A: You sound like a Beijinger.
B: That's right! I am from Beijing.
B: I'm from Beijing.
A: You heard that there is a "steamed buns" in the western part of Beijing, I'm from there.
B: You are steamed buns! I'm not sure if I'm the same as you, but I'm sure I'm the same as you.
A: You are also a steamed bun?
B: I'm a "sugar triangle". I'm not sure if you're going to be able to get it, but I'm going to be able to!
A: No, I am Beijing West "head dog".
B: I'm the "handle on the string". The clock ah! This is not play it! There is a Mentougou in the west of Beijing.
A: Right! A: That's right! I'm from Mentougou.
B: Your place is full of coal kilns, and before the liberation of the net out of the rich!
A: The rich man is someone else!
B: What about you?
A: I eat by the sky, measure the ground to seek wealth, the soil grasping grain to eat.
B: Oh! You are a farmer?
A: That's right! Yes!
B: How much land did you farm before liberation?
A: I can't say, I'm afraid you'll laugh.
B: No, you didn't. You planted less than we did! I'm not sure how much land I planted, but it's still a lot more than what we used to do in the old days when we used to do comedy!
A: I planted a little bit of land, harvested grain into money, is not enough for you to smoke a roll of cigarettes!
B: You are too kind! How much land do you farm?
A: We have 9,999 hectares and nine mu of land.
B: Oh, how long do I smoke? How long do I smoke?
A: It's not enough to say 9,999 hectares of land, but it's not enough to say 9,999 hectares of land.
B: How is it not enough?
A: By the mountain planted 4,444 hectares of mu land, by the river planted 5,555 hectares of mu land, *** together this is enough 9,990 hectares of mu land.
B: Well! You this is a tongue-twister ah! Our comics specialize in saying tongue twisters, do not believe me to say to you to hear: your family planted 9,999 hectares of nine miles of land.
A: Nine miles of land?
B: No, nine thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine hectares and nine acres. It's a bit of a roundabout way! To say that nine thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine hectares of nine acres, and not enough nine thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine hectares of nine acres, by the mountains there are seven thousand seven hundred and seventy-seven hectares of seven acres, by the river of six thousand six hundred and ...... this, why! I'm not sure how much land you have, but I'm sure you have a lot of land!
A: I can't tell you, I'm not!
B: No, you can't.
A: I don't know what to say!
A: Don't look at the land, but there's not enough grain to feed the animals!
B: How many cows, horses, donkeys and mules do you have there?
A: We don't keep cattle, horses, donkeys or mules there!
B: What do you keep?
A: We don't feed camels.
B: How many camels?
A: No matter how many camels.
B: On what?
A: Five for a string, six for a line, seven for a hand, eight for a gang.
B: Are you a string, a string, a string, a string, a string, a string, a string, a string, a string, a string?
A: I'm here to put which.
B: Alas! I don't have a lot of money here either!
A: I have a handle here!
B: How many camels do you have there?
A: We have 8,888 camels.
B: Here we go again!
A: We have eight thousand eight hundred and eighty-eight camels, but not enough camels!
B: What?
A: I went up to the mountains to pack coal, 4,444 camels, my backyard tied 4,444 camels, **** together to have 8,888 camels.
B: This is a good comparison.
A: Tell me.
B: Your family has planted nine thousand nine hundred ......
A: eight thousand eight hundred.
B: Oh, oh! Your family grows eight thousand eight hundred and eighty-eight camels.
A: What? What? Where can I find camels to plant?
B: No, no, no! You have eight thousand eight hundred and eighty-eight camels tied up in your house.
A: Alas! That's more like it.
B: Eight thousand eight hundred and eighty-eight camels is not enough for eight thousand eight hundred and eighty-eight monkeys!
A: A monkey?
B: No, no, no! Big camel. Up the mountain pack coal went four thousand five hundred and ninety ...... this you love how many have as much as possible!
