Will the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law affect children? The harmony of a family is directly related to the healthy growth of children. From the perspective of a grass-roots mother, this paper tells you the influence of family relationship and mother-in-law relationship on children. Let's share the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law together.
Does the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law affect children? 1 Preparing for a wedding, giving birth to a child for one month, and feeding and caring for the child before the age of three are very important hurdles in a woman's life. Whether psychologically or physically, they are the process from youth to maturity, and it is also the most prone period of friction and contradiction between husband and wife, and it is also the dangerous zone where the confrontation between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law leads to conflict and hatred.
If you can't pass the first hurdle, even if you have been in love for nine years, you should say goodbye in that sensitive month. The mother-in-law's family's material commitment and withdrawal from the couple, the couple's expectation of the wedding site expenses was forced to shrink in the face of the unexpected events of the mother-in-law's family, or the bride's excessive expectations for wedding planning exceeded the financial ability of the mother-in-law's family, or the fantasy of material life in one step could not be consistent with the frugal style of the mother-in-law's family, and the mother-in-law's family was poor and poor.
If the first hurdle is the infighting between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, then the second hurdle is the beginning of the transition from tunnel warfare to plain warfare. After years of marriage, the daughter-in-law is not so thin-skinned and her mother-in-law is no longer so polite. Seeing the birth of the third generation, the voice of the whole family began to be casual. If you want to accept it, you have to accept it. If you can't accept it, you have to accept it.
Now everyone pays attention to prenatal and postnatal care. Pregnant women eat this and that, and it is inevitable that they have a bad mouth. Who will wait on you? A mother-in-law said: "We were born to eat radish slices, and our children grew up. Let me make it for you according to the recipe. How can you be so poor and so particular? " Some mother-in-law said, "Let her mother-in-law wait on you. I am terrible and thankless. " Some mothers-in-law know that their daughter-in-law has no mother and have to put oil on her feet. Whoever works is tired. My leg hurts these days, and the contradiction comes. A considerate mother-in-law will cook you two delicious meals to increase nutrition, and a daughter-in-law who is full will also criticize her mother-in-law's cooking. Heartless mother-in-law will let you eat the same pot of rice as others, or ask you to have a baby in the afternoon and work in the fields at noon as you wish. If you raise any objection, my old man will leave. During this period, many kind-hearted mother-in-law tried their best to help their daughter-in-law tide over the difficulties. However, the differences in regional concepts and personalities always make some daughters-in-law who don't know whether they are lucky or not regard what her mother-in-law thinks is the best as dirt and a grass brought by her mother as delicious, so the balance of heaven is out of balance again. Contradictions and suspicions, complaints and accusations, expectations and disappointments, standards and gaps are all mixed together, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has become a ball of wool without a head.
At the third level, the battle between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law changed from plain to hand-to-hand combat, which was quite tragic!
Who will look after these children? There is a struggle between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, so the three families work together, which leads to the contradiction caused by the three standards. Grandma who takes care of her children may be accused by her daughter-in-law of being unsanitary and not knowing how to feed scientifically, and her children are not served well at all; There seems to be less contradiction between the grandmother who took care of the child and the mother-in-law, but the mother-in-law was scolded by her daughter-in-law for deliberately hiding from leisure. My mother is very tired by herself and doesn't want to help at all.
If the mother-in-law can't help with the children for various reasons, there seems to be no reason for her not to rush at this time. You can't say that you are in poor health, that's an excuse to escape; You can't say that you are looking after another son's child, that's your partiality; You can't say you haven't retired yet, so you can't retire early? You can't say that you want to enjoy leisure after retirement. Do you dislike your daughter-in-law or your grandson?
If grandma looks after the children, the old man is noisy and tired while working, which can only make his daughter feel guilty and try to be filial; If the grandmother takes care of the children and the old man is noisy and tired while working, he can only make it clear that his wife will fight with you. Grandma gave up taking care of the children halfway, making the old man really unable to walk; Grandma gave up taking care of the children halfway, which is called playing tricks and trying to be lazy. The contradiction can only be escalated. Coupled with the initial fire in the first two hurdles, as well as the hard work of taking care of the children and the more agitated mood, the war broke out at any time. The poor man can only sit in the crater every day, one is his wife and the other is his mother!
