1. What program is full of deceit and lies but is extremely popular among the people? Answer: News Network!

2. If developers can’t afford the people’s houses, they can ask the court to enforce them. So, if the people can’t afford the developers’ houses, can they also ask the court to enforce them?

3. A chicken knows the world best, and a duck is a prophet of human feelings.

4. Having * does not necessarily mean you are a mother, but having money must mean you are a father!

5. They are all Chinese, no need to worry about quality!

6. Since two prostitutes claimed to be graduates of a prestigious university, I now generally call myself illiterate!

7. When I take off my clothes, I am a beast, but when I put on clothes, I am a beast!

8. Since I turned into a pile of shit, no one dares to step on my head.

9. Your ugliness has nothing to do with your face

10. There are two ways to pollute a place: garbage, or money!

11. You look so creative and live so courageously!

12. You can live like a pig, but you will never be as happy as a pig!

13. People always make mistakes, otherwise the right path will be overcrowded.

14. In order to cooperate with the successful completion of China’s family planning work this year, I have decided not to have contact with friends of the opposite sex for the time being. Thank you for your cooperation.

15. I will not bend down if money falls from the sky, because even pies will not fall from the sky, let alone money.

16. Give me a fulcrum. I tilt the neighbor's car into the ditch to prevent him from honking the horn when he sees me.

17. If my boss doesn’t give me a salary increase next month, I will resign. Before resigning, I will give him two Chinese coins and beat him to death.

18. You'd better let me kneel on the washboard. I can't stand kneeling on the electric heater!

19. I will definitely not feel anything if I drink a pound of liquor, because I will be dead after drinking half a pound of liquor.

20. I will still look for you in the next life, because besides me, you are the stupidest person.

21. Occasionally, you will feel happy if you are silent for a while, but life will be miserable if you are silent for a while.

22. Don’t hang yourself from a tree, hang yourself from several trees. Try to die a few more times - die completely!

23. A moment of impulse, the crisis of the descendants of the peerless Tang clan!

24. The early bird catches the worm, and the early bird catches the worm!

25. I was arguing with a girl about whether whales are fish. Finally, I said that Japanese people also use personal characters, and she finally agreed that whales are not fish.

26. It is said that women are like clothes and brothers are like brothers. Looking back, I actually ran around naked for 20 years!

27. There is an old legend that people who see beautiful women on the Beijing University of Posts and Telecommunications campus will live forever.

28. Can eggs from all over the world unite to break them? Stone? ! So you should be more realistic as a human being

29. If you are not afraid of enemies like tigers, be afraid of teammates like pigs!

30. Summer is just not good. When I was poor, I couldn’t even drink the northwest wind.

31. I am not a casual person. When I am casual, I am not a human being.

32. Life is sometimes like being raped by a eunuch. Resisting is painful, but not resisting is still painful!

33. In bed, practice is the only criterion for testing skill.

34. I don’t know whose wife is on my bed. I don’t know whose bed my wife is on!

35. Beijing University of Science and Technology deceived me into spending four years in college, so I plan to use the knowledge that Beijing University of Science and Technology taught me to deceive society for the rest of my life!

36. Dinosaur said: When you meet a pervert, don’t panic; when you meet a beast, take your time and enjoy it.

37. When did the mandarin ducks embrace each other? The ducks watched the fun on the side .

38. Yesterday, Xihua smiled at me, and she was so happy that I kept counting sheep at night, one sheep, two sheep, three sheep

39. When I grow up, I will marry Tang Seng is a husband. If you can play with him, play with him. If you can't play with him, eat him.

40. Break the wife’s lifelong system and implement the aunt’s shareholding system. Introduce the young lady competition system and promote the lover’s contract system.

