Roosevelt said: "The most important factor in the formula of success is getting along with people." A philosopher once said, "People without communication skills are like ships on land, and they will never reach the ocean of life". Interpersonal relationship is essential in our life, so how to master interpersonal skills?
That is: sincerity, trust, restraint and enthusiasm.
(Sincerity) A sincere heart can make the two parties in communication have mutual affinity and treat each other with sincerity. A sincere person can make the friendship between the two parties last forever.
(Trust) Trust is to believe in the sincerity of others and understand their motives and words and deeds from a positive perspective, rather than to doubt and guard against them.
Restraint means getting along with others, and friction and conflict will inevitably occur. Restraint often has the effect of "turning hostilities into friendship". But restraint is not unconditional, it should be rational, beneficial and restrained.
Enthusiasm can give people warmth, promote mutual understanding and melt cold hearts.
To this end, please-
Take the initiative to talk to people.
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Show sincerity and enthusiasm
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Smile often.
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Call out other people's names
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Show a friendly and helpful attitude
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Show affection and interest for others.
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Be considerate of others' feelings
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Pay attention to serving others.
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Respect the opinions of others.
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Compliment others generously! First, say it out loud.
In particular, speak frankly about your inner feelings, feelings, pains, thoughts and expectations, but never criticize, accuse, complain or attack. Second, don't criticize, blame, complain, attack or preach.
Criticism, accusations, complaints and attacks are all executioners of communication, which will only make things worse. Third, mutual respect.
Only by giving respect to each other can we communicate. If the other person doesn't respect you, you should also demand the respect of the other person appropriately, otherwise it will be difficult to communicate. Fourth, never speak ill.
Bad words hurt people, as the saying goes, "disaster comes from the mouth." 5. Don't say things you shouldn't say.
When you say something you shouldn't, it often costs a lot of money to make up for it. As the saying goes, "A promise is a promise, a promise is a promise", "Illness comes from the mouth, and disaster comes from the mouth", which may even cause irreparable lifelong regret! Therefore, communication cannot be irresponsible and outspoken; But if you don't talk at all, sometimes things will get worse. Sixth, don't communicate in emotions, especially you can't make decisions.
Emotional communication is often not good, both unreasonable and ignorant; Especially emotionally, it is easy to be impulsive and irrational. For example, quarreling couples, parents and children turn against each other, and long-term opposing bosses and subordinates, especially those who cannot make emotional and impulsive "decisions", easily make things irreversible and regrettable! Seven, rational communication, irrational communication.
Irrationality is just a dispute, and there will be no result, let alone a good result. So this kind of communication is useless. Eight, consciousness
It's not just communication that requires awareness, but everything. What is the best way to say something wrong and do something wrong if you don't want to cause irreparable harm? "I was wrong" is a kind of consciousness. Admit that I was wrong.
bear
Admitting that you are wrong is the disinfectant of communication, which can thaw, improve and transform communication problems. Just one sentence: I was wrong! How many people's new hatred and old hatred have been written off, and how many years have passed, opening the knot, making people suddenly enlightened and laying down their weapons.
Re-face yourself and start rethinking life, even who am I? In this vast cosmic torrent, people are most concerned about "I". If someone disrespects me, oppresses me, bullies me or insults me, even close people.
Father and son may turn against each other and be a little eccentric. Running away from home is nothing, and examples of death are common to you! Ten, say sorry
Saying I'm sorry doesn't mean that I really made a big mistake or did something out of line, but it is a softener, which finally gives things a "turning point" and even creates a "paradise"; In fact, sometimes you are really wrong, and it is a big mistake not to admit your mistake. Eleven, let the miracle happen
Since you are willing to apologize to each other, you are creating a paradise and miracle for yourself and your family; Make the impossible possible. Twelve. love
Everything is love, "Love is the greatest therapist". Thirteen, waiting for a connecting flight
If there is no turning point, wait; Anxiety will only help you; Of course, don't think that if you don't wait for anything, you will fall from the world, or you will have to work hard on your own, but your efforts may not have results, or you will be desperate; But if you don't work hard, you will have nothing. Fourteen, patience
Patience is the only necessary condition for waiting. Where there is a will, there is a way. Fifteen, wisdom
Wisdom makes people not persistent and is a blessing to the soul. Soul prescription:
seek
At an auspicious moment, no matter what happens, we should "speak out", "express our opinions" and "communicate with him". This week, you will have unexpected gains. Innocent, not necessarily ignorant, not necessarily pretending.
Stupid, but the degree of clarity between people. When we are older and less tempered, we gradually understand that some things can be understood for a lifetime, but some things take a generation to understand. Perhaps, the world is too big and people are too big.
