1. I once passed 1 people, sparking and almost moving a brick.

2. Sleeping is an art, and no one can stop me from pursuing it.

3. You have been taught not to spend money recklessly since you were a child, only to find that there is no money for you to spend recklessly when you grow up.

4. Although I can't catch the moon for you, I can catch fish balls, shrimps and fat cows for you at the bottom of the sea ...

5. The computer has the same language as me, and every time I look at it gently, it subconsciously crashes.

6. The husband comes home from work. I saw a box of cakes on the table with three candles on it. He asked, "Whose birthday is it?" The wife next to him replied coldly, "It's this dress on me. It is 3 years old today! "

7. what is a male god? It's the kind of man who, at a glance, feels that he has nothing to do with you in his life.

8. I can drive without walking, and I can squat in the house without lying on the hillside. The reality is so bleak that there is no car and no room in the game.

9. After the wife gives birth, the family stays with her in the ward. I excitedly said to my wife, "Great! It's a son. " The wife said, "What, son preference?" I said, "No, it hurts so much to have a daughter and be abducted by some beast when she grows up." The father-in-law sighed and said, "Yes, it really hurts!"

11. I tell you, I am different now, and I am poor day by day.

11. Girlfriend said: Let's break up! Me: Why? She said: I think you have changed. Me: How did I change? She: If you haven't changed, I won't think you have. Me: ...

12. My son did poorly in the senior high school entrance examination and was scolded by his wife. I went to comfort my son: "You study hard and you must surpass your father in the future." The son came weakly: "I can't guarantee anything else. However, it is still very sure to find a better wife than you in the future. "

13. A: I have two bad habits that bother me. The first bad habit is to sleep naked. B: It's nothing! What about the second bad habit? A: Sleepwalking.

14. Recently, a colleague wanted to resign, and our boss said, "Since we have known each other, don't end it hastily, let's get together for dinner. "Then after two days of careful preparation, the after-dinner activities of the hotel were all set, but one thing was forgotten, that is, to inform the colleague.

15. Get married. If you get a good wife, you will be happy. If you get a bad wife, you will become a philosopher like me.

16. No matter how beautiful the face is, it will grow old one day. I think I may not be able to bear this loss, so I have never looked good.

17. Today, when I was rushing to work by bus, I only heard an uncle say, "We are in no hurry, let the young people go first, and they are in a hurry to go to work." At that time, I thought my uncle was so handsome, and then he said, "Anyway, we can get seats no matter how late we get on the bus."

18. My mother-in-law sent this cookbook to her daughter-in-law, with the intention of letting her learn how to cook. As a result, the daughter-in-law was very shy and said to her mother-in-law: Mom, you are very kind. You are so tired every day, and you let me order food for me. This is not appropriate!

19. Every time a wife quarrels with her husband, she goes to the toilet for half a day. This happens more often, and the husband asks her curiously, "What are you doing in the toilet? It seems quite Japanese? " The wife said, "Brush the toilet!" The husband asked, "Can I get rid of the gas by brushing the toilet?" The wife said: I don't know, anyway, I used your toothbrush.