After more than twenty years of working as a middle and senior manager, I have found only one instance of an improper male-female relationship between subordinates in my own department. This is a true story, the main character is a pair of bitter lovebirds, I am so dealt with.

Time to pull back to more than a decade ago, I went to a new unit just a few days into the job, inadvertently found that two middle-aged male and female colleagues in the department of the body distance is too close, and each other does not have any sensitive reaction. My sixth sense was super strong and I had a vague feeling that their relationship was not normal. Then I learned about it with my assistant, and the result confirmed my sixth sense.

My assistant told me that both had families and were unhappy. The female colleague's husband is a gambler, and the male colleague's wife is always sick and bedridden. The female colleague has a complete family for the sake of her children, and the male colleague can't bear to abandon his sick wife, and both of them have no intention of divorcing.

In the days of living together, perhaps because of the same disease, the two gradually came together, holding the warmth. The two have been good for several years. They comfort each other at work and care for each other in life.

Their thing unit has a lot of colleagues know, some colleagues are very sympathetic, some colleagues are very disdainful.

And then, there are two talkative colleagues, successively to me here to report. I want to pretend I don't know, but I can't.

I asked the two people to the outside cafe, and they had a talk.

It's a good thing that I've been working on this for a long time, but I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do it.

But I also pointed out that the company has rules that do not allow the existence of office romance, not to mention that the relationship between the two people is not in line with traditional morality. Their affair has caused a lot of discussion among coworkers, which has caused a certain adverse impact and has a tendency to spread.

I just came to know their business, then sooner or later or at any time will be passed to the ears of the big leaders, then there is no way back, I can not protect them, go phase will be very ugly. Suggest that they take the initiative to resolve the crisis to avoid embarrassment. And let them say what to do? Is it possible that at least one of the two will go away?

Two people are red in the face, the male colleague said he could resign, asked me to leave the female colleague. The female coworker said it would be best if both stayed and they could break off their relationship.

I asked the female colleague, do you think your program works? Whether you can break it off is a question. Even if you break it off, will anyone believe it? The male coworker immediately said that no one would believe it, counting the female coworker out.

The female coworker added that she left and asked the male coworker to stay. I think these two people encountered a difficult situation, to be able to consider each other for each other, but also quite not easy. So I said, don't push, you two draw a sign, see God's will.

As a result, the female colleague drew "leave" and her tears flowed down immediately. The man immediately said that he should go, the woman stayed, so it is settled.

In this way, the male colleague, handing over the work, left, and went to another company that I introduced to him.

The relationship between the two people has not been broken. After a few years, the male colleague's wife passed away, and the relationship was still maintained. In this way, it has been more than ten years, and still not broken. The two people in this life are quite tired of living.

Friends, if you met my pair of coworkers, how would you deal with it? And how do you see the relationship between the two of them? Tell us about it.

What a coincidence.

It happened to me.

About ten years ago, I was the head of a department, leading a group of 80s.

Then, there is a little handsome, diploma is not high, typist, but handsome, will come to things, will coax people, the daily work of the department of the little girl small daughter-in-law service very happy.

I'm happy to see the atmosphere, after all, can let everyone work up a bit of motivation, as long as it is not too much on the good, this is my idea at the time.

The key is that he has a girlfriend, in another department of the unit, a very good girl, and I am also very familiar with.

That was the background.

One day, the department came to a freshly graduated girl, belonging to the kind of white beauty, right, family conditions, personal conditions are good, looking at the child is also quite honest (later proved that their eyes blind). After considering various situations, I found another female colleague to take her.

In this way, very normal for half a month.

When the work related to the Beijing Olympics came to an end, I invited all my colleagues out for dinner and drinks to celebrate.

Drinking was good, singing was good.

As a 70-year-old middle-aged person, I retired early in the KTV, leaving the space for fun to the guys, and went home to sleep. Before I left, I just told my male colleagues to send their female colleagues home safely.

Later, they told me that they played until 3:00 am to disperse.

Then it was back to the normal work posture.

