In recent years, the form of funeral has also changed a lot. My view is that "the competition is getting worse and the cost is staggering":
Everywhere we go, we pay more attention to etiquette and rules, "the cost is amazing" and "finally draw a conclusion" Everyone knows undertaker's comings and goings, which can reflect the behavior of the deceased before or after his death. So whether you are in the city or the countryside, you will not be too hasty and simple about the funeral. In fact, the funerals of urban people are more grand and expensive than those of rural people. The cost of catering alone is several times that of rural people.
In our local area, the funerals of rural people usually last for five days, and the old folk rules are cumbersome, and there is no "grade" for funeral offerings. The coffin and clothes of the deceased are less than 10 thousand yuan, and other funerals cost about 20 thousand yuan More than 40,000 to 50,000 are just people who are not rich or have public office. Ordinary people have a ceiling of 20 thousand. I doubt the statement that "the funeral in rural areas is getting worse and worse". It doesn't mean that all white things in rural areas can "keep up with the competition"
Funerals in rural areas may have their "unspeakable" customs. Living in the world and working hard have also given future generations hope to thrive. Always pay homage to the dead, thus forming a funeral culture. If there is a dead person, you should stick to it and gradually regard it as a custom. And the fewer places, the easier it is, and the more it will follow.
Nowadays, it is advocated to change customs and customs, and simplify the complex, but the effect is very small. If there is no hard means, it may take decades or even longer. It is because the customs confined to a few villages can be formed in a few years and then recognized by everyone. They think this is an "ancient" custom, which cannot be changed and can only be passed down.
A way to show filial piety. Funeral etiquette requires the participation of the whole family, and even less the "support" of close relatives. Usually, a respected person in the village holds the position of manager. Then through "appointing" the deputy general manager, ordering gifts, serving food, boiling water, welcoming (accompanying) guests, etc. "Forming a Cabinet" becomes a temporary "funeral deacon meeting" to ensure that everyone has a clear division of labor and is responsible for all funeral affairs.
The funeral was grand because all the people came back from all directions and relatives and friends arrived as scheduled. There are five days (some are seven days) from death to burial. I am very busy, remembering the dead and cherishing my kindness. At the same time, the victim thanked his neighbors and relatives and held a banquet every day. There will be a grand banquet the day before the funeral to express thanks. Otherwise, how can there be a saying that "the dead don't talk, eight fights a day"? In fact, it is a scene of funeral after death. Without this kind of "scene", it is "unfilial" and will lead to ridicule from everyone.
The "hidden rules" of "compensation" and "filial piety" are actually a kind of "heavy burial" by comparing with each other and organizing funerals. Some descendants feel guilty about the old man and want to use it as "compensation". To this end, there are two types:
First, knowing that there is a mistake, adding mistakes to mistakes. Such people ignore their parents on weekdays, and some even dislike the elderly. The old life of the elderly is suffering in all aspects. Just get something to eat as long as you are not hungry. If you are ill, put it off until you can't afford it. A hundred years later, their children are not attacked by their conscience, but are afraid of losing their reputation as unfilial, which is an example.
Second, make a living by yourself and owe more to your parents. Now there is an abnormal phenomenon in rural areas, that is, "hollow villages". Where did everyone go? A few of them live in cities and most of them go out to work to earn money. There are also "empty nesters" and "left-behind elders", who understand the difficulties of their children and will make a living by themselves. Once the old man died, the children felt ashamed and owed too much to their parents, so they had to pay attention to the funeral to make up for it.
In a sense, funerals in rural areas make farmers feel refreshed and think that there is something to express. After all, people can't be buried quietly in the afterlife; Funeral is very complicated, and a family alone may not be able to complete it successfully unless it is particularly rich. Basically, the funeral is held by a family, and the whole village is busy. As for the high cost, this is just a matter of "going out", and the money of "going in" is also rising. As long as it is a funeral with its own banquet, most of them still make ends meet. When it comes to comparison, it is only an individual phenomenon, not all. People think that peace of mind is the highest state.
