In the summer of 2017, my son participated in the Great Love Youth Summer Camp and learned about natural mind-body vibration therapy and retreat. Before that, I was asked to meditate collectively for an hour without music. I experienced it as torture. But my 13-year-old son (who was also afraid of being bored to death before) took the initiative to participate in retreat during the summer camp, which really surprised me. Children help us grow as adults, which helped me break my belief that I could not endure the dark side. My son received a set of books signed by Faye Wong and Nicholas Tse, "The Truth of Life" from teacher Wang Xianming as a gift for his outstanding performance in exploring the secret land of Sapu in Tibet. My husband and I both watched it and gained a more specific and in-depth understanding of natural mind-body vibration therapy and "sleep". It happened to be that the recruitment information for the last Master Class was released, and I was tempted at the first moment. Plus, as soon as Shufang made an offer, and Chongge encouraged me (telling me not to be confused about important events in my life), I signed up without any delay, and despite all the difficulties, I came!

Taste solitude - Black retreat 2018.1.1-1.10 Chengdu

On the evening of January 1, everyone gathered in the lobby of the retreat center, and were called by name one by one by Teacher Xian'er and taken to the retreat room. , I felt as if I was about to go to the execution ground. I thought that this moment would come a little later, so I procrastinated and missed calling me twice. I was washing and organizing things, and I was still hesitating whether to bring something in (such as socks and underwear!) to make myself feel better in there. Others say, "The more things you bring, the more you think about them, and then you wonder what to change!" Well, if that's the case, then bring nothing and give it a try! In fact, I also secretly brought a handful of candies (to prevent hunger) and a bottle of tea tree essential oil (to sterilize). When I went to bed on the first night, I seemed to be in a daze as if there was a "click, click, click" sound on the bed next to my pillow. I wondered if there was a mouse? When I sat up, there was no sound, but when I lay down, it came again! Forget it, never mind, you won’t die anyway. But at night I dreamed of a little kid hiding under my bed and playing tricks. This is a scary point when you first enter the quarantine room and travel through it. Later, when I woke up, I observed that the sound was actually the sound made by my own body pulling and rubbing against the quilt. Ha ha! Although I listened to the teacher's "Taste of Solitude" audio several times before the retreat, and I understood the truth, I did not set any lofty goals for myself that I wanted to achieve. If I really want to talk about goals, they are useless goals. Just don’t go through these eight days and nine nights in too much pain. This is already a great experience and breakthrough in life! The teacher said that the first three days were the irritability period, but I am very glad that I got through it smoothly without being too irritated! After having breakfast at 8 o'clock, I would shake my body, stand on the stand (I couldn't shake it at all), practice my Qi (hiss, hiss, hiss...), and sing Buddhist songs softly. I was afraid that the next door would be disturbed, so I didn't dare to practice for a long time. After finishing a round of work, I went to the bed to meditate, rotate my body around my hips, and practice yoga for a while on the bed. However, the bed was too soft, and I was afraid that there would be too much movement, so I didn’t feel strong enough. Forget it, don’t bother! The teacher keeps saying, if you are too lazy to die, just lie down and stay! After dinner on the third day, a beautiful piece of music suddenly came from the speakers in the room. What a joy. But then the teacher's short recording of a few words was played, the song ended, and silence returned! When you are bored, a piece of music is such a luxury! I know, there will be another song like this on about the sixth day. Hum! Fortunately, I have been able to sleep well at night during these days of retreat. I can sleep for more than ten hours almost all night until dawn, but there are just a lot of dreams. (Based on this, I judge that there are still many distracting thoughts.) I still stay in bed after breakfast is delivered, which is usually the case. Incredible. So during the long wait during the day (eating breakfast and waiting for dinner, eating even if I wasn’t hungry), except for one eggplant meal that was too unpalatable, there was almost no rice left. When everything was despairing, eating these two meals was the only pleasure at the moment. ! Haha) It’s not too painful! When I first entered the customs, the small flashlight ran out very quickly, and after a few meals there was not much left. But then I got familiar with the environment, so I just finished eating in the dark. I poured all the vegetables on top into the rice bucket, stirred it, and tasted it bite by bite. Only when I ate it in my mouth did I know what it was, haha! In the past few days, none of the common phenomena mentioned by the teacher have happened to me, such as the purging reaction of vomiting and diarrhea, the feeling of body swelling, the ability to see the light (sometimes it seems a little bit, it does not last long and does not generalize), the consciousness Out-of-body fugues and so on. I burp and fart a lot more. What should I do? This is all I can do! So I don’t expect the teacher to patrol the customs. Anyway, I don’t have anything to report, hehe! I haven't been practicing awareness all the time, I just wake up when I think about it. My daily life is simple and quiet, with no worries, so I don’t seem to have too many thoughts. It's so quiet that I always want my neighbor next door to make some noise, but she's so well-behaved that she has nothing but eating + occasionally going to the toilet + occasionally filling her with water. It seems that I am not doing my job properly! Counting on your fingers day by day, meal by meal, how many days are left until you are released from seclusion, remember that Menerqing is clear. Really, what kind of state of mind would I have if I was uncertain when delivering food? After this experience, maybe next time I will have zero expectations for the future. I will only be in the present state, abandoning any time and space. The state of the body concept is only in the state of awareness! The biggest gain from this retreat is that it made me understand a truth. If black retreat is the norm in life, then everything in life is a gift and deserves to be grateful. There is also light, food, music, and books that are readily available. I can also communicate with whomever I want at any time, and my children harass me, which makes me not so bored.

