuan.

Dad has three houses, one of which was transferred to Jun Jun. At present, Jun Jun has given this house to his mother.

Jun Jun and his sister's tuition, living expenses and other expenses are borne by their father. If there is anything that needs money, he never refuses to ask Dad.

Jun Jun said that some time ago, something happened in their family, and our reaction refreshed her three views to some extent, making her more objective about the relationship between her parents.

Jun Jun's father gave her this house. The floor of the master bedroom is too old, and a floor tile has collapsed. The floor is broken, so it needs to be repaired naturally.

At this time, Jun Jun's mother thought of her father and thought that this was something he should be responsible for.

Jun Jun said, "My mother's first solution is my father as long as it involves this apartment or my sister and me."

Jun Jun's mother thinks it's no use asking Jun Jun to ask her father for help. Jun Jun was very resistant and embarrassed. The matter dragged on and on, and it was a long time before she hesitated to mention it to her father.

Dad's reaction: "You ask your mother to fix it first. how much is it? I'll give it to you and you give it to her. "

Jun Jun believed his father's words because he never broke his word on money, but his mother didn't believe him. After that, it was shelved until her sister asked again, and dad directly paid for the floor change.

I said to Jun Jun, "Your father is very good."

Why do I think Jun Jun's father is very nice? We can't comment on our parents' feelings, but he chose to take responsibility and obligation.

That is, this sentence directly hit Jun Jun.

Why this sentence, will cause Jun Jun's thinking?

Jun Jun said, "I never realized that for us, Dad never owed me and my sister the time and material he should bear.

It's just that he really owes his mother a lot. Her mother turned all these debts into ours. Let's ask for them and let Dad compensate us. "

In the past, Jun Jun's mother had been immersed in a failed marriage and thought that Jun Jun's father owed her.

Aunt and second aunt are even more indignant. From time to time, they say, "You are so stupid that you don't ask your father for anything, and you are embarrassed to ask for living expenses. You should take the initiative to ask. "

This sentence is "what you want". Since his parents divorced, Jun Jun has been listening to it, and it has become so subtle that when he became an adult, Jun Jun didn't feel anything wrong with this sentence, and instinctively felt that it was right to find a father.

In this marriage, Jun Jun's mother has been a housewife for more than ten years and turned a deaf ear to things outside the window. Occasionally, her neighbors and relatives get bored and invite her to play mahjong together. After that, she will go home to cook and take care of Jun Jun and her sister, and the day will be over.

Later, Jun Jun's father became rich and his family moved from the countryside to the city. Jun Jun's mother learned some secrets of her father, and they played a game of "cat and mouse" from then on. They won't give up until they chase each other home.

In this way, before her sophomore year, Jun Jun's life was filled with endless slapstick, and she became more and more introverted and didn't like to express herself.

Jun Jun is in pain. Once, after they had a big fight, Jun Jun quietly sent a short message to his father, probably asking them to divorce and stop torturing each other.

Jun Jun's father took her and asked, "Did you send that message?"

Jun Jun admitted it.

Incredibly, he asked Jun Jun, "How can you say such a thing?" It's not like Jun Jun's previous role.

Jun Jun responded with tears: "It's me."

Later, Jun Jun's father didn't speak. Later, the news of parents' separation spread all over the family.

Jun Jun didn't know what role his short message played in his parents' marriage.

But after her parents separated, she felt that life was less depressing and much easier.

What should Jun Jun's parents do after their divorce?

After graduating from senior three in Jun Jun, her father remarried, and now his wife was introduced by a friend, which has nothing to do with the past. Jun Jun and his sister feel better, but their relationship with their aunt (now their father's wife) has been lukewarm.

Last year, my aunt gave birth to a baby. Jun Jun said that when she looked at this face exactly like her when she was a child (Jun Jun's three sisters are all like her father), whether she liked it or not was different. Her sister became a link to ease their relationship, because the communication between her sister and Jun Jun and her father and aunt seemed less deliberate and more natural.

Jun Jun said, "Compared with before, my father knows how to take care of his family's feelings and has learned to do housework. This is his change. Even if it's not for my mother, it's a good change for me and my sister. I used to be jealous, but this is more comforting. He still has a gentle side. In the blink of an eye, he will be 50 years old. "

Jun Jun's mother tried to find a job after independence, successfully supported herself, learned to dance, and made many friends in the process of dancing.