Life is just a few decades, and these three hurdles are the most unforgettable for women. Both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are women, and it is easy to trip over these three hurdles, so there are emotional contradictions and entanglements between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. In fact, looking around, there is still a long way to go, and there are many beautiful things waiting for you to discover and enjoy. If you are a little more atmospheric, cheerful and careless, these three hurdles will pass as soon as you close your eyes. Why bother to influence your mood of traveling and seeing the scenery for these trivial details?
Will the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law affect children? What kind of "mother-in-law relationship" is bad?
It sounds very touching and beautiful "filial piety" type. The daughter-in-law treats her mother-in-law as a mother and complains about losing her temper at will; The mother-in-law regards her daughter-in-law as a daughter who can be taught casually and loses face in front of outsiders. This is a typical ignorance, no emotional intelligence. Teacher Han Huang said in If You Are the One: "Your mother-in-law didn't give birth to you. You are very good, because a man comes together and just respects each other. " Mother-in-law is not mother. She has no moral obligation to take care of your emotions, accommodate you and coax you. It is disrespectful to use her as a trash can to vent her emotions. People's hearts are biased, and most mother-in-law will definitely be partial to their daughters. Once the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is automatically brought in, there will inevitably be a psychological gap, and there may even be a little emotion. Of course, you have been spoiled by your parents for more than 20 years. You are not allowed to get married and send you home to be bullied. Your mother-in-law has no gratitude for your upbringing. Of course, she can't accuse you as unscrupulously as she reprimands her own daughter. Therefore, the "mother-daughter" relationship between mother and daughter is not suitable for most contemporary families, and a relationship of mutual respect at a certain distance will make people more comfortable.
You won't let me, I won't let your "enemy type". As a mother, seeing her precious son who has worked so hard to raise caring for another woman tenderly, her eyes are full of tenderness and consideration, and her heart will be more or less sour. But when you get old, you even feel powerless to take care of yourself. Why not take care of your son alone? Treating the daughter-in-law as an alien invader and blindly playing tricks on the daughter-in-law will only push the son farther and farther, which will make the son who is already tired after a day's work feel more bored. As a daughter-in-law, my mother-in-law is the mother of your lover. It can be said that without her, there would be no excellent lover for you. My mother-in-law has worked hard for most of her life. It's time for her to enjoy life. It's really inappropriate to quarrel with her. Take care of yourself, and I don't want to see my mother crushed by my daughter-in-law. Many older people have to live on other people's faces, so try to be nice to their mother-in-law.
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not good. Why will it seriously affect children's behavior? When two people fall in love, it may really be just each other, but once they get married, it is no longer limited to two people, but between two families. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is really worth studying, because "mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are harmonious, and the whole family is harmonious." Daughter-in-law, also known as "bride", originally had a mother at home, and another one came. If you don't get along well, it's quite like one mountain can't accommodate two tigers and you don't like each other.
The contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is mostly due to the children at home. My mother-in-law has many years of parenting experience. She thinks that her daughter-in-law is too young and often doesn't understand, so she is used to taking care of her children according to her traditional parenting methods. Mother-in-law tends to be soft-hearted and unconditionally doting on her grandchildren. The line between love and doting is blurred, and she doesn't know it or listen to other people's opinions.
On the contrary, the daughter-in-law is educated in the new era and has her own set of parenting ideas. She thinks that children should be raised in her way, and the daughter-in-law may pay more attention to cultivating children's independent thoughts. The collision between the old and new parenting concepts, the collision between arranged and independent concepts has led to a tit-for-tat situation. Mothers can't help but speak ill of their mother-in-law in front of their children and ask them not to imitate their mother-in-law. Mother-in-law will also sneer at her mother in front of her children; The child caught in the middle will feel the double pressure from both sides, feel tired and depressed, and want to escape from this strange circle that makes him in a dilemma everywhere under the banner of love.
Living in a family full of contradictions, mother-in-law and mother-in-law are busy playing tricks on each other and have long ignored the children on the side. The child has forgotten what love is. He felt her rudeness to her mother-in-law from her mother, and he felt her disgust to her mother from her mother-in-law. He gradually became numb and indifferent, and would not try to persuade both sides to resolve conflicts. He will only feel upset and shut the door to this terrible quarrel in disgust. If the relationship between mother and mother-in-law is not handled well, they will only quarrel loudly and attack each other, which will inevitably make children unable to handle interpersonal relationships correctly.
When a child encounters a problem, he will not think calmly and can't solve it well. On the contrary, it will be aggressive, stimulate each other, and may even lead to a bloody case. Originally friendly smile, gentle apology, reconciliation.