The mention of 100 jokes to laugh until your tummy hurts, as we all know, has been asked for super funny jokes that have to be the kind of jokes that make your tummy hurt from laughing, and, in addition, there are those who would like to ask to kneel down and ask for jokes to laugh until your tummy hurts! The more the merrier, thanks! Do you know what this is all about? In fact, laugh until your stomach hurts 100 jokes short, here is a look at the super funny jokes must be the kind of laugh until your stomach hurts, I hope to be able to help you!
100 jokes to laugh to the stomach pain
1, laugh to the stomach pain of a joke: super funny jokes must be the kind of laugh to the stomach pain
1, parrot: I each speech is very short, but it is very appealing, I'm the animal world can use the bird language and the Chinese language speech of the animal, I'm the name of the actual bilingual speakers.
2, rooster: I speech on, and like to speak at dawn, this unique speech is both my classic opening statement, but also the end of the people rise up.
3, Cicada: speech when the voice is loud and clear is the most basic requirements of the speaker, I have been doing better. As a successful speaker, I am not in favor of a low profile, I am advocating a high profile every day, I can do do dozens of seconds without a change of air when I speak, this specialty is very worthy of every speaker to learn. A second laugh spray paragraph.
4, crow: in fact, I quite like the speech, but I just have a bad memory, every time the opening speech that "ah -" after the speech, after the word forgot, no wonder people do not like my speech, very hard to hear.
Laughing to the stomach pain of 100 jokes short
5, the dog: know why I have been repeating a word "woof-woof-woof" in my speech? In fact, there is a reason, I am illiterate, long so big to recognize this one word, of course, when the speech will speak this one word, a word of speech, let me very embarrassed.
6, fish: I'm not good at talking, because I know that silence is golden, and I know more about how to talk than to listen. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that, but I'm sure I'll be able to do it, and I'm sure I'll be able to do it.
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1、某人嘴笨，他要去给岳父拜寿，但不会講好话。
His wife taught him to say, "Here's to father-in-law's good fortune like the East Sea and longevity like the South Mountain."
He was afraid that he would forget the good words, so he read them as he walked. When he crossed the log bridge, he was a bit panicked, swaying left and right, and breaking into a sweat.
Crossing the bridge, oops! I've forgotten both words! Let's go back and ask again, it's too far.
He suddenly thought: the words were lost while crossing the bridge, they must have fallen into the river, so he went into the water to feel! But after half a day of touching, where can I touch it? He could only hurry onward in a listless manner.
The banquet has just begun, the eldest son-in-law got up to toast: "To my father-in-law's happiness as the East China Sea, longevity than South Mountain!"
At this time, he happened to arrive, and on hearing this, he actually burst into a rage, rushed forward, slapped the eldest son-in-law, and scolded, "So you picked up my words, and made me feel so miserable in the river!"
2. Liu suffered from an eye disease, and when he went out to see the doctor, he was bitten through his pants by his own dog.
When the doctor saw him, he told the doctor about the dog biting his clothes as well.
The doctor said to him jokingly, "Your family dog's eyes must be sick too, otherwise, how could it bite through its owner's clothes as well?"
Liu returned home and thought, "This dog's eyes are sick, biting me is a small matter, if a thief comes at night and he can't see it, then it's a big matter!"
So he boiled the medicine prescribed by the doctor to feed the dog first, and ate the rest of the dregs himself.
3, there is a man to hit a spatula, it happens to be a blacksmith passed by the door, he called the blacksmith into the house, took the scale to the blacksmith to hit. Children 2000 questions.
The blacksmith said, "It's pig iron, you can't hit it." 25 sand sculptures.
The man then said, "Then come tomorrow and I'll bring you cooked iron." One thousand die laughing.
The next day the blacksmith came as promised and the man fished the scales out of the pot.
The blacksmith said unhappily, "I told you it was pig iron and not to be used!"
Whoever expected this threw a tantrum: "Don't be a hero if you're not skilled! Yesterday I put this scale into the pot with a big fire to cook, cook for most of the night, how can you say or raw!" A minute to laugh off the teeth.
The above is the kind of content related to the super funny jokes must be the kind of laughter that hurts the stomach, is
Ten seconds to laugh to break the breath of the funny paragraph
Laughing to break the breath of the funny humor paragraph
1. The boat of life in the face of the dangerous shoals, in the face of the rapids, the weak will choose to escape and give up, while the strong will choose to face and challenge.