40 funny signatures

1. Staying up late is the only relief from staying up late and sleeping is my only relief

2. God will definitely forgive me, because that is his profession

3. Don’t think that just because you wear sexy glasses, you are an artistic young man

4. Use this hand to drive away mistresses and continue to fight for future happiness

5. I What kind of person I am depends on how others treat me

6. Don’t underestimate me, I have also fought for the revolution before

7. Money is a bastard, spend it Let’s make more money

8. Who can resist a charming smile

9. Do what is possible and don’t do what is useless

10. Look at your appearance A human face, but a heart that is worse than a beast

11. My sister’s charm is unstoppable, but your fart brought her back

12. Xiao As a kid, I see everything with worldly eyes

13. The myth you heard is what my sister has been saying

14. You like everyone to surround you, but I It can make you faint

15. Eat, drink and have fun, only a wife feels the same pain

16. If you have walked past and cannot come back, isn’t that time

17. If everything follows the rules, it would not be called life

18. I only put my heart with you temporarily, don’t forget, you have no right to hurt me

19. Who is your accessory? Are you still my spare tire

20. The fact I hate is that you say you like me but never take action

21 , My sister never uses data when surfing the Internet. The neighbor’s wifi is enough for me

22. My friend’s birthday is tomorrow, so I sent her a text message when I got up the next day: Sofa

23 , Some people are serious and make me feel distressed, and some people are so mean that they make my teeth hurt

24. Nonsense is the first sentence before a relationship

25. You are the wind , I am Sha, and lingering becomes a sandstorm

26. I just want to cut off the relationship with you, but I can still afford the ten cents for text messages

27. The meaning of Tongyanwuji is to regard the words spoken by children as farts

28. There is plenty of meat. After eating it, the meat on the body will not fall off

29 , No matter where we are, we shameless people will never fail

30. The doctor told me to do photosynthesis, so don’t stay up late

31. Big brother in hand Big, with a bb machine on your ear, don’t be obsessed with brother, he already has a wife

32. I don’t think I am the material to be a mistress, I will always lose after playing again and again

33. The most valuable thing about a person is that he keeps his word. If I don’t pay him back, I won’t pay him back

34. Don’t say I have changed, this is all given by you

35. I want to change Powerful, God brought me to this world just to be the boss

36. Treat your sister’s love as a game, let’s see if you still play in the end

37. Can you be The things taken away are all rubbish

38. To put it bluntly, I am a stubborn person. If I fall in love with you, there is no cure.

39. Women are for pain, and men are for pain. Breadwinner

40. Put away your hypocrisy, now, immediately, immediately, pack up your clothes and get out of the house, prepare for 618 Chop Hands’ funny and humorous sayings in general sentences (40 items)

Prepare some funny and humorous sentences about 618 shopping

1.18 Shopping Festival has not come yet, I have started buying, buying, buying mode and then buy again

2. Today is the occasion On the auspicious day of 618, I hope that happy things will happen. When you hear the magpies chirping, good luck has entered your home!

3. Fast

The combination of Lefacai boxing will make you happy and leisurely: one punch will bring good luck and you will smile every day; two punches will bring you health, and you will always be by your side; three punches will bring you success, and your heart will never change from now on. 618 is about to have fun, and the punches are all from the heart. May you be in a flowery mood and have endless happiness!

4. Every time it comes to 618, two kinds of people will suddenly emerge, one is the self-proclaimed hand-chopping party, and the other is the prodigal mother-in-law. The former is nothing more than showing off their wealth, and the latter is the most hateful: not only He has a wife and shows off his wealth!

5. When I have money, I will definitely use two pieces of paper when I buy a large size.

6. "What should be discounted most in 618?" "Your hands!"

7. It's like an enemy of yours. The happiest thing is spending it.

8. Anger has nowhere to go. I’m going to buy, buy, buy. Women should be nicer to themselves! After shopping, go watch a variety show, otherwise you will be the one who gets angry and turns gray...

9. Don’t call them poor, call them price-sensitive consumers.

10. I always want to give you some discounts, but you still don’t come?

11. Why stand and grab when you can buy lying down.

12. Get fat, be happier, laugh, be happy, be in a daze, be in a good mood, get rich, be beautiful, send text messages, send blessings, 618 is happy to send, I wish you happiness, Wealth will follow, joy will surround you, and wealth will surround you.

