Hao Jian: "Just now, I saw the trunk of a car open on the road, so I followed it on my bike. I tried to tell someone, but they came to a screeching halt. I got into someone else's trunk. "
2. Hao Jian: "In the future, if I want to do my own thing, my name will not be Hao Jian. My name is very cheap ... "
3. Aunt: "Oh, my elbow! Oh, my rib cover! Oh, my waist is bulging! Oh, it doesn't hurt! "
Hao Jian: "Auntie, don't use exclusion now. Since it doesn't hurt, let's try and see if we can go. "
Aunt: "You can go here, but you are going by the table."
4. Aunt: "Young man, your face is black and blue, and you fell badly."
Hao Jian: "Nothing"
Aunt: "You are a good boy and know how to help your aunt up."
Hao Jian: "I am addicted to doing good deeds."
Aunt: "It will be someone else. I will run early if I hit it! " "
Hao Jian-_-=
5. Hao Jian: "My car was rear-ended."
Aunt: "Oh, my coccyx! It's over, it's New Year's Eve, and the tail root is still smashed. Well, it's broken and safe! "
6. Auntie: "At this time, are you still more meaningful than the true son of 3.2 meters?"
7. Passerby A: "Wait a minute, I saw an old lady lying on the main road, and no one came to help her. What do you think of the changes in the current social atmosphere? Others don't care, I care! Aunt, don't move. I am going to send a Weibo to condemn this behavior and let my parents turn to comment, daughter-in-law, remember to praise me. "
8. Aunt: "I am an innocent passerby. I was knocked down by you innocently. After that, you will run away. Ha ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha ... "
Hao Jian: "Aunt, does your family know that you are so naughty? ! "
Hao Jian: "Let's put on your coat and get warm. Liu De's goods are of the same model. Can you still feel the cold ice and rain shooting at random? "
10, Hao Jian: "Big Brother."
Passerby B: "What's the matter, young man?"
Hao Jian: "There is an old lady here."
Passerby B: "Did you hit it?"
Hao Jian: "Really not."
Passerby B: "Run! I helped him. "
Hao Jian: "What happened?"
Passerby A: "Let me tell you this, I've driven a big run before!" " "
1 1, Hao Jian: "Auntie, let's share some fables. The name of the story is: Mr. Dong Guo and the wolf, Lu and the dog, the farmer and the snake, and the old lady ... "
12, Auntie: "If you want to help you, I will help you. Leave without helping you. You made room for a good man. I'll pretend you never hit me. Come, you go, go, escape. "
Hao Jian: "How can I escape? If I keep saying this, can we play together in the future? " ? ! "
Aunt: "Are you going?"
Hao Jian: "I'm not leaving."
Aunt: "Are you going?"
Hao Jian: "If I leave, I will run away."
Aunt: "You won't go, will you? I have to go ... "
Hao Jian: "I said, auntie, are you going to blow up the bunker there? Why don't you understand? "
13, Hao Jian: "The name Hao Jian was given to me by my mother. She got up early and coveted the darkness. How come I came to you and became a dirty word? "
14, Hao Jian: "Auntie, you can go!"
Aunt: "I am angry with you."
Hao Jian: "Hey, this irritating person can still cure diseases, then I am Qigong!" "
15, Pol.ice: "Aunt, you ride too fast. The rim is like this. Are you racing? "
I ... I ... .........
Policeman: "You hit someone. ......
16, Pol.ice: "If the owner of that car just returned the money to that young man, he said that he couldn't let the good doer get cold. Take it."
Hao Jian: "Hey, not cold, not cold, not cold."
Policeman: "I will give you 100 yuan more to repair the car."
Hao Jian: "Hey, this is not only not cold, but also a little heartburn?"
17, Hao Jian: "If this person falls, won't he fall if we don't help him?" If people's hearts fall, we can't even help them. "
Spring Festival Evening sketch "Help or Not" 2 characters: beggar, old lady, otaku A, diaosi B, the flower-like daughter of the old lady, and the old man;
Time: early winter morning;
Location: On the sidewalk of Ziyun Road;
Synopsis: The old lady went out for a walk and accidentally fell down. The blind beggar saw it and ran away. At this time, otaku A and Diaosi B happened to pass by, and they had differences on whether to help the elderly. Finally, Alice B persuaded otaku A not to help the old lady. At this time, the old lady's daughter, Ruhua, just came to see the old lady. It turned out that Ruhua was none other than Otaku A, and Otaku A regretted it. ...
