Jokes about positivity
Jokes about positivity. In real life, we can read more positive jokes, which can regulate our life and make us happier. The next step is for me to take you to understand in detail about the positive jokes.
1, a tycoon, every time you go out of the house are worried about theft, want to buy a wolf dog bolted to the door in front of the yard, but do not want to hire someone to feed the dog to waste money.
After researching for a long time, he finally got a method: every time before going out to change the wifi into no password, and then rest assured to go out.
Every time I come back, I can see a dozen people squatting in front of my house with their cell phones.
Nursery, not necessarily buy a dog, the Internet era, everywhere to break the traditional thinking.
2, someone burglary, just into the house, the hostess came back, he hid under the bed, or was found, then burst to resist arrest and escape, was arrested. The situation should be determined according to law, burglary, at least ten years.
Later, I found a law student who told him about the conviction and sentence for theft, robbery, and rape, and he changed his statement, saying that he wanted to commit rape, and he tried to commit rape, and he was sentenced to three years' imprisonment because he had nothing to do with the crime of rape.
Then later, this kid found a doctor of criminal law, who told him that he should say, when you want to rape, you find that the woman is so ugly that you run away, and then you can be found guilty of aborting the rape, and because there is no damage, you may be exempted from the criminal punishment.
Then he found a post-doctoral fellow in criminal law, who taught him this: he had a crush on the man of the house and wanted to rape him, but he didn't expect the woman to come back first.
Knowledge changes destiny - hooligans are not scary, just afraid of hooligans have culture!
3, really angry! Just now the old lady mistakenly joined a doctoral group.
Someone asked a question: a drop of water from a very high, very high place free fall down, smashed into the people will not be smashed? Or killed ?
The group was immediately lively, a variety of formulas, a variety of assumptions, a variety of resistance, gravity, acceleration calculations, a full discussion for nearly an hour .
At this point, I silently asked: you have not been in the rain? The group was suddenly dead silent .... Then, then I was kicked out of the group.
The culture is terrible!
Knowledge can give you more ways to think, but experience can make you solve problems faster.
4, the year of the college entrance examination, I took 200 points, and mom's friend's child took 680 points, the child went to a major university, and I can only go to work.
Nine years later, the kid's mom bragged to me and my mom that his son had applied for another project manager who earns more than 10,000 a month ......
And I, on the other hand, wondered: should I hire him. But you, definitely, can't afford not to hustle!
5. A wife wanted her husband to come home early, so she made it a rule to lock the door if she came home later than 11:00 pm.
The first week it worked, the second week the husband came home late, the wife locked the door according to the system, so the husband simply did not come home.
The wife was depressed, and then by the guidance of the master, to modify the rules: 23:00 before not home, I will open the door to sleep. The husband was shocked, and from then on, he came home on time.
It can be seen that the essence of the system does not lie in the coercion, but in the interests of the executor of the pull.
6, the old monk asked the young monk: "If you take a step forward is dead, backward step is dead, what should you do?"
The little monk said without hesitation, "I go to the side."
When you encounter a dilemma, think differently, and you may realize that there is a road next to the road.
7, a lady called the architect, said that every time the train passes, her bed will shake. "That's nonsense," replied the architect, "I'll see." When the architect arrived, the lady suggested that he lie down on the bed and experience the sensation of a passing train.
As soon as the architect got into bed, Madame's husband returned. When he saw this, he shouted, "What are you doing in my wife's bed?"
The architect replied with trepidation, "Would you believe me if I said I was waiting for a train?"
Some things are true, but they sound false; some things are false, but they leave no doubt.
8, the English gentleman and the French woman in the same box, the woman wanted to seduce the Englishman, she undressed to lie down and complained of cold. The gentleman gave her his own blanket, but she kept saying she was cold.
"How can I help you?" the gentleman asked in frustration. Mr. asked in frustration. "My mom always used to keep me warm with her own body when I was little."