13. I was just shocked by myself. I really don’t know how terrible women are if I don’t clean up. I bought a lot of things but never used them. I always felt that I was lacking this and that. The problem was that every time I had a big problem I have to follow up to buy, buy, buy. This is just a small part of it. Taken together, I think I am a stupid e-commerce dog

14.618乐要发, you are a model of the new era618乐凯发, you set an example for everyone to watch618乐Want to make a fortune, eat an egg and get a double yolk egg 618. Want to make a fortune, win 10 million in the lottery

15. Fighting for three days. So tired. The way to relieve your anger is to live a better life than him (her). Start buying at 6.18 tonight. 50 facial masks and a Chanel bag. 5K, you can start tonight.

16. It’s been a long time since I walked so much, it’s been a long time since I went out to eat and go shopping with my best friends, and it’s been a long time since I chatted so happily.

17. Women, even empty-nest old women can’t pass the lipstick test. Buying makes you happier and buying makes you healthier. ?

18. When a woman reaches a certain age, she has to buy and buy in order to suppress her manic heart. I want to buy clothes, beauty tools, lipstick, bags, buy, buy?.

19. Not only get married together, but also settle the bills together.

20. Today is a good day. As long as you keep raising the corners of your mouth, good luck will come and you will have 618 fun. Preparing for 618 Chop Hands Funny and Humorous Sentences Part 2

21. It’s a bit scary for women to just buy and buy—I’ve been addicted to buying earrings recently.

22. A woman is indeed a creature that cannot control what she buys.

23. Two people are on a blind date.

24. Winning a prize, picking up a treasure, wealth and luck will surround you; worries disappear, smile more, happiness will accompany you and you will be in a good mood; the sun shines, the clouds are clear, good luck and success come to rely on you; 618, happiness I wish you good luck and happiness.

25. Women really can’t go shopping together. The shopping is so fast that they can’t stop at all. You buy clothes and I buy shoes, happy impulse spending.

26. A group of women go out to buy and spend money to make people happy.

27. '6' The six good fortunes belong to you, good luck comes first, '1' wishes you a happy birthday, countless blessings, '8' will bring you wealth, you will have continuous wealth, 618 will be happy, I wish you Make money every day, make money every year, and make a fortune happily.

28.618 is about to be happy, and wealth envelopes you and me; 618 is about to be happy, and gold coins are rolling like a gate; 618 is about to be happy, lottery players win big prizes when buying lottery tickets, and stock investors are happy about stock trading; 618 is about to be happy, Businessmen make a lot of money by doing business, and everyone gets paid.

29. Happy to send, send text messages wishing you happiness, and convey blessings to convey good mood; 618, happy to send, smile a few times with joy, and spend cash and banknotes as you like; 618, happy to send, happy life Happiness blooms and wealth rolls into your home. I wish you happiness and great fortune!

30. After crying until my head was deprived of oxygen, I finally understood the logic of the whole thing. Although I still didn’t believe it, I felt much better. The biggest gain is... I started consuming again. When I was shopping...yeah, milk, buy, buy, buy. Yeah, potato chips, buy, buy, buy. Yeah, La Tiao, buy, buy, buy... Consumption is always an outlet for women to vent their bad moods. I feel like I cried in vain...?

31. You little girls and wives need to figure this out! If a woman buys, she will remain the same, but if she doesn’t, she will remain the same! If He Han can like us Junjun, then we Junjun will know it.

On 32.18, you can buy and sell as much as you like, using my favorite items, and you can also share Q interest-free. It would be great if I could have this kind of good thing every month.

33. I don’t like walking, but I love shopping.

34. Happy to be prosperous, blessings for getting rich will help you prosper, wealth will follow you every day, fortune will be with you all the time, wealth will flow with you, and the God of Happy Wealth will lead you. I wish you happiness, wealth, and a sweet life!

35. Have fun, I wish you sweet happiness, good health, no bad luck, the God of Wealth smiles at you, and money rushes into your home!

36. I can wait a little longer to fall in love, but if I get rich suddenly, please do it now! immediately!

37. If the money is gone, you can make it again, but if the product is taken off the shelves, it will be gone.

38. The shopping carnival is coming in full swing, are you ready to grab it?

39. Send blessings, may you have good luck, forward greetings, may you be happy Always be here, spread your wishes, may you have continuous wealth, may you have endless happiness, may you be happy, prosperous, and have continuous joy.

