Speaking of college life, I believe many people here will not feel strange. The colorful stories that happened in the university left us many sweet and slightly sad memories.
A: I haven't seen you for a long time.
Yes, I've been very busy at work recently.
Every time I see you, to be honest, I think you are boring. But when I can't see you, I will still miss you.
Ah, is this a compliment or an injury?
A: I don't know, everyone. Our Xiao Li has many advantages.
B: Wait a minute. What did you just say?
Xiao Li.
No, this guy doesn't know me.
Ah, I remember, Xiao Wu.
B: That's not right either.
A: Xiao Zhang?
Don't fool around there.
Do you have the right last name or not?
It was my fault. My surname is Wang.
Why don't you just say it? Try to delay everyone's time.
Who are you?
A: I haven't told you cross talk for a long time.
I'm a director now.
A: I just watched several programs, which were really good.
B: It's all carefully rehearsed.
A: But I always feel that this party has a shortcoming as a whole.
B: What are the disadvantages?
A: The actors are all older.
B: Huh?
A: The youngest is twelve or thirteen.
B: still big.
A: There are also people in their twenties, who go out at the age of twenty and go shopping at the age of thirty.
B: At this age.
A: Don't say we are still young.
B: (stunned, reluctantly) Yes, we are still a little young (touching our beards).
A: Like those actors, all the old temples with broken lights lost their petals because of the autumn fragrance falling on the moon.
B: Our little brother is still a spring flower.
What do you mean?
B: beautiful and bright.
A: Begonia in April.
What do you mean?
A: A flower hasn't opened yet. We are in the bud.
Yes, I'm thinking it won't bloom either.
A: Why?
B: the roots are rotten. How can I open them?
A: You look down on old comrades by saying that.
B: It's time. You can't compare with young comrades.
Didn't you hear what they said? A man is a semi-finished product at the age of twenty.
How about thirty?
A: Finished products.
Forty?
A: Fine products. The seats in this first row are all fine products.
B: How about fifty yuan?
A: Top grade.
B: Sixty.
A: The best.
B: If you keep talking like this, that 100-year-old man is the best. To tell the truth, my grandfather is over 100 this year. ...
A: Not the best.
What is that?
A: Souvenirs.
B: What do you mean?
A: Your generation should catch up.
Which generation are we?
A: College students, just a few days after arriving at the station, fell in love with their female classmates and got married.
It's nothing. It's normal.
A: Yes, everyone thinks it's quite normal now, but we couldn't at that time.
B: Why not?
A: At that time, male students chattered when they arrived at the station.
I fell down.
I was assigned to the guard platoon to stand guard.
What about the female students?
A: Gaga.
B: I fell again.
I was assigned to the cookhouse squad to cook.
B: ok, stand guard and cook.
A: It is difficult to meet each other at ordinary times.
B: Not together.
I finally got a chance to meet a man and a woman.
B: It's also underground work.
A: The leader spoke.
What are you talking about?
A: No way. What can we do together?
B: Yes.
A: This doesn't make sense.
B: why doesn't it make sense?
A: If you think about it, you can always make do together. He must want something to happen. How can he say nothing?
That's true.
A: You can't tell if you want to count further.
B: Count it again. That's learning.
A: When we were in college, boys were not allowed to enter the girls' dormitory.
B: I'm still afraid of something
A: It's hard to get in.
How hard is it?
First, register, and then sign. You must put your documents there. It's like being with the army.
B: Not the same thing.
A: That doesn't count. You should bow and laugh with your aunt who looks at the entrance.
B: it's hard enough.
A: It's hard to get in. There is another rule.
What are the rules?
All boys must evacuate before 8 pm.
Yes, the lights are going out. What are you doing there?
A: So every day from one to eight o'clock, you listen to the aunt at the entrance and start shouting.
What are you yelling about?
Girls, I've come to see you off.
Why do I sound so awkward?
A: Waiting for someone else's girl's birthday.
B: how about your birthday?
A: Light a song on the school speaker, buy two roses and ask girls out.
What are you doing?
Yes, what are you doing?
B: Let's go to the movies.
A: Other girls don't go.
Please eat.
You give me money?
What does this have to do with me?
If you want to go, you can invite me to dinner.
Not yet? Then let's go.
A: They came to the hotel together.
