there are different winds in ten miles, and customs vary greatly from place to place. Roughly in the morning, the man went to the woman's house with gift money and gifts. Have lunch at the woman's house and take her back to the man's house in the afternoon. Marriage customs in Suzhou

It's a great event in life that men should be married and women should be married. In the past, under the influence of "men and women don't kiss each other", young men and women can't fall in love freely, and marriage can only be done at the behest of their parents and by the words of the media. Marriage customs are complicated and complicated with many feudal superstitions. The general marriage procedures and customs are as follows:

1. Proposing marriage

That is, the man entrusts the matchmaker to propose marriage to the woman's house. If the woman agrees to propose marriage, the man will go to the woman's house to propose marriage, commonly known as "matchmaking". In the old days, "door to door" and "choose by fate" were emphasized, and there was a folk song of "door to door, door to door, gaping at the fence". Generally speaking, when a man entrusts a matchmaker to propose marriage, he first makes a comprehensive consideration of his identity, land, property and his children's situation, and whether it matches the situation of the woman's family, that is to say, the conditions of both parties are similar. However, there are also matchmakers who are heavily honored and cheated. If the woman's parents are interested, they will ask someone to inquire about the man's situation. If they think that the portal is quite the same, both men and women will do their own Geng stickers. Geng stickers are made of red paper, with the names, ages, three generations, places of origin, commonly known as "four Geng stickers" written on them, and then the two sides will exchange them.

second, ask the name

commonly known as begging for eight characters. According to the year, month, day and hour of each person's birthday, the "eight characters" are matched with the words "heavenly stem" and "earthly branch", and the four items * * * have eight characters, so they are called "eight characters". Superstitious people think that according to birthdates, a person's fate can be calculated, and everyone belongs to one of the five elements, such as golden destiny, wooden destiny, water destiny, fire of life destiny, earth destiny, etc., and no one who is compatible with the five elements can get married.

The matchmaker first posts the man to the woman's house, writes the woman's birthdates and the bride price on the back of the man's post, and the matchmaker brings it to the man, who asks the husband to "combine Xiao" and divines good and bad luck. If the man and the woman are not lucky in their Chinese characters, the parents of both parties agree to engage in betrothal. Of course, there are other sayings, such as "a female freshman can't make an appointment", "a wife is a sophomore" and "a wife is a junior with a golden brick".

III. Posting change

After the marriage between men and women is decided, a posting change should be held, and the date of posting change should be chosen as an auspicious day. The male and female advance matchmakers proposed to the woman. The man put the betrothal money and the groom's note into a small box, wrapped the box with red cloth or HongLing, and sent it to the woman's home together with the bride price (including coins, clothes and food) by the matchmaker. After the bride's family receives the betrothal money, the bride price and the man's Geng stickers, the woman puts the Geng stickers in the original box and sends them back to the man's family together with the clothes, dowry and happy fruit. This procedure is called changing the stickers.

Fourth, give a big gift

This is the etiquette for the man to send the betrothal gift to the woman's house after the marriage contract is concluded. The engagement that has been given a bride price is officially effective. In the old days, men usually gave their women 1-2 pieces of foreign currency, clothes, bracelets, rings and other gifts. Before getting married, you should also "carry food baskets" (a shelf made of three rectangular boards), and at least three food baskets with rice, dried noodles, steamed bread, pork, etc. piled on them should be sent and carried to the woman's house by several people.

V. Wedding preparation

Before you get married, you should choose the wedding day, and choose two dates, such as the fourth day of April, August 28th, or the auspicious day of March, June and September. After the election, the man's family prepares gifts and materials, and the red Cambodia stickers indicate the wedding date and ask the matchmaker to hand it over to the woman's family to inform relatives and friends of the wedding date. And began to clean up the courtyard, paint and decorate the new house. Happy pictures are hung in the new house, including Kirin's gift and Wuzi's admission to the subject. Window grilles, there are often magpies, Yuanyang playing in the water, flying swallows, and lotus seeds. Wedding couplets and red "hi" are posted all over the house. Hi-Lian often uses the words "get together for a hundred years", "grow old together", "blossom side by side", "unite as one" and "Yishi IKEA". After receiving the man's red Cambodia stickers, the women's family began to buy dowry, welcome their families and invite men and women to return guests. The elders of the family invited the married girl to eat "leaving the mother's face".

