2. Why do houses with many evil spirits in horror movies have pianos? Because "how many demons does the piano have?"
3. The Wulin leader was cornered by him, sitting on the ground, covering his wound, waiting for the knife to fall. Instead, he drew his knife back and knelt on the ground, muttering painfully, "She's gone ... even if she unified the Jianghu for me ... what can she do?" Fighting back the pain, the martial arts leader said huskily to him, "A bucket of paste ... can post a lot of searches for you ..."
4. Even if I don't do it, will you do it with a superior sword?
It is raining. I stepped on the mud and fell. I hate mud. Did you hear that? I hate mud.
6. Nezha asked Wukong: "Demon, dare you!" Wukong: "Love me like … like you said?"
7. Pumpkin purple potato and peanut are good friends. One day, Peanut invited them to play. Pumpkin asks peanut, who else? Peanut said, I am purple potato, do you hear? I only belong to you.
8. One day, a little pig and a little leopard went to eat. The boss said, what do you want to eat? Pig said, give me some pig food. The boss said, ok, a pig food. What do you want, little leopard? The little leopard said: leopard food. The boss said: Beijing time is eight o'clock sharp.
9. My old colleague nailed his signature, which read "God is a girl". I asked him why he was so literary, and he said it was called "unfair heaven".
10. Mr. Yu Guangzhong: "Don't ask me if I have you in my heart. All I have left is you. "
1 1. Even I didn't answer. What are you answering, the temptation to go home?
12. One day, the duckling confessed to the chicken: Chicken, I love you. Chicken: You don't have to duck.
13. One day, the bear bought an ice cream. The sun is like fire, and the ice cream melts to the ground. The bear said, "It looks like mud. It looks like mud." Did you hear that? I miss you so much.
14. "Have you seen my Wei Zi?" "Isn't your mouth on your face?"
15. Do you have a brief history? I have time to pick up that thing for what!
16. Want Want Snow Cake will become a Want Want quilt when it feels hot.
17. What about being tall? Don't you just want to bend down and talk to me when you meet me?
18. When I was seventeen, I caught a cicada. I thought I was catching it all summer. Cicada: I don't know if I love it or not, but I like it a little!
19. It rained heavily today. My friend asked me if I wanted an umbrella. I said no umbrella, no umbrella. Did you hear that? Don't leave.
20. "A piece of glass is ready to jump off a building. Guess what it will say? " "What?" "Good night, I'm broken."
Some simple humorous homophonic jokes in Weibo (Ⅱ) 2 1 The dragon thanked the crab for cooking it, so it was kind of the crab to cook it.
22. Want Want Snow Cake becomes a Want Want quilt as soon as it is hot!
23. Yu Gong said to his son: Move mountains, move mountains. Son: Shiny.
24. Am I short, short, short or short? Do you hear me or love?
25. You said it was natural for girls with risorius to laugh. Is it true that girls with Android phones get stuck when they laugh?
26. You haven't even tasted me. What are you tasting? Pinru?
27. Both shrimp and mussel got 100. The teacher asked whose shrimp you copied. Shrimp said, "I copied mussels." The teacher said, "What are you good at?"
28. You are looking for Ouyang Xiu.
29. Wearing AirPods all day will affect the luck of love, because AirPods has no sound source.
30. The mushroom was walking on the road and was hit by an orange. "I have no eyes, go to hell," said the mushroom angrily. "Then the orange died. Because bacteria will kill oranges, oranges must die. .
3 1. Know why the fox can't stand up, because he is cunning.
32. Today, I went to an island called Buevojura.
33. The tiger in the zoo gave the lion green. Why? Because the tiger has a green lion qualification certificate.
34. The male shark was shocked by the female shark and took two photos. When he arrived at the police station, the policeman asked him why. He said indignantly, "I just want to take two photos with her."
35. It's very hot today, 37 degrees. I bought two ice creams, and each of us got rid of the heat. Did you hear that? It's over.
The girl said to her father, "Dad, where are we going?" Dad didn't hear, but mom smiled. The girl said to her mother, "Mom, what are you laughing at?" Her mother slapped her.