Nowadays, the trend of "white affairs" in rural areas is becoming more and more serious. In my hometown, it's really scary. Hot dishes and cold dishes add up to ten and eight dishes, and there must be turtles and bullfrogs, which is really unimaginable and even incredible. After all, rural areas have not yet achieved universal prosperity.
It doesn't matter when and why this comparison wind started, but I think it is necessary to cool it down. After all, it is unbearable for many farmers. If we continue to scrape like this, I'm afraid we will eventually blow all the tiles on some family houses into the sea.
It is not easy for people to come into this world. Say goodbye to this world with a little grandeur and excitement. It is an emotional expression or comfort to the living and the dead. But there must be a limit, and don't oppress the parties so hard that they can't breathe. Otherwise, if the deceased knows in heaven, I am afraid he will not agree and recognize it.
Filial piety at birth may be more human and happier than this comparison.
It is true that the "white matter" in rural areas is getting worse and worse, and the cost is staggering.
However, the local government already knows about it. In most villages in my hometown, "Red and White" councils have been set up, and a special team has formulated some regulations according to the actual situation and carried out some major reforms on some funeral customs. For those children who are alive and have not been raised, they have some restrictions and the people are very supportive.
In the past, when an old man died at home, he had to stay at home for three to seven days. These days, he is going to have a big banquet and invite a drummer to sing opera, eat, drink, smoke, drink tea and sing opera. That one doesn't want to be at the bottom, because some people at the bottom laugh at it and look down on it, so everyone tries their best to keep up with the competition. This dollar alone may be as high as 30 thousand to 50 thousand.
The urn is better than the one bought. Some are expensive, but not cheap. The urn should be placed in the official materials, the official materials are the best, and the shroud is the best. There is also "papyrus", which is still very comprehensive, ranging from gas cars in buildings to tea sets, as well as drivers' nannies, Jinshan Yinshan, cornucopia and cash cows in Mi Shan. There are all kinds, some are alive and some are dead.
Now there are new rules. The total cost of a person's death should not exceed 3000. Everything is very simple. Whoever surpasses me, the "Red and White" Council will come forward to prohibit villagers from helping the family and let the children do everything by themselves.
This funeral reform has won the support of most people. In fact, everyone knows in their hearts that when a person dies, everything is over. No matter how good things are, the dead will never see them again, let alone enjoy them. Everything is said and shown to the living, which satisfies the vanity of the living.
The living spent money unjustly, and the dead took the blame. The dead can't see anything. It's a waste, a bad habit and a superstitious behavior. There are so many people who are willing to do their best when their parents are dead.
One: rich people, powerful people, children live in the scenery, parents die in the scenery, show off their wealth, show filial piety and collect property.
Two: For various reasons, people who have not been filial to their parents feel uneasy. They should express their gratitude and regret, so that they can balance their hearts and feel better.
Three: A person who is unfilial in his bones, whose parents are both dead, is also afraid that others will scold him behind his back. They want to put some gold on their faces so that they can go out to meet people and give a disguise for their unfilial behavior. It is also a celebration in their hearts that their parents finally passed away.
Those filial children did their duty when their parents were alive. They take care of their parents and satisfy their wishes. Although they are equally sad, they feel calm in their hearts. They feel that they have the right parents, the right conscience, and the right title of children. They have a clear conscience. But for the parents' funeral, everything is simple, without much trouble, without those forms and without spending that money. They feel at ease.
Everyone has a mirror in his heart. He can feel how good you are to him when he is alive, and he doesn't know how to be filial to him when he is dead. When he was alive, even if he was afraid to let him eat something, he would taste it. When he dies, make him a banquet, don't let him eat, even let him have a look. He can't do it.
I support the reform of funeral and interment. I like children to be filial before they die, and even the ashes can be discarded after they die.
Smoke more than 10 yuan in northern Henan, keep wine and meat every day, and ask some trumpeter bands to be cremated and buried in good coffins. These are all for the living. If there are brothers and sisters at home, you can't spend less. Without your neighbors, you will be called stingy. In fact, when parents are alive, it is much better to spend more time with them or take them to travel during holidays, and it is much better to have a big burial after death. Some family members have never been there when they were alive, and they are reluctant to eat. Work hard all your life and regret being a child.