About three or four days later, because of the provincial leaders to do things, busy until late, after the end, I invited a few overtime colleagues to go out with a barbecue, which there is a small handsome boy.

Because the leadership praise, the day mood is good, we did not drink less, the little master also do not know how, pick my ear muttered: brother, I was that XXX (the new girl) took.

Northeastern barbecue restaurant kind of too noisy environment, six bottles of big snowflakes into the belly after the daze, so I did not understand what he meant for a moment.

With a freshly filled glass of wine, I suddenly had a fucking reaction.

MD, what the hell!

The little handsome boy wrapped his arm around my shoulder and mumbled indistinctly: brother, after the party that day, I sent XXX home, and halfway to eat barbecue ...... other people take the initiative to ......

That day, the little handsome boy popularized a word for me. "three not man": not active, not reject, not responsible.

Really let me three views all broken.

The next day, I arranged the little handsome boy to the night shift group, the little girl arranged to the day shift group, temporarily separated.

A month later, I "returned" the little boy and the little girl to the leadership.

As for where he was placed, I don't care.

When it comes to this kind of thing, as a leader, it's actually quite a headache, but it's also easy to deal with:

First of all, normal interactions, don't intervene, don't interfere with the work, if it doesn't affect the work, the other people are in love with each other, I've never cared about it.

Second, non-normal interactions, such as their own friends, can not be tolerated.

But pay attention to the method of handling, first of all, can not be public, private, do not say, first to them to split, secretly dealt with. Then in a suitable opportunity, at least one of the parties to be transferred out of the post.

If you don't do this, one day you may have to face the family of one of the parties to the door.

A similar situation happened to me in the past when I worked in a hotel, but there was a fundamental difference. The two of them are just in love, and it's a deep love, only love, not marriage, marriage is not talked about. This is what they talked about, and it is also voluntary.

The man is a chef, frying pan throw pot chef, and the woman is also a chef, but the work is different, she is cold pots and cold dishes 枮 board chef, as the saying goes, is specialized in cutting vegetables and meat chopping chicken soft duck kind of work. And she is older than the man to a few years, then I was the head chef, my approach is, outside of 8 hours regardless of, after work regardless of, does not affect the work regardless of, this is the three no policy.

The two faded more than a year, there are feelings, the man's parents asked to get married, the sooner the better, although the woman is older than the man, but work hard, work hard, paychecks are satisfactory, and a share of skilled labor, so both sides of the marriage. But the two young people refused, said did not play enough, once married, not free and easy, so firmly top not married only love.

Just once during the work, I do not know why things two young lovers quarrel, the more noisy the more ferocious, pointing fingers and feet, pointing at the 槡 scolding acacia, the two sides of the parents are also involved, the eight generations of ancestors from the ground out of the scolding. Another year, the boys see the difference, proposed to break up, the girls are reluctant, but there is no way, only to agree. Later the girl and an electronics factory of an electrician married, both are local people, something good to say. Married she quit her job to open another hotel, the last situation is not known. The boys have not been married until now, this is the former workers sent WeChat, his age has been more than 40 years old!

Those who complained about the wide management are those who have not done the leadership.

This kind of thing must be strictly controlled, must be eliminated. Because he is not a benefit to the company.

Since we are overseas, we can't dismiss people we hire at will, at least for three months. We once had a lady in her forties with a nice, well-maintained young face. It didn't take long to attract staff, customers and everyone else. So there were fights over her in the dormitory in the middle of the night, agitating for her to go away together, collective strikes, and male employees stealing snacks and munchies for her. When she was fired she actually secretly sold half of the return airfare I bought so I could buy her another one. I didn't reimburse her. She then got annoyed and told our customers I was making them money and not to come buy my stuff. Customers, employees listen to her, two months later we talked about her, employees or customers, said that the ghost of the time, just three months, I sent her less than 30,000 wages, her income is not less than 25 million.

Or this male employee, the woman left, we came to a 17-18 little girl, the two of them and mixed together, the little girl work is not active, work to look at the phone, we warned, the man came out to make trouble for her. Weighing up the situation, we left the hard working and sharp lad and replaced the girl. This fellow's typical work is affected by the bubble girl, nothing when especially capable, once encountered the girl can not walk road, regardless of the old and young.

