To resolve the tense relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, as long as you do these 3 points, you can turn hostility into friendship

Original/Jing Yuehe

Introduction:

Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law It has always been an indisputable fact that relationships are difficult to get along with. Unless the mother-in-law is sensible and the daughter-in-law understands justice, they must not live together for a long time before they can live in peace.

However, this ideal state is not common. War between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law often occurs in life, which makes it difficult for the husband caught in the middle.

But life has to go on, and the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law also have to face it. How can we avoid tension in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and improve the tense atmosphere?

In fact, as long as you can do the following three points, you can avoid friction, reduce disputes, and maintain harmony and stability in marriage and family. That is:

1. Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should treat each other sincerely, learn to appreciate and like each other;

2. Learn to exercise restraint when encountering problems, and do not always find fault with the other party;

3. To save other people’s face is to save one’s own face. 01. Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should treat each other sincerely and learn to appreciate and like each other

It is said that women should not make things difficult for women. But sometimes, women just love and make things difficult for women. For example, a mother-in-law and a daughter-in-law can obviously get along peacefully, like the same man, and worry about and contribute to the man's happiness for the rest of his life.

But their starting points are different. My mother-in-law loves her son so much that she can’t love her too much. No matter how much she looks at her, she feels that her son is a treasure and there is not a single flaw in him;

When a daughter-in-law looks at her husband, the look in her eyes is filled with happiness in the intimacy, and warmth in the sweetness. It is 100 times hotter than the way a mother-in-law looks at her son.

The mother-in-law quit, and the son who grew up in the hands of his mother, after getting married, his heart was actually occupied by a woman called his daughter-in-law. The son's clinging attitude with his wife all day long makes the mother angry just by looking at him. He is not the same good son who always obeys her. He is clearly a white-eyed wolf who married his wife and forgot about his mother.

No matter how the son treats his mother or neglects her, the mother will never bear grudge against her son. On the contrary, the mother-in-law will impose all her resentments on her daughter-in-law. She thought that her son was instigated by her daughter-in-law to kidnap her beloved son away from her, so she alienated her and neglected her.

The mother-in-law's hatred grew like this day by day. When one day, the daughter-in-law was intimate with, criticized, or fought with her husband in front of the mother-in-law, the mother-in-law couldn't sit still anymore and took out her elders' He showed his dignity and began to teach his daughter-in-law a lesson.

Said she lacked education and did not understand etiquette; said she was arrogant and disrespectful. Actually, in front of the elders, he behaved in a demeaning and degrading manner that was detrimental to the husband's dignity.

My daughter-in-law must not do it anymore. My flirting with my husband is causing trouble to my mother-in-law. Your son hasn’t said anything yet, mother-in-law, did you stretch your hand too long?

In fact, there is no conflict of interest between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. They both love the same man and have the same goals. As long as everyone positions themselves correctly, understands their respective identities, and does what they should do, there will be no conflicts or disputes.

The battle between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is often caused by the mother-in-law not correcting her position. After her son gets married, she should retreat behind her daughter-in-law in time and let her daughter-in-law take her place to take care of and accompany her son. second half of life.

But the mother-in-law, who did not adjust her mentality in time, found it difficult to accept that her daughter-in-law had usurped her position. As a result, the son only saw his wife and forgot about her as his mother.

This made my mother-in-law very angry, and she couldn't turn around for a while. As a result, the mother-in-law began to make things difficult for her daughter-in-law, hoping to regain her position in her son's heart.

The result of doing this will make life difficult for everyone, and may even ruin the son's happy life.

In reality, except for a few daughter-in-laws with incorrect views, it will be difficult for their mother-in-law to deal with and deal with her. Most daughters-in-law are reasonable and know how to respect their elders. As long as the mother-in-law does not deliberately make things difficult for her daughter-in-law, who would want to make her angry and cause trouble for her husband? 02. When things happen, you must learn to exercise restraint and don’t always want to blame the other party.

Of course, how can a mother-in-law and a daughter-in-law not have conflicts and blush in life? But there is one thing you must pay attention to, and that is: don’t think about winning or losing when encountering problems, let alone get entangled endlessly over a small matter. Because the result of a quarrel is that both sides will suffer losses. Problems must be solved not by arguing, but by sitting down and discussing calmly.

Granny Aya is a very strong woman, and Aya learned the lesson before she got married. At that time, her husband Lu told Aya that they would live alone after marriage and keep a distance from her mother, and that her mother would not hurt her.

But when you get married, you become a family. Even if you want to keep a distance, you still have to face it. During the first Spring Festival after their marriage, Aya and her husband went home to celebrate the New Year. Aya put a lot of thought into buying gifts for her parents-in-law. She thought, no matter what, her mother-in-law would not embarrass her too much.

My husband used to do nothing at home, and there was no need for him to do anything. The daughter-in-law wanted to show off and offered to go grocery shopping.

Aya followed her family’s custom and bought beef, fish and seafood for the New Year. As a result, I was criticized by my mother-in-law: My father-in-law can't eat beef, and she doesn't like seafood. How can I feel safe just buying something they can't eat?

My mother-in-law also said: Nowadays, healthy diet is promoted. We should eat more vegetarian food and buy some meat. How can people eat it?

Aya’s tears of grievance were welling up in her eyes, but she kept smiling. I’m going to buy groceries.

When Aya arrived, the market stalls had been closed, and Aya could only go to the supermarket to buy. As a result, my mother-in-law disliked me: the vegetables I bought were too single and not fresh.

