How to make children love to eat
Eating is human nature. How can it be so hard to get a child to talk? 〗
More than a decade ago, there was a very famous advertisement: "Wahaha tastes delicious", which sold an oral liquid that was said to stimulate children's appetite. This product earned the first bucket of gold for a little-known small enterprise, and it was a big bucket of gold. Small enterprises quickly became large enterprises, and finally enterprises and their founders became famous all over the world. This proves a surprising phenomenon: nowadays, there are too many children who don't like eating.
Children's dislike of eating has become one of the biggest headaches for many parents at present. I have met many parents who are worried about this. They have really tried their best to feed their children.
I remember Yuanyuan was hospitalized with pneumonia when she was one year old and eight months old. A three-year-old boy in the same ward always couldn't eat well. It takes more than an hour to eat a small bowl of rice, and almost every bite takes some effort to finish. His mom, dad and grandma try their best to feed their children every day, coaxing them, using both hard and soft methods, promising to buy him something, praising him for being so good, and scolding him loudly for having to open his mouth. The whole process looks very painful.
In this process, in order to delay the persecution of parents, children think about tossing people. He let his mother feed him first, and let his father and grandmother go out and stand outside the door. Mom just fed two, let mom go out and call dad in to feed. In this way, a meal allows three adults to keep coming in and out. Every time he eats, he has to make conditions and constantly innovate ways to toss people. After tossing the family, I saw other children playing with a toy and asked to buy it for him immediately, otherwise I wouldn't eat or buy it the next day. His parents borrowed toys from other children, but every toy got tired in a short time and needed to be replaced, so his parents kept borrowing toys from other children. Some children don't want to give him toys, and the little boy even threatens his parents by not eating, so his parents have the cheek to do ideological work for other children. When a little boy gets the toys his parents want, he has to open his mouth to eat them. Just like the toys in his opponent are enemies, he will throw them on the ground when adults are not paying attention, so he always makes other children in the ward cry. After he finished all the toys in our ward, his parents began to look for toys for him in the children's ward next door, which made the children in other rooms cry.
I finally couldn't help telling my mother that it was normal for my child to have a bad appetite and not want to eat during his illness. Aren't adults the same? Forcing a child to eat may be bad for him, but it's best to let nature take its course. The mother doesn't like me to say so. She said that her son usually can't eat well. It is precisely because he doesn't eat well that he is in poor health and often falls ill. Now that I'm sick, I have to eat if I want to recover, otherwise I won't have resistance.
Her son looks really sallow and emaciated. I'm worried that if they go on like this, the children will not only lose their appetite, but also their moral quality will be damaged.
Eating is human nature. How can it be so hard to get a child to talk?
Many parents who are worried about their children's poor food don't think about a very simple question: Where did the children born in the 1950s and 1960s, including the 1970s, hear about the poor food? There were many children at home at that time. Which child needs to catch up for dinner? As long as there is food, which child is hungry? Since 1980s, especially after 1990s, social and economic life has been getting better and better. Why do children suffer from anorexia?
Mr. Benjamin Spark, a famous American pediatrician and psychologist, explained this question very clearly. He said, "Why are so many children unable to eat? Mainly because many parents like to force their children to eat "-this sentence explains things clearly. The main reason why children don't like eating is that parents care too much about their children's meals and are too demanding on this issue. The child's normal appetite has been well-intentioned destroyed by adults who have abundant material and time at present.
It is not that children born now have changed their nature, but that their parents have the energy to do things that go against their nature.
Mr. Spock believes that "every child has a subtle physiological mechanism to adjust the quantity and variety of food at birth to meet the needs of normal growth and development". In other words, children know best what they want to eat and how much to eat. If adults don't care, they can develop their own dietary functions normally; If parents often interfere with their children in this respect, things will get worse. "Children have an instinct of being forced to be arrogant. If you are not satisfied with what you eat, you will hate it the next time you see it ... It is useless to force children to eat, but it will further spoil their appetite and make them unable to recover for a long time. "
I met a fifth-grade boy in a primary school. His grandmother is a food research expert in an agricultural academy, and she is very famous in the industry. Later, I chatted with the boy's mother and heard that her family cooked eight dishes and one soup every night. The weekly recipes are carefully formulated by the children's grandmother, mainly considering the children's development, and the nanny's cooking is also good. We can imagine that children who grow up under such family conditions should be very healthy.