2. I had thought the air was free until I bought a bag of chips.
3. What kind of choice phobia is there, it's not because of poverty; what kind of indecision is there, it's not because of goat.
4. Youth will soon pass, what music, movies, lovers are not preservatives.
5. I'm not a bone, I can't let every dog run after me.
6. I would rather be fat and delicate than thin and similar.
7. Tears are not the answer, struggle is the choice. The only thing that you can't do is to go back to the past, and not to the tomorrow.
8. If my life is made into a movie, then the name of the movie I have already thought of, it is called the poor life.
9. Since the use of black toothpaste, teeth white, people black.
10. Listen to me, you have lost a few times, but you will rise again.
11. Obesity is a breathing pain, eating KFC will hurt, eating McDonald's will hurt, even drinking water will hurt.
12. Don't be too good to me, so that I can't tell whether you are love or friendship.
13. The road under your feet, the steps are hard to walk through.
14. Like is wanton, love is restrained. The first thing you need to do is to be careful about what you are doing and what you are doing.
15. Toss a coin: Heads go online, tails go to bed, stand up to go write homework.
16. It's okay if you like waves, as long as you don't get drowned.
17. The only thing in the world that can be achieved without work is poverty, the only thing that can be created out of nothing is a dream, and there is nothing that can be realized without doing anything. The world is cruel, but if you are willing to go, there is always a way!
18. There is a way to get to the car, and there is a way I can't brake.
19. To be independent to not rely on any one person, do not look forward to the warmth in addition to their own, independent to a person can live better.
20. My mom said I can't make friends with people who don't have the right stuff, so all my friends are very two-dimensional.
Laugh until you break funny humor paragraph
21.If life deceives you, do not be sad, do not be sad, tomorrow will be the same anyway.
22. Every effort deserves to be honored.
23. You are the song of apprehension in my heart, always thrilling me.
24. First learn not to be angry, and then learn to be angry.
25. The first button is wrong, but you buckle to the last one to realize. Some things are wrong at the beginning, but only in the end have to admit.
26. In your choice of others, think about letting others choose themselves, in the test of others, think about letting others test themselves, to sell themselves out of the people, a lifetime of little achievement.
27. Dream is a say out on the pretentious thing, it is born in the dark a seed, only to break through the ground, uprooting and long, one day to bloom, in order to be open and let everyone know. Until then, there is no choice but to persevere.
28. The longest relationship I've ever been in is a narcissistic one, where I love myself and have no love interest.
29. How much I hope to pick up the red packet, open the inside written again to a packet.
30. My love even if again cheap, but also can not take the turn for you to discount.
31. Positive thinking results in a positive life, negative thinking results in a negative life!
32.You think you are big is very powerful, the dinosaurs are still big, not as extinct.
33. There will always be a blind look at you, and then good to you without words.
34. In my mother's eyes, the origin of all diseases is because of not drinking water, not eating green vegetables, not going to bed early.
35.I'm young and need you to point me in the right direction, but I don't need you to point me out.
36. You have only two choices, I can either be your wife or your wife's nightmare.
37. Hoeing said when the morning, go to work good hard. After the morning, but also on the afternoon. Not on no money to spend, the heart is more painful. In order to have a good life, hard work is hard work.
38. If you feel poor and ugly, please do not be sad, you still have hope, at least your judgment is correct.
39. The most heartbreaking thing for me is nothing more than the fact that all my couriers have been on an airplane and I haven't.
40. Life is actually very simple, a lot of things do not need to care so much.
Laughing to break the breath of the funny humor paragraph
41. With your looks, there is no need to lose weight, now your ugly can still take the fat as an excuse, after the reduction of fertilizer can be what excuses are not.
42. Only young people are still crying for love, and we adults will only shed tears for poor.
43. Youth is like toilet paper, looking quite a lot, with the use of enough.
44. My wife asked me: If a female colleague seduces you, will you obey? I laughed and shook my head, huh, take me for what? Am I the kind of person who will tell you what you really think?
45. It doesn't matter if your head is empty, the key is not to get water in it.
46. Where there is ideal, hell is heaven; where there is hope, pain becomes joy.
47. The most hateful thing about a man is not that he uprooted a tree, but that he did not bury the pit under the tree.
48. Don't always be hot and cold to me, I'm afraid of catching a cold in that case.
49. These days, who doesn't have an instrument to hold? I'm a pretty good drummer.
50. What you can't pull yourself out of, besides love, is the radish in someone else's field.
51.If you don't work hard, you're out!
