Last night, my daughter took her boyfriend home for dinner for the first time. I got him drunk as soon as I was happy. I didn't expect this boy to drink badly. He was drunk and secretly told me to take me to the lady. I'm still very angry. How can my daughter have a crush on such a man who doesn't keep his word!
Me: Honey, do you like me being a lady? Or coquettish? Boyfriend: I just hope you can be as obscure as my ex-girlfriend. Me: Are you still an ex-girlfriend? I don't know! Boyfriend: Inflatable. Throw it away after use. She never complains.
A man slept with a girl who had a boyfriend. The girl asked him why he didn't marry her. A man replied: I went too far and stole other people's food. Why should I take someone else's pot?
Today, my relatives are getting married, and my husband is going to attend the wedding. He sent me a photo, and I replied with four words: cabbage is good. . . Husband: Pigs are also quite fat! God, when did our communication become so meaningful?
Sixth, the height of this thing is more than one meter, so there is nothing to ask; Weight is such a thing, everyone is less than 200 pounds, there is nothing to ask for; There is nothing to ask about such a thing as salary.
Seven, this broadcast gymnastics is too fake. Girls have been doing chest enlargement exercises for more than ten years and it has no effect at all ~
8. On blind date, I asked: What do you do? M: I work in indoor light control equipment. I thought it was high-tech, for fear that people would think I didn't know anything and didn't have the courage to ask, but I was flattered. I learned later, damn it, it's a curtain seller. . .
Nine, go to the public toilet and find a girl inside. . . I stayed for a few seconds and then hurried out. Think again, it's not right! I didn't say I was sorry, so I went in again. . .
Ten, accompany the buddies to blind date. He sneezed as soon as I sat down. Just when I said hello rudely, I saw my colleague silently look up and say, sorry, I'm allergic to beautiful women and I can't help it. I admire it. Too fucking witty.
Chatting with my best friend, I told him that I had to find a handsome guy to marry for my next generation. As a result, the idiot said that the handsome boy would not marry you for the next generation.
In the coffee shop, he sat quietly opposite me, sipping a cappuccino carefully. He was so dazzling that he attracted the attention of all the audience. After all, I couldn't hold back and said to him carefully: I remember seeing you just now, or on the street corner. He stared at me with a smile on his lips: You are tired from work, so relax. I was speechless and choked up. After all, there are not many beggars who are so literary now. . . Unexpectedly!
Thirteen. After his mother knew about her boyfriend, my aunt locked her boyfriend at home and refused to see me. I begged outside the door, and menstruation said behind the door, Go home, I am an only child. Me: Aunt, if you let us be together, you will have two sons. . .
Fourteen, a buddy loves to show off his wealth. One day, he invited him to dinner and said, I don't lack anything now. I have a house, a car and a deposit. I don't even know what to let her bring. At this time, a sister next to her said faintly: You can ask her to bring you a child!
It is said that it is a good idea to fall to the ground with the old lady when touching porcelain. You can forget it. Now the old lady is blaming me for sleeping with him. I must take full responsibility. . . . . . I hate you guys who are blind to ideas! ! !
Sixteen, mom, because you won't let me fall in love, I can't find anyone now! That's why you're not allowed to fall in love, or you'll know you can't find it.
Woman: Honey, do you think my breasts are big? Man: mmm! Like two mines! Woman: Bah! Karen's house is not that big! Man: mmm! Buried in the soil!
Eighteen, a brother said that his wife ran away with a man and was very sad. He asked me to go to a bar. After comforting him in the bar for a long time, I realized that it was his wife who took her son back to her mother's house. Lie in the trough! who the hell are all these people？
Nineteen, the woman with a knife said to her boyfriend with tears: You actually let me do that. We have been together since college, and it has been two years now. Do you deserve me? Oh, honey, stop it. Just cut an onion. Is it necessary? I'll cut it if it's a big deal
Today, I went shopping with a goddess who has been secretly in love for a long time. When you see an idiot friend, go up and say hello. He saw us and asked me, is this your girlfriend? I slapped you when I went up: Who the fuck let you spoil it!