This problem is common in many rural areas. In rural areas, the comparison of "white things" is indeed becoming more and more intense. @ The well-known Three Gorges witnessed a scene in which "white things" in rural areas became more and more serious.
First of all, there is a high-standard banquet. There is a saying in the countryside that old people die after 70 years old, and white things are red things. Therefore, the villagers all compare with each other. Because the rural economic conditions are good now and the diet itself has undergone earth-shaking changes, we try our best to arrange banquets. In the past, rural areas used to brew corn wine by themselves, but now they all drink bottled wine and smoke more than one pack 10.
Secondly, the gift-giving styles also keep up with each other. In the past, after the death of ordinary villagers, all the neighbors would give gifts, some with a few jins of grain, some with a few jins of noodles, and some with a cigarette about 10 yuan. Now the gifts are all red packets, usually around 100, and wreaths and firecrackers are needed. Relatives of the deceased even compare with each other, and now a band is probably 1200 yuan, and a pack of cigarettes is needed.
In view of the growing phenomenon of "white things" in rural areas, @ The Well-known Three Gorges believes that this trend should not rise, and rural areas and farmers should be guided to rational consumption. First, the village committee should make village rules and regulations, clearly stipulate the living standard of "white things", second, guide villagers to spend rationally and treat "white things" rationally, and third, advocate villagers to be kind and bury thinly, so that the elderly can have a good filial piety when they are alive.
The custom of weddings and funerals in rural areas has a long history. Red events usually hold wedding banquets, graduation banquets, housewarming congratulations banquets and birthday banquets. Later, this custom evolved, such as buying a new car, giving birth to a full-moon baby, opening a shop, regaining freedom, etc ... all the guests who were entertained. The white victim mainly refers to the farewell party when the old man dies, and the family members hold the last farewell for the old man. Due to different local customs, the scale of funeral services varies, some are simple and some are grand. Of course, it depends on the ability of the host. People can be willful when they have money, but others can't control it, but it is not advisable to compare. When the old people are alive, they should be more filial and spend more time with them, so that they can enjoy their old age. As for the grand funeral after death, it is for the living, and the dead can't enjoy any fun at all. Again, just do what he can. There is a true story that happened in my hometown. The old man has three sons and two daughters, and his wife has died for many years. Three sons, daughters-in-law, and grandchildren are working as bosses and doing business in other places, and their daughters are married separately, leaving more than 70 lonely old people. They usually greet the elderly and don't bring much money home for the elderly. Old people have no money to spend, sons don't visit relatives and friends, and neighbors and relatives don't attend weddings and funerals, let alone help others. Later, the old man suddenly fell ill for some reason and died at the indoor door without clothes in the shower. Later, the neighbors were alert. They didn't see the old man for a few days, so they called to ask if the old man's children had gone there to play. After the children asked each other, no one saw them, so they hurried home and found the old man dead. Because of the hot weather at that time, the old man's body had already rotted and smelled bad. Masks, gloves and plastic bags were used, and finally the body was collected for the elderly. Several sons gave a big banquet, sang and danced, held a grand funeral, entertained neighbors, relatives and friends, and did not accept gifts. As a result, forty tables were set, except for a few close relatives, all the other tables were useless, and no one came to attend. It is precisely because they are rich and forget their roots, their hometown and their neighbors, and they can't handle things, proving that no matter how rich they are, others will not pick you up. It is more important to be kind to your parents when they are alive. No matter how rich you are, never forget your hometown.
Life is inseparable from the four steps of birth, aging, illness and death, and from the four processes of emotions. Poor is rich, old is not old. No matter how rich you are, you shouldn't show off in an ostentatious manner. No matter how poor you are, you should not feel inferior. Others have money to make him willful, do his own thing and live his own life. Don't compare and insist, let nature take its course.
My humble opinion on small cadres and big village heads
In response to the deployment of the town government, our village has just set up a "village Committee on weddings, funerals and celebrations". The village secretary is the president, the village director is the vice president, and the members are the "big prime ministers" who often ask questions in the village. The original intention of the establishment was to guide the villagers to be frugal and do new things, and to "bury the elderly thinly".