Then you should live in contentment and joy every day! Why do people always want more when they have it? ! And if I regard everything I have in daily life as what it should be, then when I lose some of it or want to ask for more, trouble and pain will come! If we are in the wilderness at this moment, and it is freezing cold or drought, and we are hungry and thirsty, then now we are locked up in a room with a suitable temperature, a warm quilt, a comfortable bed, water at any time, a clean bathroom, and two meals a day. Order the delicious meals delivered to you, all you need to satisfy your needs. Also be grateful for everything you have now! Therefore, there are no absolutes in life, everything is created by the mind. Everyone sees the world differently because their standards, perspectives, expectations, and mentality are different. This is not what the world is like! Wealth and scarcity, gain and loss are just two sides of the same coin. Everything is just the feeling of the heart, nothing more! When you live in emptiness, your heart remains motionless, everything is just experience, just illusion, just permission, just flowing through, untainted and unattached, then you have entered the authenticity and eternity of life! After breakfast on the 10th, the staff announced the exit and handed out two pieces of paper. The lights turned on and ethereal and beautiful music played. I was no longer in a hurry to leave and immediately wrote down my true experience on two A4 pieces of paper. Seeing the sun again is like a new life! I haven’t washed my face, brushed my teeth, washed my hair or bathed for ten days, and haven’t changed my underwear. Haha, it turns out that I can live my life however I want! As long as there are no concepts, standards and requirements! After washing up in the hotel in the afternoon, Teacher Xianming treated everyone to hot pot. He took care of us warmly and considerately. It felt so close! After finishing the hot pot, we moved dozens of quilts and stuffed them into Teacher Xianming’s SUV. He drove the quilts from Chengdu to Dali alone (he said he was used to flying solo) to transport them to Dali and help us get to the residence of the Holy Master first. When I later learned that he had been driving for more than ten hours and only spent the night napping in the overcrowded car, I was filled with emotion and admiration. There was no label of identity or presupposition of how I should live, only space. There is no way to live according to what comes, this kind of reality and agility makes me moved!

It was my first time to come to Chengdu, and I had just left the customs. I couldn’t bear the loneliness. Zhou Qing and I hit it off. We both came from insect songs and had the same language. The two of us decided to run to Jinli, an old street in Chengdu, to play! We bought all kinds of snacks like crazy, went to a folk bar and sang two songs each, leaving no regrets! It was past twelve o'clock when we returned to the hotel. We were so happy that we tasted the hot local delicacies of lamb soup and pig's trotters at a roadside stall, haha!

? Become a Master 1.12–1.22 Dali

On the afternoon of January 12, I took a two-day bus from Chengdu to Dali, and stayed in a hotel for one night on the way on the 11th. When I first arrived at Yuanyang Academy in Cangshan, Dali, which will be the base of the Master Class for the next ten days, I felt it was quite crude and a little bit disappointed. It was different from what I expected. Adjust your mentality immediately and settle down as you come. The teacher must have his reasons for choosing this place. It was extremely cold when we first arrived. It was said to be the coldest day in the history of Dali. We all went down the mountain to buy thick clothes. After buying it, we got together again. Brother Ping An invited a group of us women to drink at the most professional band bar in Dali. For the first time, I felt that this old handsome guy was not as arrogant as I thought, and he was quite approachable! Ha ha!

