Cold knowledge

Subvert your cognition one by one.

No. 1, Chaney effect

Psychological case: Zegoni effect

Psychologists have done such a group of experiments, dividing 100 people into two groups on average, and tasting a cake with perfect taste and the same appearance color respectively. The difference is that group A has unlimited cakes, while group B can only taste a small piece of cake. However, it was found that the memory of taste and appearance of cake in group A was significantly lower than that in group B.

This experiment also shows that people are born with limited acceptance of one thing, but when their desire for satisfaction is fully satisfied, they will forget what they have fully experienced.

Therefore, in the early days of love, try not to over-consume freshness and desire, such as high-frequency intimate behavior and sticking to each other's company, which will easily lead to the rapid cooling of emotional needs of both parties.

Second, the broken window effect.

If the bad phenomenon in the environment is not stopped, but allowed to exist, then the sender will agree with his behavior and even intensify it.

In other words, whether men and women are extremely negative behaviors such as domestic violence and derailment is only the difference between 0 times and countless times. In fact, people are essentially exploratory creatures, that is to say, for the wrong behavior, they often look for each other's boundaries and bottom lines in temptation.

In sexual behavior, if the other party has the intention of extreme harm, and your boundary is weak and unprincipled, then his harmful behavior will deepen with repeated temptation.

Third, the first cause rule

People are actually a kind of visual animals, and the first impressions of both sexes are often the most vivid and profound.

In other words, what kind of first impression you give each other will intuitively reflect "what kind of person you are and what kind of attitude you have towards life".

Therefore, the first impression is particularly important between men and women. After all, in this society, no one wants to explore your so-called interesting soul through your bad appearance.

Fourth, the recent effect.

Contrary to the first reason, it means that when many stimuli appear at the same time, the formation of impression mainly depends on the recent and strongest past events.

The longer the relationship between men and women, the easier it is to be dominated by recency effect.

Therefore, in love, you should know how to fine-tune your attitude and behavior from time to time, so that the other party feels that you are making efforts and changes for the negative personality, and the relationship between the two will naturally enter a virtuous circle.

Fifth, loss aversion effect.

psychological

"Loss aversion", when people face the same amount of gains and losses, the negative utility brought by loss regret is 2~2.5 times that of gains.

For example, even if you respond to your ex with disgust and disgust after breaking up, you can't help but think of him and miss the good times with him.

In the relationship between men and women, loss and destruction often have a greater impact on you than gain, emotion and joy.

Therefore, it is a normal instinctive state of mind to feel nostalgic for the past after breaking up. Don't blame yourself too much, force yourself to let go. How often, no matter whether it is new love or time, it can help you get out of the shadow of lovelorn.

Sixth, the sweet lemon effect.

In psychology, it means that when people fail to pursue their goals, in order to dilute their inner anxiety, they will try their best to improve their own value, so as to achieve psychological balance and comfort, but in fact they are careless and enjoy themselves.

When a person is afraid to face his own failure, he will naturally feel psychologically uneasy, thus subjectively improving his self-worth and hypnotizing himself with absurd reasons.

So when everyone around you is loved except yourself, don't always think that you are too perfect and excellent to keep the opposite sex away. But to know how to reflect on yourself, whether it is personality or habit that makes people afraid to approach.