Now I don't even want to set the password of the bank card. It's tiring to think about protecting two-digit deposits with six figures.
I hope that when the results come out, I will feel guilty and feel that I don't deserve such a high score.
I finally understand the gap between me and Xueba. She is lying on the table in a bad mood. Two minutes later, she suddenly stood up and began to do her homework. I was in a bad mood and fell asleep two minutes later.
Time will make you understand that you can't wait for anything except take-away, bus and express delivery.
God, if you can't make me thin, make my friend fat! Tell jokes for fun.
7. I don't know how others turn pressure into motivation. Anyway, I will only turn stress into appetite.
8. Just a week after I went to work, my colleague Li Ge came to ask me if I was married. I said, I don't have a girlfriend yet! He said in a friendly way, then you must tell me when you get married, and I will give you 1000 yuan. My affection for him exploded instantly, and I replied, then you must tell me when you get married. As a result, the next day, I received his wedding invitation.
9. Just now, a mosquito got the last applause in my life.
10. Wow, I'm so angry today. A stranger asked me where I was going. I said it was none of your business, and then he kicked me out of the taxi.
1 1. Don't use a honey trap on me, or I will cooperate with you.
12. Isn't the school divided into classes again? Teachers all want their students to get good grades. Two class teachers actually got into a fight because of me, arguing while fighting: why should he be assigned to our class and affect our average score!
13. I don't need everyone to be happy. I live to make people who hate me more and more unhappy.
14. I have a crush on a girl, but I always write her name when shopping online. Every time the courier calls her, I will say: My wife is out, just give it to me!
15. The university you want to go to and the person you like must be the last one to go.
16. In the morning, my daughter-in-law and I had a quarrel. My daughter-in-law ignored me with anger. It's almost noon. I was so hungry that I wrote a note to my dog to take to my wife. After a long silence, I went to the living room to have a look. I saw my wife feeding the dog sausages. She said, "I know you are hungry. "Eat more.
17. Books are rarely used, and there is not enough money to spend by the end of the month.
18. Whenever my parents tell me to concentrate on my studies and not to be with anyone, I feel helpless: What can I do? There are so many people chasing me.
19. No matter how disappointing the world is, some things must be adhered to. My principles and bottom line can be summarized in four words. What four words? You can't be hungry!
I have liked a girl in my class for a long time, and I finally have the courage to confess to her. I tried to tell her: I like a girl in my class. She is gentle and considerate, beautiful and lovely. Do you want to know who it is? She blushed instantly, bowed her head and said shyly, as long as it's not me!
2 1. I went to the hospital today. The doctor said that my blood sugar was low and I needed to say something sweet.
22. I helped my friend a little. He said, thank you. I'll treat you to dinner another day! I waved and said, you're welcome. You have spent a lot recently. Save it. It would be better if I invited you. I don't want him to take out his cell phone and say, when? I'm going to make a memo so that I can be prepared. Shit, don't play cards according to the routine ~
23. You look handsome when you smoke, but you will die young.
In order to improve my listening, I said to my roommate last week: Let's communicate in English in the future, and whoever violates the rules will be invited to dinner. My roommate agreed and said, OK, that's what I thought. After that day, we hardly talked.
Say sentences interestingly.
If you never leave, I will still treat you as before.
Second, you are like a love song that sings hoarse preferences.
Third, the best thing about my sister is that she can be a gangster and a writer without relying on alcohol and tobacco.
Fourth, when you want to scold me, scold as much as you want, don't wait for me to wake up.
I believe you won't leave when you come. If you leave, I will pretend that you have never lived in the future.
Six, no flowers, no tree height, I am an unknown single dog.
Seven, once naive, cruel reality, let me know: the hypocrisy of the world, people's indifference!
Eight, I was also an infatuated seed, and I drowned in the rain.
Nine, a buddy's daughter-in-law gave birth to a child in the hospital. He waited anxiously outside the door. An hour later, the nurse came out and said happily to him: XXX, congratulations, it's dad, you're going to be a son! My buddy shouted excitedly at that time: hahaha, I am finally a son! ! !
In this summer, only mosquitoes will never leave me.
I want to hold it in the palm of my hand, but it still flows through your fingers.
The biggest pain in life is that after a super storm, you not only didn't see the rainbow, but also caught a cold.
13. Fu Yanjie can't control your side leakage. You can try to see if the internal pipe doesn't work.
Fourteen, this damn weather, if you have anything you want to eat, take it out and dry it.
Fifteen, I don't want to, I don't want to, I don't want to go to work, I just want to, I just want to sleep and get paid to eat a big meal.
I want to steal your keys and go to your house every day to please your parents.
17. Go to the toilet with your classmates. The students said: I have been angry recently, and I urinate like Fanta. I said: I am more angry than you. I pee like a fruit orange. My classmate said: then you are great. Do I have to shake it before I pee?
Which is more important, food or figure? Eat food: What's your figure? Can I eat?
I just want to do four things with you, three meals a day.
Twenty, once the class teacher asked for a long vacation, the substitute teacher said that the class teacher was hit by a car and fractured. So, the monitor asked the whole class to pay for a wheelchair for the teacher. I don't have enough money, and I seem to have bought a used car. Several class cadres carried wheelchairs to the teacher's house, knocked on the door, and then saw the class teacher come out to open the door with a plaster in his hand.
Twenty-one, dreams still have to be there, or one day you will talk to people if you drink too much.