37. The future is really tight now: masks are tight, clothes are tight, and pants are tight.
38. A cup of pumpkin almond dew, no apricots, no melons, no dew, and Nanren.
39. What are the benefits of a man being lascivious? Okay, what about you?
40. Do you know why Beijingers don't say homophonic terriers? Because old Beijing is not harmonious.
Some classic humorous jokes
The content of the chat was disclosed.
A buddy wechat asked me if I was here and how I was recently. My hand replied, "Not bad, that's all."
Who knows, when my buddy asked for a loan, he had to reply "OK, that's it", so he pretended to reply automatically several times in a row.
As a result, the buddy came up with a sentence: "If you don't have money, just say it, I can understand you, and WeChat didn't automatically reply to earn!"
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The idea is the same.
Today, I sent my drunken sister home, put her on the bed, tucked her in, and was pulled by my sister when I turned to leave: "I was actually pretending to be drunk!" " It seems that you are really serious, so I decided to tell you that Dux is under the pillow! "
As soon as I heard this, I flew into a rage: "You told me earlier, and I just went downstairs to buy it!" " "
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The most painful day for men: 1 February1day; Men's favorite day: 1 month 3 1 day.
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I said to a beautiful mm, "I invite you to dinner today." She said, "No, some other time ~" I am very excited!
I said to a brother, "I'll treat you to dinner today." He said, "No, some other time ~" I was embarrassed. ...
A beautiful mm said to me, "I invite you to dinner today." I said "no, some other time ~" and she said no-_-!
A dinosaur said to me, "I'll treat you to dinner today." I pointed to the wretched man next to me and said, "One day ~"
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There was a kissing scene on TV, and the father asked his son to pour a glass of water. Soon, there was a kissing scene on TV. Dad asked his son to pour another glass of water. The son asked, Dad, are you thirsty at the sight of someone kissing?
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Xiaomei: I watched a concert yesterday.
Xiao Wang: Really? That's good. Whose concert is this?
Xiaomei: Jay. I like him best. Yesterday's concert was wonderful.
Xiao Wang:? Jay hasn't given a concert recently.
Xiaomei: I watched it on TV.
Xiao Wang: ............................................................
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A man is in the hotel lobby and wants to ask the waiter a question. When he turned to the counter, he accidentally bumped into a lady next to him, and his elbow touched her chest. The man turned around and said, "Madam, if your heart is as soft as your chest, you will certainly forgive me." The lady replied, "If your work is as hard as your elbow, I will be at 65438+.
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A man went to a brothel and asked a woman the price. The woman replied: 50 yuan. The man saw it was cheap and did it. The woman said: Please pay 100 yuan. The man asked why. The woman replied that she was in and out of 50 yuan. The man said angrily: You are China Mobile, and you still charge in two ways!
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The twins are chatting in their mother's belly. The boss said: Dad is good and often shows us his head. He just didn't like hygiene, so he vomited and left. The second said, it's better to be an uncle next door. After spitting, he put the sputum in a bag.
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A man can't stay in the house for a long time, and his wife feels very uncomfortable. One day, before he asked his wife to take down the mirror, she was glad to do so. He separated his wife's legs, put his chin behind her vagina and asked her, Do I look good with a beard?
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The worst time I was beaten as a child.
I remember when I was a child, a beggar grandfather came to my door and my father gave him a dime.
Grandpa said, "I just want to eat, not money."
Without saying anything, my father brought the old man a lot of food.
After grandpa left, my father said, "There are really few elderly beggars like this. They are really poor, but they are very backbone. "
Then I said to my father, "When I grow up, as long as I'm full and don't need money, I want to eat." I also want to be a person with backbone. "
That was the worst beating I suffered in my childhood.
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Before you depilate, call a lion.
A man took a Tibetan mastiff out of the house and happened to meet an old man taking an unknown dog for a walk. The dog had lost all its hair.
The man said to the old man, "Dare you compare your dog with mine? Whoever loses the dog will give the other party 100 yuan. "
The old man agreed, and finally it turned out that the old man's dog won!
The man asked in surprise, "What kind of dog are you?"
The old man smiled and said, "I don't know what dog it is now." I only know that it was called a lion before it lost its hair! " "
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Only the IQ of taking the wrong medicine
In junior high school, in math class, a male classmate was sleeping at his desk.
