Generally speaking, when making foreign friends, there are the following international practices.
1. Keep your promise. In interpersonal communication, "words must be kept, and actions must be fruitful". It is the basic education that a person should have.
When dealing with foreign friends, from dating time to business dealings, we should keep our word, keep our promise, don't make promises casually, and break our promises. Only in this way can the friendship between the two sides be consolidated.
2. Enthusiasm is moderate. In interpersonal communication, China people have always advocated that friends should "know everything and say everything", and advocated that "caring for others is more important than caring for themselves" and "your business is my business". However, in foreign countries, people generally advocate the supremacy of personality and oppose any form of interference with personality independence and infringement of personal dignity. Too much concern for others, or too much intervention, will make the other side disgusted. Therefore, when dealing with foreign friends, we should not only be warm and friendly, but also respect each other's personal dignity and independence.
3. Respect privacy. Foreigners generally believe that to respect the individual independence of communication partners and safeguard their personal dignity, we must respect their personal privacy. Even among family members, relatives and friends, we must respect each other's privacy. Therefore, when you get along with foreign friends, you should consciously avoid any form of involvement in each other's personal privacy. Don't take the initiative to inquire about foreign friends' age, income, marriage, family, health, experience, address, native place, religious beliefs, political opinions, what they are busy with, etc.
4. Ladies are preferred. In foreign countries, especially in western countries, people pay attention to women's priority. It requires adult men to take the initiative to respect, care for, protect and solve problems for women in social situations. People who can do this will be regarded as well-educated.
5. Don't be too modest. In the eyes of foreigners, being a man needs self-confidence first. For personal ability and self-evaluation, we should not only seek truth from facts, but also dare to affirm boldly. People who dare not admit their personal abilities and belittle themselves at will are either in fact true or hypocritical and have ulterior motives. Therefore, when dealing with foreign friends, don't be too modest, especially don't belittle yourself to avoid being misunderstood.
Sometimes, in contact with foreign friends, it is inevitable to encounter some scenes that I have not experienced or things that are difficult to handle. At this moment, the best way is to wait and see what others are doing, and try to "follow the crowd" and be consistent with everyone.
At first, I had the impression that Americans were just like a little boy in China in dealing with people. Not only did they often talk childish, but they also talked casually. Compared with authentic English, American English is mostly casual and unrestrained, from pronunciation pinyin to grammar rhetoric. Americans are far from the standard public image of "sitting like a clock and standing like a pine" in China, especially American children, who have no rules, are sloppy, lazy, sit without sitting or standing; Whether you are familiar or not, opening your mouth is' cough'! Then call them by their first names, even for grandparents. They have a simple meal, treat them to bread and eggs or China dinner, and they are equally happy. In order to improve their English level, China students once deliberately rented a room with American students, and soon they saw that they had become American free nannies: things were thrown about, and the newly cleaned room was out of order like a dog kennel. As a result, China students moved quickly.
After getting to know Americans a little, you will find that they are still straightforward and lovely like big children. Americans pretend to be a nation with a sense of humor. If you scold him for being uneducated and worthless, instead, he thinks that you are burdened by material and reputation and feel sorry for you because you don't know the truth of life. But if you scold him for being dull and having no sense of humor, he will feel great shame. Americans, old and young, men and women, talk to each other all the time, all for fun, and make the language environment relaxed as the criterion. Sometimes you see a group of people laughing and laughing, and you think it's an old friend gathering, but in fact they haven't known each other for ten minutes.
It is very important for the American nation to stress credibility (of course, not all Americans are reputable people), because America's economic and social status is based on personal credibility. If you joke with him in this respect that he is cheating and dishonest, he will turn his face at once-Americans turn their faces when they say they turn their faces, and there is no mercy.
body language
Use body language
After spending some time with Americans, you will notice that Americans are very particular about their speech. They pay attention to body language, especially eye contact and the distance between their bodies.
We often see Americans shaking hands and kissing. American customs, when meeting men and women for the first time, just shake hands, and kissing is the body language between good friends. The way to kiss is: between the same sex, the face touches each other's face, and then kiss in the air; Between the opposite sex, you can kiss each other on the cheek. Parents kiss their children, their foreheads and cheeks.
Smile and eye contact are very important when dealing with Americans. Smiling eyes and greeting language have the same meaning in public places. If a stranger walks up to you and smiles back at you, he will say' hi' or' hello', which is just a courtesy, but it doesn't mean that he will stop to talk to you.
It is impolite to stare at people in China. When Americans look at you and don't look him in the eye, they will think that you are evasive and insincere and that you can't be trusted. So when you talk to Americans, keep eye contact.