? After breakfast the next day, everyone gathered in the tea hall. The teacher played "Selfie Conditioning Techniques" for everyone. Sister Yang had a self-euphoric emotional state and couldn't stop, so she was carried to the room. calm. The sun came out, and everyone set up a massage table in the yard, patting each other on the head or each other. I am a complete novice. I have never photographed anyone before coming here, nor have I ever been photographed. I took selfies for half an hour, then I lay down and asked Wang Ying to take a round of pictures for me. She took the pictures perfectly, one by one, and I felt quite comfortable. I knew she was taking the pictures very seriously. Next, I lay lazily on the bed facing the blue sky. After listening to "Selfie" for the second time, I seemed to have fallen asleep. It was quite comfortable! In the evening, after being patted on the head for a while in the teahouse, I patted Rongrong next to me. This was my first time photographing someone, and I didn’t understand what it meant to be empty-handed and how to let go of my hands! I repeatedly communicated with Rongrong and gave feedback to confirm my feelings, and I finally found a feeling!

? The next day, I made an appointment with team leader Xiaofang to pat my belly. When I patted my belly, I found that continuous patting was uncomfortable, it was difficult to burp, and my intestines spasmed. It would be more comfortable and effective to cooperate with massage. . I was about to take the photo of Xiaofang, but I didn’t know how to start. At this time, I just watched Xianer take a photo of someone in our group. I was so shocked that I shed tears. The combination of hardness and softness, flowing water, and flowing water. I immediately felt the elegance and agility of total immersion! I just calmed down my mind, closed my eyes, and felt the movement, agility and autonomy. Xiaofang actually shed tears and said that her emotions were brought out. When the abdomen was patted, she was so relaxed that she fell asleep. After this round, I gained confidence! Shufang had a wave of emotions when she was being photographed by the little fairy. I was also moved to tears. Later, I rubbed her belly and she greatly recognized the feeling of comfort and relaxation. In this way, I spent a few days observing other people's shots, consciously asking good patters to take pictures for me to experience my feelings, and then take pictures for them and ask for feedback.

I am grateful to every teacher I have met, we have made each other happy! Slowly, in fact, I quickly became more and more proficient and comfortable. As long as I don’t think about it and just put myself into it, it’s really all right! This is what is called not teaching techniques, only teaching the mind!

? I don’t know if it’s God’s love for us or the weather in Dali should be so good! The sun has been shining brightly and warmly like spring for ten consecutive days. When I got up in the morning, I walked up to the platform and looked at the vast blue Erhai Lake. The sun was rising slowly. Then I looked back at Cangshan Mountain, where I felt sleepy. After a while, the sun shone on the majesty of Jinshan Mountain! Set up a massage table in the green and lively courtyard of the academy to start a day of practice! Two meals a day feel very appetizing and delicious! At night, lighting candles and playing Melody in the quaint little building has a unique flavor! Falling in love with this place more and more! What a geomantic treasure! It was so peaceful and comfortable, I really didn’t want to leave!

The highlight of course was when Teacher Xianming took his turn to accompany our group. During the day, the teacher took pictures of us one by one. When taking pictures, the teacher was fully engaged and carefully felt where each partner's body needed more. The methods of cleaning and healing are endless and disorganized. Some friends cry, but I am often the one who is made to cry. I have inexplicable emotional reactions. What impressed me most was that when Xiao Chang was the last one to be photographed, his chest was bulging hard. The teacher laughed and said, "There is a lot of useful information. It must have been accumulated for twenty years." and asked him if he wanted to clean it up. Xiao Chang held back the pain from the beginning, and with our collective encouragement, he started shouting, even getting excited. The teacher also patted and shouted with him. Xiao Chang's shouts were drowned out one after another, and he kicked his feet high. In the air, after venting like this, his chest really slowly deflated, became soft, and his face turned rosy. The teacher was almost exhausted after doing it! Let him lie alone for a while in peace! While I was watching from the side, I couldn't help but shed a few tears. This man, who looks gentle, cold and strong, has so much grievance, pain and depression inside. I also thought of my husband. A man doesn't shed tears easily. Does he also hide as much information as Xiao Chang? Is it also because of me? Haha, I am still very good at introspection! During the evening assessment, each person patted the teacher for more than ten minutes. The teacher’s comment to me was, “You are a state-type clapping person, not bad! You just have some self-power!” Yes, there may be some skills that are not good enough. , it will also bring a little thinking and a little self-expression, but it is not completely relaxed and soft! I have confidence and a direction!