But strangely, this child is thinner and smaller than his classmates, like a small refugee who lacks food and drink; And eccentric personality, bad temper, academic performance is not very good. Her mother is worried to death when she talks about children.
Through chatting with her, I got to know some details of her family's life, and felt that it was really "success and failure for Xiao He".
Their elaborate recipes are very scientific and they take care of their children in life. There are rules about what to eat and how much to eat every day. Parents won't give up if their children can't eat the set standards. They must find ways to get their children to "finish the task". If they use their method to produce a machine or cultivate a corn, they will certainly succeed, but unfortunately, they are facing a child with independent consciousness.
When I tried to persuade the mother not to pursue "standardized operation" excessively on the child's eating problem and not to force the child at the dinner table, the mother immediately shook her head and said that the child was too smart. A few days, she said that he would be delicious if his parents didn't nag him about eating. As a result, he only put a dish in his chopsticks, chewed a dish in his mouth for a long time, and actually only ate a little after dinner. The parent suddenly said angrily, "We don't care about him now."
But from what she said next, I understand that the so-called "no matter" is just another management method. Give your child a big bowl for every meal, and finish it no matter how long it takes. Mother felt that she had done enough, and there was no conflict with her children because of eating as before. But what makes her angry is that children can sometimes eat this bowl of rice until they fall asleep.
I still want to persuade this parent to think about her children and experience the feeling that she doesn't want to eat. I suggest that she don't argue with her children like that every day and allow them to eat less. The parent immediately retorted that he was a boy, and what if he was not tall? The whole family is worried to death about this, and he won't eat much!
I can understand her anxiety, and I will never give up to let her know that children's emotions have a lot to do with eating. Only by solving the problem of children's anorexia first can we solve the problem of eating, and the root of anorexia is that parents care too much about their children's eating.
The mother is not interested in my words. She said in words that I don't know the nutrition of food, and I don't know what nutrition a child with a long body needs every day and how much it must reach. She feels that her mother-in-law knows better than anyone else in this respect and feels that she does not need guidance from others.
In front of such parents, there is nothing I can do.
One day, I observed the boy at school lunch. As long as there is very little in his lunch box, he hardly eats a bite. Throughout lunch time, he just pretended to pull a few mouthfuls of rice with a spoon, but none of them were delivered to his mouth. After the other students finished eating, he poured all the rice into the trash can and walked out of the canteen. His class teacher said that this child does this almost every day and never eats school meals. I told his parents before that the parents asked the teacher to stare at him for dinner and show him his strange face. The teacher has to take care of the whole class, so how can he stare at him for dinner every day, so he doesn't tell his parents about it now.
Looking at the child's thin body, erratic eyes and hostility from time to time, I have unspeakable regrets in my heart. What expectations do parents have for their children? They not only hope that he can get good grades, but also hope that he can go to a famous university in the future. I also hope that he is mentally healthy and can live a happy life; At the same time, I hope he is healthy, tall and looks outstanding. But just eating this one thing, if you do it wrong, I don't know how much harm it will do to all aspects. I'm afraid it's also rigid to guess the behavior of children's parents in other things from eating, and it lacks understanding of children. Well, in that case, many of their hopes will be dashed.
Just as I say "leave the children alone" to parents who interfere with their studies too much, I will often be disgusted by these parents. Just like I say "leave the children alone" to parents who care about eating, I will be looked down upon by others. "No matter" is really a very difficult thing for many parents. The reason is that they don't think their "management" is redundant, and they don't believe it is called "interference". They firmly believe that this is called care and guidance. Therefore, if someone tells him not to "take care of" his children, it is as hard to accept as letting him give up his responsibilities and rights as a parent.
