Do you worry about what relatives think of your child because your child is unwilling to attend family gatherings between relatives, or even worry about relatives gossiping behind your back?
Are you embarrassed because your child is unwilling to "visit relatives" during the Spring Festival and always looks depressed and depressed?
Here, I want to tell you that you are not the only parent who is troubled by all this. In fact, the biggest headache for more and more parents is that their children are becoming less and less gregarious, especially "visiting relatives", and even show strong resistance to attending family gatherings.
What are these young people thinking? Don't they understand the importance of maintaining family ties? Many parents not only can't control their children, but also can't understand what their children are thinking.
For this kind of young people who don't like visiting relatives, they are collectively called "rootless generation" in today's era.
What is rootless generation?
Simply put, in the traditional concept, each small family is like an extension of a leafy tree. And every family member is like a seedling growing on a branch. Although they are different small families, they are also different individuals. However, they have established a kinship network based on blood relationship together, even a big family. When one party is in trouble, family members will help each other more or less, which is their "foundation".
However, with a large number of young people increasingly dismissive of this "kinship network" or "family relationship", this network based on kinship and blood relationship began to collapse. And the "foundation" that everyone strives to maintain naturally does not exist. Therefore, these young people are also called "rootless generation".
To put it simply, these young people do not intend to rely on the so-called affection at all, let alone invest time, energy and emotion to maintain the so-called affection. In the future, with the departure of their parents, they will even break with most of their relatives without hesitation and will never contact again.
Are these young people crazy? Don't they know what it means to rely on their families at a critical moment? Don't they understand that blood relationship is more important than anything else?
With the IQ of young people now, how can you not know? But why don't they want to have too much contact with their relatives? Even "visiting relatives" looks reluctant? Today, let's talk about it together. There are as many as 12 reasons why young people called "rootless generation" don't want to "visit relatives". In this regard, many parents said it was hard to accept and sad, but there was really no way to change it.
The first reason: young people are not interested in their parents' insincere maintenance of their loved ones.
Many relatives don't communicate much on weekdays, or even talk on the phone. But during the Chinese New Year, in order to maintain the so-called pro-Qing relationship, relatives have to organize family gatherings, smiling and taking part in accidental amusement. You greet me, I greet you, there is nothing to talk about. In short, it is a family gathering. This family relationship is too fake.
Everyone is an adult, who doesn't know that such a party has no affection at all, and everything is just to maintain the so-called face. Young children are really not interested in working with their parents and relatives. Some parents, in particular, have just sneered at their relatives behind their backs, but they have to compliment each other in person. Ironically, it's really disgusting.
Many young people don't live as secular and fake as their parents. For them, this blood relationship is not worth mentioning, and naturally they don't want to "go to relatives."
The second reason: "visiting relatives" is more like a stage for parents' generation than for children.
Many parents like to "visit relatives", especially after meeting, everyone is sincere and chatting speculatively, as if there are endless topics. However, it was the social stage of parents' generation, not the stage of young people.
On the occasion of "visiting relatives", parents' generation is the protagonist and young people are the supporting roles. Therefore, they are not interested in such a "stage". As for peers, everyone is a supporting role, especially when values and hobbies are not speculative, there is nothing to talk about. Can young people be interested in such "visiting relatives"?
The third reason: many relatives are bored and attract young people's disgust.
Many young people don't want to "visit relatives" because many relatives don't have self-knowledge and don't know that many of their behaviors are annoying.
Many relatives don't communicate much on weekdays, but they manage a lot. As soon as we met, I asked if you had a date and how was your work? If they happen to have no partner, or their jobs are ordinary, they will start to rely on the old to sell their old age and give young people a sense of existence in an experienced tone. Such relatives are also "heavy taste".
Even some relatives, the realm is not high, but their horizons are quite high. When you talk about freelancing from the media, no matter how much money you earn, they just stubbornly think that you have nothing to do and no formal iron rice bowl. This is speculation.
It is useless for you to reason with them. They don't care, and they don't understand at all. It is to come out from the eyes of people who have experienced it and teach you how to develop and how to find a job. I have to say that I am also "drunk" in the face of such relatives.
Why do young people like to "visit relatives" when they pretend to be familiar with you and superior? Not the same person at all. Twisted melons are not sweet, and we can't get together.
The fourth reason: young people are pragmatic. They like to get in touch with people they recognize, but they don't like to participate in ineffective social activities, and they don't like to get in touch with people with empty minds, no thoughts and no clear reality.
We have to admit that at family gatherings held by many relatives, the topics they talk about are often boring or even repetitive. Such a party is ineffective socialization in the eyes of young people. It's a waste of time to attend such a party, so I naturally don't want to attend.
The fifth reason: life is stressful, leaving less and less complete time for themselves, so many young people are unwilling to waste relatively complete time on "visiting relatives".
I believe everyone knows how stressful life is in today's society. Although there is some fragmentation time on weekdays, these fragmentation times are not enough for rest, self-study and charging, or relaxation. Catch up with holidays, it is rare to have a complete time of your own, but you have to waste it on "visiting relatives" and feel like a snake. Can young people be happy inside?