In addition, when talking to Americans, we should keep the distance between each other's bodies, and the scale of half a meter is better. If you talk to an American and he keeps moving forward, maybe you are too far away from him; If he keeps backing away, you may get too close to him.
All smiles are friends.
We are all friends
The concept of Friend is different in the United States and China. Americans can call people they know, acquaintances or even people they meet for the first time friends. There are many holidays in America, and there are also many organized parties. Many people get together happily, maybe they have only known each other for a few minutes. In a sense, China's concept of friends is similar to that of American brothers, sisters and close friends.
Many adults and children in the United States do not deny that they are not United with their brothers and sisters. There is no hard and fast rule between family members that the big ones must help the small ones. Parents treat their children with the same respect as their friends, and the law also stipulates that parents cannot physically punish their children, so parents influence the next generation by reasoning with their children and setting an example by themselves. Their pleasure in raising children is to watch the growth of another life from a humane point of view, so there are many Americans who adopt other people's children, and there are many white people who adopt Asian children or black children.
Americans are charitable, keen, honest and frank-like and easy to make friends. They always trust people first. However, once they feel that the person is wrong, no matter who is right or wrong, they will turn their faces immediately, and there is no room for him to explain. But if he realizes that he misunderstood afterwards, he will sincerely apologize to you and have no worries about losing face.
Beware of being considered gay.
Man don't hold hands & woman don't hold hands in America
Men and men, women and women are walking in the street. If you are not gay, don't go back and forth on the main road in America. Be friendly to Americans, and don't use hand in hand, the traditional China expression, to show closeness. In 1997, Time magazine, a famous American magazine, published a photo of two girls walking arm in arm in the street of China as evidence that homosexuality is rampant in China, which shows that Americans have little knowledge of China customs.
When a man praises the beauty of a woman, he is sometimes polite to you in the United States, just like when a China person asks you if you have eaten, not necessarily because he is tempted by the beauty of the other person. Similarly, women can praise men. Commonly used polite words are:
Between formal occasions and strangers:
Hello. Hello! Hi!
How are you? How are you?
The weather is very good today. It is beautiful today.
Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you!
Between acquaintances and colleagues:
You look very well today. You look good today.
Your clothes are beautiful (or I like what you are wearing today). I like your dress/shirt (Lady:dress Man:shirt)
You are very pretty (mostly for women).
Don't touch American children and dogs without your parents' consent.
Ask for permission first before getting too close to children or dogs
Old people in China sometimes show their love for their children by giving them food and touching their heads with their hands. You should try to avoid these two points in America. American food is plentiful and cheap, and children of civilians and even the poor are constantly eating snacks. Parents are very worried about their children's picky eaters and eating inferior advertising food. Ordinary parents will educate their children not to accept food from strangers. They are not worried about their impoliteness, but about their children being poisoned by bad people. Touching a child's head doesn't like it, and parents won't be happy. Strangers must pay attention to keeping the distance between people in the United States.
American dogs are family members, as important as children. So, don't feed American dogs casually. Besides, many dogs are specially used to deal with strangers. Be careful of being bitten! American postmen are bitten countless times a month and have to carry a spray with them to deal with fierce dogs.
Don't ask Americans about their income and age.
Do not ask for personal information
Americans are very taboo about being asked about their income.
To know the income of an American family, you can know the general situation by looking at what living area the family lives in and what school the children attend. American food is cheap, cars are cheap, and housing is absolutely expensive. Most of the income of the average American family is spent on housing and tuition. Every city in the United States has rich areas, blue-collar areas and civilian areas. Each district is divided into upper, middle and lower levels. Primary and secondary schools in the United States are free of charge, while private schools collect money. Different private schools charge different fees. Americans don't make money for the purpose of saving, what kind of money they earn and what kind of living environment they live in. Therefore, the general manager of a large company is likely to sell his existing house immediately after losing his job, live in a relatively poor environment, and his children will also transfer from private to public schools.
Americans are also very taboo about being asked their age.
Don't ask the age of Americans. Even if I did, the average American wouldn't tell you honestly. When attending an American birthday party, Xu Niang, 40, will say to celebrate the 28th birthday. Unless they have to fill in a form when applying for a job, they may not fill in their real age at that time, and the law also protects workers from filling in the exact age. To know the correct age of Americans, it is most accurate to look at their driver's licenses or passports, and passports and driver's licenses need their birth certificates to get them. But why do you want to know other people's ages?
Generally speaking, how much does the house you live in cost and the car you drive cost? If you ask Americans these questions, just as Shanghainese think you just got off the ship from Shiliupu Pier, they will think you are impolite.
The only thing you can talk about openly is the market situation about children's education expenses and travel expenses.
Politeness in public occasions
Don't talk too loud in public, No personal discussions in public too.