-SMS-
(The beggar comes out with sunglasses and sticks.)
Beggar: Prices are rising rapidly, and I owe a lot of foreign debts. My wife gave me serious instructions that I must earn some extra money. If I say no, I'll kick it right away. I can only pretend to be a beggar! In today's world, it is difficult to do anything. For example, the competition in the beggar industry is fierce! A man looks at clothes, and the second child next door is the same as me, but he doesn't look miserable on the first day when he goes out, and he earns very little in the end. After returning home, he was beaten by his wife, his face was black and blue, he limped, and his clothes were torn to pieces. As a result, this guy's income doubled the next day! I can't follow in his footsteps Look at me, dressed like a beggar among beggars, or "Gaizhonggai" for short!
A beggar was sitting on the side of the road with a stick on his shoulder and a jar in front of him. There are some coins in it.
Beggar: (looking around in a wretched way, I see someone coming) There is an old lady who is ill in bed and a baby who is hungry. Please be kind and do more good deeds!
(The old lady comes out)
Old lady: I'm 68 years old. I have nothing to do at home all day. I heard that the smog was going to disperse, so I took a stroll on the street. (Looking around) Gee, it's a beautiful day today. The sun came out. Yesterday, my daughter called and said that she would come back from Shanghai soon, and said that she should take a good breath of the fresh air in Hefei. According to her, there is a popular saying in Shanghai: "The furthest distance in the world is not the distance between life and death, but that I hold your hand on the street in Shanghai, but I can't see your face." It is not easy for my daughter to earn money, and she has suffered a lot. It's rare to come back this time. I have to go around the vegetable market and buy some good dishes to treat myself.
(Singing "Today is a good day, may everything be successful, today is a good day …", I tripped and fell to the ground. )
Old lady: hey, my children are busy working outside and haven't gone back to see my mother for many years. As the days passed, my body gradually became ill. I wasn't worried when I sent the child away. Today, my daughter came back, but I fell to the ground and my hands became stiff!
Beggar: Hey, old man, can you fall anywhere else? I finally found a good position. You see, those passers-by are afraid to come when they see you lying here, which affects my income. How can I do my job if you let me go back?
Old lady: Oh, so you see, you are, you are a fake beggar!
Beggar: Aren't you diving too? Let's meet each other halfway!
Old lady: Be kind. How about this, young man? You help me up, so I won't expose you?
Beggar: (frightened) I have no money to help you. If I have money, I don't need this dress! Old man, you can't eat black! Well, I can't afford to hide if I can't be provoked!
(The beggar packed his things and left in a hurry)
Old lady: alas, alas, don't go, don't talk for a while? Hey, what world is this!
(A and B go on stage)
B: When will the smog in Hefei stop outside the Qingshan Building outside the mountain? I heard that someone was going to treat me, so I grabbed the mask and walked out! (Looking at the sky) Hey, the smog is gone, and the mask can't be used. This is really a good day. Well, I said, why did you invite me to dinner today? I haven't seen you drive at ordinary times!
(A pulls out a cigarette)
Come on, have a cigarette first.
You tried to kill me. I have been smoking for free these days!
(a) Put the cigarette back in the pocket)
Well, I'm going to meet my date this afternoon. We had a good chat online and saw beautiful photos. This is the first time we have met. You are an expert in this field. Please give me more advice. I'll get a reward when it's done. Oh, no, thank you very much! Now let's go buy presents, give me more advice, and then lunch will be on me!
B: For the sake of inviting me to dinner, I will teach you seven tips to sum up life and love, and I promise you a beautiful woman!
A: It seems that I really have the right candidate. Come on, I'll give you a whole pack of cigarettes.
B: No, no, no, you'd better keep it for yourself. Go for a walk. Shopping is very important! Never be vague about buying gifts, especially when you meet a girl for the first time. If you can't buy it well, people will remember you for life ... hey, where are you?
(A takes two steps to stop)
A: Here you are. Come here. Look, an old man fell down ahead. Let's help him!
(Otsuichi pulls the nail arm)
Is your family rich?
A: No, I can't afford to buy a house, drive a car, and look down on illness. ...
B: So old people can't afford it! If it's none of your business, then hang up and hurry, or you can't leave if you say it wrong!
