-Sometimes you want everything to be as good as new, and sometimes you want everything to be as usual

As always happens, you drink a lot, talk a lot and listen to music loudly.

I sat on the windowsill at the end of August. It was a little cold, and the room was dark. At 9: 31 in the evening, I didn't turn on the light.

There are many things that people can't stop, such as drugs, drugs, alcohol, delicious food, sexual desire and loneliness. Once I thought, unless the roadside stone fell in love with the tree, how could I fall in love with loneliness? In the end, I became a lonely addict.

the most precious thing about a holiday is not how much time you have to sleep and go to bed. People who live in a group for a long time will forget their own appearance, their numb demands and their dreams of getting old. During the holidays, they know where they are hiding, go for a walk, blow a hair, and stand on the roof, breaking away from principles and trying to live a comfortable life.

The future hasn't arrived yet, and the past flows away. I am the only one standing at this moment, and loneliness is the belief of the lonely.

Loneliness is not worth showing off, but accepting yourself.

There is a hook on the white wall, the one with a big bottom, which says "meeting the wind". It's a wonderful look when it meets the wind. I always wanted to hang a wind chime on it, but later I thought it might be too noisy and gave up.

Although I am only a person, I am eager for someone to walk with me. I will feel frustrated and confused because this person has not appeared for a long time. This is called loneliness.

although I am only a person, I was before and after, and I am addicted to walking alone, willing to live for it and die for it. Although I have no desire, I am also confused and frustrated. I am like a pilgrimage, which is called loneliness.

loneliness is loneliness with desire, and loneliness is loneliness without desire.

I hope there will be such a person in my life. She loves me, so she will carefully collect my gifts and read my notes with a smile. She loves me, so she will finish reading my sometimes distorted words. She loves me, so she is willing to give me a big hug, and she will always be ready to accept a big hug from me. She loves me, so she will gently pat my quilt when I can't sleep and tell me that she is always there. She loves me, so she will love me anyway, so she will tell me that she loves me, so she also believes that I love her.

-We sang together in those years, and the wind of the years flowed quietly, falling in love with your pure face, so my heart made me sad.

Growing up is a lonely empty lane, please light a beam of light for me, even if it is over.

I still like to indulge in meditation.

The night breeze on the roof is very cool. A large plane about to land at Changbei Airport stands out in the clear sunset sky. The clock across the road strikes the hour, pigeons are singing all over the sky, and the picture is almost frozen.

people are social animals after all, but people are naturally lonely.

I seem to remember when I began to like the sunset. It was a picture in a history textbook. The acropolis in the sunset, with its colonnades reflected in gold, is hard not to make people throb. In this place with the Parthenon and Aeschylus, the original pride of human beings and the pride of life are engraved everywhere.

At that time, I thought that I must watch the sunset under the colonnade of the Parthenon once in my lifetime and disappear into the harbor of Piraeus on the horizon, imagining whether Pericles once stood in the same place and walked through the haze of years, and whether he also loved the sunset here.

at that time, I thought I was going to Buenos Aires, where the sea breeze was blowing in the purple flower fields and Argentina was singing in the wilderness. Don't cry for me.

That's what I wanted to do. I wanted to have a cabin and a big waterwheel at the foot of Loki, squeaking every morning and calming every evening.

Later, I almost forgot where I wanted to go, the sunset on the hillside, and the way bees stayed on wild chrysanthemums.

"I'm not going, there's a fire. Look at the hillside in the sunset, it's burning."

I forgot the dream I had, and looked at the sunset I loved deeply, just looking at it.

-leaning against the white wall in the sunshine at four o'clock in the afternoon

Sure enough, many things can't be planned, and planning is equivalent to infinite delay, such as buying a children's literature. From freshman year until now, it is always delayed for various inexplicable reasons. I always lack the courage to do something trivial, but fortunately it is just trivial, but fortunately it is irrelevant.

Autumn is fine, and the sky is high and windy. This kind of time is suitable for a good afternoon's sleep. When I wake up, it's the sunset, and osmanthus fragrance. It's always a luxury for a person with obsessive-compulsive disorder like me to enjoy this semi-paralysis occasionally.

I rode to Aixi Lake again the other day. I can ride this place with my eyes closed. I must say that the scenery by the lake is still great, if I don't care about those flying insects. Along the way, the two funny girls didn't feel very tired. They didn't eat much in one day and didn't feel very hungry. Sure enough, girls are omnipotent tonics.