B: Huh?
A: Hotel.
B: I'm thinking about the hotel.
A: I don't have much money in my pocket, but I have to dig it out.
B: (pretending to be a waiter) Hello, sir. Please sit inside.
A: Sitting inside, the environment is not bad. Is there a private room?
Yes, but there is an extra charge.
A: This is extra ... I'm just asking. Just the two of us. I am full in a private room.
(This sketch script is from www.pangdan.com, Fat Egg Sketch Funny Encyclopedia)
B: It's full before dinner, so you two can sit down.
A: Sit down. The waiter will hand over the menu.
B: I'm ready to order.
A: Order? I won't order it
B: No?
A: Let me ask you what you have here.
B: It seems that this guy can't order. I got him into trouble. Excuse me, what dishes have you had enough?
What food have I eaten? Let me tell you this, I haven't eaten flies in the sky; I have never eaten ants crawling on the ground; I have never eaten a man with two legs; Four legs, I really haven't eaten the bench. What have I eaten?
Pretty crazy.
A: What are your specialties here?
Sir, we do a good job of stirring beef tongue here. Would you like to have a try?
A: Just try it. how much is it?
B: Eighty.
A: Eight ... How to eat the dirty things in this animal's mouth? Tell you what, you give me two eggs.
Wow, the food in this ass is edible.
A: What do you mean? I like this. I want eggs. What happened? I want duck eggs. I want scrambled duck eggs with eggs. Are you in charge?
B: Well, listen, the gentleman sitting by the window with a girl wants an asshole.
What are you talking about?
B: Fried duck eggs with eggs. Isn't that an asshole?
Yes, you can. I don't eat here. I won't eat. Let's leave now.
B: I didn't want to eat this here on purpose.
A: After searching for more than two hours, I finally found a good place.
B: Where?
A: Steamed bun shop.
B: ok, it's cheap enough.
A: Cheap is cheap, but there are many flies.
There can't be flies in the steamed bun shop.
A: No way. Take roses to drive away flies.
Will this work?
A: Don't worry about how to eat.
Yes, I saw it.
After dinner, we danced and chatted together until midnight.
Is that girl willing to get along with you?
A: Isn't that nonsense? Don't look at me now. I looked like this when I was young. Let me tell you, people even gave their lives for me.
Really?
Of course, someone told me.
What did you say?/Sorry?
If you pester me again, I will die.
Well, it didn't work.
I went back to the dormitory to sleep in frustration. I heard a creaking sound as soon as I entered the door.
B: What's the matter?
A: Our dormitory boss sleeps and grinds his teeth.
B: Very penetrating.
You talk in your sleep after grinding your teeth.
Say what?
A: Hey, I haven't eaten human flesh for a long time.
B: Boy.
I was too scared to sleep all night.
B: It's scary enough.
A: In a blink of an eye, the exam is coming.
Final exam.
I am in such a hurry that I can't do anything.
B: Then what do you usually study?
A: haven't I learned how to fall in love yet?
Now you are in trouble.
What should we do? I see.
I have an idea.
I'm going to find the teacher.
B: What's the use of finding a teacher?
A: I went to the teacher and said it was my fault. I really shouldn't be obsessed with falling in love. At this point, you should give me a hand anyway, otherwise, you can tell me the exam topic.
B: Is that more like it?
A: If you don't want to tell me, please give me some advice on how to practice this course well, preferably quickly.
Is it possible to give you some advice?
A: You're welcome. After listening to my words, the teacher took a pen and wrote a few words on the note without saying anything. Finally, he put the note and a toolbox in.
This is a clever trick. Open it and have a look.
I opened it and saw eight big characters on it.
What did you say?/Sorry?
A: If you want to practice magic, you can wave a knife from the palace.
Well, you asked for it.
I am so angry. I won't tell you if I don't tell you. Why should I get hurt? No, I have to settle accounts with him.
B: You can handle it.
A: I just wanted to argue with him. Before I could speak, he came up and gave me a big mouth.
B: How does this teacher hit people?
Yes, I think so too. Take a closer look, it's wrong.
B: What's the matter?
It was not the teacher who hit me.
Who's that?
A: My wife.
B: Huh?
A: My wife said that.
I saw it.
What do you mean? You're not awake. It is time. Quit the exercise.