At first, out of respect, I lent my class notes to others. Later, after classmate A borrowed the senior notes, I said, "Write them down quickly and give them back to me quickly." As a result, A replied, "What's the hurry? It's not that I don't give them back to you. " Yawning, a nameless anger in my heart, why did the borrower become an uncle instead?
Later, students usually refused to borrow materials. At first, they really felt guilty and thought it was selfish to do so. But if they borrow it, they will be unhappy all day. "Why should I share it with others for free?" So after weighing, I slowly learned to refuse unreasonable demands of others for my own good mood.
To tell the truth, learning to refuse is really a science.
The reasons for refusal are as follows:
Polite version: I didn't write it either; I can't remember clearly; I don't quite understand; My notes are a mess ... (people with good brains basically know that you don't want to lend him anything)
Sorry, I don't like borrowing notes/sharing information. It is reasonable to be sincere and unshakable, not to show a dilemma, not to lend your notes to others, and not to share your labor results. There is no selfishness, personal preference or personal choice. )
But these are only for those who just want to get all the fruits of others' labor for free.
If possible, help students with individual questions, such as a question he didn't understand clearly, a key area in class, etc. Take it as a good thing every day.
After reading several answers, one of them mentioned the problem of pattern, probably saying that "people should be generous and share if they can." However, I think we should reflect our own pattern and the right people. For example, classmate X takes the initiative to sort out the information and is willing to share it, or supplements, modifies and perfects your information after you share it, so I don't need to say it. Everyone will like to share the information with such classmate X.
For those who ask others for resources but are not grateful and are refused to call names, it is better to stay away.
Besides, I have a strange habit. After I share my resources with a person, I will tell him directly, and don't share this information with others without my permission. I really don't like this practice of "offering Buddha with flowers".
Over time, my classmates and friends around me have understood my habits and won't make excessive demands. Moreover, normal people will understand the hard work of sorting out information and will not directly ask you to share it with him.
College life has taught me many choices about "sharing or not sharing". From the beginning of "reluctant but helpless sharing" to "rejecting all sharing requests" and then to "selectively sharing materials", we have formed our own three views of "sharing or not sharing". The mental journey can only be understood by those who have experienced it.
In short, selfishness is not decided by others. It's up to you to share or not. Don't fill your heart with anxiety and injustice for the so-called "generosity".
Of course, if you meet the right person, it is also a good choice to try to share it, which will bring unexpected surprises ~