In fact, Chi Li is not only a successful writer, but also a successful mother.
Under the careful care and cultivation of Chi Li, her daughter Lv Yichi's performance is also remarkable:
She didn't go to cram school, but she stood out from the fierce junior high school entrance examination and was admitted to the best middle school in Wuhan: Wuhan Foreign Language School.
In junior high school, she still didn't attend an excellent class, but she passed the fierce senior high school entrance examination and was admitted to Wuhan Foreign Languages High School.
In the first year of high school, Lu Yichi successfully applied to attend Harmony Middle School, a key middle school in Britain, without an intermediary.
When she graduated from high school, she was admitted to the University of London, the University of Warwick and the University of Bath. All the interviews were faced by her alone when she just turned 18.
Why is Chi Li's daughter so excellent?
After reading Li by Chi Li, I understand the truth.
In my opinion, the most fundamental thing for Chi Li to raise her daughter is: respect!
How does Chi Li respect her children?
First of all, she respects the child's personality weakness.
In Chi Li's view, Yi Chi was not particularly smart and had no talent when she was a child. On the contrary, she is timid, timid and forbearing, especially afraid of the strength and arrogance of others.
In this regard, Chi Li did not blame and complain about iron not to produce. She chose to spoil her children. This kind of doting is not to give money and snacks, but to choose to maintain and trust children at all times and create more happy and relaxed atmosphere for children as much as possible.
Chi Li wrote in the article: "As long as anyone gives my child a bad look and suppresses her, I will try my best to rule it out, even if it offends or threatens others." Chi Li also said: "I must dote on the weakness of children, and I must strengthen the weakness of children with doting." Let her gradually adapt to this overbearing society and the predatory environment in a competitive society. Maybe some parts of her personality are hard to change, but I can try to make her psychological quality stronger and stronger, gradually become less timid, afraid and uncomfortable, and slowly walk towards the crowd-no matter how sarcastically they attack and plunder you. When you grow up in the future, the world will find many unhappy people for you. "
With Chi Li's meticulous care and love, Yi Chi's personality weakness has been changed and made smooth progress in a favorable direction. She is no longer afraid of children, even those who are aggressive and predatory.
Second, respect children's socialization.
When Yichi was four or five years old, she asked kindergarten children to come home and cook for her mother. Although Chi Li was very busy writing, although their home was not big at that time, even bowls, chopsticks, tables and chairs were not enough, but she still agreed.
She discusses recipes with her children, then borrows tables, chairs and tableware from her neighbor's house, and then goes to the vegetable market to buy them. After that, she cleaned the dining table and chairs, and sterilized the tableware and kitchen utensils at high temperature. Finally, the first banquet in my daughter's life was successfully held.
After that, from elementary school to junior high school, from junior high school to senior high school and even university, students from Yichi often go home to eat rice cooked with Chili peppers, sleep at home, watch the World Cup collectively and even watch horror movies collectively at home.
In this regard, Chi Li's idea is this:
I must spoil my children. I must support children's social and social activities. My children must make more friends, blend in with the crowd, understand the crowd, and try to reduce their timidity until the fear is eliminated.
The effect in this respect is also obvious. Chi Li, who thinks she is withdrawn and not good at making friends with others, has raised a sunny and cheerful daughter with excellent popularity. In the crowd, my daughter is like a duck to water and has gained a wide range of opportunities to know people and see the world.
Third, respect children's playful nature.
Children love to play by nature. When Chi was a child, Chi Li often took her children outdoors and got close to nature. In Chi Li's view, a child's impressions and feelings about nature are fertile ground for the germination of wisdom seeds.
This kind of play has been running through a pool of childhood.
After graduating from primary school, when the students around her were busy attending various classes of culture and art, Chi Li was a little shaken, so she asked Yi Chi, "Do you like to learn some personal specialties?" Do you like to go to extracurricular training classes to continue your studies after school? "
One pool's answer is: "I don't like it. I just like to play. "
This answer strengthened Chi Li's confidence. She resolutely defended Yichi's happy life and let Yichi spend a period of elementary school life that was almost "crazy".
Of course, this does not mean that Chi Li has done nothing about her daughter's education. She insisted on telling stories to Yichi and accompanying her in person. Moreover, after Yichi offered to learn piano, she contacted the piano teacher for her and supported her to learn piano.
With the support of their mothers, the children have lived up to expectations. Every time they come home from the outside, after the break, Yichi will take the initiative to practice the piano. This has been insisted, and then they got the piano grade 9!
Chi Li's respect for children not only respects children's personality weakness, interpersonal communication and playful nature, but also supports children's every major and seemingly ignorant life choice.
At the beginning of junior high school, Yichi decided to apply for the best middle school in Wuhan: Wuhan Foreign Language School. In the face of her daughter who has never attended gifted classes or Olympic math classes, Chi Li didn't choose to throw cold water on her, considering the fierce competition, the difficulty of admission and the possibility of losing her studies in other schools after failure. She refused, reprimanded and stopped.
She said: "I can't refuse the children's good wishes. Look at a pool of sedate tepid appearance, I think she is very good. ..... If she would rather take risks to pursue her most desirable goal, as a mother, I can only fully support her and do everything possible to help her to stimulate her greatest potential at critical moments. "
So, under great pressure, mother and daughter began to fight for Xiaoshengchu.
