Humorous jokes about travel

Humorous jokes are laughter inspired by the humor generated by other people's behavior and words, which can achieve some aesthetic effects such as banter and pleasure, communication and enjoyment. Share a joke about tourism humor, let's have a look!

1. A tourist came to Beijing. After playing for three days, he planned to go to Jilin, but he didn't know the way. So he asked a policeman, "Comrade, how can I get to Changchun?" The policeman thought for a moment and said, "Take Metro Line 1 to Changchun Street."

2. There are so many people in the bus. When the buddy arrives at the station, he wants to get off the bus. He squeezes out with all his strength. There are so many people who don't sew, and someone pushes up below. At this time, there is a fire in his heart. The harder he squeezes, the more he doesn't move. The door closes and starts again. At this time, he is helpless and depressed. The bus fails to get off. Finally, he pulls to the terminal and gets off the bus. . .

3. The bus smells of sweat and perfume. When you get off the bus, step on the elder sister's leg. Walk carefully in the crowded lane. Don't annoy people again. Watch the opportunity to get off your leg and don't step on others' feet!

4. In that year, the snow was sudden, and the bridge collapsed. I took the bus at 5 o'clock. After 1 hours, I was still at the original point. In order to go to school, I got off the bus decisively, ran in the snow, shuttled in the car, and walked as fast as Liu Xiang. When I got to school, I became a snowman, and I was laughing when I opened the door. I asked why you were late again.

5. I went out to play with my wallet full at the weekend, and the crowd was looking for him. The thief was at the corner of the bus platform, watching me wait for the bus, and followed, aiming at the opportunity and waiting for an opportunity to start. Unexpectedly, I caught him on the spot, even calling my big brother for forgiveness, contemptuously looking at him and sending him a sentence: "I have confiscated the sneaky puppy."

6. My brother-in-law drove me to school, but I couldn't get away from the traffic jam. My brother-in-law asked me to catch up on my sleep first, and the traffic police patted us and said, "I'm actually sleeping in the middle of the road." I didn't expect my brother-in-law to take a nap, too. Embarrassed, we smiled slightly with the traffic police and ran to school.

7. In high school, I got up at 7 o'clock every day to catch the bus. My clothes were untidy, and I didn't buy breakfast. In summer, the hot air in the car came out, and I stamped my feet in winter. In the morning, the bus speed was extremely fast. The master came to show me the technology and actually played drift, which scared my soul away.

8. In summer, a young man was crowded with buses, and next to him was a scantily clad girl who glared at him from time to time. Suddenly, a wave of force crowded in, and the young man was about to fall on the girl, shouting anxiously: Stop squeezing, and squeeze me into a hooligan again!

9. An old lady and a small group quarreled in the car. The old lady said, "How can you do this? I can be your grandmother, and you still flirt with me?" The young man said, "Who molested you? You are always like this. Who will be interested in you?" The old lady said, "If you are not interested, why are you staring at my chest?" The young man said, "I didn't look at you. I was looking at the button on the beauty's chest next to you. I was thinking about how to remind the beauty."

11. One day, a Chinese stepped on a foreigner's foot. The foreigner was very unhappy: "You put your foot on top of mine (it hurts me)." China people listen: "You put your foot under me (you hurt me)."

11. When I hit a taxi with a buddy, the driver said 17 yuan when I got off the bus. The buddy was busy rummaging through his bag to find money. I took out a 21 yuan ticket and handed it to the driver, and said to the buddy, Keep the change! Who knows that my buddy hasn't answered yet, just listening to the driver say: thank you!

12. When a young woman gets on the bus, she hides the money in her chest to prevent stealing. When she gets off the bus, she should report it. The money is also stolen in her chest, and the police uncle also wonders. Is it easy to get it in sensitive areas? The young woman blushed slightly, thinking that he was a figure, but she didn't expect money to be the target!

13. Every time I go home on holiday, I will encounter a car accident. Once, a truck pulling pigs collided with a car in expressway. As a result, there was nothing wrong with people. There were piles of pig carcasses on the road, and two pigs were grazing beside them.

