When Dabao was born, her mother-in-law came to help. My husband and I thought that someone would help us, so we were willful, had a second child while the iron was hot, finished the task early, and it was easier to come back later. Then she really gave birth to a second child when Dabao was two years old.

As a result, people are not as good as the sky. The second child is a daughter, and her mother-in-law is not very happy. Then her husband's brother and sister-in-law swore that their mother-in-law would not help us with our children, otherwise they would not fulfill their support obligations in the future.

So my mother-in-law patted her ass and left when I was two months old, leaving us behind. During that time, my husband was under great pressure to buy a house to support his family and was too busy at work. Although he wants to help me, he is obviously powerless.

The two children are so young, and the body itself is weak after delivery, and they are often tired to doubt life. Especially in the past eight months, Bauer has been ill for three or two days because of an autumn diarrhea, and her strong sister, who often plays with her sister, has been cross-infected with the virus and her health has deteriorated.

I have put up with this bloody history for two years. I really want to curse my husband for not helping, but he has been overwhelmed and bought a house to support his family. I can't stand it?

I really want to scold my mother-in-law: but she is an elder, and the state does not stipulate that she must bring her granddaughter.

I tried to ask my own mother for help, but my mother threw me two words: no, or at most I could only accept my sending Dabao to take her, but I couldn't bear to leave Dabao.

So no one scolded and no one complained. I can only bite my teeth and swallow my stomach.

In those three years, I stayed up countless nights, guarding a feverish baby or doing housework with a light on. Due to poor health and temperament, Bauer slept with his arms around him until he was one year and five months old, and then he could slowly relax.

There are countless sufferings, so I won't say it here.

Now back to the question.

My suggestion is to look at Ma Bao's own personality. If Ma Bao is a strong woman, she will definitely go to work. Otherwise, Ma Bao will be wronged to death. Children are relatives, but after all, it is the most important.

And your husband's attitude. If your husband insists that you go out to work, well, let's go, work together and take care of the children together. Don't quarrel about it. The relationship between husband and wife is more important and affects the happiness of the whole family. Ma Bao can communicate with her husband clearly.

As for my husband's attitude, he thinks that if I go to the community to find a job that can take care of the children, the salary will definitely be low, so I might as well stay at home full-time to avoid taking care of both sides.

If Ma Bao is not a strong woman, and her husband doesn't care, then my suggestion is to temporarily return to the family to take care of the children for two or three years.

First: If Ma Bao is not a strong woman, she must find a job that can take care of her children, that is, she must not work overtime, and she is relatively idle, preferably close to home. Then I think the salary of this kind of job is definitely not high, and the development prospect is not great. I just work for work. If the family's economy is not particularly tight, I don't think we are short of that money, but children are more important.

Second: Everyone says that children are the most important, but many people often disagree with their ideas, because they think that a slightly literate person should not take care of children at home, and children should be taken care of by old people whose physical strength, energy and intelligence are beginning to deteriorate. I'm thinking that such an old man may be able to take good care of his children in life, but can his early interest cultivation, intellectual development and living habits keep up with the times?

There are still many people who think that a child knows nothing. Just don't starve him or freeze him. You should know that the human brain is still at its peak when it is 0-3 years old. If you miss it, you may not be able to make up for it if you do more in the future. Moreover, in the age of 0-3, it is also very important to cultivate close relationship with children.

As for why we should cultivate intimate relationships, it is very useful. Simply put, the child thinks you are the closest person. When he was a child, he listened to your advice and advice in metropolis. If he thinks the old man is his closest friend, you know how many bad habits he will develop under the protection of his grandmother.

Of course, many treasure moms will feel that if they don't go to work for a few years, they will be out of touch with society. Compared with others, they will feel that they are Martians. I attended the class reunion last night, and everyone on the table was successful except me, so I understand this feeling very well.

But I have two reasons to refute it. The first reason is the first point. If Ma Bao only wants a leisure job that can take care of children, it shouldn't be hard to find it in two or three years.

