1

The year 1999 was an important turning point in my life. During the Spring Festival of 1999, I went back to my hometown to visit my grandfather. When I went back, my grandpa was sitting on the kang, looking at me with a dull expression. He was not as happy as he was when he saw me in the past, nor was he laughing and saying, "My Maiwazi is back!" I looked at my grandpa with a kind of sadness. And an unknown omen came to mind. However, I don't want to think about it. I hope grandpa is just in poor health.

After staying at Sanba’s house for a few days, I want to return to the mine. I couldn't bear to leave my grandpa so much, so I said to him, "Grandpa, I'm leaving. Will you come with me?" Grandpa looked at me with dull eyes, grabbed my hand and said, "Take me up and walk with you. I want to see your mother, Broken Egg, Cow Egg." From then on, he held my hand and refused to let go. The third father was worried that grandpa was not in good health and might be in danger when traveling far away. Grandpa lowered his head and looked at the ground, took my hand and walked out the door. I took my grandpa and walked the five-mile mountain road, and then took the car to the mine. Along the way, grandpa looked out of the car window with infinite yearning on his face.

At this time, Grandpa was different from before: he would never laugh with his mouth open again; he would never again take advantage of me not paying attention and flick my head with his fingers and lie about flying here. He hit me on the head with a few stones; he would never fight with me again, and the fight was inseparable... Grandpa had almost no words and no smile. He seemed sleepy all the time.

When we arrived at the mine, my mother prepared delicious food for my grandfather to eat, and my father played Qin Opera on the VCD for my grandfather to listen to. During the Chinese New Year, the mine club performed Qin Opera, and our sisters accompanied my grandfather to watch the Qin Opera. , Grandpa held his cigarette holder and watched carefully. Grandpa did not tell us about the play while watching the play as usual, nor did he comment on the actors' singing and acting. He just watched and rarely spoke.

After staying with my grandpa for a few days, I had to go out to work. I bid farewell to my grandpa. He sat on the sofa and ate a cigarette, holding my hand with a smile on his face. He spoke very little.

In those years, when red scarves were in fashion, I would wrap my red scarf around my grandfather’s neck and do all kinds of funny moves to make him laugh. I would also use my point-and-shoot camera to save my grandfather’s memory. A lasting memory.

A few days later, I left my grandpa to go out to work. When I left, my grandpa was hunched over and looked at me without stopping me. Grandpa knew that the children were getting older and were going out to "run their own futures." . Even though, from my grandfather's eyes, I could read a lot of his reluctance and nostalgia, I still left my grandfather cruelly. My heart is filled with worry and hope.

A few days after I left, my grandfather fell ill and was sent to the hospital for examination. He was diagnosed with "myocardial infarction" for the first time. For as long as I can remember, my grandfather has been ill and suffered from heart and stomach aches all the time. When his stomach hurts, grandpa's heart beats violently and his mouth turns purple. Grandpa lies quietly, taking painkillers that cost a penny each, covering his heart and letting out a slight moan from time to time. Whenever this happens, I was very scared, afraid that grandpa’s slightly closed eyes would never open again, afraid that grandpa would no longer breathe. I sat next to grandpa, not daring to blink, and carefully touched grandpa’s hot arm with my little hand, hoping that I could Share some of Grandpa's illness.

　 2

The thin grandfather can turn danger into good luck every time and slowly recover. It's just that my grandfather started to gasp for breath when he walked uphill, which made me feel very distressed. After I was 6 or 7 years old, every time I walked with my grandfather, I would use all my strength, lean my body with my butt stuck out, hold my grandfather's hand, and drag him up the hillside. In this way, grandpa was still panting. After walking for a while on the mountain road, he had to squat on the edge of the cliff to rest. After the breath becomes more stable, you will light a pot of dry smoke and take a few puffs slowly and enjoyably. I saw that my grandfather was very majestic squatting on the edge of the cliff, so I followed his example, squatting next to him, lowering my head, playing with the flowers and plants on the ground, and picking wild strawberry and dandelion stems to eat. Grandpa finished smoking a pot of cigarettes, knocked the ashes on the rocks on the edge of the cliff, lifted his collar, stood up slowly with a hunched body, coughed, and imitated Sun Wukong's tone and said: Hey, children, let's get on the road. Got it! I imitated Sun Monkey, jumped up suddenly, stretched out my "ape arms", and pulled Grandpa forward.

Unexpectedly, I squatted for too long and stood up too hard. My vision went dark, I lost my balance, and I fell upside down into the soft soil at the foot of the cliff.