Men and women get together, often do not distinguish between you and me, a lot of money, hold things, but also to die. They can't work well at all.

The existence of improper relations between subordinates, ordinary good to deal with,

I have dealt with the relationship between the complex, the guy (cowman) and the factory manager's wife on the good.

At that time, the guy was the department's after-sales service, usually not busy, is quite simple a young man, his relationship with the department are good.

After-sales work content, encountered problems identification, need to go to the workshop to find the various supervisors to confirm, and sometimes the problem is dealt with, can be in the workshop and management personnel to chat a day.

Sometimes most of the day soak in the workshop chatting can be, as long as he can deal with after-sales problems in a timely manner.

At that time, the factory manager's wife was the supervisor of the parts warehouse, and after-sales problems, sometimes the replacement parts were sent, which needed to deal with the factory manager's wife.

The factory manager's wife was less than 30, the appearance of the upper, is a flavorful young woman, than the factory manager 9 years old, I estimate that the age of the guy and the good is also a major reason.

After all, people of the same age have a lot to talk about, talk to a piece, easy to trigger feelings.

And the factory manager and the general manager of the relationship is very good, or classmate relationship, the work of the general manager of the deep value.

The parts warehouse is usually relatively quiet, most of the time is also relatively easy, so the factory manager put his wife in this position.

The guy started and the factory manager's wife on the good, but also because of the after-sales often go to chat trouble.

Two people get along to the end, because the factory manager's wife pregnant.

And this child is not the factory manager's, although the factory manager's wife cheated, but there is still a feeling for the factory manager, and the factory manager has helped her mother's family, so insisted on refusing to take the child.

The guy did not meet such a big thing, and afraid, and sad,

So the night to find me out to drink, I confessed the matter, but also hope that there is a person can be discussed to give an opinion.

I heard then, head is big,

This involves the guy and the factory manager's wife, and further involves the factory manager and my department, as well as the general manager behind the factory manager.

Mishandled, as it involves the top brass, the whole department is seriously affected.

The good thing is that after the accidental pregnancy, the two have already had the intention to separate.

This saved a lot of wrangling.

After the two of them dealt with the hospital, I asked the guy if he had any plans, and he said that leaving was the best option.

And indeed it was, and I also told him to make it clear to the factory manager's wife that he was leaving.

Then, originally, the guy was voluntarily resigned and left.

I am in the operation, from the workshop to mobilize a and supervisor has a relationship with the staff to replace the guy, the guy resigned to deal with, let him take the compensation.

So far, the factory manager's wife did not have any extra words to say, a good get-together, counting on a better solution to this matter.

First, the relationship between men and women has a substantial impact on the work, that has not been able to fuzzy processing, can only deal with the parties. If the company has regulations that men and women can not fall in love, can only let go of a person.

Second, if it is a general relationship between men and women, does not affect the work, most managers can turn a blind eye, or tell the parties to pay attention to the impact of the behavior can be;

Third, if the parties have competitors, or other employees with the purpose of denunciation, there is a set of words, methods to cope with the managers at any time you can take the initiative:

(1) Clearly come to the denunciation

a. Ask him if there is no evidence (and this is not to catch adultery at the scene, where there is clear evidence),

No evidence to let him pay attention to the impact, tell him that your main job is to do performance, I do not want to have no evidence of rumors coming out of you;

b. denunciation of this matter to take a position, said that will arrange for an investigation, as for how to investigate, not to transfer the investigation is the manager's business;

b. denunciation of this matter, said to arrange for an investigation, to investigate how to investigate, not to transfer the investigation is the administrator's business.

c. Form and the person concerned to talk once, told to pay attention to the behavior;

(2) is not to denunciation, intentionally or unintentionally said that there is such a thing

Repeat the above a step can be.

I look at the workplace for you to answer as a veteran of ten years of work, in this part of my professional experience, I have encountered once, think it is also very exciting and helpless.

