1, people say that looking for a man depends on the family, which is really true. Listening to your story, his parents are simply too difficult to get along with. But now that I'm married and have a baby, I didn't know it beforehand, so I have to know it and deal with it now. It's nothing. Fortunately, it's not another unbearable problem. You have to think so. Hey hey.
2. What I said is not necessarily right. I feel that it may be because they have the problem of taking advantage of small things, and your family's conditions will be better than his, so they have made the problem of taking advantage again. If you are used to it, you can take it easily.
Arguably, filial piety to the elderly should be that they don't give us back, but it's not the same thing. Therefore, this foundation should not be laid, but should be reversed in time. Everything is mutual. If they are always mean to you, you can go to his house in the future, and you can eat out with your husband instead. Don't be afraid that they will lose face. They have already lost face. You don't have to indulge people so much. They spend their own money and don't use theirs. Why does everything depend on whether they are happy or not? The old people in China are reasonable, but unreasonable. That's what they love. They show their "authority" to their daughters-in-law, and they want to govern. If they can't, they will be hurt and bullied. We don't accept this. I believe that after several similar situations, they should also reflect on their own practices, so that they will not go too far in talking and doing things in the future. It will be calmer to get along.
3. Mother-in-law always feels that her daughter-in-law has robbed her son. This psychology has existed since the peacock flew southeast. The root cause is too deep, and one sentence or two is unclear. For example, she likes to go to your house and look around, which is actually a kind of illness, and they are also very sad. They always want their daughter-in-law to feel that she has closer rights to her son than you do to her son. The more angry you are, the more proud she is. She thinks she has succeeded. In fact, you should look at this matter with compassion. Don't be as knowledgeable as they are. Facing them will intensify the contradiction. I think we can adopt both rigid and flexible schemes to deal with it. One is Gang. Doesn't she like going to your house? Just put your private clothes and articles on the bright side. You can put whatever you like in your's house. If she sees it, she will be embarrassed. If she says anything, you will react normally, saying that the husband and wife have a room, and you can also send her and her husband a copy. In this way, she will understand that the husband and wife's room is private and can't enter at will. After all, she is also a man with a husband. This method is very strong, but it should be very effective. One is softness. If she comes into your room again, you can follow her, decorate the room gracefully, not too private, share your newly bought clothes with her, or give her and her husband a set, and ask how the room is decorated. Do you want to see her and her husband's room sometime? This method is hypocritical, and it depends on what kind of person she is to see if it works. If she has a thin face, she will probably be embarrassed, so she will come less and not come in the future. But this plan requires you to have great patience. If you feel wronged and can't stand it, use the first one.
In fact, there are many mothers-in-law with such psychology. She just thinks you're with her son, and she's ignored. Think about it, too. People brought up their son with one hand and said that they would be together with you. If they are together all day and all night, she can no longer intervene, and she will definitely be lost. If this daughter-in-law is obedient and mainly good, if her personality is independent or even fierce, she will suffer even more. It's just that some people will show it, some people won't show it, and some people show it in different ways. As a daughter-in-law, don't feel hostile, but learn empathy. One day we may become mothers-in-law, too. You'll understand then. So now, you might as well be nice to her. She is your husband's mother. You think so. Being nice to her means being nice to her husband. Let her feel that you care about her from the heart, not to show off to her. For example, when calling "Mom", bring some feelings, buy things, live at home and ask her for more meaning, so that she will feel respected and have status, and she will not always think about showing and emphasizing her status through something. Slowly, she thinks you are sweet and will care about you in turn. Just care about each other, but also keep their distance, maintain their independence and be rational when dealing with things. At the same time, be careful not to make out with your husband too much in front of her mother-in-law, she will not stand it.
In short, one principle is that getting along with mother-in-law and daughter-in-law comes down to getting along with others, and it is also inseparable from human nature. People can't be right with human nature, which is just like people sitting in a chair trying to move themselves away with the chair, which is ridiculous. You should know the personality and psychology of the people you associate with, avoid contradictions and get along gently.
As for some small problems now, they are her problems. You should do what a daughter-in-law should do first, and at the same time do yourself well, and her problems should be gradually alleviated. If you don't come against her, it's no fun for her to compete by herself. If you are more considerate, understanding and distant, she will understand what is going on. After all, she is not a saboteur, she is just mentally unbalanced. Or have psychological problems. As for whether they have friends or not, how to treat you is their business. Just be yourself.
At the same time, no matter what contradictions there are, don't involve your husband too much. Because it will be difficult for him to do it. You do a good job of yourself, protect your husband, take care of everyone's face, and protect your own interests. I believe that everything will get better slowly. Even if there is a problem, it can be solved slowly.
Generally speaking, first, don't let her think that you have countless advantages for them to take advantage of. They also look at people. Second, it is their business to spoil their daughter, have no friends and take advantage. Don't let them think that you are interfering with them and don't say anything about others. Third, we should learn to refuse their rude requests. We can make excuses or make them understand that it is childish. Fourth, don't expect to get along well with your husband's family. You can respect each other and keep your distance. It's good to help each other if something happens. It's best to get along calmly. Fifth, don't let your husband be too embarrassed, no matter when you want to be good to your husband. Hey hey.
Distinguish between what you should do and what you don't even ask. What should be taken to heart, and what is unnecessary. These should be clearly distinguished.
Ok, too much talk, so long-winded. I hope it will be of some use to you, and I wish you happiness! ! ! !