The teacher woke him up and asked, "Why are you sleeping?"
He said, "I took the wrong medicine. I ate and drank for nothing, and I got it late. "
The teacher said helplessly, "Go to sleep, your IQ is useless."
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The young couple quarreled over a trifle. After the quarrel, the husband regretted it, so he let his wife watch two horses pulling a car outside. He said, "Why can't we go forward together like those two horses?"
The wife said angrily, "We are not two horses, because one of us is a donkey!" " "
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Xiao Wang, a young worker, wanted to transfer his job, so he invited the factory director for a drink. After three rounds of drinking, Xiao Wang took out the application report and handed it to the factory director. The drunken factory director picked up a pen and heavily signed two words on the application report-good wine.
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One day, an elephant in the zoo suddenly died, and the keeper came and immediately threw himself on the elephant and cried. Seeing this scene, the tourists were deeply moved and said, "The affection between this keeper and this elephant is too deep." Unexpectedly, someone interjected: "There is a rule in this zoo that if an animal raised by someone dies, then the grave of this animal must be dug by the keeper." How can he not cry? "
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He Si had an argument with his neighbor, and He Si rudely scolded each other: "You are a pig!" " "This matter was known by the security officer of the community, so I was fined four 30 yuan.
He Si received the ticket, unconvinced: "Last month, I called him a pig. You only fined me 20 yuan. "
"Sorry," the security guard said with a wry smile. "The price of pork has gone up recently."
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After lunch, the boss happily returned to the office and told the employees some jokes he heard outside. All the employees burst into laughter except one female employee.
The boss said to the salesgirl, "What's the matter? Don't you have any sense of humor? "
The salesgirl replied, "I don't have to laugh!" " I'm leaving next week anyway. "
A homophonic copy that can make you laugh all day (a collection of 40 sentences)
A homophonic copy that can make you laugh all day (I) 1. You don't even kiss me. What are you kissing? Tsingtao beer?
I grow mushrooms at home. I cooked and ate. I was poisoned and went to the hospital. The doctor said that I was poisoned by good mushrooms.
3. You don't even add my WeChat, so what do you add, Canada?
There is a piece of glass, and I am a little sleepy. Then it jumped down from upstairs and said, good night, I'm broken!
5. Even I don't want it, so what do you want, a meal?
6. Ugly people have objects, and beautiful women sell air conditioners.
7. The Wulin leader was cornered by him, sitting on the ground, covering his wounds, waiting for his hands to fall. Instead, he drew his knife back and knelt on the ground, muttering painfully, "She's gone ... even if she unified the Jianghu for me ... what can she do?" Fighting back the pain, the martial arts leader said huskily to him, "A bucket of paste ... can post a lot for you to search ..."
8. One day, the bear planted a strawberry and mango and found that the strawberry grew so slowly. The bear said, you can't make berries. You can't make berries. Did you hear that? No, you can't.
I bought a skirt today. I feel comfortable in it. I feel comfortable in it. Did you hear that? It's always there.
10. When I was seventeen, I caught a cicada. I thought I was catching it all summer. Cicada: I don't know if I love it or not, but I like it a little!
1 1. The male shark was shocked by the female shark and took two photos. When he arrived at the police station, the policeman asked him why. He said indignantly, "I just want to take two photos with her."
12. While eating, the power went out. I quickly ate two mouthfuls of rice, and suddenly the light came on. I exclaimed, is this the legendary lesbian?
13. One day, I found a little dust on my body. I patted hard, but I couldn't fall, the dust didn't go, the dust didn't go, did you hear? I can't go back.
14. Do you like the style of a lady or my epilepsy?
15. I found an island today ~ I am fascinated by you.
16. Even I don't cherish it. Empresses in the Palace, what do you cherish?
17. I don't care. What do you care? Italy?
18. Yongqi helped the grandmother to take a bath and even pulled out the grandmother mud.
19. The clothes are wrinkled, and I can't even iron them. I said don't wrinkle, don't wrinkle, you hear me? Don't go.
20. Girls who love to laugh can't be bad. Why are they so happy?
A homophonic copywriting that can make you laugh all day (2)1. Today, I washed some dates that were originally packed together, and they came apart when I washed them. Did you hear that? They separated long ago.
