humorous jokes (selected 48 sentences) 1. Please, Yue Lao, next time, can you switch to a cable when you hold the red line for me? Even the incoming call is not easy to disconnect. If I can choose my life, I would rather keep it simple. A teacup, a hut, an acre of fertile land and 111 million deposits. Simple, good. 3. I have a friend who found a very rich husband. Although he got endless wealth, he also lost his troubles. 4. You can learn two other skills: reject the nuisance casually and promise your sweetheart seriously. I don't play hard to get, if you take one step towards me, I will jump three steps towards you, if you take one step back, I will take 11111 steps back and run home and lock the door! 6. "What's it like to like someone who doesn't like you?" "I treat you like my life, and you treat me like I'm sick". 7. Life can't be like cooking. You don't cook until all the ingredients are ready. 8. Never think you are ugly because it is true; Never think you are fat because it is true; Never think you are poor, because it is true. 9. What is the experience of being single for more than two years? I have been single for 22 years. I don't know which two years you are talking about. 11. What kind of psychology is it for my best friend to date a man who once pursued me behind my back? God replied: Your best friend is really strong! 11. How to spit out that a movie sucks? God replied: There are 17 rows of seats in the cinema, with 32 seats in each row. There are 48 lights on the ceiling, and a black spot always appears in the lower left corner of the screen, with a frequency of about 1 minutes and 21 seconds. 12. What are your last words? God replied: Can you try another doctor? I always feel that I can live. 13. Say a meaningful poem. God replied: a lazy shirt is small. 14. Other people's children can buy toilet paper, but mine is still on toilet paper. God replied: other people's wives will be angry, and your wife will be inflated. 15. A female player posted on the forum and asked, "Singles' Day wants to express her love for the boy. What gift should I give?" God replied: First Blood! 16. Every time I watch a costume film, I hear people say: I would like to smell Qi Xiang. 17. How to put forward rolled sheets gracefully? A: There is a nearly 311 million project that needs your help. 18. Why do girls come to their period? God replied: this egg/child, if you can't wait for the sperm/child, is called a depressed person who vomits blood while walking. 19. How do civil servants make an annual salary of one million? A: The ways for civil servants to earn an annual salary of one million have been written into the criminal law, so you can check it out if necessary. 21. Q: What was your last experience from death? God replied: I almost caught up with the sperm/child behind me 21 years ago. 21. Where are the most beautiful girls in China? God replied: WeChat circle of friends 22. Q: What do you mean, "Who holds my hand and makes me crazy for half a life"? God replied: I am sick, who has medicine! 23. Do you understand why I can't go on a trip? Because you are poor. 24. Being tired is because you have extra things in your heart, which is the same as being full. 25. Some people are good at geography, physics, history, mathematics, Chinese, English and chemistry. I have a good attitude. 26. The goddess said that she is not from the same world as me. What should I do? I may have met a Martian! 27. Real brothers, no matter how far away we are, no matter how long we haven't contacted each other, even if we changed our mobile phone numbers several times, we can always find you when we want to borrow money? 28. Don't use honey traps on me in the future, or I'll play along. 29. The school flower refers to the girl and the school grass refers to the boy. Then, the sentence "There are plenty of herbs in the sea, so why unrequited love for a flower" is worth considering. After thinking about it, I always feel that something is wrong. 31. Be nice to your boyfriend after you find him. Don't bully him. Hurt him. It's bad for him. After all, he is blind. 31. You know, Baidu can't find you at all, so it can only enter sogou. 32. I saw a man just now, and he was very handsome. The handsome man made me feel moved by all men. Then I went over and wanted to make friends with him. When I looked closer, I saw a mirror. You said it was embarrassing. 33. In a few decades, we will meet again and send them to the crematorium, all of which will be burned to ashes, one for you and the other for me, and all of which will be sent to the countryside to make fertilizer. 34. I really envy you ugly people. If you are lovelorn, you can at least say "Who made me ugly" to comfort yourself. 35. Too many classes were skipped. When I went to class yesterday, the professor was surprised and said, "I haven't seen you for such a long time. You have grown so big." 36. If you like to play games well, I can practice; You like to cook delicious food, I can learn; But you said you like ugly ones. What do you want me to do? There's nothing I can do. 37. You look thin only when I am fat, lest you look ugly when I am thin. 38. Remember to hold your head high or others will see your double chin. 39. Although it is good to go to bed early and get up early, it is good to stay up late and get up late. 41. In this fickle age, the best way to make others remember you is to owe money and not pay it back. 41. You can't have your cake and eat it, but you can have both poverty and ugliness at the same time, and fat and short are special. 42. Someone asked me why my skin is black. It's funny. One white covers all the ugliness. You are white to cover the ugliness, but I'm not ugly. 43. I have lived to this age, and the only thing I can afford to put down is chopsticks. 44. Be sure to remember those people who chat with you late into the night, because of them, you have dark circles under your eyes. 45. Getting up early can really do a lot of things, for example, sleeping again. 46. My parents said never to fall in love at school, as if someone would value me. 47. When you are young, you should try not to fall in love early, knowing that you are unattractive, ugly and short too early will affect the exam. 48. A girl's cuteness is directly proportional to her ability to eat.