Expect too much from children.

In most families in China, children are the center of the center.

Parents revolve around their children all day and plan everything for them. This kind of planning begins from pregnancy.

In order to let children not lose at the starting line, in order to let children enter the best kindergarten, the best primary school, the best middle school, the best university, find a stable job, find a good object and buy a good house until their children get married and have their own children. ...

During this period, there are all kinds of worries, comparisons, choices, efforts, incompetence, hopes, setbacks, and early knowledge of why we have today. It is often when children grow up and get old that they begin to expect children to repay themselves and be filial to themselves.

So tired for decades, why not?

The root cause of this kind of fatigue is that parents expect too much from their children, including their personal development and return.

Wise parents should care about their children's life and happiness, not their survival. Moreover, such high expectations are not only stressful for parents, but also for children.

But why do we have such high expectations for our children? Isn't it great that he can grow up healthily and become an independent, independent and happy adult?

If mom and dad can get through this, put aside their expectations of their children's external fame and fortune, and pay attention to the inner peace and satisfaction of their children and parents, it will be much easier to educate their children.

2

People other than parents are involved too much.

The typical scene of a family in China is a group of people with a baby, who are taken care of by their parents, and grandparents are always on standby.

We might as well make an analogy. A small family is like a company. Mom and dad should be wholly-owned shareholders, the highest responsible person, and have the decision-making power in all affairs.

However, many families have accepted various investments from their elders-subsidizing the purchase of houses, taking care of babies, helping to take care of babies, and so on. So grandpa, grandma, grandpa, grandma, because of their own investment, more or less have the ownership of this family and become shareholders.

Since they are shareholders, they should express their opinions, participate in decision-making, and some even demand that they have a veto power. Such a management structure makes the original simple family affairs extremely complicated. As the head of the family, how can mom and dad not be tired?

What's more, some parents don't even guarantee the status of the head of the family, and they need to let their parents decide their own family affairs, so everyone is more laborious and full of contradictions.

three

Dad is too involved.

There is a very sharp saying, called widowed parenting. It is said that dad is not involved in educating children and is absent from their growth.

Taking care of children is a mother's business, which is probably the normal state of many families in China, and it is also an important reason why quite a few mothers feel tired of taking care of children.

If parents cooperate, they can not only share the specific work in life, but also discuss the size of their children and put them into action together after reaching a consensus.

The advantage of this is that the workload is reduced by sharing, and both children and parents can establish close relationships. Of course, more importantly, the company of parents will make children's psychology and personality develop more soundly.

four

Excessive interference in children's affairs

Parents want to do their best for their children, but they often interfere with their children's affairs too much, which makes them unable to be independent from an early age.

Children go to school, help carry schoolbags and remember homework;

Children do their homework and stay with them and stare at them;

What tasks did the teacher assign? Often children haven't thought about what to do, and their parents have already rushed to help them finish it. ...

In this way, there are almost only two things left in a child's life: attending classes and attending extra long classes. They can neither cultivate the ability to study independently nor live independently, so their parents have to take care of them all the time, and they are very tired.

We can't be with children all our lives. Only by cultivating children's autonomy from an early age, including independent living, independent learning, independent reading and independent emotions, can parents really relax.

Moreover, this is not to be lazy, but to let children really grow into an independent individual, become a better self, and make better contributions to this society.

five

Information overload, lack of views

There is another reason why China's parents are tired of raising children, which is not so obvious, but it certainly exists, that is, they have been exposed to too much information, but they lack opinions on how to educate their children.

Seeing that children need prenatal education on the internet, they quickly go to learn prenatal education;

Seeing that children need early education, they will quickly take their children to various early education classes;

Seeing that the newborn needs swimming exercise, take the child to the infant swimming pool;

Seeing that the child wants to make up this and that, he quickly went to buy it for the child to eat. ...

A lot of time and energy are spent running around tracking this information.

Life needs a certain degree of separation. We really don't need so much information. What's more important is to form our own opinions through study and practical experience-I know what kind of method is good, what I should do, what I should stick to and what I should adjust.

In this way, it will not be impacted and overwhelmed by overloaded information, and it can also adopt a simple, efficient and relaxed way in the process of educating children.

six

The heart of comparison is too heavy.

Other children are in all kinds of extra-long classes. Are we going to participate? If not, will the child lose at the starting line?

Other children are eating hundreds of barrels of foreign milk powder. If you don't eat it, will it affect your child's development?

Other children are wearing famous brands and brands. If we don't buy it, will we be laughed at for being poor?

Others, others, others. ...

In the eyes of a considerable number of parents, no matter what they do or how they do it, they are often guided by what others do and what they do.

We should always look at others and try our best to keep up with them so as not to fall behind. How can I not be anxious or tired?

However, others are others, we are us, and we have our own principles and ideas for educating children. Why do you want to follow others?

If mom and dad can get through this, things will be much easier.

seven

Irrational consumption leads to excessive economic pressure.

One of the most unavoidable reasons for raising children is economic pressure. Some parents unilaterally think that they should try their best to give their children the best, so their consumption is not rational enough, resulting in excessive economic pressure.

When buying things for children, regardless of the family's economic situation, only buying the most expensive and irrational consumption will inevitably bring too much pressure to yourself.

As the saying goes, it is not hard for a child to give birth to a child from the ground, but hard work does not mean stress and fatigue. No matter what way, it is not important to love children, but it is important for children to feel love.

(This article comes from: Baidu Baby knows that I am a small cockroach)

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