There is a famous educational proverb that every child should walk with his head held high. "Hold your head high" means having confidence in yourself, the future and what you want to do. Anyone, when he swaggered forward, has a lot of subtext in his mind? d？ D "I can do it", "I can achieve my goal", "I will do well" and "a little setback is nothing to me" ... If every child has such a mentality, he will make continuous progress and become a good student with all-round development in morality, intelligence and physique.
Respect and appreciate children
Some people say that children are a book, and parents are diligent editors and loyal readers of this book. Parents should be good at seeing what they need and what they lack from their children's books, just as farmers know when to fertilize and water crops.
Children are eager for respect, equality and appreciation. It is very important for parents to appreciate, respect and protect their children psychologically. It can heal children's mental trauma, help children overcome their inferiority complex, establish self-esteem, self-reliance, self-confidence and self-improvement, and let children walk with their heads up.
Zu Chongzhi was a famous astronomer and mathematician in Song Dynasty, who was famous for his study of pi. He was born in a small official family. His grandfather's name is Zuchang, and he is a senior official in charge of construction engineering. Father's name is Zu Shuozhi, and he is a civil servant who is familiar with classics. Parents can see how Zuchang made his grandson walk with his head up.
One day, the person in power at that time said that Shao was "extremely clever" and asked him to go to the school to give lectures on Confucian classics. After hearing this, Zushuo went home, gave his son Zu Chongzhi to him and told him that Shao could do it. He said:
"Come on, you are nine years old this year. I want to teach you to read. Only by reading the classics can you become a big official, make a fortune, and honor your ancestors! " Zu Chongzhi confused listen.
Since then, Zushuo's godson has been very strict about reading classics. He has a wooden ruler in his hand and often knocks on the table. Zu Chongzhi was too sad to learn a word under his father's majesty. The father was so anxious that he was sweating and his eyes were burning, but his son was still puzzled. I was so angry ZuShuo constantly scold a way:
"Idiot, stupid cow, but a wooden skull, worthless!"
Zu Chongzhi was persecuted by his father, bitten to grind and said:
"I don't want to read this book. I'm not interested at all! "
My father trembled with anger. I reached out and slapped my son. When my father hit me, I burst into tears. Grandpa heard this, and Crescent said to his father:
"I hit him for his own good. He can only recite five or six sentences in three days and can't explain a word clearly. What will happen to him after this? "
ZuChang face a heavy said:
"Some people are full of scriptures, but they can't do anything. No matter what books the Crown Prince reads, the descendants of our family will not be classic slaves! Be sure to let pets learn more useful skills in the future. I think our family is very smart. You can go home and do something new when you usually see it. " Grandpa said, and took his grandson's hand and left.
Grandpa is a construction worker. From then on, he often took his grandson and took him to the construction site. Xiao Chong went straight to see the workers sweating like rain, some digging and some moving stones, and the labor scene was really warm. Across the river is Yunxi River, on the other side of the river is a hill, and there are white clouds floating on the top of the mountain ... All this has opened his eyes and made everything feel fresh.
Zu Chongzhi met a group of rural children and had a good time with them. In the evening, I enjoyed the cool air with my children and saw the stars twinkling in the sky, but Zu Chongzhi couldn't name them. Those rural children can skillfully call out by pointing to the sky: that's Altair, that's Vega, and the Big Dipper over there. And they will say a cruel word: "The first day you can't see it, the next day it's a line ..." This aroused Zu Chongzhi's great interest. He immediately asked his grandfather, who said, "The moon has its own rules. Good boy, it seems that you are interested in astronomy. Ok, there are many books on astronomical calendars in our family. I'll find some to show you. Ask grandpa if you don't understand anything, okay? " Zu Chongzhi almost jumped for joy.
From then on, Zu Chongzhi began to study books on astronomy and calendar, and studied the operation of the ladder and the laws of the calendar. If you don't understand anything, ask grandpa for advice. The two of them work well together. They read Zhang Heng's article "Lingxian County" word for word, and grandpa led his grandson to find an official who has made great achievements in studying astronomy in his spare time.
In this way, day after day, year after year, under the education of his grandfather, Zu Chongzhi finally made achievements in astronomy, calendar and mathematics, and became an outstanding scientist in ancient China. Imagine that if Zu Chongzhi is forced to study Confucian classics, perhaps the study of pi will be delayed for a long time, and there will be one less outstanding scientist in the history of China civilization. It seems that how to respect and appreciate children is still very important.
◆ Parents should be good at discovering children's hobbies, and at the same time respect their own wishes and provide conditional support and guidance.
◆ Don't twist the child's "stubborn" strength. Although the stubborn child makes adults feel impatient, he protects himself well and prevents his self-esteem and self-confidence from being frustrated. His psychological development is relatively normal, and he may become a confident and successful person.
◆ Guide children to use positive self-language hints and let them think positively for themselves. "I want to think for myself" and "I want to do it myself" After self-language suggestion, children will inevitably use their own abilities to achieve their goals.
◆ Parents learn to appreciate their children. Some children have no confidence in themselves, mainly because their parents underestimate their abilities, or regard their strengths as shortcomings, which makes children psychologically dwarf themselves.