A: I said you can not say not!
B: Since you have so many industries still not at home to enjoy the happiness? I met you once before the liberation, what are you doing in Beijing?
A: Yes! I came here to see the business.
B: Oh! You have a few more deals in Beijing!
A: That's right! There are a few small stores.
B: Which one is yours?
A: The business is too small, just selling some bits and pieces.
B: What's the name?
A: Too small to mention.
B: You're welcome! Your treasure number is?
A: The head office is in Tianjin, and the branch is in Beijing.
B: Oh! Is ......
A: Zhongyuan Company.
B: (sarcastically) Why?
A: Mine!
B: (through clenched teeth) Centaline is yours?
A: Why are you gritting your teeth?
B: Sounds fresh to me.
A: According to you as if it is not me.
B: Why as if ah, simply not you.
A: You do not believe.
B: Of course I don't believe it.
A: If you don't believe it, you're not a human being. You don't believe me?
B: Yes, yes!
A: Who owns Central Plains?
B: Yours, yours!
A: How do you believe this time?
B: Yes! I don't believe that I'm not a human being!
A: Don't look at me with such a big business, in the past I don't check my accounts once a year.
B: Oh! Buy a handkerchief to check people's accounts! Can you do that?
A: I've never been in an accountant's office.
B: When you go in, people report robberies.
A: I'm standing across the street from the fire that broke out at the Central Plains Company, and I don't even feel sorry for it.
B: Yes! What's yours?
A: so you still do not believe ah?
B: I believe, I believe!
A: There are also a few small cloth stores.
B: What's the name?
A: Ruifuxiang, Ruilinxiang, Guangshengxiang, Yihexiang, Qianxiangyi, these small cloth stores.
B: Why?
A: my!
B: Oh! Yours!
A: There are several small restaurants: Quanjude, Cheap Place, Tongheju, Shabuju, Najiakaner, Houdefu, Donglaishun, Xilaishun, Nanlaishun, Zuihua Lou, Fengzeyuan, these several small restaurants, are mine.
B: Yours, yes!
A: And a few small coal stores.
B: Oh!
A: Hongyi Yong, Yihecheng, Tongxing No. These are a few small coal stores, mine.
B: Right! Yours.
A: And a few small inns: the Far East Hotel, the Six Nations Hotel, the Oriental Hotel, these small inns ......
B: Yours!
A: There are also several small drugstores: Qingren Tang, Yongren Tang, Huairen Tang, Xihe Nian Tang, all of them are mine, even that east, west, south, north and south of the four Tong Ren Tang ......
B: Yours!
A: Lejia's!
B: Why don't you want it this time?
A: I don't want it because I know it's from Roca!
B: Good! (Narrator) It almost went to him!
A: You take the street running that trolley, that are ......
B: Yours!
A: The tram company.
B: This is not nonsense!
A: I said that trolley was owned by the trolley company, that wire up there, that track down there ......
B: That's yours!
A: They matter.
B: Go! (narrator) He's going to split the trolley company.
A: How's that? Quite a bit of business, isn't it!
B: (sarcastically) That's a lot. You can't eat or drink enough from those big silk houses, let alone anything else!
A: Of course!
B: That's not to say that you don't need to spend money to wear tweed and silk!
A: That goes without saying! A phone call will send a few pairs.
B: Since a phone call to send a few, (look at B coat) oops! Why don't you change this coat?
A: This ...... hehehe! I am not not love knife ruler well!
B: Yeah! If you love the knife ruler again, you'll be naked!
A: This Satin Village my you do not believe ah? You do not believe but ......
B: I believe, I believe!
A: Ah?
B: Then you don't have to pay for burning coal!
A: Of course it does! A few tons of hard coal and smoky coal will be delivered in one call.
B: Good! Since you don't spend money on burning coal, why didn't I see you buying 10-cent briquettes with a small dustpan at the time of liberation?
A: Ah?
B: ah what ah?