While helping the children to ask the math teacher for help, she sent them to help them night after night.
Encourage children: "There are many necessities in life. At some point, in order to maintain his dignity and decency, one must overcome some things that he hates very much, such as mathematics at the moment. " When the child occasionally has no self-confidence, she comforts the child: "Even if it fails, it is still glorious! There is an idiom called' a blessing in disguise is a blessing in disguise'. If you fail to make a list, maybe other blessings will come later. Don't think too much later. My mother will be responsible for editing TV series. At least my mother is a writer. "
With such a wise, warm and powerful mother as a strong backing, it is difficult for children to succeed.
Sure enough, Yichi successfully passed the exam of Xiaoshengchu and was admitted to Wuhan's oldest key middle school: Wuhan Foreign Language School.
Later, Yichi successfully passed the senior high school entrance examination and was admitted to the high school of Wuhan Foreign Language School.
However, when I was in the first year of high school, Yichi sprouted the idea of studying abroad. A child of 15 years old, studying abroad alone and applying independently, is simply a rock-breaking idea!
Chi Li has all kinds of worries in her heart. She thinks that even if her children can't get ideal results in the national college entrance examination, she can use her own ability to plan a bright future for her children, such as being a child star or a writer, and she can pave the way for her daughter.
However, for these, my daughter is not interested. She insisted on going abroad to attend high school, and then she was admitted to the top universities in the world.
Therefore, Chi Li once again chose to support her daughter's choice.
She said, "I just can't leave my children alone. I just don't want to force my children. I don't want to see her look like a weak animal. ..... How can I refuse my child's request to study abroad? " She once again encouraged her children: "The beautiful things in the world belong to all mankind. Go for it yourself. "
So, she once again made suggestions for her daughter to apply for going abroad and asked for all kinds of information.
They bypassed the study agent and chose to submit their applications directly to the school. After getting in touch with the headmaster, Yichi successfully passed the entrance examination for British schools.
Then, she was admitted to a key middle school in Britain: Harmony Middle School!
Subsequent events are not difficult to imagine. Sixteen-year-old Yichi went to England to study alone, and she adapted well to her study and life there. When she graduated from high school, she successfully received admission notices from UCL University, Warwick University and Bath University. And she chose UCL, her ideal university college, London, the alma mater of Mahatma Gandhi, where there were 18 Nobel Prize winners in economics, all of whom had taught in the front line. It is an ideal choice for a person who wants to learn real knowledge and skills.
Psychologist Sydney wrote in her book When I Meet a Person: "Please give children the space to feel and experience all kinds of things freely, and don't limit their infinite possibilities with our narrow minds. If you teach your children all your knowledge about the world, how can your children be better than you? As long as it is not dangerous, let the children experience it themselves ... Children can have the breadth and depth of life and feel the meaning of life without being cut by their parents. "
This passage is essentially a kind of respect. When adults face children, they should put away their arrogance and face them with humility.
Speaking of which, I am very grateful to my mother.
When I was a sophomore, my mother, a civil servant, got a message that high school students could apply for the local party school. Once admitted to the party school, after graduation, you can safely and properly enter the government department and become a civil servant within the establishment. My mother came to the school to find me to live on campus, told me about it and wanted me to go to the party school.
However, at that time, I was full of lofty sentiments. Why should I go to college and stay in my hometown to repeat my parents' life?
I firmly refused my mother and said, "mom, I want to call again." I want to take an undergraduate course and work in a big city! " "
My mother listened to me, and she didn't persuade me earnestly. She agreed to my choice and went home by coach.
When I am graduating from college, I want to come to Beijing to find a job with a registered permanent residence in Beijing. My mother didn't throw cold water on me either. She immediately called my distant relative in Beijing to help me contact my residence in Beijing.
If my mother had imposed all kinds of restrictions and obstacles on me according to her own wishes and imagination of life, I probably wouldn't live in the second ring road in Beijing today and live in my favorite environment.
My neighbor Xiaoyue studied very well in junior high school, and was admitted to the local key high school in the senior high school entrance examination, but her parents asked her to attend the agricultural school technical secondary school on the grounds of her age. At that time, she basically finished secondary school and assigned a job. Her parents are civil servants, and they have designed her life route according to their own wishes: attending a technical secondary school, returning to their parents' work unit to continue to be civil servants after graduation, and then getting married and having children early, so that parents can rest assured when they are old.
After that, Xiaoyue really returned to her parents' work unit and became a civil servant. She really got married very early, but divorced soon after giving birth, and then intervened in other people's marriages, becoming a mistress who could not become a full member. That kind of pain can be felt without close contact.
However, in fact, Xiaoyue is a very good girl at school, and her articles are particularly good. When she was in middle school, she often published articles in our local newspaper. If she had gone to college and studied her favorite major, she would be completely different today.
So you see, every child has infinite possibilities. As parents, we should try not to let our limitations limit our children's pursuit of infinite possibilities. As a parent, the best attitude is actually two words. What Chi Li embodies in Li is: respect!