Too much, too confused, too late to see, too late to think, too late to understand. In the colorful era of interpersonal packaging, we need more innocence and transparency.
In the process of managing people, we need to use communication skills to resolve different opinions and build consensus. When a consensus is reached,
After that, the charm of the career will naturally show good communication skills and the cultivation of interpersonal relationships, which are not all innate. In Beijing
In the career of "people", we definitely have the opportunity to learn communication skills, so we should seize any opportunity to learn. The following are available
Several codes of conduct for effective communication:
First of all, a confident attitude
Generally speaking, people who are quite successful in business don't go with the flow or just follow Nuo Nuo. They have their own ideas and styles, but they are very
It is extremely rare to yell, abuse or even argue with others. They know that they are very clear, they have confidence in themselves, and he
What children have in common is self-confidence and a happy life. Confident people are often the best communicators.
Second, be considerate of other people's behavior.
This includes "understanding each other" and "expressing yourself". The so-called understanding means putting yourself in others' shoes.
Understand each other's feelings and needs. When we want to show consideration and care for others in the process of running the cause of "people", only I am that person.
The children put themselves in each other's shoes. Because of our understanding and respect, the other party is relatively considerate of your position and goodwill, so
Make a positive and appropriate response.
Third, prompt the other party appropriately.
If the reason of contradiction and misunderstanding comes from the forgetfulness of the other party, our tips can make the other party keep its promise; On the contrary, if
It is the other party's intention to break his word. The hint means that we have not forgotten things and hope that the other party will keep its promise.
Fourth, tell each other directly and effectively.
When sharing his successful negotiation experience, a well-known negotiator said, "I often use it in various international negotiation occasions.
I think' (expressing my feelings) and' I hope' (expressing my requirements or expectations) are the beginning, and the result is often extremely exciting.
In order to satisfy. "In fact, this kind of behavior is to tell each other what we want and how we feel, if we can tell them directly and effectively.
The person you want to express will effectively help us build a good interpersonal network. But remember "three don't talk": the timing is wrong.
When not talking; The atmosphere is not suitable for talking; Don't talk about inappropriate objects.
Five, make good use of questions and listening.
The act of asking and listening is used to control yourself so that you don't infringe others, so as to safeguard your rights. Especially on the other side.
When the behavior is shrinking, silent or embarrassed, you can ask the other person's real thoughts and understand the other person's position.
And the needs, wishes, opinions and feelings of the other party, and induce the other party to express their opinions by actively listening, and then
Have a good impression on yourself. An excellent communicator is absolutely good at asking questions and actively listening to other people's opinions and feelings.
It is true that a person's success depends on professional knowledge 20%, interpersonal relationship 40% and observation help 40%.
In order to enhance our personal competitiveness and succeed, we must constantly use effective communication methods and skills, which are effective at all times.
Contact and communicate with "people" Only in this way can you succeed in your career.
Interpersonal communication skills
Hunan Huaihua No.4 People's Hospital Mental Health Center
Psychological counselor Yang Sijiao
First, the principle of interpersonal relationship
1, the principle of reciprocity: the basis of interpersonal relationship is mutual concern and support. No one will accept others for no reason. Like is a prerequisite, and reciprocity is a prerequisite. We like those who also like us. Intimacy and alienation in interpersonal communication, likes and dislikes are mutual.
2. The principle of exchangeability; Interpersonal communication is a social exchange process. The principle of exchange is that individuals expect interpersonal communication to be valuable to them, that is, the gains in the process of communication outweigh the losses, at least equal to the losses. Interpersonal communication is the result of choices made by both parties according to their own values.
3、
Self-value protection principle: self-value is an individual's consciousness and evaluation of his own value; Self-value protection is a kind of psychological activity with self-reliance tendency, and its purpose is to prevent self-value from being denied and belittled. Due to self-pricing
Value is established through the evaluation of others, and individuals are extremely sensitive to other people's evaluation. For others who affirm their self-worth, individuals recognize and accept, and give affirmation and support in return; Other people who deny self-worth are alienated;
At this time, the individual's self-worth protection motivation may be activated.
Second, the basic principles of establishing a good relationship in interpersonal communication;
(1) Respect each other:
Everyone needs respect from others. If in interpersonal communication, the other party thinks that you don't respect him, communication will inevitably be blocked; If the other person thinks you want to reform him, he will probably refuse your help because of pressure. Therefore, in interpersonal communication, respecting each other is the first condition to establish a good relationship.