The second reason is that although we are out of touch with society, people have gains and losses. If you gain the trust and progress of your children, you will definitely lose something. For us, it is an important thing to adjust our mentality and find our state again. Sometimes, no matter how annoying and difficult things are, as long as you see the smiling faces of the babies, they are nothing. ......

I am a precious mother with two children and a full-time mother with two children.

This year is my sixth year as a stay-at-home mom. I never thought that I would be a full-time mother before giving birth to a doll, because I always thought that a full-time mother would only take care of the baby at home, except that it was useless and would be rejected by her husband and bullied by her husband's family. So I've always wanted to be a career-oriented woman, absolutely independent economically, with my own career, so that my husband-in-law can "respect" me, and then I'll consider having children when my career is successful.

However, the plan cannot keep up with the changes. Just when my career was booming, I was pregnant with Dabao. At that time, I was bent on getting rid of my child, but in the end, under the repeated persuasion of my parents, husband, relatives and friends, I left the child. Even so, I am still restless, because I am not mentally prepared to be a mother at all, and I always concentrate on my work. So when my child is three months old, I weaned myself and began to work hard, thinking that in this case, I must work harder and make some achievements in my career, so that my child can worship my mother.

I have always had an unyielding and stubborn heart and always thought that I could live a good life with my career, but the facts tell me how naive and naive my thoughts are. At that time, the family was very chaotic, and I often quarreled with my husband because of the children. He thinks I shouldn't work so hard, take care of my family and children and say "home and everything", so we often quarrel, which leads to unhappy work. Husband can't develop his career with peace of mind In the end, not only did our careers not develop, but the relationship between husband and wife was also very tense. The most important thing is that the child is in poor health and was sent to the hospital for two days.

Looking at the innocent look of the child and the helpless expression of her husband, I knew I was wrong, but I was too stubborn. From that moment on, I decided to be a full-time mother, take good care of the children, and be a wife and help my husband.

Since then, I have been a full-time mother, and the elderly at home have dropped out of the stage of bringing people, so our family of three started a new journey.

Before, my parents-in-law and I had many misunderstandings and contradictions about having children and taking care of them, but since I took care of them full-time, their attitude towards me has changed a lot, our relationship has become more and more harmonious, and my feelings with my husband have gradually warmed up. Although it is not as close as glue, it can at least be described as "taking care of each other".

After that, I gave birth to my second child. At that time, I welcomed him with great joy. I hope he can get my love as soon as he is born. At the same time, my state of mind has also changed. I am no longer impetuous, but full of joy and tranquility. In this way, I came to the present with my two babies alone.

Whenever I take my two babies to play in the community, I hardly see a few young people with their babies at first sight, so I become one of those elderly people who often say, "Hey! It's a pity that you are so capable at a young age. You should go to work and pursue your career. How can I take care of my baby willingly? It's really not worth it. You young people should let the older generation get it. You still have to work. " I know they mean well, but I don't care what they say. When I saw that my two babies were sensible and filial and were often praised countless times, I knew it was very worthwhile for me to do so.

Of course, I have never given up studying and making progress when I take care of my children, and I have always been full of confidence. During this period, I learned new knowledge about financial management, health management and economy. Now I also have my own small business (partnership in hotel catering). Many people will definitely feel that taking care of children is very tired and busy, and they have no time to study, let alone taking care of two children by themselves. This is absolutely impossible, but I want to tell you.

Full-time mothers are most afraid of giving up on themselves and not believing in themselves. Who can help you if you lose confidence? Now the family is harmonious, the relationship between husband and wife is very good, the two children are at school, sensible and filial, and have their own small business. The most important thing is that my husband also supports me. I feel that although I didn't achieve what I wanted in my career, I lived a full and practical life. I am very satisfied and enjoy it.

Being a full-time mother is the greatest and most glorious career in the world, but while enjoying this career, we should also grow up with our children. Only in this way can we live a good life and take care of our children!

