the farther you get from the past, the deeper your memory of the past. Maybe it's because I'm getting old. In recent years, I always think of the past. Although it's all fragmentary shots, it becomes more and more clear with the accumulation of time, and it is fixed into one picture after another, which slowly unfolds in front of my eyes and my mind ... That happy and carefree childhood, poor and full adolescence, hard and rich youth, and young and sweet first love, marriage from scratch, dribs and drabs, trivial and fragmentary.

my memory probably started when I was five years old!

That year, my younger brother was born, and my father was a branch secretary in the village, and he was often too busy to get home. My mother had to work hard, do housework and take care of the children, so my grandmother picked up my sister who was only two years older than me just after the full moon. My sister left, and I had no playmates at home before I was six years old; Because of my younger brother, I am no longer trying to be a child under my mother's knees, so under the pear tree in the fork of the room, it has become a paradise for me alone. All my toys are made from local materials: three small bricks are used to build a cooker, tiles are used as pots, bowls are used as bowls, two short sorghum stalks or corn stalks are used as chopsticks, and a few hay stalks are used to top firewood. As for the ingredients, it is even richer. Mud, stones, leaves, wild flowers, etc., together with the water dripping from the eaves into the bucket when it rains, can be made into a "delicious food" with the same nature. Then, I will play the role of three by myself. When I am tired of playing house, I sit under a tree, fold butterflies with all kinds of leaves, talk to myself, sing and sing to myself, and enjoy myself and Tao Tao alone. My mother said that when I was a child, I was very good and never bothered her. She could do housework and see her brother with peace of mind. My mother also said that I was very clever when I was a child, and I could be deeply inspired by listening to the radio speakers installed under the eaves, compiling books and dramas, and forming a song of my own. Once at grandma's house, I rolled my eyes and sang and danced, which made Zhang Zi fall from the kang with laughter. I even boasted wildly: I just want to sing you to death ... < P > Sometimes, my father will have a rare leisure. He takes a small bench to sit under the grape trellis, and I crouch between his legs, while my father hummed "Other people's daughters have flowers to wear, dad and I" This is the warmest and happiest moment in my childhood memory. This lens is engraved in my bone marrow like an axe, and it will never be forgotten. My father's young, resolute and loving face is as clear as yesterday. Although my father died young, nearly 3 years have passed between us, but the time can be old, and the great pain is still deep and earnest. Every time I think about it, I can't help but burst into tears.

My sister was eight years old, and when she was old enough to go to school, my parents took her back from my grandmother's house. At the age of six, I clamored to go to school with my sister, and my father pleaded with the principal, so I was accepted as a first-grade pupil in my sister's class.

At that time, our primary school curriculum was very simple. In the first to third grades, only arithmetic and Chinese were included in the textbooks, and politics and nature were added in the fourth and fifth grades. No one asked the teacher to make up lessons, and there was no homework after class. My sister and I can easily get the first and second place in every exam. At that time, I don't know why, my family was always busy, and when my mother was too busy, my sister and I were asked to take my ignorant brother to school and look after the children while going to school. In class, my brother sometimes sleeps under the table, and sometimes cries loudly. At this time, the teacher lets us go out to play, so my sister and I take my brother to watch sparrows on the school threshing floor, or pick jiujiu flowers on the playground to amuse him. Most people born in the 196s have the same experience. Adults are busy, and there are many sisters. It is not unusual for brothers and sisters to take care of their younger brothers and sisters while going to school. Although the school does not advocate it, it does not object to it. Teachers also take special care of it. It is really human.

In a blink of an eye, it was time to be promoted to grade two, and my father interceded with the principal again. This time, he wanted me to repeat the grade, saying that I was too young to be promoted too early and was constrained. I was in a hurry and went to the headmaster in tears: I am the second place, so if I don't let the second place be upgraded, can't all the students behind me be upgraded? "It's quite reasonable!" The headmaster was amused and laughed: "Ok, little one, you can get promoted, as long as you can keep up!" " In this way, I became the youngest student in the second grade, and my sister was still in the same class.

In the winter of the third grade, the weather was particularly cold, and my hands and feet were severely frostbitten and black and blue. At night, my heel itched so much that I couldn't sleep. It didn't help that my mother boiled water for me every night. Later, my right little finger cracked a big crack, often bleeding, and I couldn't bend in pain. Lian Bi couldn't hold it, so she had to take a long vacation. I missed a whole winter semester, so I had to repeat the grade, and my relationship with my sister's classmates ended.