Six elements of "respect"
1. Respect means accepting a person completely. That is to say, treat each other as human rights people, valuable people, people with feelings and independent people. This is the basis for establishing mutual respect and equality between people. In other words, if you respect a person, you can't despise or discriminate against him because he has bad hobbies or stains.
2. Respect means equality. A person's identity can be divided into high and low, but his personality and dignity are equal.
3. Respect means treating people with courtesy.
4. Respect means mutual trust.
5. Respect means protecting privacy.
6. Respect should be based on sincerity.
(2) Enthusiasm makes the other person feel warm.
Passion expression: language-politeness and kindness.
Body language-sweet smile, charitable eyes, concentration.
Enthusiasm should be measured: too much will be unacceptable.
(3) Sincerity: refers to the appearance of "true self" in interpersonal communication. No one wants to associate with "hypocritical" people.
Be sincere:
1, sincerity does not mean telling the truth. The principle is not to hurt each other's self-esteem and personality. Say good words: affirm the positive first, then deny the negative, speak sincerely, and avoid labeling or over-generalization.
2. Sincerity is not self-venting. In interpersonal communication, being able to tell your inner truth is one of the ways to make the other person feel sincere. But avoid venting your negative emotions in front of each other.
3, be sincere and seek truth from facts: don't hide yourself, don't pretend to understand.
4. Sincerity should be moderate: take "no hypocrisy" as the principle.
Sincerity is the natural expression of inner feelings, which is based on optimism, basic trust, goodwill and love for each other, as well as acceptance, self-confidence and humility.
(4) Be reasonable: put yourself in the other person's shoes and feel the other person's inner world; At the same time, consider and answer each other's questions with reason.
The key point is to get out of your own frame of reference, enter the other's frame of reference, put yourself in the other's position and situation, and try to feel his joys and sorrows.
How to talk to people? What are the communication skills? 1. Know who you want to communicate with (things, people's hobbies, emotions, etc.).
Second, you should prepare what you want to communicate with others. Don't let others ask you if you don't know.
Third, you should know how to listen. Don't argue endlessly about differences. If you have opinions or differences, you should use extension. Don't let you impose your opinions on others.
Fourth, know how to let people say' yes' for the first time, so that others will be less wary of you.
5. Don't convince people by reasoning, but by reasoning.
Sixth, communicate with your heart
There are no uniform rules for communication books, communication skills, eloquence training, how to communicate with others, and how to communicate with others. After all, everyone's personality is different.
But on the whole, being honest with others is the most effective way to communicate with others.
How to better communicate with people? Have your own ideas and opinions, but not paranoid, learn more about other people's ways of thinking and expression, try to treat and deal with problems from both sides in communication, find common ground, use polite and positive words more, put yourself in the shoes and pay attention to details, so as to communicate with people better.
Chongqing communication skills training, how to communicate effectively with people? Communication should know how to listen and ask questions. First of all, we must establish a sense of closeness. Communication should start with understanding people and be shared by Zhiyide Company.
How can I communicate with people better is an indispensable and important resource in my life. You can get different things from different people. Wealth, knowledge, experience, happiness, sadness and so on.
In business, interpersonal relationship is very important. How does a businessman get the information he needs for his job? The most effective method we know is:
1, often reading newspapers; 2. Establish a good relationship with people; 3. Develop the habit of reading.
In other words, the most important information source for businessmen is "people". For them, "human information" is undoubtedly much more important than "type information". First-class management talents attach great importance to this "human wisdom". Taiichiro Kameyama, president of Sanyo Electric in Japan, is an example. He was praised as an "intelligence man" by his peers and had a special experience in collecting information. He said: "I advocate collecting from people. In this way, the data can be used at any time after filing, and the other party will reply at any time, just like putting live fish back in the fish tank. Put the information on people and update it at any time.
It is not difficult to see the importance of interpersonal relationship from the above examples. In the direct selling industry, interpersonal relationship is more important, and your marketing network is determined by your interpersonal network. And in the process of communication, can you communicate with others How to communicate with people is the key.
Only by fully understanding your status and value can you be in an invincible position in communication. Before preaching to others, you should know what you really want to do. Grasp your life goals and have a self-awareness of yourself. The last thing people know is themselves. It is difficult for us to master ourselves. We can only compare ourselves with the people around us, or gradually see ourselves in the eyes of others from the interaction between people.
Another way to find yourself and recognize yourself is to get rid of your identity. What can you do if the company suddenly goes bankrupt, if you remove your husband or wife's identity, and if you are suddenly downgraded? You might as well try to answer this possible "lost situation", which can help you understand "what are you" and "what can you do", because you have lost the beginning of formally testing your viability. In this way, you can see your true self more essentially.