Two children, one is two and a half years old and the other is five months old, and an old man helps to take care of them. If it were me, I would resolutely go to work after the second baby was weaned.

At the beginning, I took care of the baby full-time, and I was on the verge of collapse every day, exhausted physically and mentally, so I sent the full-time care to work when the child was less than two years old.

Actually, I'm more tired after work. Busy with children and housework in the morning and evening, go to work during the day. I spend every day in a hurry, but I'd rather be so tired than reach for money at home full-time in a panic.

It is said that the economic base determines the superstructure. Not every husband will understand his wife's difficulties. He will think that you should do housework and take good care of the children when you are not at home. He has no idea of your hard work. When he comes back from hard work, he can play games and wait for ready-made food.

I still remember what he said. It's really comfortable to take care of children. Don't be ungrateful. So I wronged my children. At that time, I took a few full-time housewives with the same troubles, arranged my children and went to work.

When I went to work and had limited energy, I began to share housework and children's affairs with him. From the beginning, he was not used to resisting until now, and he knew his responsibility very well, so he survived.

Two children, not to mention the economy, almost all have to go to small classes in kindergarten, so they can take care of the elderly in advance. When you come back at night, you can pick up the baby yourself, get in touch with your feelings and let the old man have a rest.

We all work together, otherwise we will take care of the baby at home, and we will not talk about it, and we will also breed all kinds of inexplicable small contradictions. At least the family I have seen is a chicken feather. Even some mother-in-law still don't like daughter-in-law. When the children are obviously older, they can get rid of but not go to work to ease the economic pressure.

So, if you can, go to work.

I suggest that you go to work and the children take care of the elderly at home, but you'd better stay close so that you can take care of the baby after work every day.

I only have one baby, one year and nine months, and I take care of the baby full time. No income, very tired. My husband gives me two thousand yuan a month for living expenses. It also includes money for milk powder and diapers. So, I'm nervous every day. It's not that my husband is stingy, but in Shenzhen, we must save money.

My mother-in-law has no job, but her health is not very good, so she can only bring it by herself.

The eldest is two and a half years old, and he can go to school in half a year, and the second is only five months old, which is not too much trouble. He can do it alone.

Talk it over with your husband. Old people take it during the day, and the baby can sleep next to you after work at night. It is recommended not to wean. During the day, you can suck the milk out with a breast pump, put it in the refrigerator, give it to her, and feed it directly at night. In this way, there will be no delay in going to work, and the feelings of the children and you will not be separated. Only the adults will be a little tired, but this is only temporary. It will be fine when the children are older.

Only by going to work will your self-worth be reflected.

If conditions permit, you can wait until Dawa goes to school at the age of three before going to work.

Since the opening of the second child, many families have responded to the policy and gave birth to two babies. I'm afraid of having children. My baby is now in the first grade of public primary school in Beijing. As far as the current situation is concerned, the cost of attending various training courses in a year is at least 60,000-80,000 yuan, plus the expenses of eating, drinking, toys, traveling, etc., and a baby can easily pass 6.5438+10,000 yuan. Some time ago, the company closed down and I haven't found a new job. There is no income from full-time baby care for the time being. My husband earns money to support his family, and he has to pay back nearly 20 thousand mortgage every month. The economic pressure can be imagined, and I really dare not think about a second child.

I have a graduate student's best friend in Shenzhen. Dawa is a boy. Dawa gave birth to a second child when she was 5 years old. It was a boy. Mother-in-law and mother-in-law take care of themselves without foreign aid. The boss can only be sent to a full-time nursery class for care. But it is the hardest thing to lose contact with society than fatigue. My best friend took an accounting certificate, and she planned to find a financial job after her eldest child went to primary school, but she was caught off guard by another second baby. The works discussed by others sound like aliens; The beauty shopping discussed by others feels far away from me; Others discussed how much money they earned this month and found themselves empty-handed. Fortunately, my best friend has a good personality and quickly adjusted herself. As for her temporary inability to go to work, she said this: she is just living a limited life and experiencing another life. That is, whose life does not climb out of one pit and fall into the next.