In the next few days, I tasted the highs and lows. I felt particularly good when I took the photo for Brother Ping An that day. I felt that I was flowing smoothly and unrestrained. Brother Ping An also highly recognized and encouraged me. I asked him for his opinion. At that time, he said, were you a little anxious? Next, after I finished my experience, Sister Qiao Hong patted me, and I patted her. She quickly called a timeout and asked me if I was in a hurry in my life. He taught me not to be in a hurry to shoot, but to not let go with the feeling of being connected to the other person. The next day, when I was taking pictures of Xiaomei, I also received the feedback message that I was "a little anxious". I began to feel less confident and had self-doubt. In the evening, I asked to take another photo of Brother Ping An. I already felt clearly that I I was afraid of my hands and feet and couldn't do it. Brother Ping An also said that the shooting was indeed not as good as yesterday. I was still asking Senior Brother Wang Bing next to me how to take pictures. Extremely irritating! But I know that in the process of correction and improvement, this is a normal phenomenon, and I will definitely overcome it. When Zhou Qing was photographing me the next afternoon, I saw that she had the same problem as me. When I photographed her in turn, I completely slowed down and let go of all my power of expression. To blend into her body. Only when you have experienced highs and lows, and experienced gains and losses, can you find a normal mind! I no longer care about whether my shots are good or not, because I have fully realized that every shot will be different, it is all about the current state and the heart! On the last day of the random assessment, I wanted to playfully say to the teacher, "Teacher, no matter if I take the photo well or not, you have to say I'm good! Confidence is the best gift!" I thought it was too pretentious, so just go ahead! I didn’t expect the teacher’s evaluation to be above the intermediate level, but I’m still very happy!

Regarding zhanzhuang, apart from standing for a short while in the solitary room (without feeling anything), it was also the first time that I experienced the feeling of my body shaking automatically when I was free. After taking a group selfie that day, Xian'er said, "As soon as you put your body there, don't worry about it anymore!" It was just like that, the body shook back and forth involuntarily, it was wonderful and light! The next day, after my friends had had their fill of fun playing dynamic music in the morning, I went to the bathroom, and as soon as I closed my eyes on the toilet, my entire upper body began to rotate involuntarily. Every day from now on, as long as I close my eyes at any time, I will feel my body start to shake. It's really amazing!

? On the first night of meditation in Dali, I asked the teacher a question, "Teacher, I hope that I am a person full of love and compassion, who can treat and tolerate all things equally, but I I often treat people with a discriminating and arrogant attitude, and I may not be interested in actively communicating with them.” I remember the teacher’s clearest answer to me was, “I also have a discriminating attitude!” I have forgotten the others, maybe this is what I want to hear, to make myself safe.

Later, Brother Ping An took the initiative to share with me that when discrimination arises, he is no longer in sleep. Just bring him back to sleep and it will be fine! Maybe I have to keep practicing. Cultivation is a lifelong thing. I believe that I will get better and better. That’s enough! In the following days, I realized more and more that everyone around me was my teacher. Sister Yang returned from being crazy to peace, tranquility, and courtesy. My uncle and son accepted their fate tenaciously and calmly, and lived their lives bravely. , grandma’s open-mindedness and optimism, her passion for life when she is still old and learning, the old couple’s mutual support, the self-improvement of Xiao Wang and sister Cui who has scleroderma, the great enlightenment of the little fairy, etc., etc., every life deserves my respect and admiration. !

? Relived the life in the collective dormitory again, discussions, sharing, and understanding happened all the time! It was past 12 o'clock at night, and Shufang and I were still hiding in bed and whispering. Qingru shouted, "It's time to sleep!" We both apologized and laughed and fell asleep.

? Thanks to the teacher, thanks to Xianer and Xiaomei for their wholehearted companionship and dedication! Thank you for meeting every partner, so much touching and so much joy! Together we make this extraordinary journey of life possible!

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