"Well, miss, that's something I can't help. I can't jump off the train to find your mom, can I?"
A good man is a good man, and a bad man is an even better man.
9. In the dining room, an unusually modest man timidly touched another customer who was wearing a coat.
"Excuse me, are you Mr. Pierre?" "No, I am not." The man replied.
"Ah," he breathed a sigh of relief, "then I'm not mistaken, I'm him, and you're wearing his coat."
It's not easy to be straight. People who are straight, often whisper; and people who are crooked, are as strong as a bull.
10, a Scotsman went to London, wanted to visit an old friend, but forgot his address, so sent a telegram to his father "Do you know the address of Toma? On the day of the message, he received an urgent reply: "Yes."
When we finally find the right answer, we realize it's the most useless one.
Positive jokes 21, the bus, the son asked his father: Dad, when to the park ah? Dad said: the car stopped on the arrival! The son asked: when the car stopped ah? Dad look at the driver replied: to the park, the car stopped.
2, the first line: diligently to people and things to worry about everything, woke up in the middle of the night thought at work. The next line: really for you for me every day night shift, every day trance always want to get off. Crossword: tired old man to hair are not left.
3, to travel, attractions have a temple, so by the way to play in the temple. Buy tickets when I asked a student ticket? The result of the ticket agent's answer is super classic, he said: all beings are equal before the Buddha, there is no student ticket!
4, playing cards when looking at the color, drinking when hooked on the cups, sleeping on the quilt, wearing shoes when in love with the socks, when the prince of the stinking beauty, when thinking about you boy, old friend, how have you been? I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do that, but I'm sure you'll be able to.
5, the rabbit met the tortoise, laughed at: how do you climb, but also climb fast, in front of me, you will always be a supporting role. The tortoise said slowly: how do you run, but also just a beast, you can also become Liu Xiang?
6, and friends to dinner, female coworkers point a cup of papaya milk, the waiter said expressionless. Female coworkers looked at her magnificent chest, the waiter also looked at her flat chest, coldly said: not I drink light .
7, eat? I invite you to eat a feast: steamed good luck, spicy auspicious, halal peace, vinegar health, happy skewers, a plate of pistachios, a bottle of Wahaha, a cup of Coca-Cola, may you eat and drink well, every day happy and happy.
8, gray too hard to catch the beauty of the sheep, and the beauty of the sheep's stomach to get big. The red wolf learned that especially angry, with a pan hard to shoot gray too hard. Gray too hard aggrieved, said: "wife, in fact, I just want you to eat more than a little sheep."
9, the father accompanied his son to squeeze the bus to the test, due to traffic jams go very slowly. The son said: when we have money to buy three airplanes, work to open one, go to school to open a toilet to open one. Dad sweating: the airplane has a toilet!
10, one day, the swan said to the toad: if I grew into you, I would have died, the toad said: the pig is still alive and well, the pig on the sidelines heard, very angry, said: I'm looking at the text message, who am I inviting who.
Positive jokes 31, when I was a child to see the "Wong Fei Hung", I thought a doctor why do you want to be so good at kung fu, and now I realize that this is a profound significance of reality.
2, our village has a person love to play mahjong. One day to play is rising. Suddenly his wife broke in. Pointed at his nose and scolded: "rice does not do, the pig is not fed, all day long just know to play mahjong." Then a burst of scolding. The man slipped back. Looked at his husband walked away. His wife sat down and asked, "Whose banker?"
3, the car more than a year, today went to the traffic police team to check the violation records, only to see the service personnel looked at me faintly, said: Brother ah, you can go to Tsinghua this score! I was in a state of confusion.
4. My friend and I went to a fork in the road, and we said goodbye with a song: "I'll send you away, a thousand miles away." So, "a thousand miles away" went away.
5, Chang'e sister at dinner, suddenly a flash outside, Chang'e a shock, rushed out to see. Back to exhale; "Yang Liwei."