I didn't know what I should be good at since I was a child. In desperation, we have to develop in an all-round way.
Classic humorous sentences with the most connotation, humorous jokes with super connotation.
Classic humorous sentences with the most connotation
1. People are not afraid of death. What they fear most is that they don't know how to live.
2. Life is nothing more than making others smile and occasionally smiling at others.
If one day I disappear, there are only two possibilities: my body is traveling or my soul is traveling.
Life is colorful, but I also have my own color.
Although you are restless, you should keep yourself.
The real meaning of the iron rice bowl is not to have food in one place, but to have food everywhere all your life.
7. Stealing one person's ideas is plagiarism, and stealing many people's ideas is research.
8. My father commented on my obesity: Han Hong didn't die, but Han Hong was ill.
9. I have never cheated you, because I have never cheated you.
10. My lover is a stunning beauty. One day she will marry me on a fire-breathing dinosaur, but I saw her mount, but I didn't see her master.
1 1. Not afraid of enemies like tigers, but afraid of teammates like pigs!
12. You look very creative and live bravely!
13. Many people have jumped off buildings recently, so be careful not to be hit.
14. Exercise muscles to prevent being beaten!
15. Judge: Why do you print counterfeit money? The defendant said innocently, because I can't print real money.
16. Loneliness is a person's carnival, and carnival is the loneliness of a group of people.
17. Being pregnant is like being pregnant. It takes a long time for people to see it.
18. Reduce the number of boys behind each girl to six!
19. Look into my eyes and you will see persistence and sincerity except shit.
20. Lei Feng did a good deed without leaving a name, but everything was recorded in his diary.
2 1. Don't ask me for anything, let alone anything!
In order to make the contract attractive, the contractor subtracted a tractor from it.
23. I am responsible for unloading a lot of charcoal and coal in the coal mine.
24. I look at you smiling, silent, proud and depressed, just like now, so I am happy with you and sad with you, but I have always stood in the present, and you will always stay in the past.
25. I watched Okubo Matsuo grow up. She died last year. I grew up watching Jackson's MV. He died this year. Now, I decided to watch CCTV grow up.
Super humorous and meaningful jokes.
1. The strong man among us strongly hates this bad thing.
2. Everything I can't let go is because I can't have it ~ ~
Angels can fly because they despise themselves.
4. Be independent and don't depend on anyone or anything, because when many pillars leave, you will fall back to the ground.
The best way is not to blame him or hate him. The party is transparent, and revenge is more important.
6. A man like you who kept his mouth shut about his achievements was shot long ago during the Cultural Revolution.
7. What should I pay attention to when selling Meng? Pay attention to appearance
8. Learning Japanese is mostly watching cartoons, learning Korean is mostly idolizing, learning French is mostly pretending to be literary, and learning English is mostly pretending.
9. When people say they hate me, I immediately laugh, which makes you unhappy and makes me feel very happy.
10. After you get married, if the groom is not me, I will move in next door to your house and treat your children better than my own until your husband doubts life.
1 1. Making money is an ability and spending money is a technology. My ability is limited, but my skill is high.
12. What eight words can make a man make a phone call rain or shine? Come and drink, all women!
13. Success in recent years can be divided into three categories: login success, download success and payment success.
14. Say, what else can you eat? Still hungry.
15. It is said that beggars in Dubai earn 470,000 yuan a month. How about a trip for two in Dubai? I take you, you take the bowl, I cry, you kneel and shout.
The most humorous classic contains funny jokes.
