The old customs include matchmaking, blind date, changing orders, setting orders, going to the door, visiting the church, quarreling and returning to the door. Write the birthdays of sons and daughters on red paper, and the matchmaker will give them to each other as "changed Geng" or "red Geng". If the boxer is successfully combined, they will give each other a token called "Ding Geng". The man gives cloth, and the woman gives an extra pair of cloth shoes, sock soles and insoles. Choosing the right date to greet the bride is called "going through the door" and asking for the bride price and dowry. The customs of marrying the bride, saluting as a gift, entering the bridal chamber and having sex are different. In western Hunan and southern Hunan, it is still popular to cry for marriage. One or two days before marriage, even half a month, I began to sing the "crying wedding song".

It has also developed into a whole set of "wedding songs and dances", including Xi songs, crying wedding songs, blaming mother songs, parting songs, farewell songs, shooting songs (calendar songs), opera songs, matchmaker's bitter songs, child bride songs and so on. And a kind of song and dance "wedding dance" (including Eight Lights) among ethnic minorities. Young men and women are more colorful than Han people in their choice of spouse, betrothal and wedding, and many of them still maintain primitive and quaint characteristics.

Young people of ethnic minorities often get to know each other and look for goals on their way to festivals or fairs. The Miao people's singing activities on April 8 and June 6, catching up with autumn, and the Dong people's "playing with mountains and catching up with depressions" are excellent opportunities for young men and women to get together and make friends. Miao people in western Hunan also have the wind of jumping on the moon. Boys and girls climb the top of the forest in the breeze and moonlight and dance with songs. People who love each other, though strangers, can meet and get engaged.