Fortunately, my grandfather taught me how to pull tendons, do somersaults, do splits, and bend over since I was a child. My body is relatively flexible and light. When I fell down, I subconsciously used my hands to support the ground, rolled over, and lay down. In the ground, unscathed.

The performance failed, the performance was a mess. When I quickly got up, I raised my head in shame and looked at my grandpa, I saw my grandpa with his mouth open and a few teeth missing, looking at me anxiously. When he saw me standing up, he immediately laughed so hard that he turned into a prawn. , all the laughter was flowing, and he didn’t forget to praise me a few words: My Maiwazi, like Sun Monkey, can fly in the clouds, but I have to be slower before taking off, hahaha... In the midst of grandpa’s laughter, I smiled and walked from the side road. He ran to Grandpa, took Grandpa's hand and continued on his way. Along the way, every time grandpa thought of my ridiculous appearance when I fell off the cliff, he couldn't help laughing. I pretended to be angry and scolded grandpa: "Grandpa, if you laugh at people again, I won't pull you up the slope." As if I wanted to give up my grandfather's hand, my grandfather quickly suppressed his laughter. However, I can still feel the trembling of my grandfather's arms, which is the power accumulated in his body by his smile.

　 3

After walking for a while, when we are almost on the ground, grandpa will say, you pulled grandpa’s hand so hard that it hurts. Go behind grandpa and push grandpa away. I walked around behind Grandpa and pushed Grandpa's butt with both hands. Grandpa said that it would be easier to push with my head. I obediently pushed my head against Grandpa's butt, but Grandpa stood still. As soon as I opened my mouth, I asked: Grandpa, why don't you move? As soon as the words came out, I heard an earth-shattering sound coming from behind my grandfather, and the breath went straight into my open mouth. Oops, I was fooled by my grandfather again. I rushed in front of my grandpa and was about to fight him. Grandpa held my hand with both hands, and we pulled back and forth. After all, I was small and weak, so I was always captured by grandpa every time.

I held Grandpa’s hand and walked forward in front of Grandpa again. After walking like this for a while, grandpa would say, "Maiwazi, grandpa's back is itchy. Use your little hands to scratch his back. It will make you feel better." After being praised by grandpa, I forgot about my previous experience of being deceived by grandpa. I happily ran behind grandpa and scratched his back. Grandpa raised his buttocks as if he was exerting force. I thought grandpa was tall and deliberately bent down to let him go. I wanted to scratch him to make him feel more comfortable, so I took advantage of the situation and stretched my arm to my grandfather's shoulder to scratch him. Grandpa turned around, looked at me, and smiled with his mouth open. I was shocked: this is what grandpa does when his conspiracy succeeds. . When I was about to run away, I heard a few crisp "boom boom" sounds. Grandpa was already laughing so hard that he sat on the ground and couldn't walk.

Every time, Grandpa was very proud and said: "Are the eggs that Grandpa beat delicious?"

　4

I was always deceived by my grandfather, and the way he deceived people was not very clever, and he kept repeating it, but I was fooled time and time again. Grandpa would point to the blue sky and say to me: "Look, dog, there's a big plane coming from the sky!" I couldn't see the plane, so I thought I was stupid and looked around. Grandpa would take the opportunity to take off my hat and hide it in the sky. In the lapel of his clothes. He also said, it’s over now, the wind has blown your hat away. I didn't believe it, so I yelled and crawled on top of him for a while, and then grandpa came to scratch my itch again. Grandpa and I rolled to the ground and got entangled together. In the end, I always found my hat. Grandpa would say that if the wind blows the hat into Grandpa’s arms, it’s weird! If I didn't wear a hat, grandpa would be surprised and say, "Oh, why did such a big bird fly in the sky?" As he said that, he pointed with his finger. I looked hard in the direction my grandpa pointed, but I couldn't see the big bird, but my forehead made a crisp sound. I knew clearly that it was my grandpa who flicked my head, but he refused to admit it. , it was said that the stone from the big bird's head fell down and hit me on the head. The reason was that I was stupid and the big bird was angry. I don’t know how many times I’ve been fooled like this. However, every time I get fooled, I forget about it. It's just like what grandpa said: one thing after another, nothing is the same.

　 6

Before I was fifteen years old, I would never be his opponent in a battle with my grandfather. Grandpa's hands and feet are flexible, and he also knows a few boxing skills. He will always resolve my fierce attacks into gentle breeze and drizzle, and teach me a lesson like a Japanese devil or an American big nose surrendering to the Eighth Route Army. He raised his hands and shouted: "Sorrow for mercy!" Grandpa! It ended with a happy smile. This is what grandpa looked like before he was 66 years old. In my eyes, grandpa is simply the embodiment of wisdom and strength, capable of almost anything.