Recently, Jun Jun's mother signed up for a fitness class, and she exercised 65,438 hours on time every day. She often goes to Jun Jun to punch in and show Jun Jun around her yoga classroom.

Jun Jun's mother became more confident. She can make up and socialize. The most important thing is that she has an optimistic attitude, which makes her family very happy.

Compared with the housewife who knew nothing before, she finally lived like herself in middle age.

After their separation, they both developed in a good direction, which may be the reason why Jun Jun wanted his parents to divorce. This is a good separation.

Let's go back to the beginning of this article. Most parents can't accept that their children are not married, and Jun Jun's mother is so avant-garde, which makes Jun Jun think about the meaning behind this sentence.

Essentially, Jun Jun's mother didn't see the possibility of settling down in men, and her disappointment with men made her think that men were unreliable.

Jun Jun's mother once told her very firmly: "In any case, you must have a job yourself, even if the salary is very low, it is better than nothing."

I can feel that Jun Jun accepts the relationship between her parents very much. There is no hate in her heart, only love. Similarly, an experience will make you grow a lot.

Jun Jun's mother got a job and sold furniture in the furniture city with the help of relatives. The income is only enough for her to live on her own, and Jun Jun's father, after years of accumulation, has supported the new family and paid the living expenses and tuition fees of Jun Jun and his sister without any problem.

When my parents divorced, considering the financial situation, Jun Jun and my sister awarded it to my father, but they offered to live with my mother.

Indeed, this is a place where society is unfair to women. Taking care of children at home has no source of income and can only rely on each other's sincerity.

Sometimes, Jun Jun thinks, "If my mother has the ability, her marriage with my father may end earlier. Perhaps, dad will respect her more, which is a very cruel reality. "

Jun Jun works hard and has great potential. Occasionally, when we talk about houses, we will make fun of Jun Jun. You still have a million-dollar house in your hometown.

She told me:

"Mi elder sister, I wish I could give myself a sense of security. We women always like to emphasize security. In feelings, we think that our suspicion and emotional repetition are the reasons why the other party is not doing well.

In fact, as long as you have nothing, think about it in your spare time, no matter how promised, your doubts will come.

Only when you really achieve a certain goal, achieve some achievements and sublimate your own pursuit, will you find that only you can satisfy yourself with a sense of security. The lowest worry in your heart is gone, and your panic is reduced by half. "

Jun Jun's understanding of the phrase "you can make money without getting married" is that he wants to be economically independent and earn more money, so that he will not be changed by life in love.

If she meets love, she doesn't reject marriage, but she wants to be herself all the time.

20 19 12 3 1 In the evening, I went to the scene to listen to Luo Pang's "Friends of Time" New Year's speech. Luo Pang quoted his partner as saying: "Don't live up to the opportunities that this era gives women."

Later, Hua wrote an article, "Why don't you live up to the opportunities given to women by this era?" ",explains this, many of which I agree with:

"In this era, women should no longer consider any option of self-sacrifice. If your husband or someone needs you to make such a sacrifice, it is simple that you are not that important to him/her.

Only the workplace will give you a fair price for your efforts and contributions. Your husband, children, relatives, none of them will.

Even if you quit the workplace, you must never leave the active social network and reduce social contact (parents are not included).

The most tangled problem for women in the workplace is children. As a mother with two children, I want to say that your children don't really need you in their lives, but they do need an interesting, intelligent and respected mother as a female role model in their long lives.

The strongest competitiveness of women is' getting things done'.

Every time you ask a man, think about whether you can do it. This is the real independent woman. "

Finally, I can tell you a secret: the biggest bonus of this era is that most people are still unprepared for the rise of women, and they are caught off guard.

Interested friends can read this article. I really think women in the workplace are getting better and better.

I am married, and my married life is not bad. But the real sense of security is given by the profession. Before entering marriage, we must have our own career.

Xiao-:In the media, I met the founder of Xiaomi, the author of Realizing in Action, a native of Shandong, a psychology major, and settled in Shanghai. For three years, I worked as an ordinary employee of a marketing director and started a business to share my professional experience and growth story.