40. The price will be determined by you! 39 super funny humorous joke sentences

1. When men and women flirt, the most distinctive Chinese character is born: concave and convex.

2. Don’t always think that just because you have a tan can cover up the fact that you are an idiot

3. When I lie down, I am the sun and the earth, and when I lie down, I am the sun and the universe!

4. I am not afraid that beautiful women will treat me as a pervert, but I am afraid that ugly women will treat me as a gangster!

5. Men have walking genitals!

6. What two people miss each other is called love. A person who thinks blindly by himself is called a baseless person.

7. All unforgettable love is the moment when the soul wanders on the bed!

8. If you cannot put your woman into a wedding dress, then never stop unbuttoning her clothes!

9. I won’t bend down if money falls from the sky, because even pies won’t fall from the sky, let alone money.

10. Don’t become bad in debauchery, just become perverted in silence.

11. When will the bright moon come? Ask the blue sky for wine... Qingtian said: Fuck you, I'm so busy, I don't have time to care about you, just look at the weather forecast...

Ten 2. Insufficient social experience means lack of experience.

13. On a whim that day, I used your photo as my computer desktop. Holy shit, I actually got a computer virus!

14. "Does it hurt?" "It hurts." "Then forget it!" "No!"

15. Skipping too many classes, I want to go to class one day, see you When we arrived at the professor, the professor was surprised and said that he had grown so big after not seeing him for such a long time.

On Valentine's Day, I found the phone number of a girl I had a crush on in middle school and sent her a text message: If there is only one bowl of porridge, drink half the bowl first and the remaining half. I put it in my arms to keep you warm... A few minutes later, she responded with a text message: Who introduced you? Four hundred at a time, seven hundred for the night.

17. It is said: Women are as fickle as the weather, and men are like weather broadcasters - unreliable.

18. Either live well or die quickly.

19. As long as someone tells you that he is busy, it is equivalent to announcing to you that you are not important to him. 3813. I didn't miss my appointment last night. I climbed over the wall to find you, but the stupid dog in the yard bit me out.

20. Marriage is the grave of love. Without a grave, you will die without a burial place.

21. When I smile, my smile is full of the bohemian temperament of a poet. Behind this bohemianism, there are delicate and warm emotions. When I am silent, when I raise my head, I feel like a pure and graceful girl in the choir, and when I lower my head, I feel like a profound and elegant nobleman. Yes, I am such a man who perfectly combines various seemingly irreconcilable qualities.

22. Should your child take human milk or your milk now?

23. Please promise me not to change your name in the next life, so that I can find you easily.

24. The best poet in China is in a mental hospital.

Twenty-five, 71 photos fully reveal the reason why the South China tiger has become an ultra-rare species - the tiger that was photographed from the front with its tongue sticking out for half an hour without changing its posture will become extinct if it does not !

26. Rain is born, not genius!

27. I hope you can walk on your own in the future. And me, riding in the car!

28. I have only one wish every day - to be alive tomorrow!

29. I bury corn in the soil in spring, and I will harvest a lot of corn in autumn. In the spring I bury my wife in the soil, and in the fall I will... be shot!

30. Every time I face delicious food, I tell myself: "If you eat too much, you will die." But it turns out that I am really not afraid of death.

Thirty-one, even Beckham doesn’t know, what qualifications do you have to dare to talk to me about basketball!

Thirty-two, I have eight honors on the left and eight shames on the right. They are represented on the waist and harmony is on the chest. People who stand in the way kill people, and Buddhas who stand in the way kill Buddha!

Thirty-three. Having breasts does not necessarily mean you are a mother, but having money must mean you are a father!

Thirty-four. When I came to this world, I had no intention of going back alive!

Thirty-five, my daughter is a baby girl. ...

Thirty-six, I think I am a pervert, I have Oedipus and like the best mature women. Otherwise, why do I want to fuck my grandma every time I see that face of our supermarket supervisor?

Thirty-seven. Why did your cell phone run out of battery so quickly? Tell me who you discharged it to.

Thirty-eight, you should let me kneel on the washboard. I can’t stand the electric heater!

Thirty-nine, in abstinence, do not disturb! Otherwise, I will break the precept.