I believe it is difficult for many mothers to decide whether to go back to work or stay at home as full-time mothers. Many mothers may choose to continue working for economic reasons, insurance reasons, self-development reasons and so on. And some mothers may choose to be full-time mothers at home because they can't bear to leave their babies unattended or unattended. No matter what you choose, your mother is respectable. Every mother is a brave and strong warrior, and her heart has become stronger and stronger in countless nights. May we all harvest a full heart and a full life.

I am also a second-born mother. Dabao is five years old and Bao Xiao is one and a half years old. I am now taking care of the baby at home full time, and our family's economic conditions are not good. But I think the first few years of children are the golden age of living habits and intellectual development. You shouldn't miss it, or you will want to make up for it in the future.

And my family situation doesn't allow me to go to work. My in-laws are deaf. If I give them my children, they can't communicate. Remember to have a second child. When I was confined, Dabao was a little over three years old. He took off his trousers and went to the toilet. As a result, my mother-in-law thought he was playing hooligans. Hug him many times and make him wear pants. When my son resisted, she hit him. The son was wronged and collapsed. Ran to me crying.

I especially understand his feelings because I can't communicate with my in-laws. Every time I say something, they guess by mouth. Sometimes when I say something, they don't understand it for a long time and misunderstand it. I'm in a hurry here. It's no use.

I don't want my children to suffer as much as I do, so I choose to take care of them full-time. To tell the truth, the economic conditions are not good. Being a full-time mother is very tiring. If you have no money to spend, you will be questioned every time you reach out for money: didn't you just give you money for a few days? There is no money again. I have no sense of value in my heart, and I have no confidence to resist at this time.

Besides, Ma Bao should also decide according to her own personality. I have a friend who is that kind of strong woman. I don't like housework at all. Reluctantly taking care of children at home, depressed, always angry with children. Like this, I think after going out to work.

I am also a full-time mother, and I am the mother of three children. Our second child is two and a half years old, and the youngest is three months, which is similar to your situation.

I always think it's better for the mother to take care of the children. No one's care can take the place of parents. Moreover, the thinking of the elderly and their parents is also very different. Old people's ideas are more traditional, while young people's ideas are more novel. When children are young, it is a good time to form habits. If you stay with the elderly for a long time, some habits of the elderly will inevitably affect the children.

There is an old saying called generational shift, which means that old people are generally used to their children. If a child makes a mistake, cries, or makes a fool of himself, the old man will immediately feel extremely distressed. After a long time, it is easy to develop a child's bad temper.

I can understand your struggle, because I had the same idea. Finally, I chose to be a full-time mother and a housewife. The process of children's growth is very important, and I don't want to miss every stage of children.

My two children are two years apart, just like the landlord's house. Dabao attended kindergarten for one year, and Bao Xiao was two years old. It's much easier now, but Ma Bao's sadness of carrying two babies all the way alone is only clear when she is a mother.

When I gave birth to Xiaobao, something happened to my mother-in-law's sister-in-law's house. My mother-in-law needed to look after the children, so she only stayed for a few days after giving birth and went back. I can't help but leave Dabao at my mother's house. In fact, I feel at ease at my mother's house, but Dabao's heart is not like this.

My mother said it would be fine in a year, but for various reasons, my mother didn't want to see Dabao, so I took Dabao back after the month. I was helpless, but I still had to bite my teeth and stick to it. Later, I found out that I followed Dabao wherever he went, and I realized that he sent him to grandma's house because he thought his mother didn't want him.

The landlord's family Dabao is two and a half years old and Bao Xiao is five months old. If the family conditions are well-off, you can discuss with your husband to take care of your baby full-time for two or three years. After the children go to kindergarten, the elderly can pick them up and the landlord can go to work with peace of mind. Children are small and have low sense of security. What they need most is the company of their mother.

