1. I should have paid my respects to xx in person, but I'm really sorry that I can't go because of something.

Birth, old age, illness and death are natural laws, and the dead are gone. I hope you don't feel too bad and take good care of yourself.

2, people always have to go, life and death are not up to us. Therefore, it is better to feel sorry for your loss.

3. All good things must come to an end. The dead are gone, and they don't return to heaven. Take care of yourself and feel sorry for your loss!

According to our local situation, everyone who gives gifts has a "charge sheet" for future reference. Moreover, our local host family holds funerals or other banquets, and everyone has the arrangement of "sitting at the table".

If the person who can't attend is a distant relative of the host family, then a seat will be arranged at the banquet. If it is a distant relative, no one is present at this seat, and the villagers will say that the family members are not sensible.

If you just transfer money, you can't prove that you are "polite". I really can't go. If you drag someone else to help you with the ceremony, that person will represent you and arrange to sit in the "seat" to help you explain. There will be no impolite questions, not just money. This is called "replacement" gift, which shows your intention and that "you" have arrived.