My elder sister wants to make progress and is afraid of falling behind. Driven and urged by my elder sister, I dare not be lazy. Therefore, my elder sister and I won the first and second place in grades one to three. As soon as I was separated from my sister, I couldn't do it, and the phenomenon of partiality became more and more obvious. No one could compete for the first place in endorsement. My excellent composition was often used as a model essay, so I was not interested in arithmetic. The low-level curriculum in primary school was simple, and I didn't find it difficult to be forced to do problems by my sister. By the fourth and fifth grades, when I had applied problems, my simple skull was covered with a fog, and I became more and more confused, whether it was the school midterm exam or the township organization.

speaking of fun, there is another thing that I remember vividly. In the fifth grade that year, it began to rain at noon one day, and several of our classmates who had finished reciting books early jumped squares and kicked buckets on the steps under the eaves of the Great Temple. I was accidentally pushed down the steps by a classmate, laughing and laughing, and my mouth and face touched a big stone. I was swollen like a pig, and I graduated from a primary school right next door. As a result, I failed to take the exam, and I stayed one grade again, just like a tortoise and a rabbit race. I ran so early.

There is another thing that we are ashamed to say, which is also our passion. Haha, that is catching lice. Nowadays, children have no idea what lice are and what they look like, but at that time, lice were probably our most loyal and caring partners. They followed us all the year round and couldn't get rid of them. Especially in winter, it is easy to breed lice if you wear thick clothes and have no conditions to take a bath. You see, after class, the girls are in groups of three and five, and they are tied in piles under the window sill of the classroom. Whoever has more lice on his head is the most popular. Everyone is scrambling to lean in front of her like a hero, and some will be anxious if they can't squeeze in. One head is numb with five or six hands. Sometimes it's like a "monkey exploring the moon", strung into a line. You catch it for me and I catch it for you. If you catch it, it's fatter than the big and small competitions, and it's really lively. Boys, sitting on the ground, can easily and quickly pick out a few fat guys from the folds of clothes and trousers, then draw a circle on the ground, trap them in it and command them to fight. Hehe, in an innocent and carefree era, you don't know how to fight with heaven and earth, let alone people, but fighting lice is also fun!

Carefree school life can't fill the poverty and hunger of family life after all. At that time, there was basically nothing to eat. The main meals were mostly miscellaneous grains such as potatoes, sweet potatoes, corn, miscellaneous beans and pumpkins, and the number of times you could have a meal of white rice in a year was very few. So at that time, what we were most looking forward to was the Chinese New Year holiday, because only during the Chinese New Year can we eat a little meat and taste a little meat, and those with good families can put on a new suit. There are also snacks, such as Sophora japonica, elm, red dates, mulberries, reed root, willow leaves, etc., which can be easily eaten when swiped from the tree or pulled out of the ground, and can even become the food on the family table with a little processing. Blow off the floating soil with a frozen red mouth and wipe the mud on the surface with dirty hands, and you can eat and chew with confidence and taste the mellow taste of pure natural food without worrying about being murdered by profiteers. Compared with now, although the material is extremely scarce, the safety factor is much higher.

The whole family, old and young, have worked hard for a year, but they still lack food and wear less clothes during the Chinese New Year. There are many brothers and sisters. The eldest wears the second child, and the second wears the third. In the smallest few years, they can't wear a new dress. Every family is "three years in the new, three years in the old, and three years in the sewing". Moreover, all the clothes, socks, shoes and hats are hand-sewn. Therefore, housewives at that time worked harder. In addition to working with men, they had to use their leisure time and evening time to operate. In my childhood memory, my mother didn't seem to sleep. When she woke up in the middle of the night, she always leaned against the window sill, took soles, knitted sweaters and sewed clothes by dim oil lamps, and cooked in clothes at dawn. As for food, the rations distributed by the team with a small population are barely enough to eat, and it will take six months to eat melons and vegetables. In less than half a year, the team with a large population will eat a liter of rice and a bowl of noodles. Moreover, because of the extreme lack of oil and water in our diet, we are always hungry. We often eat the last meal and look forward to the next meal, and there are no snacks. The steamed corn bread left in the morning is not allowed to fill the hunger in the half morning and half afternoon, and we have to give the labor at home as dry food at night. So we look forward to the most mature season. At that time, whether it is planted on trees or grown in the ground, it will become our "search" object and food in our stomachs if we can't wait to ripen. "It's worse than a mouse!" Adults often scold us with hate and pity.

like all children, my sister and I started to learn to cook very early. When my father was away and my mother was on the ground, my sister was my direct leader. She assigned me the task of holding firewood and burning the fire, while she contracted many links such as washing vegetables, cutting vegetables, mixing and wiping noodles. Nevertheless, when my sister got everything ready to wipe the noodles, I didn't boil water for others. There are probably two reasons. One is that I am too stupid to light a box of matches. The second reason is that I am so obsessed with reading that I forget to do anything as long as I have a book in my hand. For this reason, I often provoked my sister to get angry. When I was very angry, I pulled my braid and kicked my calf, so that my scalp always got goose bumps and my legs were always bruised. Later, my grandmother found out that she severely criticized my sister, which was a relief for me.

