Title: This article is composed of three paragraphs of text posted on Sina Weibo.

One section has been read more than 5,000 times.

Very gratifying to me.

The three paragraphs think about why marriage is a problem.

It was caused by an answer given by Kant, and I published some discussions around this answer.

Now they are combined into one and re-proposed to highlight the main theme - sexual marriage.

This is definitely one of the answers to why we get married, and there are certainly many other answers, but I only know this one, and by showing it, I hope to attract more other opinions.

Let’s enrich our understanding of marriage together.

Why marriage?

It’s unknown how many people have thought about this problem, or if it’s not a problem at all.

Except for a very small number of people who either have no choice or have no interest in not getting married, most of us want to get married.

And you have to go through most of your life.

Is something so common and ordinary a problem?

I've never thought about it, so it's not surprising.

Recently, after retirement, I have been feeling that this may be a real problem that we have ignored.

Thinking and thinking is of no use.

In fact, this question was triggered by a reading for me a long time ago, probably more than thirty years ago.

At that time, my heart moved, but it was vague, as if I felt something, but I couldn't figure it out.

If you can’t untie it, you can’t let it go.

Until now, I have been asking questions in my heart.

The time after retirement allowed me to think leisurely, and this problem became highlighted.

It was Kant who read that time.

In addition to recording a lot of troubles, the clearest thing is this sentence: Marriage is to determine a fixed sexual partner.

Here, it is necessary to introduce Kant.

First of all, he is a famous philosopher who has influenced the world for hundreds of years until today.

Secondly, he was born in K?nigsberg, a border town in Germany close to Russia.

I've been here all my life and never left.

Secondly, he is 1.5 meters tall and has never been married.

Finally, there is his life, one is study and the other is food.

Such a small, big man who has never been married made me confused. At the same time, he also made me remember a sentence, that is, marriage is about "determining a fixed sexual partner."

Kant's knowledge, for me at that time, made my heart warm, my face red, and my mouth embarrassed.

But it is firmly pulled and cannot be placed.

Over the years, I have experienced many marriages around me. Those from one or more generations above me are mostly from my same generation, and there are also those from the next generation.

I discovered that marriage for “sex” does indeed exist.

There is no lofty goal, it is not a comrade's interest, it does not even have anything to do with carrying on the family line.

Just a sexual partner, fixed, that's all.

That's all, but it maintains the stability of the family and the continuation of the marriage.

"To identify a regular sexual partner."

This sounds to us like we really don’t know what to do.

Fortunately, he was able to think it out and talk about it.

As I mentioned in the previous paragraph, some people in life do marry for sex.

This kind of marriage is also a successful marriage.

It maintains the stability of the family and ensures the continuation of the marriage.

How valuable this is!

Compared with those people who spend their whole life getting married without knowing why, confused and fighting, it is clear after all.

It is always better to do something clearly than to do something confused.

In fact, marrying for sex is not easy.

First, this is a matter between two people.

Wishful thinking doesn't work out.

Consensual consent is not simple.

You understand, but the other party also needs to understand.

Just because you know it doesn't mean the other person also knows it.

Even if it is an unspoken agreement, it needs to be generated over time and cannot be achieved overnight.

Second, there are various conditions for the agreement, so you need to wait for the opportunity.

The conditions are not met, the time is not ripe, and there is no way to make an agreement.

This is not a negotiation, something will come and go.

Rather, it is about observing words and colors, and developing them through compassion and compromise.

Third, Chinese culture is shy about talking about sex, and sexual topics are not on the table, which makes Chinese people afraid to get involved in this aspect.

This in turn leads to a lack of motivation and a lack of energy.

From this point of view, marrying for sex is not simple.

This concept of marriage, which originated from Western culture, must have more aspects that are difficult for us to understand.

I am showing this today because I want to explain that this is also the case for at least some of the marriages among our people. This is another commonality of human nature.

Furthermore, will it inspire us to think more broadly about marriage.

Marriage is really a big deal for people.

In the past we thought too little.

With the inspiration of Kant and the broadness of our culture, there will definitely be more answers about marriage.

However, the concept of "marriage is to determine a fixed sexual partner" only points out the direction of marriage for some people and summarizes the concept of marriage for some people.

But if you only stop at sex and marry for sex, it may be difficult to enter the advanced ranks of marriage.

Because sex is a necessary part of marriage, there is basically no marriage without sex.

That is to say, sex is the basis of marriage.

There should be continued building on the foundation.

It's just a foundation, and in an architectural sense, it's still a half-finished project.

In the sense of marriage, a lot of luster is also missing.

To stop there must be unspeakable difficulties.

Just a last resort.

Who has established such a view on marriage before getting married?

Probably only philosophers like Kant.

But he himself did not implement it.

So we can definitely think that Kant’s concept of marriage should be a low-level marriage.

Some people recognize it and some people implement it, but it does not mean an improvement in level.

I affirmed Kant's concept in the previous two paragraphs because the Chinese people in the past thought less about marriage as a major matter.

Is this a shortcoming of our culture?

No matter what, when faced with such a big thing, it is better to be clear than confused.

In this sense, Kant reminds us.

Faced with all kinds of marriages, why don’t we put more thought into summarizing and refining them?

It is so related to ourselves, to human nature, and to the development and progress of our national culture and philosophy.