1. Don't be lazy with me, I'm too lazy to compare with you.
2. If you are high, you can look up from a distance, fall to a low place and enjoy it quietly.
3. You know what, Big Brother? Second brother's meat is now more expensive than master's.
4. Excuse me! I'm already dead! But thank you for coming to see me! See you tonight 12!
5. I am drunk and won't accept anyone, just hold the wall!
6. Play hard: You can only play if you have a life. If your life is gone, what can you play?
7. I thought I was decadent, but I was scrapped!
8. If cigarettes are not obedient, we will smoke.
9. How far a person can go depends on who he walks with; How good a person is depends on who gives him advice; How successful a person is depends on who he is with.
10. The hero is very sad about Beauty Pass. I'm not a hero, but the beauty let me through.
People who read the most meaningful classic humorous sentences also read:
Humorous and meaningful sentences
Interesting and meaningful sentences (classic)
1) Men think it's flirting, while women think it's affection.
2) Xia said: Your Majesty, I will wait for you to become a monster by Daming Lake.
3) I'm sorry I didn't grow into what you like.
4) Let me give you a happy Mother's Day: Hello, wife, you are the big leader of our family. Mother's Day is really good. You have a holiday and I work hard.
5) Your hypocrisy gradually made me see your true colors.
6) If I can't be Teletubbies and Spongebob, I'll be a computer baby.
7) Everything in this world can be fake, but the only thing I can't stand is that the money in my hand is fake.
8) I bought a razor online, and my hands are shaking after shaving.
9) It's too late to give up, only to find that betrayal is indifferent and I don't know how to face it.
10) I haven't weighed myself for half a year because of my heart. Inches. Yes. Count.
1 1) When I woke up, I thought I was taller, but the quilt cover was horizontal.
12) the head shape is not hard, and love is uncertain. The leather shoes are not bright, so I can't find the object.
13) How many times have I told her? If I go back and look at my weakness, I will die.
14) It's a waste to keep a body to do.
15) Never learn from others whether the person you love is good or not, and whether you feel love.
Interesting and meaningful sentences (popular articles)
1) should have been heartless, but now there is no need to tear your heart out.
2) My principle is that if people don't attack me, I won't attack; If someone attacks me, I will be angry.
3) I want to be RMB in my next life so that you will never forget me.
4) Tanks bound for spring!
5) Never believe what the lyrics say. They can write anything that rhymes!
6) I want to write your name on the cigarette, breathe it into my lungs, and leave you in the nearest place!
7) Other women can lose weight. Why not? Are you an idiot? Should you be born a fat pig?
8) running snails.
9) What you can't go back is the past, what you can't reach is the future, and only the present can be grasped.
10) As the saying goes, rabbits don't eat grass beside their nests; But as the saying goes: the moon comes first near the water tower!
1 1) When the teacher said to put things unrelated to the exam on the podium, I really wanted to put myself on it.
12) I also called myself naive.
13) The difference between you and a plate of shit is that you don't have a plate.
14) Tanabata is coming again. . . The first part: envy and jealousy; Bottom line: emptiness, loneliness and cold; Horizontal criticism: paralyzing my singleness.
15) No one has died since ancient times, so you die first.
16) top student's performance, the goddess' selfie, the local tyrant's money, the model's figure, and Laozi's holiday house basking in the sun!
17) The only thing I can put down at this age is chopsticks.
18) I love myself and have many opponents.
19) When I was a child, I had no money at home, and I always used a rope to fly kites with a plastic bag tied behind it.
20) Gradually, I learned your habit of speaking. Paranoia, dislike, is a habit.
Interesting and meaningful sentences (latest)
1) [If you really make the toilet cry, the faucet cry and the incandescent lamp burst, then I can only worship you]
2) Beautiful spring: The scenery in spring is beautiful and lovely. Example: Spring is beautiful and a hundred flowers are blooming.
3) You said you still love me. Do you have the persistence of my love?
4) Recently, a sister paper in QQ talked about the summer heat and how to cool it off. A man downstairs replied: Sister!
Doctor, please give me some regret medicine and a glass of forgetfulness water.
6) Why are you as weak as a child when you talk?
7) How many nights should I spend without you?
8) It is polite to smile at you. Don't smile at me, you big face.