But the fact is, just as the more "in charge" of learning, the worse it is. "The struggle between parents and children on the issue of eating is invincible."
How to make children have a normal appetite? This is actually very simple, just four words: let nature take its course.
Parents are not forced or anxious about their children's meals, and believe that their children know how much they eat. One day, children eat a lot and want to eat everything, but one day they don't want to eat anything, which is normal. From the beginning, you only paid attention to the nutritional collocation of food, and put what should be given to your child on the table, but what kind and how much he ate were his own business, so that the child would not be anorexic. You did it simply and successfully.
If the child has anorexia symptoms, Mr. Spark gives some good specific instructions in this regard. His instructions are summarized as follows:
First, parents change their attitudes. On the issue of children's eating, the attitude is dull. If you eat too much, you won't boast. Eating too little and not criticizing. This problem has always been peaceful and pleasant, so that children no longer feel pressure because of eating problems. It is possible for children to relax and have a normal appetite when they take up their rice bowls.
Second, if the child has anorexia symptoms, don't expect him to recover in half a month and twenty days. Parents should be patient. This patience does not come from your temporary calmness to suppress anxiety, but from your complete calmness after correct understanding. Children's recovery takes a long time, months or even years. In this process, if parents just change from being forced into hiding in the dark, and finally can't help nagging their children at some point, then everything will be in vain.
Third, don't cross the boundaries between various foods. You can't say that you eat more if you have nutrition, and eat less if you don't have nutrition. Whether there is nutrition or not depends on the adjustment of parents when cooking. Children should be allowed to choose the food on the table. You can't intimidate children with food they don't like. For example, don't say to children who like meat but don't like vegetables, "If you don't eat vegetables, you won't eat meat." This will only make him hate eating vegetables more. You might as well say on the other hand, "You must eat meat before eating food", which may stimulate his interest in food.
Fourth, let the children eat by themselves, not feed them. Children can feed themselves from about one and a half years old. Parents should not spend hard work on feeding their children, but only on cleaning up the "mess" left by their children. Regular feeding will affect children's appetite, but also affect the development of children's hand skills and physical skills. Some children aged three or four have developed bad habits. If parents don't feed them, they won't eat them. If you feed them, they will take a few bites. This situation should be changed immediately, and children should be asked to eat by themselves in the future. If he refuses, he will be hungry for a few meals, and certainly not hungry. His bad habits will be changed in a few days.
Fifth, on the issue of eating, don't talk about conditions with children. For example, some parents always like to say that if you eat well, I will buy you toys or take you out to play, which will have a negative impact on your child's eating and teach him to blackmail his parents with unreasonable demands.
In April 2008, I saw a parenting program on a local TV station in Hunan, which was about what to do if children don't eat.
The boy on TV is about five or six years old. Parents especially want their children to grow taller, but they just can't eat well, so grandparents and parents are very worried.
The TV station asked a university professor for advice, and the professor gave a "glass ball therapy". Is to prepare a jar and twenty glass balls, first put ten glass balls in the jar, and then add one when the child is finished eating, or subtract one if he doesn't eat. At that time, children were eager to buy a "Motorized Altman" CD, but they had to save enough 20 pounds in the bottle to buy it.
The TV station presents this to the audience in a good way-but it is a typical "bad idea" and a deformed temptation-which makes children regard eating as a utilitarian behavior and teaches them to bargain with their parents. The program does not explain the effect after the operation, but I can conclude that there is only a short-term "effect" at most, that is, it lasts until Altman is bought home. Then, of course, parents can reuse their children's new needs and invite them to dinner. But the child doesn't have that great perseverance. He won't persist and will soon get tired of playing this kind of "game" with his parents.
This method will not fundamentally change the child's anorexia problem, but will make the child hate eating more in the frustration that it is always difficult to save enough glass balls in the future.
