Single sketch "Eat Tofu"
Rev: Pockmarked Wang is lying on the sofa, crossing his legs, drinking tea, rubbing hemp and humming a tune.
"Eat some mala Tang, play mahjong, drink some fighting wine (white wine) and see the monks."
Then, I got up lazily, fluttered on the stage, pulled up the yangko and murmured:
"Yesterday, I heard from the next door that his name is Zhou and his name is Zhou Ren. Others scold the ancestors of the people around him, but he won't speak even if he dies ... "
Suddenly, SanSao rushed in. "Ah, Pockmarked Wang, your baby is very quiet, saying that you want to eat bean jelly, but you are the head of the family and keep my mother waiting for a long time in the flying (small) pavilion ..."
Pockmarked Wang hurried away, grinning grimly. "Don't be angry, Third Sister-in-law. Look, isn't it still early? "
"It's early, it's early to be a thief. It is irritating. I won't light a fire for you, I don't know my mother yet! Hum. " Sansao bash elbows said.
Wang pockmarked hurriedly accompanied him, made a face and winked at him: "Third sister-in-law, I'm sorry, it's really my fault. My uncle Wang, a person from such a port, can't recognize your third sister-in-law? " Just today, my uncle Wang is very happy. I want to tell you something, give you a surprise and make you happy. "
"If you have something to say, just fart. Don't trip and pinch your feet. "
"Yes, yes," Wang Pockmarked shook his head with anger. "You don't know. Now, my uncle Wang, Kuomintang, ah, Commissioner Jiang ... Commander-in-Chief, please stand at attention ... Chairman Jiang, get rich forever, stand at attention, stand at attention, stand at attention ... OK! Hey hey, advocate the new life movement, want to dance that dance ... "
"Jump wordy at noon ..."
"It's not noon, it's ballroom dancing."
"What is ballroom dancing?"
"ballroom dancing is two people holding hands. The man dances like this and the woman dances with it." Pockmarked Wang said and did.
"Jump if you want, I don't care!"
"I a person zha jump? It must be a man and a woman. "
"Men and women jump? The shame of our ancestors. Hey, what does it matter to me that you go dancing? "
"Ah, three sister-in-law, how can it have nothing to do with you. I don't need to tell you that your aunt Wang left early, leaving me alone. It's a disaster, especially when you often wake up in the middle of the night, it's dark and no one talks. Can your third sister-in-law do me a favor, pity my uncle Wang, let me get even, be a dance partner, find some feelings and say something! "
"Cough! Uncle Wang, Pockmarked Wang, your baby has been playing long and long, and you dare to be cruel to my third sister-in-law! Aren't you afraid that I'll ask Pan Tuobei to take care of you ... "With that, Third Sister-in-law shouted," Pan Tuobei, Pan Tuobei ... "
Pockmarked Wang quickly grabbed it: "Hey, Third Sister, stop yelling. Uncle Wang played a joke on you just now, and you took it seriously. Ok, I will stop talking. " Come on, let's eat bean jelly. "
The two began to drag.
"Xindu hot and sour powder, good on three sides, a majestic rise, and the king turned to the third sister."
"Climb your coquettish, your pockmarked Wang is too sleepy." Third sister-in-law glared.
"No, no, because I miss you so much? ! I can't eat any more bowls. " Pockmarked Wang rubbed his hands.
"Well, you are a dog, but you can't change it." Third sister-in-law pretends to meditate. "Well, Uncle Wang, you really miss me!"
"This is false! I bet that if Uncle Wang tells half a lie, it will thunder five times a day. " While cursing Third Sister-in-law, Pockmarked Wang pursed her lips and said to the audience, "Hum, I think it's fake. I think it's true that I want to eat tofu. Sansao's bean jelly is really not delicious! "
"Yes, I believe you when you say you miss me, but I think it's necessary!" Third sister-in-law began to count money.
"It's easier said than done. People have to spend a penny in a box (girlfriend), not to mention that my uncle Wang has a lot of quacks. You can yell at him."
"How much are you stunned? Your ostentation and extravagance article was transferred from. How big is it? Your popularity is not wide. Hey, don't tell me the truth. "
"Well, want to clear home windbag? That's not asking me to jump into a steel pipe well. Well, I don't want to scold her. " Pockmarked Wang is up to something. "I have a lot of tickets, and my gold ingot is very wide, but I will definitely give you an invoice, so that you can eat well, wear warm clothes, dare not shout in the middle of the night, eat bean jelly and have a good time." As for the way to get rich, since you are Aunt Wang, just wait for my husband to collect it himself, so don't bother. Then you can count your coughs, or you can ask Pan hunchback to tie me up. "
"Well, you said jump, lively, like lights, like rush. No wonder people say TV is stupid, but you say it's a TV flower. Uncle Wang, we really should eat bean jelly. Eat or not, Wang Mazi, forget it. " Third sister-in-law is angry.
"Okay, okay, let's eat. Come on, let's pick it up." Pockmarked Wang pulled his third sister-in-law to wriggle on the stage.
"Eat bean jelly, eat bean jelly, get up, get up ..." Gradually step into the background. (end)
One-man sketch of "leaving"
Time: one day
Location: in the dormitory
Character: self
Drama:
I'm leaving soon. I went out to buy Sasha presents and some food. I think I can live with them for a while. I am very happy. When I arrived at the door, I called Sasha's name, but no one answered. I opened the door with the key and found the dormitory so clean that they all left, which was quite strange. Anyway, start decorating and put away the same food. Then put the gifts for them on the bed, think for a while, or write a note. So I picked up the paper and pen on the table and wrote, Sasha, this is for you. Keep it well!
Then I put the gift and the note on the bed, and it suddenly occurred to me that they hadn't come back yet, so I began to call them, but I couldn't get through. Look at the time again, time is running out, so hurry up! I went to the bed and took out the box and opened it; Then I'll take out the clothes from the closet and put them inside. Finally, I put the big cotton-padded jacket on the bed in. I'm closing the door. There is something wrong with this box. It was a little tight when it was closed, but it was finally closed. Then put the food on the table casually and throw it beside the bed. Thinking that calling others might find them, I called Yingying, and the call came through: "Hello, Yingying! Do you know where Sasha and the others went? Didn't you say you would send it to me? " The other party said, "They are afraid of being sad and will not come to see you off!" " "What? Afraid of being sad ""yes ""well, whatever! " I thought to myself, I hate it. If you don't come, you won't come and you won't get lost alone.
Look at the dormitory, put the cosmetics on the table in my bag, and prepare to go with the box. When I got to the door, the telephone rang. I can't wait to put down my things and answer the phone. It's Sasha. She said she was waiting for me at the airport and told me to hurry. I hung up the phone, took the gifts and food for them and left in a hurry.
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