The ultimate goal of this self-awareness is to finally understand where to put yourself when communicating with people in direct selling. In other words, in interpersonal communication, you should know two aspects of role application: one is role exchange, the other is role creation. Role exchange: Some people don't know how to grasp the principle of role exchange, so they are often used to looking at themselves and others' behavior from their own roles. American President Roosevelt scared off a sika deer while hunting, and was severely scolded by an old hunter, who was just a lumberjack. Roosevelt bowed his head honestly, because he knew that his current identity was only a new hunter, just a newcomer, not the president. And when we communicate with people, we should also understand our role-we are just salespeople, not other very important people. Therefore, when communicating with people, especially when selling, we must put down our airs and put down our useless self-esteem.
In fact, from another perspective, as a salesman, it is to serve customers, and we should always remember this when communicating with customers, which can also be said to be service consciousness. We get returns from the needs of our customers. As long as we can satisfy our customers, we will do our duty. Putting down self-esteem is a kind of observance of one's professional ethics, but it is respectable.
For many people who are afraid of rejection, I suggest them read the following story carefully:
New Noroya principle, that is, safety quantity and average principle. A child wants to start his own business. He asked his father if he could start his own business. His father told the children that they could. So, the children decided to provide paint service for their neighbors, but the first three companies refused the children's service. The child went home in frustration and told his father. But his father told the child happily, "You have started to make money!" " "
Father said, "When nine people say no to you, one person will always say yes to you." If your service fee is $65,438+00, then when the first person says no to you, you earn a dollar. "Maybe sometimes, until 15 or 16, only three people say yes. The key is how many people you tell about your service, not how many paintings you draw. Don't be afraid of rejection. No matter what others say, as long as you tell others about your service, you have already made money.
The late william james, a famous psychology professor at Harvard University, once said: "A person's mood can certainly affect a person's behavior. However, behavior can also be used to regulate a person's mood. Therefore, if a troubled person wants to be happy, the best way is to try to show a happy attitude in conversation and action. Then, this attitude will naturally affect your mood and make you really happy. " Emotions are often influenced by actions. You can imagine how bad it is to communicate with people when we are in a bad mood. We will be impetuous and confused. Remember this sentence, "Don't cry because you are sad, but cry because you cry." When you are in a bad mood, you might as well take a deep breath before entering the reception room or meeting customers, or gently hum a few songs to yourself, and your mood will be much better.
There are several points to pay attention to when dealing with people:
You should make full preparations before inviting others. In this way, you can answer your questions as much as possible and make others believe you. And have a certain understanding of the objects you want to develop, understand what the other party needs, the so-called "know yourself and know yourself", and make development plans for specific objects.
Secondly, when interacting with people, clean clothes are a silent introduction book. As the saying goes, "clothes make up the man, and gold makes the Buddha." A person's preferences, habits and moods are clearly written on clothes. Smiling is also important. People usually feel uncomfortable when they meet for the first time. Even cats and dogs in the animal kingdom. If two cats are unfamiliar, they will be wary when they meet for the first time. When people meet for the first time, only sincere friendship and smile can be used to eliminate this anxiety. Smile is a symbol of goodwill and a lubricant between people. His meaning includes "I feel very honored to meet you." Or "nice talking to you", so smiling is welcome.
Thirdly, we should choose a good place when communicating and persuading. A comfortable and quiet place is suitable for one-on-one conversation between two people; If you choose a cold and serious place, it will only make two people more uncomfortable and nervous. When communicating, especially when persuading others, if you choose a spacious and comfortable place, it will make the other party feel very comfortable, so it is easy to accept our request. Especially when the status, age and strength of the persuader are in the upper position, it is more necessary to choose a comfortable place to persuade. It is best to talk face to face in the other person's "site", such as the other person's office or home. When anyone is in his own home or office, he is always in a happy and comfortable mood, and it is also easier to relax his defensive guard that he does not want to be persuaded. Some people will have an "empty phobia" about empty places, such as the lobby of a hotel, so it's best to be in the corner in these places, otherwise they will feel insecure and more difficult to convince.
Fourth, 90% of the conversation should be small talk, which makes people feel that you care about them and it is easier to close the distance. A general manager I know often chats with employees, asking about the situation at home and asking them about the recent events. Give them a word or two of advice on personal or business matters. It's always easier to accept.
If you really don't know how to speak, you can remember the following words:
"I have good news for you!"
"Do you want to be a relaxed, profitable and decent person?"
"I have used several products and I feel good. I recommend you to try them. "
"Give you a piece of advice to keep healthy."