A: No, no, no, no. Someone told me that the briquettes we sell at the coal store are a bit adulterated and don't burn well, so I'm going to buy a penny of them to test them out.
B: You want to test, test a day ah!
They are the first to be able to do so, and they are the first to do so.
A: This ...... ah! I have not yet tested it!
B: Right! If the test is done, how will you cook the dumplings?
A: These are my coal stores, you don't believe me?
B: I believe! （
B: I believe it! (Laughs) Those restaurants are yours too!
A: That goes without saying!
B: You don't have to pay for your meals!
A: Of course! The first thing you need to do is to take a look at the whole thing and see if you can find a way to make it work.
B: Since eating does not cost money, how come I always saw you eating old tofu in Tianqiao before liberation?
A: Ah? I don't ...... I don't eat chicken, duck, fish and meat every day! Eat some old tofu for a change of taste.
B: Oh! Change of taste. That people dropped a piece of white potato skin how do you pick up?
A: This ...... I thought it was a Tibetan green fruit!
B: How did you pick up a cigarette butt?
A: Oh!
B: Why did you pick up the cigarette?
B: I followed you there!
A: Why are you following me? You still don't believe me?
B: Don't worry, I believe, (muttering to himself) well! I don't believe it, I'm not a human raised ah! You came to Beijing just to see the business?
A: No. I came to Beijing just to see what's going on! And to buy a few things on the way!
B: What are you buying?
A: Buy some cars.
B: Oh! Buy a car!
A: Buy two dozen.
B: Ah! You want to open a transportation company?
A: Why open a transportation company ah! I don't have enough for myself!
B: You're not going to be able to sit in that many cars?
A: It's raining on a cloudy day and you can't go to the toilet without taking a car!
B: I can't go to the toilet in a car!
B: I don't know how big your house is!
A: I'm surrounded by 800 miles. There are more than 80,000 houses, and there is a highway in the middle of the yard. In the garden, the fish in the eye of the dragon is better than the donkey, and the toad's bones are bigger than the camel's.
B: I'm not sure how much I can afford to pay.
B: I've never even heard of it.
A: The cornstalks we grow there are more than ten feet long.
B: How do you eat it?
A: Two people carry it, and the one in the middle chews it with his neck up.
B: This is to eat the stick which, simply suffering which!
A: The sorghum is ten feet high. The sorghum grain and grapefruit is not much difference, walking in the sorghum field you have to pay attention, in case you are not careful, fall down a sorghum grain to the head can be a bag, two days you can pay attention to our place, you see the head with a wrapped gauze, that is ......
B: bumped.
A: sorghum grain smashed.
B: Huh?
A: The grasshopper is bigger than a dog, and if you are not careful, you will have to rest for three months if you are bitten by a grasshopper. We don't use nets to catch grasshoppers there.
B: With what?
A: We use machine guns. When you go to our place and hear the machine gun, it is ......
B: Target shooting!
A: Catch grasshoppers!
B: We're not going to be able to do that!
B: We're not going to be able to do anything about it!
B: I'm not sure what you're talking about! Let me ask you, in the past, how many people lived in the 80,000-odd rooms on such a large piece of land?
A: More than 80,000 people, each one.
B: There were more than 80,000 people in the house?
A: No! I am the only one in my house, more than 80,000 people are refugees, I have opened a small porridge factory there, alms.
B: Oh! So you used to be a good person, your porridge factory is also a daily porridge ah!
A: I don't give up porridge there, three meals a day, stewed meat pancakes in the morning, fried noodles at noon, dumplings at night. On the first day of the fifteenth eat treats, eight people a table of Swallow vegetable seat. After eating, will play mahjong, give twenty dollars to play eight rounds of mahjong. Will not play mahjong, take the airplane to walk a corner and come back.
B: ooh!
A: This is a normal day, the New Year's holidays and single house.
B: Yes! What are you doing on May Day?