14, take the subway to be strong, even shouting and screaming around, but the security guards can't help but shake their heads. This kind of battle is like a war. Some people shouted "step on my foot", some people shouted "my bag", some people grabbed the seat for a moment, and some people shouted "I'm going to be late". The sea of people is really spectacular, and life on the subway is so difficult. . .

15. Looking down from a tall building, there are a lot of cars and pedestrians, sighing about safety. Small cars stick needles at the seams, big cars take up half of the road, and some even run red lights, which makes traffic safety worry. . .

16. There were no roads in the world, and there were roads when there were more cars. There were no cars in the world, but there were cars when there were more people sitting. There was no traffic jam in the world, but there were more people and cars. The world was beautiful, and more people who cared about the environment would be beautiful.

17. The old bus was fun, and it was airtight in all directions. Once I was sitting in the bus, it suddenly started to rain. The passengers in the bus were busy closing the windows, raising their hands and closing the skylight. I thought it was nothing. As a result, the roof was still leaking, and I couldn't keep my eyes straight. Suddenly, someone opened an umbrella and sat in the car to keep out the rain. This scene was fun for everyone, and it was more fun to ride in the rain. . .

18, it's really hard for office workers, and it's really annoying to squeeze the bus. In order to earn two dollars, the bus is to save money, and the city is full of buses, which is a waste of time. I have no choice but to say nothing, so I try my best to squeeze up and try my best to squeeze in.

19. The bus platform is crowded with people. It's really hard to buy a one-yuan bus. The air conditioner can't be turned on. He takes two yuan. I'm a darling. The yellow seats are all children, and the rest are old people asking old women. This is not a bus ride. It's all crowded and people are looking forward to coming home quickly.

21. Once I went out to take a bus, two women in front were talking. Just bought a prepaid phone card, take out your mobile phone and enter the password; A young man next to the beautiful woman quickly remembers this password; The action is flexible and successful, and the two beautiful women are stupid; Always prompt the card to be invalid, thinking that you have been fooled; Dear friends, be alert, and be careful when operating in the car.

21. I finally got on the bus and walked. Suddenly, there was a sudden brake, and a short man jumped forward perfectly. When he stood up, the tall man next to him smiled proudly and said, "This is the advantage of being tall." When I got off at the station, the short man got off easily, but the tall man ran into the door. The short man smiled: "this is the advantage of the short man."

22. When the old lady comes to town for the first time, she can't use the bus card. One day, I went to the mall by bus, and it was very respectful to give the driver the card when I got on the bus. The driver asked the old lady to swipe her card first, and the old lady looked at the credit card machine and was stunned; How to brush without a brush? The driver saw stars when he listened.

23. Two men kept staring at a well-dressed woman: "I look like a chicken." At this time, the woman took two dogs out of her bag: "What eyes? These are obviously two dogs. "

24. One day, on the bus, a father summed up the legendary swordsman's characters for his son: Ling Huchong's martial arts have reached the point where immortals paint. Later, his son asked him: Dad, why can you practice the martial arts of immortals painting with a pot punch?

25. My friend was so stupid that he was in a hurry to catch the bus. There were too many people in the bus, so he had to stand back in the chair and sit on the beautiful woman. He was surprised to see him. The friend was beautiful in his heart and smiled back. The beautiful woman's eyes flashed at him, but the friend didn't understand. The beautiful woman looked at her in surprise. She frowned and didn't close the door. The friend was shocked to hear the words, and quickly looked down and forgot to zip her pants.

26. I went out by car and suddenly broke down on the way. The driver told everyone that I could wait for the next bus to change. An old woman in the countryside was walking and chanting when she got off the bus: It's so hot that even the car can't stand it. Look, she doesn't even work. It's not as good as my livestock.

27. One day, a young woman led her son in one hand and a dog in the other. On the way, suddenly, her son said, Mom, I have peed. Mom is furious: Didn't I tell you to take off your pants when you pee? The son said in fear, Mom, the puppy peed.