If the landlord's husband feels stressed and has some difficulties, he can discuss taking Dabao to work at the age of 3. The 3-year-old child already knows something, so he can safely send it to the kindergarten. Bao Xiao is almost 1 year old, and the old man is more than enough to teach during his study.

From your introduction, we know that there is an old man in your family. As a pregnant woman, you should consider sending your boss to a nursery, so that the old man can take care of his second child and continue to work hard in the workplace. Will your husband support you when you are suspended for two or three years to be a full-time mother and take care of your children? You are wandering.

According to the investigation of medical science, children who follow their mothers and are cared for and educated by their mothers are higher than children of the same age who are not cared for by their mothers, both in physical development and health and in intellectual training. Moreover, these children are lively and happy and have affinity for language expression. Of course, full-time child care is undoubtedly the first choice for mothers.

If your husband is an excellent man, he has the financial ability to protect his mother and son in life, and he still has a balance. In order to keep the children from losing at the starting line physically and intellectually, I will certainly support my wife to be a full-time mother and take good care of the children. Because, with high-quality offspring, there is everything. Therefore, it is worthwhile to ask his wife to give up her immediate economic income temporarily.

If the husband's income is average, there are two children and an old man in the family, the problem of eating and drinking Lazar for the five people in the family depends entirely on the husband's work income, and the economy is stretched. It is unrealistic for you to be a full-time mother with children. It is undoubtedly the right choice to send the boss to the nursery and let the old man take care of the second child.

It varies from person to person. My suggestion is that children should be given priority at this stage, regardless of economic conditions. Bauer is only five months old. He is too young.

I am also a full-time nanny, but I have a baby, and I won't consider having a second child in the short term.

Whether children or children, as long as they have children, it takes a long time to change from the workplace to a full-time mother. In addition to energy, it is more from psychological stress tolerance.

I am a person who insists on going to work until the day before giving birth to a child. I have been at work during pregnancy because of pregnancy-induced hypertension in the third trimester. When I asked for leave to have a prenatal examination, the doctor had forced me to be hospitalized and asked me to have an autopsy immediately.

Looking back on the whole process now, I feel very sad. The biggest headache is that all I can think about during pregnancy is to keep working even after giving birth to a child, not to be a housewife, and never to be a full-time mother, but to ignore the question of who will take care of the child after birth (I must have been out of my mind at that time). Because of the lack of comprehensive consideration, the child is not in a good state from birth. In addition to lack of sleep, anxiety, irritability, irritability and crying also lasted for a long time. I thought I had depression at that time.

I won't elaborate on the process. In short, the situation has gradually improved. Half a year after giving birth, my husband resigned and stayed at home with me to take care of the children. Children don't start working again until they are one year old and plan their future path.

Now I am still a stay-at-home mother, but I feel that in the three years since I gave up my job, I really grew from initial fear to indifference.

Stay-at-home mothers are much harder than working women, and only those who have really experienced it can deeply and truly understand it. Being a full-time mother doesn't mean giving up on yourself. Although the economic source is gone, the spiritual food must be continuously absorbed.

My husband and I raised these children. We have never regretted the process of having children in person, and we are constantly adjusting our career choices. The ultimate goal is only one, that is, children. Education before the age of three is really a key stage that can affect a child's life.

When my child was less than two years old, I began to think about the future. This is the status quo, and acceptance is necessary. The rest is to see how to adjust. I used to be busy at work, so I hardly had time to read books. When my child was one year old and seven months old, I began to plan my future career direction and began to choose relevant books. If I don't have enough education, I will improve my education. If I don't have enough knowledge, I will reserve knowledge and keep my learning attitude at all times. Gradually, the thinking will become clearer and clearer. In this process, I want to thank my children (who let me know that my life has unlimited choices and I have enough untapped potential) and my husband, who will unconditionally support and encourage me no matter what choice I make.