At that time in 2016, I was just promoted to department manager. Recruited in the middle of the year a university fresh graduate female students, height 168, weight 90 pounds, looks still very beautiful. Since she came to our department, all the boys can't help but secretly sneak a few glances at her, causing the department's work efficiency to drop a lot. But the girl started to be very normal, a lot of times are serious in the work.

I remember one day, I, the girl, and one of my subordinates Wang in the overtime. Almost 10 o'clock in the evening, I look at the time is not early, I intend to go home to rest, but also let the two early to go back, said I left.

Just to the first floor, suddenly realized that I forgot to bring the car keys, so returned to the office to get. Just out of the elevator entrance, suddenly heard some strange sounds. Since there was no one else at the time, the sound was still relatively loud. I then slowly walked to the card position, at that time, this girl was kissing Xiao Wang passionately, at that time I was aware that Xiao Wang had a girlfriend. But at that time, I also stupid, the whole atmosphere that is quite embarrassing, they are also very groundless.

Although this matter is only known to the three of us, but I am very skeptical of the character of Wang. Because he obviously has a girlfriend, but still salivating over the beauty, can not hold their own. So, I then wanted to talk to both of them.

Little Wang first expressed his apologies, saying that he shouldn't have been like this in the office, and that the impact was too bad; the girl was also ashamed and expressed her apologies. I asked the girl, do you know Xiao Wang has a girlfriend? She immediately opened her eyes wide and said that Xiao Wang told him no!

At this point, I could see the true character of Xiao Wang.

The next day, Wang realized that he was wrong, and was afraid that he couldn't get a foothold in the company, so he left the company; the girl found a married man behind her, and was beaten up by the wife of the male employee, who also left the company.

At this point, the story ends.

In my opinion, the existence of improper male-female relationships in the workplace is mostly due to the fact that there is a big problem with the character of both men and women.

But the improper relationship between men and women belongs to the moral problem, and does not violate the rules and regulations of the employer, and does not violate the labor law, so the company can not use this reason to dismiss the employee.

So, if it doesn't affect the working condition, then I suggest you turn a blind eye to it, and talk to them privately, side by side;

If it already affects the work, then you can talk to them openly and honestly, and tell them that this is the workplace, not a place to talk about love, so that they can pay attention.

This kind of thing is not new in the workplace, and I've dealt with it before:

In 13 years, the group's administrative manager (a married man) and personnel manager (a married woman) have been working together for a long time, making each other's image much better, plus they live in the same direction, so a lot of the time, the personnel manager takes the administrative manager's ride to and from work, and the administrative manager's ride to and from work.

At that time, our group has a clear regulation, prohibit employees within the enterprise mutual love and improper male and female relations, if once found must go one. At the same time there are employees will react to this matter in front of me and the president, for the reaction of the parties involved in this matter, I quietly listen to the end of the only ask them a sentence, you reflect the things just chat with me alone or formally reflect? Some people answered me: "just a private chat only" "This kind of thing I hope that in the future, not from your mouth and then who came out, as a manager you need to control their own mouths, do not always gossip, will be their own performance to get up to the main". I admonished to.

Of course, there are also people who will formally react to me, for this formal reaction to the problem of the people, is nothing more than the two of them in their daily work and other people have had a disconnect, so this time will be under the set, and got them to dine together, the evening tour of the photos. In the face of this kind of complaint, generally I will tell them, first of all, these photos can not explain what the problem, can show that they have an inappropriate relationship, and secondly, with the things you reflect I know, down after I will arrange for people to investigate.

But really, how to investigate this kind of thing, there is no way to investigate. Nothing more than two people called to the office to a meal of interrogation and criticism (such a thing how can someone face to face admitted ah).

1) First of all, if such a thing happens, if the enterprise does not have such a clear prohibition, as a leader to hear such a private discussion, as long as it does not affect the normal work, can be laughed off, do not have to be too much to investigate.

2) For those who spread rumors, we should give appropriate warnings and not let them develop unchecked, as the spread of rumors is very harmful to the corporate culture.