A: May Day ah! I'd like to give up a little something for the festival, one for each of the more than 80,000 refugees.
B: What's in it?
A: One hundred rice dumplings.
B: Uh-huh!
A: Two handfuls of bushels of rice and two handfuls of mugwort.
B: Oh!
A: black mulberry a plate, white mulberry a plate, with a handle of sweet cherries a bushel, mountain cherries a bushel, large apricots a hundred, andrographis one or two, five poison biscuits four boxes, rose cake, vine cake as children five pounds, "Shan Hai Guan" automobile two dozen, two dozen elixir, two dozen Double Sisters brand of floral water, there are thirty-five pounds of big head of the fish, the cool water ...... then you pick it yourself.
B: You which! I'm not sure how much I'm going to be able to afford to pay for this.
A: What do you mean?
B: What do you want to give up in June?
A: It's hot in June! A person two sets of spun silk pants and coats, a horizontal Luo coat, a Panama straw hat, three pairs of satin shoes.
B: Yes? July?
A: July days under the evening a little cool! Each person has a set of soft tipped pants and jacket, a spring silk robe, wear it backwards and forwards.
B: Oh! And what about August?
A: August trouble!
B:: August how trouble!
A: The Mid-Autumn Festival in August is a great celebration!
B: You still have to be single.
A: Of course!
B: What are you going to do in August?
A: One for each of the more than 80,000 refugees.
B: What are they?
A: five pounds a reunion cake two.
B: One is enough! Why are you giving up two?
A: a meat and a vegetarian, there is that eat fasting Buddha we do not fall tolerance.
B: Hey! I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that, but I'm going to be able to do it.
A: A white vegetarian ingots a share.
B: Oh!
A: A large double packet.
B: Ah!
A: thirty since the red, fifty since the white, a pair of cockles, a branch of beans, white flowers, a lotus root, peach, apple, pomegranate, persimmon, betel, white pear, tiger pulling the car as five, sweet pear, sand fruit, sand fruit pear, the same child ten pounds, one catty of cherry jujubes, two pounds of gaga jujubes, two pounds of red grapes, five pounds of white grapes, a three-white watermelon, the old white dryer, the first red, grape green, Lotus White, as five pounds, crabs, the same child, the same child, the same child. The same child five pounds, eight and a half pounds of crab, a large group umbilical cord is full of live. Outside of a plate of ginger juice, this vinegar ...... you will play by yourself!
B: Oh! A penny of vinegar who still can not afford to play ah! You September what to give up?
A: It's cold! Each person a camel's robe, a set of cotton jacket and pants, all silk cotton.
B: Oh, October?
A: It's time to wear coats! There's nothing very nice about a fur coat for each person.
B: That's the old sheep's.
A: The fox-legged ones are just fine.
B: Ah? The fox-legged ones are still getting by! November?
A: each a dress tweed otter collar coat.
B: Oh! And in the month of January?
A: Busy! New Year's Eve!
B: What's the net?
A: From the day of the lunar month.
B: Oh! You're still making congee there?
A: Boil? The 80,000 or so refugees each have a share, not to mention a lot, each person a bowl, where can I find such a big pot to go.
B: What should we do then?
A: Give up some congee rice, take it back and boil it yourself.
B: Oh! What's in it?
A: A copy of rice and beans.
B: Uh-huh!
A: congee fruit full portion, millet children a catty, a liter of soybeans, half a catty of rice, half a catty of beans, half a catty of barley rice, five pounds of small jujube child, three pounds of chestnuts, half a catty of dried peaches, half a catty of lotus seeds, four taels of black beans, four taels of white peas, Job's tears rice, lychee meat, pike raisins, the same child two two, the green silk, the red silk of the two samples of two two, the melon seed kernel, hazelnut kernel, the same child two two, two gold cake, half a catty of rock candy cubes
B: Oh! I'm sorry, but I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that. Or really full and. You're finally done for the year!