"Do you want to make more friends?"
"Introduce you to some successful people!"
Try to stay mentally excited when you speak, so as to infect each other.
You should be very patient when selling to others. You know, it is not easy to convince others, especially those with your ability and level, and it is difficult for them to accept you. Some impatient people decided at the beginning: "Be sure to convince each other!" The more I think about it, the more anxious I am. Once impetuous or rushing in. The writing also lacks artistry, which leads to the failure of persuasion. It is understandable to feel anxious when persuading others. In this case, we should learn to observe and seize the opportunity and cultivate a little patience.
The fog in Hokkaido, Japan is quite famous. People are in it, and they don't feel anything at first. When they felt foggy, their clothes were completely soaked. The worst thing about this fog is that people will unconsciously get wet by clothes. If someone throws a whole bucket of water at someone, the person who is thrown must first be conscious and have strong resistance. The fog didn't make people feel anything at first, but it really soaked the clothes.
An excellent shop assistant once said: "The time for asking customers should be shortened as much as possible, but the number of visits should be increased, and the same topic should be repeated every time, which means visiting customers frequently, but the time for persuasion should be shortened as much as possible." This persuasion technique applies both inside and outside the company. "
Finally, the most important thing to communicate with people is sincerity. Only when people think you are thinking of them will they accept your point of view well. "Sincerity is inside, but outside" When we can communicate with others sincerely, it is easier for us to get real rewards. When doing direct selling, your sales targets are mostly your friends and acquaintances. As long as you communicate sincerely with others, no matter whether the business can be done or not, at least you have one more friend. The key to direct selling is to rely on friends, so even if you sell it to him for the first time and he doesn't accept it, you can make this friend and sell it to him later. Communicate with others, whether the promotion is successful or not. As a direct seller, the first thing to do is to make friends with customers.
How to improve communication skills: First, read more relevant books to accumulate knowledge, explore skills and enrich yourself; Second, communicate with friends, family and other familiar people to improve their language skills; Third, be good at observation and learn from others' communication.
How to communicate with customers 1 to understand the subject, purpose and negotiators of the negotiation.
2. With an empty cup mentality, listen to each other's words, actions and eyes to understand each other's real thoughts and main objections.
3, with neutral outsider thinking, the customer's motivation and position, before and after, things and people are separated.
4. Think about all feasible solutions to objections and reach mutually acceptable terms with the other party.
5. Negotiate from the level of values and beliefs, so as to solve the negotiation objections in essence and reach an agreement.
6. The starting point and goal of all negotiations are win-win (the company wins, the customer wins, and you win).
How to communicate with people? Communication is not just talking a lot. Communication has two results, one is effective communication; One is ineffective communication. It's a waste of breath to talk a lot and make a mess of things! The communication effect is especially important for your position as a salesman.
You should strengthen your exercise in several aspects:
1, increase your knowledge, because the knowledge is too shallow, so when others talk about a topic, they can't give an answer, which will lead them to quit. Therefore, we should read more knowledge about news, newspapers, sports, tea art, tobacco and alcohol culture, enterprise management and so on.
2, more contact with strangers or friends and colleagues who can't speak, let yourself try to speak, dare to speak, don't be afraid of several failures or embarrassment, because this is normal, everyone has come from this step. Do you think all leaders are born to talk as soon as they come to power? No, it's all practiced.
3. When you first try to communicate with strangers, you can make some preparations before communicating, such as understanding each other's personality, what they like and care about, what I can do to help them and see if they can give some good advice on business or management. With these softwares, you can have more confidence in your communication. Over time, you will naturally come to by going up one flight of stairs.
In communication, we should also pay attention to several aspects:
1, choose the right time, everyone is in a good mood, knowing that the other party is in a bad mood to push the product or make a payment, that is asking for trouble. Or don't disturb the other party when dealing with things;
2. Learn to observe words and observe emotions. In the process of communication, I found that when talking about this issue, the other party had a bad performance or an irritable mood, so I must stop at once and don't talk about this issue myself.
3. Choose a suitable venue. The venue is also an important factor, depending on the result of communication. Try to avoid situations that are not conducive to communication. For example, there is no talk about going to nightclubs in the office; When you are in a bar, don't stare at a single thing;
4. Take different ways for people with different preferences. There are many kinds of people who like it: some like to solve problems in two sentences, some like to talk about family affairs, some like to talk about news events, some like sports and so on. Every time you meet a new customer, you must pay attention to understand the preferences of the other party in order to make full preparations for the next visit.
I wrote a lot, hoping to bring you help.