VI. Marrying

On the wedding day, both parties have the taboo of "aunt doesn't take it, aunt doesn't send it", and both parties are not allowed to entrust a widowed, second-married person or a person who belongs to the bride and groom. It was wedding date, a man's family. The front and back of the house, the courtyard and the outside of the courtyard were all splashed with clean water, and they were spotless. A red light was hung in front of the door, and in the yard, under the eaves of the house, there were all kinds of happiness, clothes and quilts sent by relatives and friends, showing a warm and happy scene everywhere. When you get married, firecrackers are set off, umbrellas are lit with red lights, and gongs and drums are loud. Conditional also please honor guard, suona accompaniment. In front of the woman's house, the woman deliberately "shut the door" to the man in advance, and opened the door to meet him after the man stuffed the "door-crossing ceremony" through the door. Then lead them to the room for refreshments and "getting off the horse's face".

The bride opens her face before getting on the sedan chair, that is, wrings the hair off her face with thread. After dressing, say goodbye to your relatives, then cover your face with a red scarf, sew dates, peanuts and copper coins on the four corners of the red scarf (that is, the luck of having a baby early), and hang a mirror on your chest to "avoid" the evil light. In the wedding song, the elder brother carries the sedan chair, and a younger brother or a younger generation follows the sedan chair, which is called "the sedan chair child". When starting from the woman's house, the groom rides in front, and the man accompanies the guest and the man marries the guest to the north horse. The bride's elder or two male relatives of the same age follow the groom's sedan chair, hand the sedan chair and escort the dowry, commonly known as "seeing the guests off". The female escort rides a horse or car behind the sedan chair.

In the past, there was a custom in some places in Shijiazhuang, where daughters cried a few times before getting on the sedan chair to show that they were inseparable. Legend has it that a long time ago, there were two girls who lived together and lived a hard life. The mother wove and the daughter spun, and they worked hard and slowly, but they still ate the last meal without the next meal. Mother watched her daughter grow up day by day, and she was more anxious. She had to find a husband's family for her daughter. So the mother entrusted the matchmaker to tell her daughter about her husband's family and set an auspicious day for her wedding. Seeing that the happy day is getting closer every day, NianLia's sorrow is getting deeper every day. When the man's sedan chair came to the door, the daughter looked at Niang's white hair and gaunt face and thought of how she would live without her. Didn't she starve to death? Thought of here hold niang's head and burst into tears. This cry touched a passing fairy. Seeing that the two women were crying so pitifully, they moved their hearts. They pointed to the tears on the girl's face, which turned into bright golden beans in Jin Guangcan. When the girl saw that there were so many golden beans, enough for her to eat for the rest of her life, she happily dressed up in a sedan chair. Since then, all girls have been reluctant to get on the sedan chair, and they really can't drag on, so they hug their mother and cry a few times. Even if there are no tears, they have to squeeze out a few tears so that Golden Beans can feed her. Over the years, the custom of "a daughter leaves her mother and cries bitterly" has been formed, and it has been passed down to this day.

when the bride marries back, she must go around the village and cross villages. She is not allowed to go the same way, which means she will not go back. The sound of firecrackers and suona kept playing all the way, which was very lively. When the sedan chair stops at the door, the groom dismounts and kowtows to the sedan chair three times, which means he worships the sedan chair god. The bride was helped out of the sedan chair by the bridesmaid. After the bride walks in, she crosses the brazier first. It symbolizes that the days after marriage are "hot and explosive". Then step on the red carpet and get married in nave. At this time, a respected person invited in advance will be the best man (master of ceremonies) and preside over the wedding ceremony.