9) If you don't like me, I will castrate you and be my sister.
10) Origin, I saw you in the crowd; Fate, I see you, in the crowd.
1 1) You snuck into my room, wandered around my bed and tried to kiss me, damn it, you mosquito!
12) I came quietly and left quietly, waving a dagger and leaving no one alive.
13) They all say that my sister is beautiful, but in fact, she is wearing makeup.
14) 【 Don't give up your lover because of a passing bitch. ]
15) Give it to me. Writing a composition is to make up lies and bring draft paper.
16) Seeing someone in summer is not so hot as warm, so you probably like it.
17) The more you want it, the more you pretend it doesn't matter; The more afraid of losing, the more pretending not to care.
18) Being alive is the last word.
19) Heroes don't ask for a way out, hooligans don't look at their age!
20) How long is a minute? It depends on whether you are squatting in the toilet or waiting outside.
People who have read funny and meaningful sentences have also read:
Humorous and funny classic sentences have connotations.
Classical humorous sentences have connotations (I) 1. You can steal my sentence or my expression, but if you steal my heart, I will call my husband.
I will be thin and rich for the rest of my life.
Efforts to reject social rules are all in vain.
4. Be fat first, but not fat later.
The last bus of happiness is not missed, but not crowded.
6. There are no friends in the workplace, the boss is not your friend, and neither are colleagues.
7. The word "grow up" doesn't even exist in the capital, so it looks lonely at first glance.
8. Time will not dilute the pain, time will only make people get used to it.
9. It doesn't matter if your head is empty. The key is not to get into the water.
10. Mom and Dad are really amazing creatures. They believe all the rumors in their circle of friends, but they will expose your lies at a glance.
1 1. I tried to close the refrigerator door slowly and see when the lights went out.
12. Love is that if there is no better choice, I will accompany you forever.
13. Every time I want to quit, I comfort myself like this: beauty and ugliness are determined by fate, and fat and thin are in the sky. If God wants me to be fat, I will leave it to fate!
14. No matter what you face, since you have reached this point, stick to it; Give yourself some affirmation, you are stronger than you think.
15. No one's luck comes out of thin air. You will be lucky only if you work hard enough. The world will not live up to every effort and persistence, and time will not neglect every persistent and brave person!
The humorous classic sentence has connotation (part two) 16. In my mother's eyes, the origin of all diseases is because I don't drink water, eat vegetables and go to bed early.
17. If one day I hack you, it's not that I hate you, but that I can't afford what you sell.
18. Just now, my other half suddenly sent me a message saying that we were going to break up. Before I was sad, he sent another one. Sorry, it was sent to the wrong person. Scared me to death. I thought we were really breaking up.
19. Don't envy that we have no homework during the holiday. Do you know how tired it is to play all day?
It is said that many people look at the time in the morning not to get up, but to see how long they can sleep.
2 1. At that time, his ambition won the whole world, and now he retires only for him.
Listen to me, you have lost several times, but you will make a comeback.
23. When I hate someone, if this person suddenly says that he likes me, then I don't hate each other at all. It's so principled. You can't hate a man with vision.
24. Nothing that can be solved with money is a problem, but how to have money is your biggest problem.
25. Commitment is like farting. It was earth-shattering, and then it was pale and powerless.
My boyfriend is considerate of me. In order not to disturb me, he hasn't come to see me for more than ten years, which is very warm.
27. With your looks, you don't need to lose weight at all. Now you can use obesity as an excuse for ugliness, but after losing weight, there is no excuse.
28. There is no limit to human potential. Only by working hard can we know our true strength. Because the direction of the tree, the wind determines. You decide your own direction.
29. It is more difficult to think, think, think, think, think and give up in life. A lot of things, you can't let go if you want to, and you can give up if you want to. There are always some things in life that you know are wrong, but you always insist on, but you always guard when you know it is not good.
30. As long as I work hard, there is nothing I can't screw up.