In rural areas, weddings and funerals have become a normal state. I think this situation should be analyzed from many aspects:
First, ordinary people have money. With the development of national economy and the inclination of rural policy, rural people are getting richer and richer, and have developed from filling their stomachs to eating quality and health. The material foundation determines the superstructure. If you have money in your hand, you are not afraid to spend money. You can think about spending money by law, and there will be weddings and funerals in rural areas.
Second, the psychology of comparison. Rural society is a relatively concentrated and closed small circle, unlike people in cities who are highly mobile, they often have the psychology of keeping up with the joneses. Your family has ten dishes for entertaining friends, and I want fifteen next time: your family needs ten yuan for a pack of cigarettes, and I want twenty yuan next time; Your family has prepared good wine, and my family is not far behind. In the long run, layers of overweight, with face but bitter lining.
Third, rural expenditure "intensified" to see how to compare. Compared with previous years, the cost is indeed increasing. However, the price in rural areas is relatively low, and the dishes cooked at 3500 yuan may be more affordable than the banquets in the city 1000.
What do you think of the wedding ceremony in the countryside?
In fact, it is not just a "white matter." In recent years, the cost of "weddings and funerals" in rural areas has become more and more fierce. In the final analysis, the most important reason is vanity.
A luxurious feast in the countryside
To tell the truth, I sometimes go back to my hometown in the countryside to attend some weddings and funerals, and finally look at the big table where everyone has packed the dishes, which is very sad. In recent years, the comparison of rural white things has intensified, and the cost is amazing, all of which are caused by vanity. Isn't it a shame to see how many banquets and dishes are served in other people's homes, and that you are less than others?
If people's vanity has always existed, then why has the situation of white things become more and more serious in recent years? In fact, this also reflects from one side that the economic level of rural people is better than before. In the past, everyone was poor, how could they afford a big banquet? In recent years, famous agricultural workers have saved some money by working in cities. Coupled with the small circle of rural people, as long as a few people are extravagant and wasteful on white things, others are watching and naturally compare.
To say that rural people have managed to save some money over the years, there is really no need to blindly compare and spend money at will. As the saying goes, children should be raised rather than kissed, and they should be filial to their parents and still have time to spend with them.
Today's New Farmers-Big Black Cattle
Living unfilial, dead nonsense. At present, the phenomenon of "white quality" in rural areas is really serious, and it costs more and more.
Three months ago, I went back to my hometown in the countryside to attend a funeral.
The deceased was a woman in her fifties, and her husband and wife were seriously ill for many years.
It is a famous poor household in the village. According to the regulations, funeral reform should be implemented in rural areas, and the poor must be cremated first when they die. All costs of cremation are paid in full by the government.
When I went back to attend the funeral, it was the day after cremation, and the burial was carried out.
Cremation means no cremation, and there are many kinds of burial.
More than 5000 yuan to buy coffins, more than 2000 yuan to buy shroud (shroud cremated with the body), sacrifice.
When discussing the burial, it was suggested that the deceased liked to watch plays before his death, and he should find actors to sing a few plays with suona classes.
The actor sang a 200 yuan, and many people staged a play and sang board after board. Although it is a poor household, the money is not spent seriously.
Because the deceased was young, it was an only-child family, and the grandson was young, and there were few people crying.
It is suggested that professional cryers can be invited.
The proposer plausibly said that in Siliba Township, most of the people who died at home were hired crying ghosts. That battle was spectacular!
Crying, clearly marked, crying for 50 minutes 800 yuan, crying for an hour is 1000 yuan, crying is crying. If you still care about the 180 yuan, let her cry for an hour.
Fireworks were set off at the funeral. 10 years ago, the old man in the countryside died, and fireworks were set off, about 3000 yuan. In recent years, the idea of comparison has intensified, and fireworks are estimated to be around 8,000 yuan, or even more.
From the death of the deceased, the coffin was carried out of the house and put in the car, and all the way to the burial place, boxes of fireworks were set off along the way.
Because it is daytime, I can't see anything clearly. I just heard: knock, knock, knock ... wasting money, polluting the air, throwing thousands of dollars in vain.