53. Not afraid of failing the test, but afraid of not daring to take the test.
54. Dear, you have to be sure to believe me ah, I'm even dizzy on the boat, let alone feet in two boats?
55.The recent ghost weather makes me feel like I'm opening a refrigerator every time I open the door.
56.I don't know how to cook, but I'm good at ordering takeout.
57. When I take you as a human being, you try to act like one!
58. Don't dislike the people who accompany you, don't accompany the people who dislike you.
59. Wake up late to ruin the morning, wake up early to fool the day, so it is still not good!
60. If you are bright, the world will not be dark. If you have hope, the world will not be completely desperate. If you don't give in, what can the world do to you.
40 top funny jokes
The dormitory old four out of bed looking for half a day slippers, no, asked everyone: why my slippers where to go?
3, I once went to buy lamb skewers
Stretching out 4 fingers to the boss said "to 3 lamb skewers"
The boss was baffled "How many?"
I stretched out another 3 fingers and said "4"
4, I surnamed Zhu, management unit computer room. Once someone called my cell phone: "chicken chief, you in the pig room?" At that time, I scolded that guy a meal
5, mom and dad argued, my father said: "I give you out!"
6, just went to college, military training, the company commander did not know where the accent, shouting orders - "Drill to the left!" "Drill right!"
7, college, heard a girl order: master, fried a plate of hot and sour potato, do not put potatoes!
8, when looking for a job, the examiner asked me what year I graduated.
I was going to say 2000, the result of an excited said: "two thousand years ago."
What's more, the examiner said, "Confucius' student."
9, a cultural evening, the host on stage to report: the following please enjoy: Xinjiang song and dance, lift your skull! Creepy ！！！！！
10, the tiger does not send a cat, you think I am sick ah!
11, I: That's our physics teacher.
Students: What do you teach?
I: Chemistry.
12, when I went to school one day a phone call to me, classmates picked up and handed me, said: "your mom looking for you."
I took the phone on the one hand and blurted out: "male female"
Everyone laughed maniacally at me being laughed at for 4 years
13, there was a dormitory classmate's mother called, I used to say "he is not in", but this time I would like to say "I'm not in". But this time I want to say is "has gone out". The result is: "He is no longer in the"
14, gg handed me a sorbet, I bit a mouthful of yelling: "hot dead me!"
15, and my sister went to Li-Ning to buy shoes, my sister opened her mouth: "Miss, how much is a catty of this shoe?"
16, school weekend home, after dinner addiction, intended to excuse to go for a walk. At the door to change shoes, Dad asked me why I went? I casually said: "to loose a smoke!" The result of the dad from my body searched out a pack of 555, hard to K me a meal.
17, the teacher left homework, I will not do to copy others, and then go to the office to hand in the homework, saw the teacher said: "I finished copying!"
18, we work in the morning there is a car shuttle, because the car is not big, once, a mm get on the car without a seat, sit next to me, a male colleague busy stand up, enthusiastic and she greeted said: "so-and-so, you sit on my ass it!" I was laughing maniacally until I got off the bus~!
19, when the university, a student and I argued the issue, a moment in the wind, in the heat of the moment, a slap on the table to get up and yell: you nonsense, I'm not not stupid!
20, when I was a child popsicle ice-cream are generally pushing a bicycle hawking, once, in the house, listening to an aunt shouted: new to the ice-cream, hot.
21, went to a classmate's house for dinner one day, drank a little wine, her father suddenly came in, would have liked to shout uncle, the results said wrong, said: "Dad, come seat!" ~~ Chill! A large group of students laughed to death
22, a ktv, point song, a mm shouted: give me a point a week cutter "double Jay" ......
23, the former exam teacher issued a paper, the back of the girl took one more, shouting "teacher, I have, I have" results sitting next to him, said the boys "is my, is my" class burst cold ~ ~ ~ ~
24, A friend's child is half a year old, call to care, pleasantries after two sentences, came a: your child is now eating human milk or your milk
25, one day in the evening, ran into an acquaintance, opened his mouth to say: "morning ah"...
26. At night, a roommate came into the room and loudly announced: "Today I watched the midnight version of American Psycho!"