In addition to cooking, digging wild vegetables in spring, picking wheat in summer, picking grain in autumn, and picking cinders in winter, we also have work to do all year round. Speaking of playing apricot, I once had a thrilling experience. It was a summer, my sister and I followed my grandfather to play apricot in the mountains more than 3 miles away from home. When I went there, it was sunny and sunny, and when I was playing apricots on the mountain, the weather changed in May, and soon it was overcast with lightning and thunder. Grandpa saw that the battle was wrong, so he quickly came down from the tree to pick up things and called us to hurry down the mountain. Unexpectedly, walking fast and walking slowly, pouring rain suddenly fell from the sky. Before we walked a few steps, we heard a loud thunder overhead, which scared my sister and I into grandpa's arms and didn't dare to look up. Grandpa held us motionless for a long time. When we recovered, we turned our heads and looked, ah! It's scary! I saw that the apricot tree that Grandpa had just climbed was cut off by the middle, leaving only half a stump bare! Three people stood in the dense rain curtain, although they couldn't see each other's faces clearly, they seemed to hear each other's drumming heartbeat, and it took a long time to recover. Grandpa was carrying two halves of the frame, and my sister and I were carrying half a small bag. The apricot was turned into mud by the rain, and we were poured into a drowned rat. On the rugged and muddy mountain road, the three grandparents and grandchildren walked one nest at a time, one step at a time, one step at a time and one step at a time, until they reached the foot of the mountain, they had already rolled into clay figurines. Coarse clothes and cloth shoes are particularly easy to absorb water and get muddy. When you walk, it's like dragging something weighing several hundred kilograms. You can't move your feet and legs. After a few steps, you have to stop to pick up the mud on your shoes and wring the water on your clothes. This way, you walk for nearly five hours in more than 3 miles, and you don't get home until it's dark. At this time, your home is in a mess. Grandma and mom went to the village entrance for dozens of times. See you. My sister and I both caught a cold for several days. Since then, Grandpa has never taken us to play apricot.

In winter, my sister and I go to the garbage dumps of various institutions to pick cinders. Dad gave us the hook of the net with wire, which can dig deeper and not hurt our hands, and then take a dustpan or a small basket. When I come home from school, I throw my schoolbag away, and I don't need to be told by adults or urged by each other. I take my tools and set out separately. In order to gain more and be more efficient, my sister and I usually split up according to the agreed route, and then we will compete to see who picks more and returns early. In a winter, the cinders picked by my sister and I are basically enough for bank up at home at night. Sometimes, when we pick cinders, we will dig out a penny-and-a-penny wool ticket or a plastic thread or a piece of wool rope. At this time, we will be so excited that we will show off each other, and then carefully treasure it in our own small box and open it from time to time. This simple happiness will last for a long time.

at that time, the school worked part-time and planted a lot of land. Sometimes after school, when busy farming, I simply stop working. Carrying water to water the land, lifting manure and fertilizing, I remember that the school also planted rice, and the rare children directly rubbed the ears of rice and ate the big grains of rice. Corn is planted every year, and breaking the cob and picking corn particles is the work to be done every year. In the summer and autumn harvest seasons, the teacher will lead us to help the production team pick up wheat ears, harvest crops and pick up grain. Throughout the year, no matter at home or at school, there is often work and leisure. Every child is a grown-up and has to shoulder part of the responsibility of creating and building a life.

Of course, children are children after all, and naive age will be forced to be clever and cunning by life. That summer, the school assigned us a task to cut 2 Jin of Xanthium sibiricum seedlings every day. Xanthium sibiricum seedlings have thorns and prick the hand, which is very difficult to cut. In addition, the whole school is out, and there are more wolves and less meat. What should we do? Several of our close friends got together to come up with ideas. Some people suggested stuffing bricks into the xanthium seedlings when they were tied. Some people said that the xanthium seedlings were watered with river water and weighed. Everyone used this method, and I don't know if the teacher really didn't realize it or sympathized with our difficulties. Anyway, they got away with it, but only once or twice. When helping the production team to pick up wheat, we sometimes hide in the uncut wheat fields and pick them one by one, which is much easier than picking them up in the harvested fields. And when the school collects dung, we steal it from the barn of the production team during lunch break. One or two people watch the wind, one or two people shovel it out quickly, and one or two people put it in the box. The cooperation is perfect. We really practice the slogan on the school wall with our own actions-"unity and tension, seriousness and liveliness". At the same time, we are uneasy and mixed with a little success and satisfaction. Now I think that all the hardships have disappeared like smoke.