Nowadays, there is a "white matter" in the countryside, and funeral banquets have mushroomed. After the dead are buried, most people are invited to book tables in the countryside to entertain relatives, friends and helpers attending the funeral, some are 20 tables, some are more than 30 tables.
The price of this table is about 500 yuan. Unless otherwise agreed, most of them are eight hot dishes, eight cold dishes, six soups and six big dishes, and the staple food is counted separately. As a result, we ate less and left more, which was really amazing.
Because I don't often live in the countryside, I don't know much about other expenses of "white things". I went to the funeral and intuitively wasted it.
As the saying goes, it is better to buy a piece of candy while alive than to kill a sheep after death.
I hope that people in rural areas (even cities) will buy more "sweets" for their parents when they are alive, and don't wait until they are dead to "kill sheep"-living unfilial and fooling around when they are dead will be laughed at by the world.
Extravagance, I really hate this kind of thing. However, I am deeply involved in it, unable to change, so I have to follow the local customs. I think this should be the truest idea in many people's hearts! On the afternoon of 20 17 Dragon Boat Festival, my mother died.
According to our local custom, we will have a burial, stay at home for seven days, and then go up the mountain for burial.
It was this time that I personally experienced the expense of "white things" in my hometown, which made me exclaim that some people really made a fortune by "dead people". It is they, the so-called Taoist monks or opera singers, who raise the cost of local white affairs and force many people to accept the so-called customs they have set and keep giving them money.
The cost of "white things" here ranges from 40 thousand to 50 thousand to hundreds of thousands. When my mother died, she also spent more than 70 thousand. After spending so much money, some people think that our family is stingy and give them less money. Alas, people's greed can never be satisfied!
Every time a "monk" performs a ceremony, his family will throw them a sum of money. This ceremony, in these seven days, often needs n times.
For example, in the last two days, I have been doing things constantly, singing sad songs and entering the stadium sadly.
First of all, I sang and danced sadly. After singing, I took a plate and began to beg for money directly around the relatives and friends of the deceased.
A few years ago, it was better. Just give me 5 yuan 10 yuan. In recent years, there is nothing good. If you give 20 yuan, there are too few people. You have to pay 50 yuan or 100 yuan. Please note that this is the number that everyone needs.
After the mourning, it was the monk who began to do things and recite scriptures. Relatives of the deceased bowed down in batches. Every son, daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law should pay more money, at least per person 100.
Then the brothers and sisters of the deceased knelt down and put the money on the monk's plate after the worship.
Then the nephew, niece, grandson and granddaughter of the deceased bowed down. After the worship, you still need to pay money and put it on the plate where the monk put the money, but you can take less, which means 10 and 20.
The most expensive thing is going up the mountain on the last day. Singers and Shang both know that this is the best time to make money for the last time. If you miss it, you'll never get another chance.
Therefore, they sing harder and ask for money harder. Really, it is no exaggeration to say that it is blatant and direct!
For example, before going up the mountain, my mother stopped by the roadside to do something. After several waves of bowing.
First of all, we, the daughter and son-in-law, bow down and give each one 100, which is 600.
Then there are my aunts, uncles, aunts, uncles, aunts and so on. At first, they thought of giving dozens of dollars. However, those singers kept shouting, "Big Boss, at least you should start from one hundred. How can I get it without it? " And this, said several times, ignore them, the more they say. Later, there was no way, and people had to bow their heads under the eaves. Can only be given according to their requirements.
Later, my cousins, cousins, cousins, cousins all bowed down and paid for it, more than before.
In addition to these expenses, they also need a lot of alcohol and tobacco.
Every time you travel, you have to smoke a cigarette, you have to ask for something and so on.
Not only that, but the banquet money for nothing also cost a lot. Now everyone is comparing, what grade of cigarettes, what grade of wine, how many dishes are needed and what standards.
Such a series, the cost is really a lot!
My family spent more than 70 thousand, which is still relatively small. We didn't want to be the suckers, so we refused many excessive demands directly. Because we think that when my mother was alive, she was well fed, well fed and happy, even though she was very good in the world. Filial piety before death is far more wasteful than some shops after death, and much stronger than vanity.
It is not good for the elderly to be filial to them before their death. Is it interesting to show others after death?