A lot of pimples suddenly broke out on my forehead, which was particularly painful when I touched it. I didn't have bangs originally, and because of the pimples, I cut the circumference of that spiral shorter, just like a break. In this school, it is best not to let others know that you are ill, otherwise a group of people will be eager to prescribe medicine for you, and the purpose is not necessarily to cure your illness, but more to prove whether your own syndrome differentiation works.

I deeply appreciate the words "Spring is born, summer is long, autumn is harvested, and winter is hidden". Every time I write a lot of essays in spring and summer, it is full of emotion, although it is not literary grace. The essays in autumn and winter are always recorded as a running account carelessly. I envy that most people who have writing control have beautiful hard-pen calligraphy at the same time, and they can enjoy it while writing. So ... can I also be called writing control with WPS ?.. I can't blame the ugly words (don't blame me for who! )

Steal a lazy job before the exam and insert two short stories written before ~

—— Youth begins to break up, freezing the immature face, but closing your eyes can't hide it, lingering eyes

After graduating from high school, I haven't heard this song for two or three years. Coincidentally, I was near the university graduation, and I accidentally found it in the TEMP folder of E disk, more precisely, like it.

whenever you want to write something and don't know where to start, talk about the weather. Today is a standard "Nanchang-style winter". It's cloudy and sunny, and the air conditioning is pressing. After spending four winters in Nanchang, as a northerner, it's still hard to adapt. It's hard to say that northerners are frost-proof and nothing without heating, or that southerners are fierce. I remember that when I first experienced the cold winter in Nanchang as a freshman, I went from early autumn to deep winter in almost one day. I just died in Zulgrabu on April 2, got up and lit a cigarette at the window, rubbing my cold fingers and thinking, I guess I will get used to it next year.

It's the last winter of my senior year.

It happens to everyone. When you realize the "last time", those bad experiences will gradually fade away, leaving behind some good memories. Actually, it's not that bad. Nanchang is all right except the weather and traffic. After all, some things are inevitable when people are in a foreign land, no matter where the foreign land is, it has nothing to do with the name Nanchang.

"All along, I have a kind of hope and expectation for' misty rain south of the Yangtze River', mixed with it, there is also a love for traveling. Now, I am here. "

——2113.6.25

I remember that after the college entrance examination, I insisted that I must go, no matter where I go, I just don't stay in Shaanxi. Now, it seems that the "man's ambition" praised by my relatives around me at that time is more like a justified escape.

and this escape is four years, and now it is coming to an end. It feels like a wanted man will eventually turn himself in. Different from the previous winter and summer vacations, I realized that "going home" was an ill-considered but no choice for me after I packed a large box of luggage and wrote the address to send it home.

Four years has made me know a lot again. Some things are inevitable, just like your photos are branded with "wanted", and you can't get rid of them wherever you go. You can breathe freely for a short time and indulge in temporary freedom like an addiction, and all this will eventually happen. After going to college, home is more and more like a symbol, a symbol printed on the ticket, a totem engraved on a distant pillar, which has nothing to do with me.

If college can change me, I don't think I am better after going to college, but I must admit that college has made me more adaptable. In these four years, I met many people who made me want to talk, but finally chose silence. I met many things that made me angry, but finally chose numbness. I don't need to identify with everyone, which doesn't prevent us from becoming friends. Similarly, some people can't mention it at all.

What's wrong? Looking back, one of my far-reaching mistakes is that I just joined the Student Union in my freshman year and left within two weeks. At least up to now, this is still a mistake. At the beginning of school in September every year, when I watch my freshmen being interviewed in various departments of the Student Union, I have to ponder over it repeatedly. At that time, I dropped my notebook at the regular meeting and turned away. Since then, I have been insulated from any group activities. Whether I did it right, whether I was handsome or true, has long been unknown. I think if I raise my eyebrows again, I will say, "I despise it." I don't think it's very convincing. After all, I haven't done anything and got nothing in these four years without this group. Of course, I regret it. Frankly speaking, I live in a crowd, but I am also a perfectionist. I would rather be short of it than excessive. I need most people in this group to be as good as me, whether it is a conspiracy or a conspiracy, whether it is ability or skill. I have no chance to prove this. Although I can't talk about my unfulfilled ambition, I am also unwilling and lonely. It's not without benefits, for example, getting used to loneliness and learning to be cautious and independent, which I couldn't do before college. Fortunately, I'm gradually becoming a relaxed person, and I'm no longer obsessed with an overexertion life.

