In the article, she complained about the trouble of being forced to attend the party, and finally asked, "How can I use up my reasons for perfection without hurting harmony and satisfying myself?"
Leave a message under the article: "Say no next time, something that doesn't suit you is a waste of time. Or write at a party, just pick what you don't like and write a short essay to practice writing. "
Walking at night, thinking about it, I feel as if I still have something to say to her.
Newcomers in the workplace, everyone has had various maladjustments. In this relational society, some parties are really unavoidable. There are some things you don't like anymore, and you have to do them. After all, not everything can be willful, and everything has a price.
In fact, there are things you don't like to do everywhere in your life. Children don't like being controlled, students don't like studying, housewives don't like doing housework, and employees don't like working. Even if you are in a high position, there are always people and things you don't like to deal with. ...
Everyone will encounter things that they don't want to do but have to do. So the world can hear a lot of complaints, too many sad tears and even some cruel revenge.
If life is not good, you can do whatever you want. Then only change yourself and practice yourself. My suggestion is:
I have always been a person with a good appetite, and my parents are good at cooking. I don't need to worry about this. I haven't studied hard since I was a child, so cooking has never been my strong suit.
After giving birth, you should live independently. Cooking became a big problem. I've always been afraid of greasy kitchens, but I have to do it. It's easier when children are young. Boil soup, steam soup or stew soup to make a living. When children grow up, they demand more and more, both nutritious and delicious, and the original kitchen level can no longer be satisfied. Cooking every day is a very troublesome thing for me. But for the sake of children's health, I have to do it myself.
I once read a book that a person can become an expert in this field after 10 thousand hours. But why do many people cook every day, but they haven't become chefs for decades, or are average cooks? The reason in the book is that there is no enthusiasm and no intention.
Come to think of it, that's who I am. I cook every day, but I complain every day, so that my cooking has not improved, and I am still very unhappy. The point is, cooking is something you have to do, and there is no other choice.
So I told myself that if I have to do it, there is nothing to complain about. The health of the children is the most important thing for me. For her sake, mom should be good at cooking
So, I began to buy recipes and collect all kinds of food books. Learn to cook with recipes and ask mom and dad how to do it. When you go out to taste delicious food, come back and figure out how to do it yourself.
Gradually, my cooking has been greatly improved. My own cooking is loved by children, family and friends. Arrange all the dinner dishes from the kitchen to the time when you can treat guests now. This originally annoying thing has become my hobby.
From learning to be good at cooking to loving cooking, I have read more than one hundred such books. At first, I often cut my hand and got burned by oil explosion. There are many embarrassments in burning black meat. I am familiar with "buying, selling and burning" by now. Through these studies, I also unconsciously understand a lot of truth.
Sometimes, although we are not professionals, it is very interesting to study a thing in a professional way.
Learning to cook also fascinates me with food culture. In the past two years, several sets of cooking methods and various food theories have been introduced. The development of taste is also because of the foreshadowing of words, so there will be many different beautiful feelings.
When traveling, because of these words about food. Experience more travel fun than before. Turn what you want to do into what you like. You may be able to develop more potential.
How to turn what must be done into liking?
First of all, be clear about your goals.
Anything with a purpose is better than efforts without a purpose. We are often the ones who are pushed away at work, and it is really good to make finishing the task the first priority. But think again, what do you want in this job? Clear needs will lead to correct behavior orientation, and then every decision you make will help you get one step closer to success.
What's your purpose in doing this job? Is this your ultimate goal? If you want to develop in this industry for a long time, it is a good learning opportunity to get together and accumulate contacts and communicate with senior colleagues. There are some things that you can't learn with money. Maybe it's other people's stories that make you understand the truth. If you think so, you may not be too disgusted with parties.
The second is to arrange the time reasonably.
Introduce a "priority management system" into "things you don't want to do but have to do"
We can sort out the things to do in a day through analysis. The key to arranging time reasonably is to sort out your real needs in the process of sorting out.
Of course, this "priority principle" cannot simply refer to the ideas in the book. Each of us is different. General standards can only be used as a reference for most people, and some are not suitable for your personality. My experience is to rank according to happiness. When finishing something makes you feel relaxed and happy, remember this feeling that may lead you to success. Give priority to actions in the next time series.
Finally, enjoy the process happily.
Don't think that your sense of relaxation and pleasure must come from what you like best.
More than once, I heard my friend tell me that I was abused by my coach during my fitness, and I had all kinds of "regrets" in my heart, but when the task was completed, the sense of accomplishment and the perfect effect of finally achieving my goal would make people feel that I was abused during my fitness.
The human brain is a strange thing, you can control it yourself. The same thing, different ideas will have different results. Although it is difficult at first, it is not so difficult to change your mind after conscious practice.
I saw an example of washing dishes in The Miracle of Mindfulness a while ago. Monks should be self-sufficient in practice, and there will be many chores. One disciple didn't like washing dishes, and the master told him that washing dishes was also a practice. If you have mindfulness when washing dishes, you can not only help yourself to improve, but also pray for all beings.
I don't usually like washing dishes. After a busy day, cooking dinner and facing a lot of greasy pots and pans, many people may collapse. Seeing my husband and children playing games and watching TV again, is it "fire" immediately?
But washing dishes is something I have to do. I used to put an iPad when washing dishes, and find a favorite TV series to watch and wash slowly. I will buy all kinds of dishes, which one is better. One day, I found a kind of kitchen paper that won't break the dishes, one at a time, and I threw it away when I used it, thus avoiding the trouble of greasy and dirty rags. I like it very much. You can also share it with friends, and the process is very pleasant.
I didn't know until I read the book that I also used the "miracle of mindfulness" unintentionally. In fact, life is full of Dojo, and you can practice it day after day. When you can turn what you have to do into what you like. Then your life is not far from success.
I wish this young lady find her own way to face her troubles as soon as possible. Happy every day!