Twenty-two, the math teacher and the physical education teacher in senior three are husband and wife. Once in the last math class in the afternoon, the math teacher was doing a problem and suddenly got stuck. Just as he was embarrassed, the PE teacher passed by the classroom, and the math teacher immediately stopped him and said in a very wronged voice, Honey, I can't do this problem. The PE teacher immediately came in and patted the math teacher on the head: you little fool. Then I picked up the chalk and solved it for a while. I said to the math teacher, wife, hurry up and go home from class. I'm hungry. The math teacher immediately packed up, and the couple went out, leaving us alone. . .
As an angel, I shouldn't hide my wings.
Twenty-four, if the heart is torn off by others, it will really die.
Twenty-five, Xiangyang: Some people say that insomnia is because you are busy in other people's dreams.
26. A reporter interviewed on the street: Auntie, what do you think the smog has brought to your life? Aunt: The impact is too great! First of all, you must see clearly that I am your uncle!
Twenty-seven, single for a long time, today by bus, a girl rubbed my shoulder, I even thought about where our children go to school.
Twenty-eight, I will try to save money! Try to buy an ATM!
Twenty-nine, no matter how tired and bitter, think of yourself as 250, no matter how difficult, think of yourself as a two-faced person.
Thirty years old, I still can't get rid of eating after all. I love to eat, love to eat, love to eat, I am proud of eating!
3 1. Looks are not important, but looks are not good.
In an examination room, the invigilator was very strict and saw a white corner behind me. The teacher said, haha, let me catch it. Say that finish fiercely took out my menstrual towel, suddenly there was no sound.
How dare you bite the bullet and come to see me after doing such a thing! Then tell me, what should I do to see you?
Behind every successful man, there will be a woman who is full and has nothing to do.
35. Men fantasize about me and I fantasize about heaven.
36. Since the clock was installed at the back of the classroom, our turn-back rate has improved.
Why do fools call themselves foodies?
Children are happy when they are sad, but we adults can't We need to have a good meal or buy something.
Talk about fun and fun.
1. If my life is a movie, you are a pop-up advertisement.
2. If I am not at home, I will be in the Internet cafe; If I'm not in the Internet cafe, I'm on my way to the Internet cafe!
Love is a road, friends are pigs, and there is only one road for people, but there are many pigs on the road.
I want to be a lovebird in the sky and a pig on the ground.
If you were a flower, cows wouldn't dare to shit in the future.
I usually forget to scold you. I didn't know I was both civil and military until I hit you.
7. Eat tofu with meat, and eat meat with tofu; Only when there is no tofu and meat will you miss someone.
8. Dare to scold me for buying instant noodles without seasoning packets? I curse you for buying instant noodles with only seasoning packets!
9. The price of graves has risen so fast that I can't afford to die.
10, finally got up the courage to send her a short message to express her confession. Three minutes later, the class teacher called: Son, this is no joke.
She is as aggressive in bed as she is under the bed!
12, she said: I want to play with feelings, not your organs!
13, Xtep goes down every day, unhappy every day, not studying well, down every day, invincible every day, no one can beat.
14, we always have endless work, endless tests, endless grievances, endless fat, endless shit and endless SB. Because of this, it is called life.
15, donated blood in the school square, 200CC gave a pair of manicure equipment, 400CC gave a watch. A MM in the next class felt very happy when she heard about it. She ran to the nurse and asked: What is 1000CC for? The nurse said quietly, send a coffin.
16, my relationship with my wife is like the high-speed rail and the Ministry of Railways. She exists to build your future. No, if I cheat, she will dare to bury me.
17. Is life easy in Guangzhou? Monday 30C, Tuesday 25C, Wednesday 19C, Thursday 17C, Friday 12C, Saturday 8C and Sunday 4C. What if we finish spring, summer, autumn and winter in one week? So if you find that your friend in Guangzhou suddenly has no news, then he may be: 1, freezing to death; 2, hot to death; 3. Exhausted by alternating hot and cold.
18, you are not a VIp, not even a V, you are just a P.
19, your complex facial features can't hide your simple IQ.
20, on a whim, take your photo as a desktop, TMD actually got a computer virus.
An interesting and funny conversation about mood phrases.
1, you are showing off in an ostentatious manner with your sisters. Do you believe me?
2. My sister gave birth to a washing machine. Dude, you can just throw it away.
3. Spend money at school and time at work.
If a man doesn't help you put on the wedding dress, you can give him a cassock.
I took a fancy to you because I was out of my mind, and now my brain is shaking dry.
6. People who can't lose weight are always in turmoil, and people who can't eat fat are fearless.
7. Your appearance is inaccurate and the proportion is not good.
8. I have a heart to lose weight, but I live a life of eating goods.
9, clothes, it has two washing methods, washing yourself and washing others.
10, who says I don't know anything? Let Shi and Dong Shi stand in front of me and have a try.
1 1. Have the ability to study atomic bombs, but have no ability to study tea eggs.
12. Save water and try to take a bath with your girlfriend.
13, don't do anything wrong and pour all the dirty water on yourself. I have to save it for flushing the toilet.
14, I am arrogant and petty, so you can't afford to be hurt.
15, don't tell me to grow old together, I want to have black hair forever.
On the train, a white woman and a black woman are nursing their baby. Mom, mom, the white baby is not spoiled, and I want to drink chocolate milk, too.
17, you are the first song in my heart, which always makes me thrilling.
18, if one day I become a pervert, please don't forget that I am innocent.
19. How many children have been hurt by exams, and how many honest children have learned to cheat?
20, phoenix rebirth is nirvana, pheasant rebirth is corpse change.
2 1, I just found out that the way to attract a man is to make him never get it; The way to attract a woman is just the opposite, and that is to satisfy her.
22. If the water is clear, there will be no fish. If this man is cheap, he will be invincible.
23, who is whose husband, are fucking temporary workers.