3) At the same time, the parties involved in the incident should be given a cautionary talk to warn them that they must pay attention to their own behavior, strengthen self-discipline and moral cultivation, and always walk by the river, so as not to wet their shoes, and to maintain the image and dignity of the corporate management among the employees, so as to avoid bringing a crisis in the family relationship, and negatively impacting on others and the work, and even killing their own bright future!

Once I traveled, the company's supervisor suddenly called me to tell me who and who is good. I was quite surprised at the time, although the company did not explicitly say that colleagues can not talk about love. But the unspoken rule that we all know, is that the same core department can not have, husband and wife or boyfriend and girlfriend. Now they have touched the red line. But what surprised me even more was that one of the female coworkers has a husband and two children, one of whom is just over a year old. The first one is a child who is just over a year old.

One of the male colleagues with us for 5 years, in the company's most difficult time and we work together. So we more or less have to talk about a little bit of favor. As a team leader, encounter this kind of thing. I still have to communicate with them first. The male colleague also graciously admitted in front of me that they are together. He said he is in true love and will treat the female colleague well for the rest of her life. I hope we can give them a chance, because the woman is divorced. The first time I saw this, I was able to get the job done, and I was able to get the job done.

Although the company's unspoken rule is that you can't have a couple or boyfriend/girlfriend in the same core department, there's no explicit rule that says you can't have one. But there is no explicit rule that says you can't have, so I read in the male colleague and we have been working together for many years of feelings, or against the pressure of the management, decided to give us this couple (for the time being, I think) the opportunity to let them continue to stay and work (our company's benefits and salary is very good).

Morally I was not in favor of the male coworker. Because he shouldn't be involved in the life of a woman with a family and children. But there is no way the facts have happened. I'm not sure I've done enough in this case. If I had known earlier, I would have tried to persuade my male colleague!

The ending The least expected thing, still happened. After the two of them got together, they couldn't stand the other coworkers in the company. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that, but I'm going to be able to do it.

My personal opinion is that subordinates can fall in love. But really together, it is best not to be in a department. Avoid breaking up later, we are embarrassed. Another point is that the core of the department, is not allowed to have a husband and wife and boyfriend and girlfriend, because of the risk of involving the company's core technology outflow.

Now this is the case a lot, I previously stationed in the following cities and counties have seen such a thing, the woman also gave birth to a male child for the man, and now are seven or eight years old.

In 2011, I was sent to a city and county below the station, before I went, there has been a distribution workstation, the station manager is a 28-year-old unmarried young man, here let's call him a little charm! I went down, the leadership of the editorial, distribution, advertising, etc. merged together, by me as the person in charge, the following total **** have 11 staff.

Two years later, Xiao Fu has resigned from the job, to the provincial capital to run the business, I heard that it is very good, but also often called Xiaomei and other businessmen to help promote the product. Once, the workstation collective dinner, Xiaomei brought its son who just walked soon to participate, the guys saw the little boy, immediately thought of the little runes, because it is too much like. I immediately remembered that a salesman whispered to me about Xiao Mei and Xiao Fu, it seems, there really is that thing, but I still do not move to drink and chat with the group, because that is the private life of others, I have no right to interfere with them.

Another year later, Xiaomei and her husband divorced, she took her son to leave that home, she has not gone to find Xiao Fu, we do not know, because from then on, Xiaomei and Xiaofu with our guys are out of contact, some people say that Xiaofu with Xiaomei mother and son went to work in Shanghai, some people say it is to go to work in Guiyang......

From this story, I just want to say to everyone, there is an improper relationship between subordinates, if it is not stabbed to make a big deal, as the leader of the, turn a blind eye, pretend not to know, and once a big deal, as the leader of the hard to criticized them, so that they do not get together, so as not to be disciplined.

Generally as a management does not ask others private life, but, up a lot of trouble, the unit of a man and a woman well, I do not know how the woman's husband knew, came to the company to beat the wife of the good-looking, make a department all in the watchful eye, shouting a minister to persuade the woman's husband could not persuade, and finally I personally, took a bottle of mineral water to the man, and said, "I'm not sure if I can do it, but I'm not sure if I can do it. When he finished drinking, said two words, the man left.