27, due to a business opportunity, to go somewhere in the Bank of China maintenance equipment, from the hotel out to do on the cab to the female driver said: "Go to the Bank of China, by the way, looking for a hardware store to buy a knife" Khan! At that time I meant to buy a screwdriver, I did not notice that I said wrong, then the female driver has been looking at me very aggrieved, said: "Brother I'm going to get off work, you re-taxi it". At that time I was very angry, viciously said: "You want to get off work in the hotel parking what car ah?" The female driver looked at me about to collapse and said: "Brother that after buying the knife I do not want the car money you find another one it" Halo! This is to know that I said wrong, hurried to explain half a day, and now think about it all feel sorry for others female drivers.
28, the political teacher once lectured when he said: "I give an analogy below", and then felt that it was not right, and then said: "an example"
29, junior high school, the teacher called translation Whoisthisman?
A classmate translated: Who is this man? The class laughed, the teacher was speechless
30, political science class talked about Sino-Japanese political issues, pulling a pull to the Japanese samurai disemboweled himself.
The teacher said: "Japanese samurai died before the caesarean section ~ ~ ~"
31, college days, a student just bought a cell phone, do a mobile card, call 10086 artificial desk inquiries, a moment of excitement: May I ask your ground moving band business? From the speakerphone, we even heard the operator lady politely said: our ground moving with business. The whole dormitory burst into laughter
32, my husband is particularly thin, once I was anxious to say "husband, look at you as thin as a pig!"
33, announcer script original: two thugs injured my 110 police officers fled
announcer read: two thugs injured my one hundred and ten police officers fled
34, a colleague of ours, he went to take the driver's license, to the examiner said a classic words:
Report instrumentation,, the examiner normal ~~~~~~
35, remembered Once, and a sister to KFC, queuing up when I heard her mouth reciting words, a chicken leg burger, a pair of chicken wings ......
36, MM told me that KFC's new "Bones and Flesh" is the most important thing in the world. "Flesh and bone", want me to take her to eat, those days Beijing is incredibly hot, I was drowsy, to the restaurant, I smiled at the KFC lady came to say: please give me two "flesh and blood", thank you!.............
No place to go -_-!
37, a boy saw his uncle: "buy uncle ah, two dishes!"
Uncle: "This child, so big words, even people will not say!"
38, a very shy male students to go to the cafeteria to play breakfast, the window that the master asked him: "What do you want?" He lowered his head and said: "I want I want a bun and a bun." The chef stared at him for half a day and asked, "What do you want? Say it again!" "I want a bun and a bun oh. NO! A bun and a loaf of bread!"
39, English class, the teacher: "goodmorning, teacher!"
Student: "goodmorning, student!"
The class laughed out loud.
40, a student to his friend's home phone, the other side of the grandfather to pick up, the students do not know what to think, opened his mouth is: "Grandpa, I'm a grandmother," suddenly felt wrong, clunked on the phone hung up
41, a buddy, a time when he asked about the long desired girl, ready to confess to her. The two stayed sitting for a long time, he just summoned up the courage to say to the girl: "Do you have a boyfriend?" The girl shyly replied: "Not yet", he was ecstatic: "Then you can not be my boyfriend?"
42, the wife asked reproachfully: you do not even know your grandmother's name?
Husband aggrieved answer: how do I know, I died when my grandmother was only seven years old.
Wife surprised: what?
The husband was busy changing his story: No, no, it was when my grandmother was seven years old that I died!
43, mom went out to play mahjong before, said to me: "you put all the clothes in the refrigerator, pick up the dishes inside the washing machine ~~~~~
44, once out of the mother to his wife, saw his wife, habitually called: "Mom! "
45, two people fighting, suddenly next to a person came out a sentence: "You really eat things without food to do ah!"
5 laugh at the death of a small joke of humor
1, burst of laughter men and women: a tourist said to the female tour guide: "I want to send you a gift, what do you like?" Female tour guide is very happy, would like to let the other party to send an expensive gift, but embarrassed to say explicitly, so stammered: "I love to dress up, give me some ears, fingers or neck with something it!" Hearing this, the tourist pulled the gift out of his bag - a bar of soap...
2, cold joke: a friend of mine got the stomach flu, so we both took time off to ride home together. Just get on the car, my friend said a little want to vomit... This time up a couple... Female and male pampering to the male to sing, the male does not want to sing, but can not stand the female has been pampered, the result is that the male is really no trick to sing a line ... ... I'm not sure how much I'm going to be able to get out of this...
