I regret becoming a cat.

At this moment, my body is writhing in my clothes without moving. Tightening my waistline keeps me standing upright all the time, and my back spine seems to be going up. This sense of urgency makes the internal organs have to relax for a moment, and the precious air is filled with the full chest. This is really torture!

? 1

This is the 31th day I regret that I want to be a woman like a cat.

I want to be a cat, soft and elegant from the skin. But I feel a little depressed, because there is no surprise in the next step. Lunch is still a dull fat-reducing meal, brown rice slides down the smooth esophagus, and the chicken breast without oil is exposed in a pale plate without beauty. Without the intake of sweets, this continuous low-calorie diet occasionally collapses silently.

every step seems to be the same as 31 days ago, but a little different. I stepped on high heels and walked gracefully, having dinner downstairs in the company. The parasol in the open air and the blowing Xia Feng are familiar.

The only surprise may be the newly-installed white palm in the corner. The leaves that have just been watered are more and more bright green, like a beautiful woman with a slender head and neck, and her side face stands still.

hi. Someone tapped the corner of the table to say hello and asked, can you spell the table?

I looked away and happened to bump into his clear smiling eyes. The rhythm of my heart rose instantly, and I tried to keep my voice calm.

this should be the thirtieth time I have met him. He is so good-looking, I remember him once I saw him. I remember seeing him for the first time, in this restaurant, at noon. Black backpack and blue and white plaid shirt outline a beautiful chest line with a gentleman's unique posture, which should be the result of long-term fitness.

yes, I remember him from the first time he walked in the door. However, it was the first time that he was so close to me, so close that he could see pores and hear breathing.

he ordered an avocado salad and smoked chicken pasta. I ordered a Caesar salad. Very tacitly, I finished this lunch without a word. Nodding goodbye after a meal, like a stranger meeting for the first time.

However, I know his name, Shujie, from the work card he put on the table.

on the way back, I always wondered if his abdominal muscles would be as outstanding as his name. A brief encounter, like a flower falling into the water, ripples silently.

I choose to be a woman like a cat, because I have lived like a dog.

Ten years after graduation, campus lovers become middle-aged couples. Trivial, quarreling, resentful and abusive words erode everything away, and their hearts are like a building hollowed out by termites, which is in jeopardy. Since the shy days didn't make my life better, why didn't I choose a self-harmony with a certain degree of alienation?

When Mr. Wang pulls open the curtain, points to the girl on the street corner and scolds loudly, look at others and yourself. Shouldn't you feel sad and ashamed of yourself for the fat you have gained for so many years? I suddenly had a dream. In this world, everyone will change. Grow old, ugly, disgusting, vulgar, and useless. Sit quietly by the window, recalling the process from whispering to hysteria, crying without breath, and quietly cleaning up these pieces. Yes, just myself.

I shouldn't have too many illusions about myself. I just tighten my waist, draw eyebrows and try my best to be delicate and gentle. This hobby of fur care is inherent in women.

but now, I still regret becoming a cat. Because this tracing process took forty minutes in the golden morning. Do you know what I can do in forty minutes? I can wash yesterday's clothes and make a big breakfast! Waste, waste, waste! I shouted frantically with anxiety in my heart, but my hands still carried on quietly.

I know, it is necessary.

Second

Today is the 61th day since I became a cat, and I seem to be somewhat adapted to this state.

I want to be a cat, starting with silence and listening, supported by my own gaze and interpretation. After the reunion of college classmates, Yun Mei dragged me to get together again. Under the dim light of night, she lit a 521, a long wave diverged on one side, and white smoke rings were spit out from her red lips, enchanting. Her skin is very good, as usual, and her expression is flashing, revealing a mysterious and mature charm.

Yunyi used to be a good friend in my dormitory. As the name suggests, she is a beautiful person. When I was in college, there were often boys lying on the balcony watching her walk. Her breasts were full of peaches and seemed to be full of juice. There were boys from other schools who went around saying that she slept all over the campus.

I am a late bloomer, especially for men and women. I haven't been in love for four years, but I have been friends with such a girl for four years. We talk about the future and ideals, but never talk about feelings. However, after graduating from college, we only had occasional contact.

I remember one year before graduation, I saw her shopping with a middle-aged man with a paunchy belly, arm in arm. I met her, and she met me, and then passed by. The man's hand was touching her delicate waist. This matter was never mentioned in our later exchanges. I think I should respect her life and choices. She is still my friend, but I don't think she is the best one.