28. Our travel agency has recently launched a bus tour. Due to the long journey, passengers are not advised to sleep and drink water at night before getting on the bus. They can sit and stand to sleep after getting on the bus. In order to alleviate the boredom of some passengers who can't see the scenery outside the window, the car has launched an activity of guessing the speed and winning the grand prize. I hope passengers and friends will actively participate.

29. "Yugong has no way to move mountains, and it is difficult to move mountains today. There will be traffic jams when going to work by car, and it is too far to go to work by bike. The 11 bus is quite convenient. After a while, Yugong will be reincarnated quickly. Now there is no need to move mountains, move people to Taihang Mountain and widen the road!"

31. On my way to work this morning, I saw a woman wearing lipstick in the rearview mirror while driving, and she was at least 81 kilometers per hour. I thought this woman must be crazy. What I didn't expect was that she suddenly cut into my driveway by force, and I was shocked. As a result, the electric razor fell into the cup and the coffee spilled all over. (

31. I went out early today, thinking that there were few people by car, and I found that people were flooding, the speed was like a turtle jogging, and I was anxious to look at my watch on an empty stomach, and I was going to be late again. Going to work was like suffering. When will happiness come?

32. I took a bus to work one day, and suddenly I saw a private car in front of me was slow, and a sign was put in the back seat, which clearly said "novice". The bus followed the next paragraph, and the driver felt that it was difficult to drive, which was even more ridiculous. There was a saying at the back of the private car: Older women must marry after rear-end collision.

33. I usually go out by car. Once I took my daughter to travel by train and bought her some delicious food in the middle. My daughter danced and said, "Oh, oh, food is served on the train." It made all the passengers in the car laugh.

34, the traffic flow is endless, and the car suffers from people. Too much traffic, choose the number to travel, overcrowding, it is better to divert; It's too difficult to bridge a bridge in case of water and make a hole in case of road. just visiting, it's better. If you make a profit, why don't you take the tunnel first?

35. Passerby A: "I heard that the recent increase in gasoline prices has increased the traffic pressure." Passerby B: "Yes, I heard that the South China Sea will be restricted by single and double from August 1, with single eyelids traveling every single day, double eyelids traveling every two days, and a single pair traveling at night; For those who wear sunglasses, they will be treated as deliberately blocking the number plate; For blind travelers, they are treated as unlicensed; For those who cut double eyelids, they should be dealt with according to the deck. "

36. A couple was driving home, and the bus was caught in a traffic jam. My wife asked, aren't you willing to do anything for me? Go talk to the driver and tell him to hurry up. I'm late, so my husband couldn't help it. He went over and told the driver that the driver was very depressed, and you are mentally retarded. If you can hurry up, your wife would be my wife.

37. I went to dinner by car one day, and the car was already crowded; A beautiful woman getting on the bus is really eye-catching and new; The seat next to the station is empty, and the aunt is called to come and take it; Aunt hasn't squeezed in yet, and the beauty of grabbing a seat becomes annoying; Sitting at the table is still depressed, just now "beauty" sat next to him; I'm sick to death, and it's even more unpleasant for my friends to get together.

38. A beautiful woman gets on the bus, with her ass facing the card reader; The noise passed into the car, and the old lady behind her was suspicious; Put your ass up, too, and pursed it three times without ringing, regardless of going in; When the driver saw it, he was anxious: Auntie, please come and coin in; As soon as the old lady heard her anger, the beautiful woman took out her card to slow down her breath.

39. When I went back to school by bus, I met a taxi and had to squeeze in front of the bus. The bus driver couldn't stand it and said, Damn taxi? The taxi driver was upset, backed up, walked behind the bus and added: damn bus.

41. I often remember the past by car. I didn't know my way home in rainy days, but I rushed home on the way, and I got into many cars by mistake. How did I cross, how did I cross, and I was splashed with mud! The owner of the car looked back and marveled: why is the clay sculpture so realistic and drove away! ;