3, laughable men and women: a girl and her boyfriend broke up, made a very strange move: she logged on to her boyfriend's QQ, to every woman in the friends sent a sentence: I broke up, because I found that I love you! This includes students, colleagues, friends and so on... After sending it, she calmly quit and used her QQ to leave a message to his ex-boyfriend: as an ex-girlfriend, I'm just a small punishment for you...
4, medical jokes: a more than 100 kilograms of fat to consult the doctor how to lose weight, the doctor said: If you run eight kilometers a day, run for three hundred days, you can lose 34 kilograms. Three hundred days later, the fat man to the doctor on the phone: I did in accordance with your statement down 34 kilograms, but also therefore added a new problem. The doctor asked: what problem? The fat man replied: "I am now 2,400 kilometers away from home..."
5, folk jokes: A: my son of a few months, as soon as he heard two kinds of sound immediately stopped crying. B: Oh! Which two sounds? A: The first sound is the sound of your singing. B: Well, good, it seems that your son must be a future musical genius ah! What is the second sound? A: The second one is that as soon as he hears a dog barking, he immediately stops crying...
6, school jokes: the morning got up late, did not even eat before running to school. The classroom straight doze off, so I was afraid to sleep on the table, dreaming of eating a big meal. Suddenly a burst of laughter woke me up, I wondered, "Why are you laughing?" The table replied, "Just now you slept and let out a loud fart! The smell is very strong!" "That's no reason to laugh like that, is it?" "The point is that after you farted, you said, "It smells good! Yummy!" Damn, this is really embarrassing...
7, famous books burst of laughter: Liu Bei troops in Xinye, all day long nothing to do, can not help but delayed in the bed of pleasure. Zhuge Liang advised: Lord if you want to realize the hegemony, can never indulge in female sex, as the saying goes, the red face of the water ah! The words just fell, suddenly saw Guan Yu jumped out of anger: how do you mean so?
8, family joke: wife is very dissatisfied with the daily self alone to engage in family hygiene! So, she wrote on the family blackboard "family health, everyone is responsible for" eight words. At noon, the son after school, the word plus a cross, the wife found on the blackboard into a "family health, adults are responsible for". In the evening, after her husband got off work, another cross was added, and her wife found that the blackboard became "family hygiene, Mrs. Responsibility..."
9, animal jokes: small dog saw the big dog crying, so asked: what happened? The big dog said: archaeologists found a large number of bones in the owner's garden! The little dog said: that's a new discovery! It's a good thing! Why are you still so sad? The big dog cried and said: that's my personal money...
10, cold joke: a person especially like to explore. I heard that there are poisonous snakes in the primitive forest, so prepare a knife, but also specially invited a guide to go exploring together. Not long after, his arm was bitten by a snake. Thinking that poisonous snakes can kill in a moment, in a hurry, waved the knife and chopped off his arm. At that moment, the guide calmly said: this snake is not poisonous...
Source:
Humorous rogues joke paragraph
1, a friend of mine in the Unicom internship, one day, an old man approached, head to face to the sentence "give me a mobile card, okay?" Then my friend did not raise his head to say: "Master, someone to smash the scene!"
2, colleagues to see customers, may be nervous, a mouth is: "Mr. Liu Hello, may I ask you your name ah?" I'm not sure if you're a good person, but I'm a good person.
3, the former geography teacher is a man, especially violent, who talk or distracted up is a punch, but not to hit the girls, there is a new girl does not know, thought that equality between men and women, once she was in class stealing to see the cartoon, was found by the geography teacher, walked in front of her to come, there is no indication that the female students first scared of the face white, shouting: molestation ah. We geography teacher waterfall sweat.
4, my classmates said: I set aside too much laundry detergent. Another asked: what? Your brother-in-law too much?
5, the last time in a foreign country, in the street to see a do pastry sold handsome, my friends and I buy while saying that he looks like Elvis Presley, he heard us talking about him, asked us what we said, I thought for half a day: "kingofmiaomiao."
Expanded
Jokes are a Chinese word with the pinyin xiàohua, meaning something that makes people laugh.
Jokes are characterized by their short length, simple but ingenious storylines, and often unexpected, giving people the wonderful feeling of suddenly laughing at the God. Most of them reveal the phenomenon of life, ironic and entertaining. There is a difference between high and low fun.
On June 7, 2008, jokes were approved by the State Council to be included in the second batch of national intangible cultural heritage list.
Source: Baidu Encyclopedia: Jokes