I love revelry. I, quiet inside, am adept at it. I am loud and quiet. I am not too inexperienced, but I will still be different.

Later, I realized that sometimes it is necessary to condescend to know some people below me. Although their words and deeds are like children playing house, like I was 15 or 16 years old, I need the environment. Without the environment, I can only be silent. This time it is four years, and the next time it may be my whole life.

I remember when I walked into the school gate in my freshman year, I listened to The Name of the Day with tassels and golden rays, imagining myself as a Cinderella Blood Knight carrying Oberline, who was passionate about traveling and adventure, with clear love and hate. When I was about to leave, I still liked to listen to the name of day by day, but I was already a necromancer with a hunched back. I suddenly remembered Benedictus' words, there is no good, no evil, no light, only strength. When I bought the ticket, I somehow ended up leaving quite late in my class. So that the night before leaving, there were very few people on campus. When I graduated from high school, a group of people were laughing and joking. The concept of parting really came very late. I thought the university would do the same, because I had almost no resistance to being cold and cheerless. When I stay on campus alone, I feel as if I don't know this place at all.

It's no trouble to pack things. First, because I've already sent away the big pieces, and second, I'm not leaving at all. I have to go back to my home for two days tomorrow night, so I brought a cup, a wine knife, half a pack of tobacco and a corn bucket I made myself, in addition to my school bag and computer. I want to take back the poster of Jaina's frozen throne, and I want to stay here as a souvenir. After all, there is more than one poster that I can't take away. The final decision is to carve it with a knife and roll it up and put it in the cupboard tomorrow.

Let's stop here for the journal. The more you write, the more sleepy you get. If the age of 21 is the old age < P >-when you are sad, hang down your hands, raise your head and go to the future, where there will be a dream of running, rendering the black and white that is deeply trapped at the moment. When you are anxious, lower your head and look at your feet. There is not so much change and anxiety, and there is no speculation about fate. Only this step can be done, and only the next step can be seen.

and the rest is left to the time arrangement. The sadness you think can influence your life always becomes a story in a careless moment.

? In my impression, Laba often snows, or at least it is cloudy. It should be only on such a day that the hot steam on the roof of Laba porridge rises when it is cooked. If it is suddenly mixed with a ray of warm winter sun, it may spoil the atmosphere of the occasion. The concept of Laba has not been seen for many, many years. When I was a child, when I was around my grandmother, I would start a "busy year" every time I passed Laba. From this day on, until the thirtieth day of the twelfth lunar month, the house and the house were busy and messy, and steamed jujube buns, braised pork belly, fried meatballs and fried hemp leaves in the cauldron began to linger from sunrise to sunset, which was about the tip of my tongue.

so I still remember laba.

After Laba, grandma couldn't always take me to play, so I moved a small bench and sat under the pear tree in the courtyard, holding a small stick to poke the mud pit made of snow water, poking a bubble and poking a bubble. Grandma said, I can't play with urine and mud to dirty my clothes, I can't touch the bird's nest, and I can't go to the field to pick wild jujube to eat, because I'm too young.

But it's boring to sit like this. Can I go when I grow up? I leaned against the trunk and looked up at the tall pear tree, but even if I tried my best to stretch my neck, I still couldn't see the tallest tree tops.

when I grow up, when I'm twenty years old, when I'm as old as my uncle, I'm going to climb the tree and eat pears by myself, and I'm going to pick the pears on the highest tip that my uncle can't reach, and give them to grandpa and grandma, who will eat the pears I picked and praise me for growing up.

but when will I be twenty? It's frustrating that there are not enough fingers. Ten years old is already a great age for me. My neighbor's Mudu brother is ten years old. He can walk alone through the winding mountain road full of jujube thorns until he reaches the boulder standing on the roadside.

In those days when I often sat under a pear tree, I didn't know that the law stipulated that 18 was the age of majority. In the world I can see when I look up, "walking to the boulder at the end of the mountain road" is an expected adult ceremony, which only ten-year-olds are allowed to do. Climbing to the top of the pear tree is another distant scene, which is not so much a hope as a slim one, coming from my twenty-year-old age who can't guess with my head tilted.

Time, you are hiding, like butterscotch in your pocket in the blink of an eye, like a fantasy that can't fit in my little brain.

"twenty years old? Is it the next time the pear tree blooms? "

"Next pear tree.