When we meet acquaintances in China, we say hello loudly to show our enthusiasm. We should pay attention to this aspect when we come to the United States. Public places in the United States are relatively quiet, and people speak very quietly. Unless there is an emergency, they generally don't shout. See acquaintances also approached to say hello. When meeting in a restaurant, it is also limited to the other party can hear clearly, and don't make any noise. In addition, try to avoid talking about your family affairs or children's private affairs in public.
People who walk in front often open doors for people behind them. If they come to a door at the same time, men usually let women go first. Getting in and out of the elevator is also a priority for women. Take the same road and try to let others go first. There are few pedestrians on the road. If someone passes by each other, whether they know each other or not, if they are in the business district, they usually say Excuse me before they pass. If you are in a tourist area, you usually say hello (hi, hello, good morning, good afternoon, good evening) and then walk away. When you need someone else's service, first pay attention to whether someone is in front of you, don't cut in line, and don't interrupt others' speech. If men and women walk together, men are used to walking on the side near the road. This habit stems from the fact that when society is underdeveloped, carriages often splash mud to dirty women's long skirts, which is a gentleman's behavior to protect women.
I'm sorry, thank you.
Always say Thank You after getting service, say Excuse Me to get attention
I'm sorry. Thank you. Before asking the way and asking questions, you should first say sorry. If you want attention, you have to say you're sorry. If you want to pass by a person, he is only arm's length away from you. Don't forget to say sorry when you pass by. Someone gets in your way without noticing. If you say you're sorry, others will get out of the way. Don't push others with your hands. In the United States, people pay attention to the distance between their bodies. Exceeding a certain distance will give people a sense of aggression.
China people have a tradition of not thanking their loved ones. Thanks are welcome. It's different in America, between husband and wife, between parents and children, you should say thank you for any help, especially for outsiders. Even when the mother adds food and clothes to her children, the children will habitually say thank you when they accept it. When the husband eats the food cooked by his wife, he always says thank you at the end and compliments the food on its delicious taste. In the United States, if you accept anyone's service, whether paid or unpaid, you must say: thank you!
Face-lifting article
Table Manners
With the economic development of Taiwan Province and mainland China, more and more China people travel to the United States. Many businessmen are invited to dinner on formal occasions. The following are the differences between China and the United States:
China people pay attention to the quality of food, and Americans pay attention to the quality of the environment.
It is a necessity for China people to clink glasses. There is no difference between Americans toasting and clinking glasses or drinking by themselves.
China people eat more food to show warm reception to Americans, as long as they are full.
Americans don't know how to use chopsticks in Chinese restaurants and make a fool of themselves. Similarly, many people in China don't know how to use knives and forks in western restaurants.
Western food is not rich in food, but rich in utensils.
Generally, each person has a bowl, one large and one small, two plates, one knife, two forks and two spoons.
The bowl is for soup, the saucer is for lettuce, and the knife is used to cut the food on your plate, such as fish and meat.
The fork, the one far away from the bowl and basin, is for eating lettuce, and the one near is for eating.
Spoons, the big ones are for soup and the small ones are for snacks. On formal occasions, meals are served to diners. If you are a guest in an American home, there is usually a public spork. Guests are not allowed to carry food with their own knives and forks.
American recipes are usually:
Pre-dinner, like spring rolls, belongs to this category;
Lettuce and soup;
The staple food, beef, pork, chicken or fish seafood, is usually only one of them, and then served with bread, noodles or rice;
Dessert, cake, ice cream or fruit;
Drinks, there are all kinds of strong and soft drinks.
Ice water is complimentary.
Everyone will have a napkin, which can be placed on his chest or on his thigh.
When you eat, you are forbidden to talk with rice in your mouth, and you are also forbidden to dance with a knife and fork like Tan Xing is thick. Don't make any noise when drinking soup, and don't hold the soup bowl up for drinking. When the soup reaches the bottom of the bowl, lean the bowl forward and then use a spoon to scoop it up. When eating noodles, you should roll the noodles into the size of a bite with a fork and send them to your mouth instead of sucking them with your mouth.
After the meal, people in China don't think much of burping, and they can even think that it is satisfaction with the host's hospitality. In America, it is considered impolite. So if you can't hold back, cover your mouth with a napkin and burp, and then say sorry to your deskmate.
In addition, in dining occasions (or in any occasion), try not to pick your nose, do your hair or scratch your ears, which will be considered rude and uneducated.
When you say goodbye, even if the food served by the host is not to your liking, you may still be hungry, but from a polite point of view, you must say that the food is delicious and say goodbye politely.