This is the best man who sings before leaving work: "Best man, two steps and one foot, dragon, phoenix and mandarin duck, a harmonious pair." Then I read happy songs, and the lyrics are all auspicious words, such as "Luan Feng He Ming", "Flowers are full of moons", "When the bridal chamber is ablaze with red flowers, there is a golden bucket for the dragon brand at home", "Colored silk hangs on the door of Xiangfu, and darling daughter matches the prince" and so on. Then sing in turn: the bride and groom worship heaven and earth; Second, worship Gaotang (parents); Worship ancestors three times; Four worships of Cai Lang; Worship the land; Six worships of Chunxuan; Seven visits to relatives and friends; Husband and wife, bye. After the bride and groom have made eight obeisances, they will have a drink for a change. I heard the best man sing again: "Let's make a toast for reconciliation, and the husband and wife will grow old together. Look at the groom-the first golden flower is auspicious, wearing a landscape embroidered mandarin duck: black boots with a white background and red flowers lining, and he is so cool. Look at the bride-colorful rockhopper inlaid with beautiful things, purple with a gown flying east. HongLing covers the eyebrows and almond eyes, and the lotus flowers hide under the skirt. In front of the couple's hall, the flowers and candles are bright, and a pair of mandarin ducks are skillfully paired. Then the music class plays the song of dragons and phoenixes. In the music, the bridesmaid sings auspicious songs: "The mountains and rivers will always set each other off, and the laughter in the room will tell the heart; The flowers stand on the ground, and the auspicious stars shine high at four o'clock. "By the time the best man finished singing, all of you were laughing your heads off, which made people deeply feel that the marriage custom was full of interest and was kind and funny.

At this time, the man's family sent sacks to spread on the ground last time, so that the bride could walk on the street, each carrying on the family line, so as to lead the bride into the bridal chamber. Before entering the bridal chamber, the groom held a bow and arrow, and fired three arrows into the bridal chamber through the bride's head to drive away evil. In other places, grass festivals are celebrated on the bride's head. At this time, the best man sings: "Go into the bridal chamber and hold your head up, and Kirin will send a child to catch up with you" and "A handful of chestnuts and dates, and the girl and boy will run all over the floor".

Before entering the bridal chamber, a woman with both parents and a living husband must be invited to place bedding for the bride and groom in the new house. And sprinkle a handful of five-color grain under the mattress to catch a bumper harvest of good luck. There are a few red dates under the bed, which means that early (jujube) gives birth to your son. There are a few peanuts under the pillow, which means that boys and girls have "flowers" with "health". When the bride entered the bridal chamber, the groom uncovered the bride's "hijab" and the neighbors began to "make trouble in the bridal chamber". The custom of making trouble in the bridal chamber has a long history. Every household thinks that the more people come to their home to make trouble in the bridal chamber, the better, and the more people show their dignity and glory. As the saying goes, "A bride is not big or small for three days". On this day, both men, women and children can enter the room to "see the new wife" and tease the bride, regardless of the meat and vegetables. The intention is to try to turn the shy yellow flower girl into a generous wife. At night, there are people lurking in the window of the bridal chamber to eavesdrop on the bride and groom's private conversation, commonly known as "listening to the room." If it is rainy or snowy, my mother will gently lean a broom under the window to complete the ceremony of "listening to the room".

On this day, when the man comes back from the wedding, he will not only entertain his relatives and friends, but also warmly entertain the women's visitors and display the dowry, that is, the woman's elder representative will sing and show the gifts given by relatives and friends one by one and deliver them to the man's representative for acceptance, which is commonly known as "setting the table". At this time, sons and nephews who have good deeds discredit the face of the groom's mother or aunt and sister-in-law for fun.