Aya carefully prepared the family's dinner. She didn't rest for a moment since she entered the house. Originally, the husband wanted to go in and help his daughter-in-law, but his mother-in-law stopped him: You talk to your mother and let her take her time.

The laughter of a family of three could be heard from time to time in the living room. Aya tried hard to recall the dishes her father taught her to cook. I thought to myself, no matter what, I can't make my mother-in-law feel that I can't do anything.

In the kitchen, Aya was busy for more than three hours, and a sumptuous dinner was put on the table. My father-in-law couldn't help but praise a few times. My mother-in-law took a bite and said the food was too salty.

Aya should be able to imagine that living in the north, her taste is heavier, while her husband’s family is from the south, so the taste is naturally lighter and sweeter.

The originally good atmosphere was suddenly scolded by the mother-in-law, and everyone's interest suddenly disappeared. The family ate the New Year's Eve dinner in silence, no one wanted to say a word.

Aya thought of her parents’ house, how happy the whole family was together on thirty nights every year. After dinner, everyone sets off fireworks in the yard. Looking at the fireworks blooming in the sky, they will feel full of expectations in their hearts. 03. Saving other people’s face is saving your own face

At the end of the day, Aya already wanted to go back to her home. She didn't want to stay here, being picked on and criticized by her mother-in-law everywhere. The husband advised his wife to be patient and they would go back after the fifth day of the Lunar New Year.

Aya also felt that leaving like this would embarrass her mother-in-law and the others, and also make this new year very unpleasant. Aya chooses to endure it, isn’t it just for a few days? It’s always right not to talk, not to argue, and to spend more time with a smiling face.

In the evening, the family sat and watched TV. Aya habitually leaned on her husband's shoulder, which somehow made her mother-in-law unhappy again.

The mother-in-law said her shoulder hurt and asked her son to rub it for her. Apparently her mother-in-law couldn't stand Aya's behavior and wanted to separate them intentionally.

The husband obediently rubbed his mother’s shoulders. The mother-in-law enjoyed it very much and even told her son about his childhood. Aya sat there unable to say a word.

Aya remembered what her mother had told her: respect your elders, and no matter what your mother-in-law did, do not contradict her mother-in-law, let alone quarrel with her.

As a younger generation, if you can understand the behavior of your elders, you should understand it, and if you can’t understand it, you should endure it. After all, we don’t live with my mother-in-law every day, let alone have conflicts in a short period of time. Because once we break up, every meeting in the future will be unpleasant.

The year spent at her mother-in-law's house has made Aya fully aware that her mother-in-law is really a difficult person to get along with. Not only is she strong and makes everyone listen to her, but she also has a moody personality, and an unintentional word or action from others will make her unhappy.

And once the mother-in-law is unhappy, the people around her will also be unhappy. In front of her mother-in-law, Aya did not dare to say a word to her husband, nor did she dare to make any intimate gestures to her husband.

A few days seemed like a century to Aya. She even felt a little sorry for her husband. How depressing and sad it must be for him to live in such a home for a long time. Looking at her father-in-law with such a good personality, Aya felt that his life was even more difficult.

Before leaving, her mother-in-law took Aya's hand and said: I'm sorry, I have a bad temper. Don't take some words to heart.

It seems that everyone can reflect. Even a strong mother-in-law may feel that something she says or does is inappropriate. After all, they are both women, and their minds are equally sensitive and delicate. How can they not feel the other person's reaction?

Presumably, next time Aya and the others go back, my mother-in-law will definitely change. Written at the end:

Yue He believes that as long as the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can think from each other's perspective and understand each other better, many conflicts can be resolved.

That is, another woman who will accompany and take care of his son throughout his life - his daughter-in-law. Because, from now on, your daughter-in-law will take your place in your son's heart. They will have children together and raise them together. Just like the mother-in-law who watched her son grow up little by little, she would devote all her thoughts to her own small family.

As a mother-in-law, when you see your son and daughter-in-law acting like one person, you should feel happy and bless them both. It's better to watch your son-in-law and his wife live happily and sweetly than to watch them quarrel every three days.

As long as the mother-in-law understands this, she will no longer find fault with her daughter-in-law. Even if the daughter-in-law does not do well in some aspects or does not do it well, it is just a mistake that young people make and is completely forgivable. Don't use the topic to your advantage, as it will not please your wife no matter how you look at it.

In fact, when a mother-in-law truly accepts her daughter-in-law from her heart, she will no longer feel that her daughter-in-law is not worthy of your son, nor will she feel that she has wronged her son.

As a daughter-in-law, the etiquette of respecting the elders cannot be lost no matter what. Since you have chosen to get married, you must respect your husband's parents. At the same time, you must also be grateful: it was the old man who trained your husband so well that you chose him.

At the same time, we must also learn to understand the mother-in-law's mood: in the eyes of the mother, her son is the best person in the world. It's best not to criticize and accuse your husband in front of your mother-in-law, and don't complain to your mother-in-law: saying something bad about her son. Because the mother-in-law always stands on her son's side and will not feel that her son has done anything wrong. Instead, she will blame her daughter-in-law.

As a daughter-in-law, you should understand that if you teach your son a lesson, you are slapping your mother-in-law in the face and making her feel that she has not educated her son well. As a mother, this is the side she least wants to see. In fact, the daughter-in-law is undoubtedly irritating her mother-in-law by doing this.

Today’s topic: Do you think the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is difficult? How do you resolve conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law?