A: finished? The New Year's Eve is not yet over!
B: New Year's Day, but also to give up ah?
A: What's the word! The sages have said (shaking his head), "A gentleman who follows the way and walks on it will be able to tolerate its goodness, half-worked and wasted, is the lack of strength."
B: All right! You do not shake it! If you do, you'll lose the yellow!
A: What do you call this!
B: New Year's Eve, what else do you want to give up?
A: eight inches wide and five feet high honey for five boxes.
B: Oh!
A: round apple twenty-five for a hall.
B: Ah!
A: Five boxes of gluten and five boxes of veggies.
B: Yes!
A: red Luo cake twenty-five hands, God against the old Buddha offerings, heaven and earth offerings, Zao Wang offerings, the same child three bowls? Ancestral Hall for three halls, a thousand spring orange twenty-five for a hall, white honey for five bowls for a hall, a pair of Buddha flowers, a pair of kumquat, a handful of incense in the hall, sandalwood incense four two, four two incense, charcoal cake twenty-five, countless longevity incense, white vegetarian ingot five seals, a pair of five pounds of overnight wax, a pair of rings of white wax, a pair of large double packet, a small double packet four pairs of four pairs of money grain pairs of four pairs of ten thousand word whip a hanging, five children's hemp Thunderer, five children's two-kicked foot, hanging money 100 sheets The street door pairs and the house door pairs. Zao Wang pairs, banner, fortune, spring strips full share, yellow and white on the cake **** ten pounds, three hundred pounds of hard coal. Five hundred pounds of briquettes, two packages of white rice, four bags of white flour, 500 steamed bread, a pig's head, a carp, a red rooster, fifty pounds of pork, sixty pounds of mutton, twenty pounds of beef, four elbows, two hangings of large intestines, five pounds of lard, a full portion of the next, three pounds of tripe, five pounds of lungs, five packages of five spice seasoning, ten chickens, ten ducks, a pair of pheasants, a wildcat, 20 pounds of mutton, twenty pounds of yellow beef, venison, fifteen pounds of wild boar. Fifteen catties, one wild boar, one pair of deer tails, one package of ice fish, five ice chickens, one catty of silver fish from the Huaihe River, half a catty of fish bones, four taels of fish maw, five taels of scallop, fifty chickens, thirty ducks, ten pine flowers, twenty pigeon eggs, half a catty of mushrooms, one catty of mushroom in the gung ho, four taels of yellow flowers, four taels of fungus, four taels of needles, four taels of antlers, four taels of prawns, five catties of vegetables, one catty of pepper, half a catty of sesame sauce.
B: can finish!
A: a catty of seaweed.
B: There's more!
A: half a catty of soda.
B: Oh!
A: two taels of alum and a pound of kelp.
B: Yes!
A: Thirty oil skins, thirty vermicelli skins, five hundred pieces of dried incense and dried squares, fifty strips of gluten, thirty pieces of soft gluten, twenty pieces of fresh tofu, fifty pieces of frozen tofu, five jin of salt, one jin of milled salt, five jin of yellow sauce, two jin of black sauce, one jin of white soy sauce, two jin of black soy sauce, one jin of cooking wine, ten jin of rice vinegar, ten jin of sesame oil, five hundred jin of Chinese cabbage, two hundred handfuls of spinach, fifty jin of bell peppers, twenty handfuls of garlic, three hangings of old garlic, one jin of Chinese cabbage, fifty jin of peppers, twenty handfuls of garlic, and three hangings of old garlic.
B: Ho! But you can't go through the day without a thousand or so, according to the way you open the door!
A: That's right! That year, the money was spent off!
B: Oh!
A: I had no choice! I pawned my pants for 50 cents. That was a bad year for money! I had a meal, bought a box of cigarettes, and it was gone!
B: Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
A: I intend to do so, but I'm not rich yet, I'm liberated!
(Ma Sanli and Zhang Qingsen)