Many parents give their children positive encouragement in order to make them meet their own requirements. However, people don't know that if the wrong encouragement method is adopted, it is likely to have the opposite effect because of the scallop effect. Bao Ma Xiaolin recently had such an experience.

Xiaolin wants to encourage children to improve their self-care ability, so she has set a rule for him. If he can insist on washing socks, folding quilts and tidying his room every day, Xiaolin will take him to a western restaurant for pizza on Saturday.

But one Monday, Xiaolin found that the child didn't make the bed, let alone put the things in the room back to their original places, and then went straight to school. When I came home in the afternoon, the child didn't wash his socks either, as if he didn't want to continue doing housework.

when Xiaolin asked why the child didn't do these things well, the child answered her very unhappy because Xiaolin didn't take him to eat pizza last Saturday. It turns out that Xiaolin worked overtime all day last Saturday because of the arrangement of the company, and forgot to take the children to eat pizza.

However, Xiaolin is angry that the child doesn't do housework because there is no reward. They reward the child to encourage him to become a more independent person. I didn't expect the child to do housework just for reward.

Actually, Xiaolin encountered this problem because she violated the "scallop effect". A small mistake has led children to regard their parents' demands as a way to get rewards, so when the rewards are cancelled, children will also stop the good habits they developed before.

To solve this problem, parents should first understand what the "scallop effect" is. 1. What is the "scallop effect"?

This psychological principle comes from the experiment of an American psychologist. By observing the reaction of the mouse, he learned that if he strengthened the mouse every 2 seconds, its reaction would stop first, although the reaction speed would increase. After the speed reaches the peak, it will continue to strengthen, and a new peak will be formed, which will turn the reaction of the white mouse into a coordinate diagram, which looks like the shape of a shell. However, this experiment also found that if the researchers stop strengthening, the reaction speed of mice will plummet.

If the mice are not strengthened within a fixed time, they will lose the motivation to work hard. Isn't this reaction just like Xiaolin's child? When Xiaolin forgot to give the child a reward, the child also forgot his good habit of doing housework.

If parents continue to take advantage of the scallop effect in a reinforcing and rewarding way, it can actually enable their children to complete the task in the shortest time.

However, taking advantage of this effect also has disadvantages, that is, once reinforcement is stopped, children will lose their efforts. And if parents always use rewards to lure their children to work hard, then children will never know that the reason for their efforts is not for rewards, but for the future.

Children will only encounter more and more setbacks on the road of growth, and the difficulty will become greater and greater. Does this mean that the reinforcement given by parents should also be changed?

Just like Xiaolin's child, maybe pizza can motivate him to work hard now, but in a few years, what he wants may be a trip abroad or a game machine, which will increase the burden on his parents.

Therefore, it is not advisable to use the scallop effect wrongly. Just pursuing speed and constantly urging children will only disgust them. In order to make children more motivated to work hard, parents should learn to adopt a step-by-step reinforcement model. Second, constantly urging children will only lead to disgust, and it is more effective to strengthen them step by step

Parents' reinforcement of their children is not necessarily a material reward, and everyone can make rewards according to their age characteristics.

For example, a three-year-old baby doesn't need beautiful clothes or fun video games, but if people around him give him verbal encouragement, it will be very happy for the child. Five-year-old children like to hear the evaluation of their friends, and it is very important for them to get the recognition of their friends.

Therefore, parents should strengthen their children step by step, and it should also be in line with their age characteristics, which can really play a role in encouraging children.

If parents give excessive reinforcement, you should also be wary of children's "push your luck" behavior.

For example, in one reward, parents take their children to Disney, and next time they reward their children to an amusement park near their home, the children may lose interest.

Although the scallop effect looks dangerous, if it is not used properly, it may make children lose the motivation to work hard and misunderstand the reasons for their efforts. But if parents can make good use of the scallop effect, they can also help their children develop good habits. Third, how do parents use the "scallop effect" to gradually cultivate their children's habits

Children only use the "scallop effect" when learning new things

It is very effective to use rewards to let children learn new things quickly. As the saying goes, "everything is difficult at the beginning". If a child is motivated to do something, his adaptability will also improve rapidly. At this time, parents can give reinforcement in a continuous and fixed time.

When children get used to new things, parents can increase the time interval of reinforcement until the reinforcement is finally cancelled, so that children can find reasons to work hard from internal motivation instead of relying on external motivation forever.

Breaking the time of fixed reinforcement

This is actually to make the child work hard for the purpose of reward. Parents can tell him after strengthening the child at a fixed time, and then they will not give him a reward at a fixed time. Mom and Dad will continue to observe his behavior, and if he can keep it well, he will be rewarded.

This kind of unfixed reward can make children doubly happy when they get the reward, and they don't regard the reward as a habit, let alone go on strike when they don't get the reward.

Some parents may want to ask, since giving a reward to a child may make him regard it as the purpose of habit and hard work, why not give him a reward?

In fact, the "positive education" behind the "scallop effect" is essential for children to grow up, and children will become more confident and generous after being encouraged by their families.

Therefore, parents should make rational use of the "scallop effect" and give full play to the necessary encouragement on their children's growth path. At the same time, we must learn to strengthen step by step and understand what children want most, so that encouragement can achieve greater results. When children's habits have been cultivated, parents should reduce encouragement or change regular encouragement into irregular encouragement, which can turn external motivation into internal motivation and make children work harder unconsciously.