After I reached the age of 16, I quickly grew taller and stronger, and my grandfather gradually became no longer my opponent. However, we both still have our own victories and defeats.

One summer vacation, I went home to see my grandpa. At that time, my grandma was still alive. During lunch break, after my grandparents and I played on the kang for a while, I fell asleep. Grandpa tickled me again and put his hot hands on my arms to enjoy the coolness. Grandpa's body is always hot, and he especially likes to put his hands on my cold arms. After a while, grandpa grabbed my thick leg again and lamented: This cow leg is so thick. Grandpa has been in poor health all his life, and he is particularly envious of people with good health. He has always worried about his children's meals so that they can grow up to be healthy. At this time, because the holiday is coming, I have to leave my grandparents, and I feel irritable. In addition, I have just started to grow. My originally thin body has suddenly grown a little fat, which I still can’t accept. When my grandfather said this, I don’t know where it came from. I got a bad breath, stood up, and fought with my grandpa. Grandpa grabbed my hands with his big hands and squeezed them until the flesh of my fingers stuck together. Grandpa had one arm, and I couldn't get close at all, so I flew up and kicked him, and Grandpa also used his feet to resolve it. After all, I was young and energetic, and Grandpa was unprepared. He only heard Grandpa: "Ah, ground, gasp" He took a breath of air, let go of my hand, hugged his toes, and said with a grin: This time I kicked grandpa's toes off. Grandpa has always coaxed me to get used to it, but I didn't take it seriously, thinking that grandpa was coaxing me. However, after a while, I saw that grandpa’s big toe was already red and swollen. Grandpa walked with a limp and tentatively, but he smiled and did not mean to blame me at all. I was like an unintentional person and did not feel the pain that grandpa suffered at all.

I went back to see my grandpa during the winter vacation. He greeted me with a smile. I saw that my grandpa was a little lame when walking. I asked him why. He said, "It's not because you kicked grandpa last time and it hurt all the time." When walking, it hurts so much that you have to carry your body and walk backwards. You stupid kid, grandpa will never dare to play with you again, you are too energetic. Sure enough, my grandfather never played wildly with me again. I have grown up, and I have to help my grandparents with work and visit relatives and friends. I no longer stick to my grandfather's side all the time.

Adults are pleased with the growth of their children. When children grow up, they become increasingly distant from their loved ones, until they completely disappear from each other's world. We all have premonitions about each other, but we don't want to believe that this time comes so quickly, so unexpectedly yet unavoidable.

Don’t grow up, that’s great. If you don’t grow up, you won’t leave your loved ones; if you don’t grow up, you won’t have many worldly troubles; if you don’t grow up, you won’t experience the joys and sorrows of weddings and funerals. However, I am an ordinary person with no extraordinary courage and strategy, and no means of earning money to support my relatives. I can only follow the footsteps of my predecessors, listen to the teachings of my parents, relatives and friends, close up my inner reluctance and worries, and on the road of life. Go forward in order. Most of the time, it has nothing to do with one's own inner struggles and feelings, just settling sadness and showing sunshine alone in the long river of fate. No one will ever discover the untouchable soft part hidden deep in my heart. Some sadness and pain, I buried him deeply. At a certain moment, when I was alone and savored it quietly, tears of sadness covered my slightly upturned lips.

Time makes people grow old in a hurry. I can't keep my grandpa. In the summer of 1999, on the first day of the fifth lunar month, my grandfather died of myocardial infarction at the age of 76. Desperate, I made a decision to get married and start a family. At that time, I was regretful and sad, thinking that I had nothing to care about in this world. My heart was as frozen as ice, numb and indifferent. I think as long as my parents are happy and others think it's appropriate, I can do whatever they want.

When my grandma and grandpa passed away one after another, I thought my sky had fallen. Living seems to have little meaning anymore. Half a year after my grandfather passed away, I suppressed my grief and got married quietly.

Time travels and never stops. Now, my daughter is 16 years old. Her innocence, liveliness and cuteness give me the greatest motivation to live hard. Looking at my aging parents, younger siblings, and growing children, I feel that life has many meanings.

Life is growing, losing, sad, happy, never stopping, and moving forward.

Life is a river. Like my Liuli River, it flows silently, sings with joy, sometimes sad, sometimes happy, sometimes winding or gentle, sometimes flooding or freezing, but it never stops having the courage to flow forward.

The lost life and all things that have gone away are not actually lost or gone, they have just changed into another way and are closely related to you in your life.