A complete collection of the funniest jokes

A complete collection of the funniest jokes. In real life, some people like some funny jokes very much. Humor is the killer in daily life. It is easy to close the distance between them by telling funny jokes casually. The following is about sharing the contents of the complete collection of the funniest jokes. 1

1. The wind is like a crazy lion roaring and making deafening sounds. The tree was painfully shaken by the wind and whined.

2. I pissed off my girlfriend again. It's no use apologizing. She angrily walked around the house: Hum! I want to buy an expensive thing! As soon as I heard it, it turned around! Spend money to eliminate disasters! Immediately say: ok! I'll go shopping with you. Then we went to the commodity market and bought a washboard.

3. Sleep is an art, and no one can stop me from pursuing art!

4. When you grow up, [marry] Tang Priest as your husband, play if you can, or eat him if you can't.

5. Doing well in the exam depends on sitting at the same table.

6. Breaking up is boring. Let's have a divorce if we can!

7. I am small-minded, but I don't lack it. I have a good temper, but I don't lack it!

8. You'd better let me kneel on the washboard. Kneeling on the electric heater is really unbearable!

9. Women like two flowers best in their life: one is to spend money, and the other is to spend as much as possible!

11, two birds with the same life, a pair of poor butterflies.

11. Who do you think you are? You are the spilled water. I don't even want a basin.

12. My grandmother said that I was born from my knee. As soon as my mother bent her leg, I was pushed out from her knee.

13. As the saying goes, if you laugh, the whole world laughs with you. You cry, and you are the only one crying in the world.

14, the so-called holiday, at home, go out without money, especially free every day.

15. People have lived their whole lives. Don't be too cold in winter, too hot in summer, don't pretend to be poor if you have money, and don't show off if you don't have money. Instead of frowning, you might as well steal to laugh. Friends often remember, and they are happy all their lives!

16. Stupid man+stupid woman = marriage; Stupid man+smart woman = divorce; Smart man+stupid woman = extramarital affairs; Smart man+smart woman = romantic love.

17. God said there should be light, but I said I opposed it, so there was darkness in the world.

18, I am a civilized person, and all swearing words have been disinfected with saliva.

19, the face is a thing outside the body, but it is necessary, and money is necessary.

21. The geography teacher asked: What are the four oceans? I answered: pleasant goat, beautiful goat, lazy goat, boiling goat

21. I am so tired that I want to make a cut on the back of my head, and then I collapsed on the ground to install a piggy bank.

22. When I see a beautiful woman, I first feel in my pocket to see if I have any money! The funniest joke 2

1. Traveling by plane, sitting next to a couple. Send that kind of set meal on the plane, I said to my husband: Look at the one next to others, women can't finish it, men eat the rest, so loving. Husband said faintly: Will you be left?

2. When my uncle came to visit, Xiaowen said to his mother, "Mom, I'm going to the zoo to see the monkeys.". Mother immediately snarled, "What monkey are you looking at? Your uncle is here, what zoo are you going to? "

3. My wife bought a hamster and a cage. I asked her how much it was, and she said how many hamsters and cages there were. I complained that this cage is more expensive than hamster. The second goods replied, "Do you think you will be higher than the current house price?"

4. When I was in high school, the penultimate student in my class never came to school and spent all day in Internet cafes. But it is strange that he comes to every exam and never misses it. Later, we discovered that before every exam, the penultimate member of the class would go to the Internet cafe to pay the penultimate member $11, begging him to take the exam ...

5. When I was in college, I heard a roommate say that a friend of his expressed his feelings: "Brother is getting married." Message by message: "Your boy won't get on the boat first and then make up the ticket, right? Congratulations!" Reply later: "It's not me, it's my brother ..."

6. The wife asked her husband: "If I were crazy, would you still love me?" The husband said firmly: "Love!" The wife pondered for a while and said sadly, "You really love my appearance!" "

7. The wife asked her husband, "Do you like my tenderness or are you infatuated with my sexy figure?" The husband was embarrassed for a while and replied, "I like your sense of humor!" ！”

8. Walking with my boyfriend, I like to hug his waist and pull his clothes by the way. One day while walking, he suddenly said, "Will you stop pulling my clothes?" I was unhappy and said, "can't you add a baby when you talk to me?" Then he said, "Don't pull my baby clothes, okay?" Me: "..."

9. After the two mice got married, the mother mouse became more and more arrogant. One night, the male mouse wanted to scare her, so he went to the door to learn to meow. Not only was the wife not afraid, but she said tenderly, "Mao Ge, stop screaming, my husband hasn't gone on a business trip yet."

11, "I like to get to the bottom of it since I was a child. When I grow up, my wish is to be a detective. Now I am the editor-in-chief of a newspaper. What about you?"

"I like playing since I was a child. When I grow up, my wish is to go shopping with a lot of money. Now I am a bus conductor." The funniest joke 3

1. When the old couple went to take pictures, the photographer asked, "Grandpa, do you want side light, backlight or full light? "My uncle said shyly," I don't care. Can you leave a pair of underpants for your aunt? "

2. Two jiaozi got married. After seeing off the guests, the groom went back to the bedroom and found a meatball lying on the bed! The groom was frightened and asked where the bride was. Meatballs said shyly: hate, you don't know people when they take off their clothes!

3. Four mice brag: A: I eat rat poison as candy every day; B: I feel itchy if I don't step on mice for a day; C: I don't go to the street for a few times a day. D: It's getting late. Let's go home and hug the cat.

4. A group of ants climbed up the elephant's back, but were shaken down. Only one ant clung to the elephant's neck. The ants below shouted: strangle him, strangle him, small sample, it's fucking backwards!

5. A puppy climbed onto your dining table and crawled towards a roast chicken. You were furious and said, If you dare to do anything to that roast chicken, I will dare to do anything to you. As a result, the puppy licked the chicken's ass, and you fainted. The puppy said happily, Let's see who is cruel.

6. The mouse was particularly depressed because he didn't have a girlfriend. Finally, a bat agreed to marry him, and the mouse was very happy. Others laughed at his lack of vision. Mouse: What do you know? She is a stewardess at least.

7. The ant is lying lazily in the soil, stretching out a leg. What is your friend asking you? Ant: Later the elephant comes and stumbles him.

8. A woman is ugly and can't get married, hoping to be trafficked. Finally, my dream came true, but I couldn't sell it for half a month. The kidnapper sent him back, and she insisted on not getting off the bus. The kidnapper gritted his teeth and stamped his foot: Go, don't want the car.

9. Frog and toad became brothers. Toad said: I am the eldest brother. Frog said: no, you see the zit on your body is still there. I must be the big brother!

11. A real estate agent advertised "Buy a house, give furniture" to promote the house. Someone bought a new house, decorated it and went to get the furniture. Realtor: Your furniture?