In the night, YunTi took a sip of wine and spoke to me for the first time about her emotional experience over the years. The man before graduation was her first patron, a mature rich man with a family. Ironically, it was introduced by her mother who divorced in her early years.

I think it must be because she is so beautiful that many men are intoxicated. Especially full breasts, sweet and soft, everyone wants to kiss.

Yunti said that after more than ten relationships and countless one-night stands with her, she finally married a rich second generation with three marriages. At first, they enjoyed the pleasure of the body every day, day and night. Later, it was derailed, derailed, and repeated, like a farce and a fate. She told the stories of these years as if no one had ever listened to her, all at once, thoroughly, and in every detail.

I think all this sounds more like a story with an early ending.

Look at her quietly, see her pain, see her sadness. But at the moment, I feel a little sorry, maybe I even lost this friend.

After drinking a cup of Long Island iced tea, her blurred eyes made the night more intoxicated. Her natural peach blossom eyes seem to be a deep pool, charming and weak, which makes people want to explore irrepressibly.

in the second cup, she wrapped her long hair around her fingers, gently lifted it back and put it down, and the fragrance spread from the tip, and she had a strong desire to wrap the surrounding air. At the moment, her phone rang, and after a while, she asked the person on the other end of the phone to pick her up.

ten minutes later, a young man came up to them wearing a baseball cap. The Yankees T-shirt and pink sneakers on his feet highlighted his youth. The man's right hand hugged Yunti's waist, and she was like a winding spirit cloud, blooming brilliantly. They whispered a few words of intimacy, and the man picked her up, like holding a mass of cotton, very lightly.

It's good to be young, I thought, and looked back at the man.

YunTi turned to say goodbye to me, and when she was half awake, she said, Su He, this is just a game. Long hair flooded her face, thick and dark.

ding answer. A wechat popped up on the mobile phone.

open it, it's Shu Jie.

He wrote:

Do you want to play a game?

I asked:

Has it started now?

Three

Today is the ninetieth day since I became a cat, and I seem to fall in love with this feeling.

I want to be a cat, starting from alienation and pushing and pulling, and opening up in the desire at night. Book Jie appears at lunch time every day, in the same restaurant. We tacitly sat at the third table that entered the door and had lunch together. Not many words, keep your distance, but he smiles naturally.

when night comes, it's full of colors. This is our first date. Put on a silky little dress, paint your toenails dark pink, and spray perfume on your waist to wait for him.

He took me to a western restaurant, and the moderate and exquisite meat made me happy, just like the jade-like night in Moran, which made me feel vaguely uneasy. And this kind of anxiety just makes me very excited. I looked at him with a smile, starting with my lips, crossing my nose, avoiding my eyes and crossing my hairline.

after dinner, our plan is to go to a concert together. In the fragrant carriage, he took out his right hand, held my little left hand in his palm, held it tightly, and then released it. I feel the temperature of his palm, sweating hot.

I don't know if it was red wine or the smell of cars, which made me dizzy, so I asked him to stop. The cool summer breeze lifts a woman's skirts and sends all her desires in. I got out of the car to get some air, and Shujie followed. I felt that his palm was very big, just holding up my face. Moist lips push the soft tongue inward, invading and sucking a little.

su he.

he called my name softly, and the breath of mint swam into the nasal cavity from his lips and teeth, which was very nice. I can't help but take a deep breath, and my erect chest makes my breasts sharp and close to his tight chest. Softness becomes more complicated at this time, with tight skin and full fat. He held my waist tightly, bridled it like a waistline and buckled it into his body. I feel the rhythm of his tongue touching my earlobe, and the flexibility when crossing the cochlea is intoxicating. Gentle palms, stroking the spine, all the way down, lifting the skirt horn ... < P > At this moment, maybe there should be a reward, maybe there is no reward.

I held his hand and whispered in his ear. It was just a game.

Four

Today is the 121th day when I became a cat, and I began to enjoy this pleasant process.

by the way, I have never introduced myself. Su He, Su of Gusu, why bother? I think you should know who you are whenever and wherever you are. However, I still can't be a cat completely.

The night in the city is too lonely. Half a misty rain falls under the street lamp, and it is warm and yellow. Shu Jie often comes to my apartment, and occasionally I go to his place, but I never spend the night.

He will squeeze the cream out, on the plate, in my groin, and then lick it a little. I like this inch by inch wet, gentle and exciting, from head to toe. I don't have to copy mechanically who I want to be, I don't have to work hard to love, I just enjoy the present.

until noon, we were still sitting in the dining room downstairs, at a table, one meter away.

alienated and orderly, attractive and arrogant.

I think I just always wanted to be myself.