◆ Tell the child a "summary of advantages", tell him what his father, mother, grandfather, grandmother and teacher admire most, and increase his self-confidence.
Let children learn to believe in themselves
Self-confidence is the most important psychological quality of successful people, but it is not innate. Parents must guide them correctly from an early age so that children can learn to believe in themselves.
Most parents don't care about "self-confidence", but only care about their children's school performance and academic performance. Therefore, when a child's academic performance or academic performance is not ideal, he will often be severely accused or punished, which will make the child feel ignorant and guilty, thus destroying his self-confidence, leading to his lower and lower grades and lack of interest in learning. If parents can do something to make children learn to believe in themselves, then children will grow up healthier.
During the Western Jin Dynasty in China, there was a famous writer whose surname was Zuo Mingsi, and his words were too strong. His home is now in Zibo.
Perhaps everyone can't imagine that Zuo Si, who later became a great writer, was a silly child when he was a child, ugly and clumsy, and was often laughed at by the children around him.
For example, he is slow to read, and all his classmates understand, but he still doesn't understand. He asked the teacher again and again, but he still didn't understand. He was too embarrassed to ask and was afraid of being laughed at by others. So he gulped down his studies and became more and more confused, so that after studying for a year, he finally fell far behind others and did poorly in the exam.
My father always hoped that Zuo Si could learn knowledge at school like other children. However, when he saw this situation, he sighed and said, "This child has poor understanding and is not cut out for reading and writing. Tell him to practice hard, copy and write, and find a job in the future. "
However, when he practices calligraphy, he is always afraid that he can't write well. When his father scolded him, when he was nervous, he couldn't hold the pen well and his words were deformed. The written words are just like being scratched by chicken feet.
So, the father thought, the child can't write anything, so let him learn to play drums and blow, and he will come to the band to make a living with others.
However, Zuo Si has no interest in the drum set and can't learn well. He doesn't want to study hard. He often knocks the wrong keys and plays the piano out of tune.
Father can't think of any way anymore. Children can't learn anything, what to do in the future. But as the saying goes, God is hungry and blind, so let him go.
One day, Zuo Si was writing and drawing again. I haven't seen any progress after practicing for a long time, so I'm very unhappy. Although the father is a little unhappy to see that his son can't learn everything, he is his own son after all. He just feels a little sad, but his love for his son is still very strong. Whenever I see my children being laughed at and ridiculed by other children of the same age, I feel very sad. It hurts to see the children's efforts and discouragement.
He bowed his head in thought. I looked up and saw the yard. I saw a mantis climb from the root to the tree. The mantis climbed the tree and caught my father's attention. The father had a brainwave and thought he could use it to educate his children. He immediately called Zuo Si and asked:
"Si Er, what do you think that is?" Father pointed to the direction of mantis.
Zuo Si looked in the direction pointed by his father. He saw a mantis dragging its thin legs and struggling to climb up bit by bit. It took a lot of effort and a long time to climb up. Father said:
"The monkey jumped up. Although mantis can't be as fast as a monkey, it still climbs a little tree. As long as you work hard, you will succeed "Zuo Si listened to his father, looked at the mantis in the tree and suddenly realized something.
At this time, Zuo Si saw two birds landing on the treetops at the same time. Two birds, one big and one small, fly faster than the small one. He saw the bird resting on the treetop for a while, and then continued to fly to the tree in front. Although the big bird flies fast, it has a long rest in the tree, and then it flies to the tree in front. Finally, the two birds stopped in the tree in front almost at the same time. Seeing this, Zuo Si suddenly realized that it was the stupid bird that flew first!
Although Zuo Si is still young, he also understands his father's mind. It seems that they all have the same head. Why can others learn? I can't. I will learn what others can learn.
Mantis climbs trees, and stupid birds fly first, which makes Zuo Si understand the truth of learning. I am not a monkey or a big bird, but I can learn a little from mantis, learn a little from birds, start flying first, and have less rest in the middle. Stupid birds fly first, so I get up earlier than others. Read first, practice first. ...
From then on, Zuo Si silently followed this train of thought, and his academic performance really went up. Others pay more for reading, writing and doing anything. The floodgate of knowledge is opened, his memory and understanding are not bad, and his confidence in learning is finally there.
Under the active guidance of his father, Zuo Si found self-confidence, and finally achieved the same achievements as others, and later even surpassed the average person. Later, he wrote Qi Du Fu, and even completed Sandu Fu in the face of challenges, becoming a great writer on par with Lu Ji, who has long been famous.
To let children learn to believe in themselves, they can start by doing something within their power, such as the following aspects:
◆ Encourage children to try and do what they can. Children are curious about why newborn calves are not afraid of tigers. Parents can guide their children to explore while ensuring their safety.
◆ Timely affirm how to praise children's little progress. People's self-confidence sometimes needs outside support. If an action is affirmed by the outside world, self-confidence will inevitably increase greatly. Adults are still like this, and children need praise more.
◆ Consciously let the children bear some responsibilities. For example, let children pick up toys and books and clean up. It can not only exercise their ability, but also give them self-esteem and know that there are many things "I can do it" and "I have the ability".
◆ Let children participate in arranging family affairs. For example, discuss weekend play plans or family dinner recipes during holidays, and let children participate, from which they can not only learn to be independent, but also find confidence in life.