Attend an American party
Attending American Party
Americans have many opportunities to get together. It is also easy to attend American parties. Don't forget to ask the reason for the party when the host invites you. If it's a Christmas party or a birthday party, don't forget to bring a gift. On other occasions, parties are very casual. Just ask the host what you need to bring, and sometimes they will say to bring beer, fruit and lettuce. If the host says nothing, you can go empty-handed. This is impolite for Americans. At present, most popular parties are' take-a-meal parties' between relatives and friends, and participants each bring a food to attend.
To attend a business party or dinner party, you should arrive on time, not more than 5 minutes in advance or late. Business lunches are the most common in the United States. Generally, people only have one hour for lunch, so the time scale should be grasped. For a business meeting, it is best to arrive ten minutes in advance. I really can't. I have to be late. Don't forget to call and say hello first and then hurry there.
Attend a family dinner. Generally speaking, when the host invites, he will indicate the time of the party. Don't arrive before the scheduled time. Maybe the host is still busy preparing. Stay no longer than the end time notified by the host. Gifts brought to dinner parties are generally wine, flowers and cakes.
Common gatherings of relatives and friends
Baby shower: A party for new parents before the baby is born.
Baptist: Baptism; In the church, Christians are officially accepted by God for babies.
Bris: Circumcision: Jews circumcise a baby boy on the eighth day of birth, and relatives and friends participate and celebrate.
Bar Milzvah: rite of passage: a celebration held by Jews when boys and girls reach the age of 13.
Bachelor Party: farewell bachelor party: a party held by same-sex friends for friends who are about to get married, including the groom's farewell bachelor party and the bride's farewell bachelor party
Thanks Giving Party: Thanksgiving party.
Christmas Party: Christmas party
Cards and gifts
Send a thank you card. If you are invited to a formal occasion or receive a gift from others, don't forget to send a thank you card. This is a very basic etiquette in the United States, and teachers teach children when they are in kindergarten. Americans receive a lot of presents during Christmas and birthdays every year, which is also the most profitable opportunity for card makers.
Send Christmas cards. From Thanksgiving to New Year, Americans send gifts and cards to each other. When sending a card, if the recipient is married, the card should indicate that it is for both husband and wife, even if you don't know the recipient's spouse. If the recipient is a Jew or a Muslim, don't write' Merry Christmas' on the card, but write' Happy Holidays'. Many American families use family photos of their families to make holiday cards for relatives and friends.
-According to traditional etiquette, the people to send cards during Christmas are:
Family members: parents, spouses and children.
Close friends and relatives.
People who meet frequently.
People who seldom contact each other, but who come and go all the year round.
Colleagues who work together every day
Family doctors and dentists
During the festival, it is also a time to give gifts. Colleagues or secretaries of the company, who work together all the year round, help each other, so take this opportunity to reciprocate. Common expressions are: invite the other person to dinner, send flowers or give them their favorite gifts.
Holidays are also the season for tipping. You should tip anyone who serves you personally or your family all the year round. For example, a family nanny (usually 100 yuan), a janitor, a postman, a child's teacher in your apartment, etc. (usually $5 to $20). As for the personal beautician, you usually tip after cutting your hair, and you should give more during the Chinese New Year.
American cultural etiquette
(1) Social Etiquette
Americans have the following four main characteristics in dealing with people and things.
First, easy-going, friendly and accessible.
Second, warm and cheerful, informal.
Third, he is not shrewd and likes humor.
Fourth, self-esteem is strong and competitive.
(2) Dress etiquette
Generally speaking, Americans usually don't dress very well. Advocating nature, preferring to be loose, and paying attention to appearance to show personality are the basic characteristics of American dress. When dealing with Americans, you should pay attention to the following exquisite clothes of the other party, so as not to make a bad impression on the other party.
First, Americans attach great importance to the neatness of Italian clothes.
Second, when visiting Americans, you must take off your hat and coat when you enter the door. Americans think this is a courtesy.
Third, Americans attach great importance to dress details.
Fourth, women in America had better not wear black leather skirts.
Fifth, in the United States, if a woman casually takes off her shoes in front of a man, or shakes the hem of her skirt, it will often make people feel like seducing each other on purpose.
Sixth, it is considered impolite for Americans to wear pajamas and slippers to meet guests or go out in this dress.
Seventh, Americans believe that wearing bright makeup when going in and out on public occasions, or putting on makeup in public before public, will not only be regarded as ill-bred, but also may make people feel suspicious.
Eighth, people who still wear sunglasses indoors are often regarded by Americans as "people who can't see the sun."
(3) Catering etiquette
There are six main commandments for Americans to eat:
First, it is not allowed to make noise when eating.
Second, it is not allowed to take food for others.
Third, smoking is not allowed.
Fourth, it is not allowed to persuade others to drink.
Fifth, it is not allowed to undress in public.
Sixth, it is not allowed to talk about disgusting things.