The sixth reason: Some relatives love to compare with others, and their behavior is aggressive.
In reality, some relatives will intentionally or unintentionally mention how high their income is, or what luxury goods they have bought, where to travel, and highlight their petty bourgeoisie life in their words. Is it necessary for everyone to know?
What about other relatives? Petty bourgeoisie can't keep up with the competition, so I changed my strategy to compare with you. What is even more ridiculous is that when you know that you are not married and have no children, the other party keeps showing you how many cram schools, interest classes and even how well your children did in exams.
Isn't this sick? Need to take medicine
Many young people are unwilling to deal with these "patients" and feel that dealing with them will soon become abnormal. I want to ask, are young people still willing to "walk relatives" with such relatives?
The seventh reason is that rich relatives are too extravagant and enthusiastic for some young people to play.
Many times, some relatives with better conditions, their children will invite you to their home, or ask you out to play together. But the problem is that going out to play together, especially traveling together, costs thousands of dollars at a time, and many young people with heavy life pressure can't afford it and are reluctant to spend it.
It's not because of inferiority that I don't want to participate, but because I really can't afford to participate. Even if the other party treats you, you can't always take advantage of the other party. It costs a lot of money to find an opportunity to pay it back. For some young people, this money may be enough to pay their rent for a month or two. So in order to avoid embarrassment, I really don't want to get too close to those relatives who can spend money. Young people really can't afford to play.
The eighth reason is that there is sometimes a chain of contempt between relatives, which parents can't detect, but young people can obviously feel.
Many times, parents can't feel the faint chain of contempt between their loved ones. The reason is simple. They are used to it and slow to respond. However, some young people can clearly feel the faint chain of contempt between their relatives. So they don't like to attend relatives' parties, and they don't like being vaguely discriminated against by relatives.
The ninth reason: it's really annoying to have Xiong Haizi as a relative.
A string of relatives are most afraid of meeting "Xiong Haizi". He just sat on the sofa, trying to relax himself as a king. As a result, Xiong Haizi came to you and said, "Brother, let me play, and I can play." Can you say it's not good? You will regret it if you give Xiong Haizi your mobile phone.
Why?
Xiong Haizi will poke the mobile phone screen with a bitter, scratching and stabbing attitude. It hurts to see this scene. What's more, some Xiong Haizi vented his emotions on your mobile phone and fell directly to the ground when he clearly knew that his skills were not good.
You tried to fan him to death.
Another embarrassing situation is that relatives come to your house with Xiong Haizi. And your pet is targeted by Xiong Haizi. Such as hamsters, bees, court guards, small turtles, ornamental fish and so on. They may all have been killed by Xiong Haizi. If you have had such an experience, are you still willing to "visit relatives"?
Many times, these small things are not called things in the eyes of parents, but in the eyes of young people, this "problem" is a knot, and nothing can be bypassed. Therefore, if relatives have "Xiong Haizi", parents should not blame their children for not wanting to "visit relatives" because it is extremely forbearing not to turn against such relatives.
The tenth reason: relatives who don't have enough advantages should cut off contact.
As the saying goes, people who are not poor often win everyone's respect. But some poor relatives like to rack their brains to take advantage of your family. In their view, if your family has money, you should help them, and you should play the role of "robbing the rich to help the poor". Faced with such poor relatives, parents always take care of face and are often taken advantage of.
But in the eyes of young people, it is better to simply cut off contact with such greedy relatives. Therefore, letting them "visit relatives" is bound to be 100 thousand unwilling. They don't dislike the poverty of relatives, but they don't like their ugliness.
The eleventh reason: times have changed, and young people have more choices and no longer need to rely on the so-called kinship network.
The reason why parents care about blood relationship is because they have not only emotional basis, but also interest basis. In the era when parents live, the greater the kinship and family network, the more choices they have. But in today's era, as long as young people are willing to struggle and work hard, they have countless choices and do not need to rely on relatives at all.
To put it more bluntly, the value of the family network built by ordinary people has been seriously weakened. Therefore, young people think that such blood relationship has no value and necessity to maintain.
The twelfth reason: relatives need to get along enough, but modern people have no time to get along. Relatives who don't have enough experience in getting along with each other lack emotional trust and dependence.
Young people often see more thoroughly than their parents. In the final analysis, it is the beating of society that makes them have a more pragmatic understanding of some illusory family relationships in reality.
Affection is very important, but the premise is that we need to have enough time to get along and deepen this bond of affection. But the problem is that relatives have been together for so long, and naturally there is no chance to deepen emotional ties. For this kind of affection that lacks emotional depth, young people often say that it is difficult to give trust and dependence.
Without trusted and distrusted relatives and no common memories, will young people be willing to maintain it?
In short, young people don't want to "visit relatives" not because they are withdrawn, but because they have many reasons that their parents can't understand. And some reasons, even if told to parents, parents may not understand. For a long time, I had to "visit relatives" for the sake of my parents' face, and finally I became more and more disgusted and resistant to "visiting relatives".
So, what is the reason why you, or your children, are unwilling to "visit relatives"? Please leave us a message.