Some parents don't force their children, but they often have bad language hints, which can also lead to anorexia or partial eclipse.
A friend of mine, when her child was very young, always complained to others anxiously about the poor food in front of the child. I have reminded her many times not to say these things, even if she wants to say them, she should carry the child behind her back and not let her hear them. But she never cared, or formed a habit, and always unconsciously nagged the children that they didn't like eating. Her child is now in his teens and has always had a bad appetite.
I also heard from another friend that her son liked mutton when he was a child, but her husband didn't like mutton. Later, I cooked mutton twice at home. When the children were about to eat, my father inadvertently reminded me that this was mutton. The implication is "Are you sure you will eat?" In this tone, the child heard his father's rejection of mutton, and felt that his father's tone was saying "that thing tastes terrible" and he would never eat another bite of mutton.
Therefore, when a child shows that he doesn't like to eat anything, you must never say anything, let alone teach him a lesson, and don't rush to find a substitute. Just pretend not to know what to let him eat and bring something; He even found an opportunity to hint in words that he liked it very much. For example, in front of a child who doesn't like milk, his son likes to eat everything and is not picky about food. He can drink a large glass of milk in one gulp.
When Yuanyuan was about five or six years old, I took her back to my grandmother's house. Influenced by my eldest brother's children and her Doudou sister, she stopped eating mutton. When I got home, I made mutton, but she didn't eat it. I ignored her and said nothing. I pretended not to pay attention to this problem and continued to cook mutton without care. I cooked mutton jiaozi twice. Before eating, she always asks what kind of meat it is. When I told her about mutton, she stopped eating it. I brought her something else to eat and said nothing.
I knew she liked noodles with meat sauce, and then I fried the meat sauce with mutton. I've never used mutton to eat noodles with soy sauce before, and Yuanyuan didn't ask me for meat this time.
The food is very good. After eating, I pretended to tell my husband that there was no pork at home today, so I used mutton to make meat sauce. It's delicious. Yuanyuan, listen to me.
Maybe I don't want to, but the rice is already in my stomach, so I have to accept it.
I also bought a semi-finished mutton kebab, which was baked in the microwave when I went home. Her father said that to eat such a fragrant kebab, you have to drink some wine; I also said
I haven't eaten mutton kebabs for a long time. It smells good. Yuan Yuan couldn't stand the temptation and finally picked up the kebab and ate it.
Finally, remind parents that children should eat snacks as little as possible. Children eat a small amount of food, and they will be full if they often eat snacks, so naturally they will not go to the dinner table.
Appetite.
There is also whether the family atmosphere is relaxed and whether the relationship between parents is harmonious, which also affects the appetite of children. Besides, children will be jealous of their brothers and sisters or other children around them.
If you feel unfairly treated or influenced by other negative emotions, you will also have symptoms of anorexia. Parents should pay more attention to these aspects.
A friend called and said that the children in her kindergarten didn't like eating. She called her mother-in-law in the country to complain, and her mother-in-law casually said, "Hungry!"
Two days will be fine. "This sentence makes the daughter-in-law very unhappy. How can an old woman say such a thing? I smiled and said, if you ask my opinion, I ...
Again: if you don't believe me, try for two days!
Of course, you don't have to starve your child for two days, but the free and easy concept conveyed by this sentence is really a magic weapon, which can make your child "eat well" and the effect is willing.
It will definitely exceed that kind of oral liquid. My mother-in-law in the country must have realized this trick with her rich experience.
"Special tips"
The main reason why children don't like eating is that parents care too much about their children's eating and demand too much on this issue. The child's normal appetite now is
Adults with enough material and time have destroyed it in good faith. When it comes to eating, fighting between parents and children is invincible.
● How to make children have a normal appetite? This is actually very simple, just four words: let nature take its course. When children show that they don't like to eat or eat
When you buy something, don't say it, let alone teach him a lesson, and don't rush to find a substitute. Pretend you don't know what to let him eat,
Just bring something; He even found an opportunity to hint in words that he liked it very much. 〗