When the old lady saw someone, she struggled to take a look. )
Old lady: Young man, I fell down and can't get up. Please come and help me. ...
(B pulls his armor and pretends not to see it, and walks straight over)
Old lady: Young people nowadays, ah ... I think when I was young, when I saw the old man fall, everyone scrambled to help him. When he did a good deed, he didn't leave his name. Asked his name, he said he was a red scarf. Now the old man is down, like a time bomb, and everyone can't escape. It's really a downward trend.
(a breaks free and stops)
The old man is right. The world now is really worse than before. Besides, the old man doesn't look like he specializes in touching porcelain. Winter is really pitiful. Let's help him!
B: What help? Didn't you watch the news on TV about helping the elderly? It is everywhere: Sichuan children use 80 thousand yuan to help the elderly, and the dream of becoming a rich second generation is instantly broken; The young man in Jinan helped the old man get wronged and had to sell it because he had no money to compensate. ...
A: Okay, okay, don't say it, you panicked!
Everyone wants to help the old man when he falls. Who has no compassion? But think about your parents. They raised you with great pains and suffered a lot. You can't implicate them Think of sons and grandchildren, help the elderly and be poor for three generations. ...
A: Hey, isn't it just "playing SLR for three generations"? It's really humble to see the old man fall and dare not help!
B: It's a shame that there is no money in the wallet. Let's go and give it to the local tyrants for help. These local tyrants, if they don't help two or three old people a day, it's not good to go back to work with their families!
(The old lady's daughter appears like a flower)
B: Look, local tyrant!
Ruhua: Mom, what's wrong with you? Why are you lying on the ground? Are you okay?
B: So it's my own daughter, just right!
Old lady: Daughter, you are back. Mom is fine, but she fell and couldn't get up.
Ruhua: Come, let me help you up!
(A pulls B's arm)
Oh, no, she is the person I want to see. That's it!
Are you sure?
I look at her photos eight times a day. I can't be wrong!
Ruhua: That who, come here!
(b past)
You called me!
Ruhua: I'm not calling you, I'm calling him!
(a) Chop it up and come over)
Ruhua: Why do you look familiar? Oh, I remember. You are a neighbor. Tell me about that object. Why are photos more handsome than others?
A: Meitu Xiu Xiu, Meitu Xiu Xiu!
Ruhua: How can you see the old man fall and not help him? Do you have compassion and public morality?
Ruhua, let me explain!
Ruhua: What's the explanation? Mom, let's go. Pretend I never knew you.
It's your fault. I want to help, but you won't let me help. Great! An old lady fell down and her mother-in-law disappeared!
You can't blame me. Who knows she is your future mother-in-law!
Old lady: Come here, young man. I don't blame you for not helping me, because your heart is still kind, just a little timid. There are indeed many problems in society now, but someone must dare to break this deadlock. What would you think if you were all old and fell to the ground without help? It is convenient for others today, in order to better facilitate yourself in the future.
I see, old lady. I knew that I had made a mistake. If you fall down next time, I will definitely help you!
Ruhua: I'm looking for a beating!
Old lady: Come on, let's all go shopping with me!
Ruhua: I haven't forgiven him yet!
Old lady: Daughter, I can see that this young man is kind-hearted and soft-hearted. He will definitely listen to you in the future, yes!
Ruhua: Mom! All right! However, I have one condition.
A: What conditions?
Ruhua: Never use Mito Xiu Xiu again!
No problem, I promise!
Ruhua: That's more like it.
(Grandpa appears)
Look, an old man fell down.
A: Help quickly!
(The emergence of the new Red Army)
New Red Army: I am a new Red Army, from Jianghuai camp. With a grateful heart, I don't want to leave a name for my good deeds. An old man in front fell down and got up quickly.
B: Jianghuai Factory is showing off its wealth again!
(The new Red Army helps the old man, and the old man holds on to the new Red Army. )
Grandpa: You pushed me down. I won't get up without1800 thousand!
(The new Red Army got rid of the entanglement of the old man)
New Red Army: How can this old man do this? Thirty-six plans, it is better to go!
Grandpa: Don't go. (Standing up and chasing after him) Jianghuai Factory is very rich. How much does it cost?
Oh, you can get up!
A: That was close!
Ruhua: This old man!
Old lady: What the hell!