Once upon a time, there was a little pig. He planted a strawberry and a mango. Strawberries grow slowly. Piggy said to strawberry, you can't do it, you can't do it.
23. Guo suddenly called the agent of his wife with kidney calculi: Yudong Stone. His wife was shocked: look at the sea?
24. When the emperor came back from a private visit incognito, the Queen Mother asked, "Is your son tired during this trip?" The emperor was frightened and said, "My ... my name is Li Lei?"
25. I have a stomachache at midnight. I said, "Stomach, can you stop?" The stomach said, "My name is not stomach, but Chu Xun Yu."
26. "What will happen to a pear and a grain of rice in the refrigerator?" "Don't leave me!
27. One day, the boy was cleaning the table and accidentally killed two ants. Here comes a little ant. The boy asked it, "Little ant, where are your parents?" The little ant said, "You wiped it to death."
28. Yu Gong said to his son: Move mountains, move mountains. Son: Shiny.
29. Do you like apple juice, grape juice or my baby juice?
30. How is the door handle of the company meeting room broken? The boss is worried.
3 1. My uncle cut off his head and became fierce because he became a vulture.
32. Do you have an English name, Paul, because Paul is very scary?
33. It's normal not to reply to messages. Have you seen a beautiful woman who is not busy?
Xiao Wang doesn't know how to cross the river. Baidu made a mistake and actually crossed the river.
35. Today, I went to an island called Buevojura.
36. I want a cup of pumpkin almond dew, no apricots, no melons, no dew, and Nanren.
37. I said I liked Li Bai's poems better. Lu You was so angry that our family couldn't get online.
38. Wearing AirPods all day will affect the luck of love, because AirPods has no sound source.
39. Want Want Snow Cake will become a want want quilt when it feels hot.
40. I have to rely on threats for everything a good-looking and attractive girl can do.
Super-fire homophonic jokes in Little Red Book (a collection of 60 sentences)
The homophonic joke of Little Red Book-1. Mother sparrow smells the sparrow: "What hairstyle does the baby want to tie today?" Little sparrow: "choo choo ~"
I went to buy oysters. On the way home, all the oysters jumped out of the bag and got into the mud. It turns out that oysters like mud.
There is a piece of glass, and I am a little sleepy. Then it jumped down from upstairs and said, good night, I'm broken!
The name of the doctor who delivered Darren Wang must be Columbus, because he discovered the new continent.
5. If Ouyang Xiu can't do it, go to Wang Zhihuan.
6. I accidentally stepped on an ant, and the little ant said sadly, that's the queen, meowed, we don't have a queen.
7. You can't tell people who are afraid of dogs that there are not only dogs in front, but also dogs in the street.
8. Doraemon has no neck because of hygiene, because the blue neck is muddy.
9. Xiao Ming quarreled with his mother, and Xiao Ming made a dash for the door, so Xiao Ming's house had no door.
What did you eat today? I didn't eat duck. I ate hot and sour bamboo shoots.
1 1. A sheep migration.
12. I said to the crow's feet in the corner of my eye: We should fight hard.
13. Who doesn't like easy love? Think about Zhang Yide's love in history, which do Liu Bei and Guan Yu like better?
14. I understand a truth. If people are ugly, they should read more books. In the past, people said that I was not the material for reading, but I was praising my beauty.
15. You didn't even hurt me. What did you hurt? Tengger singer singer?
16. This is a pencil. This is a pen. You are my baby.
17. Zhang Fei escorted Liu Bei back to Jingzhou. Unexpectedly, he was ambushed by Cao Cao's army on the way. Liu Bei fled hastily, and Lu Yu fell off a cliff. Zhang Fei shouted, master, stop your horse quickly! Liu Bei: I am very happy with your mother!
18. Yu Gong said to his son: Move mountains, move mountains. Son: Shiny.
19. Once upon a time, the snake wanted to get the brightest gem in the world, but it couldn't get it. The snake couldn't help it. Did you hear that?
20. The most annoying animal is the orangutan, because it knocks on the chest.
The homophonic joke 2 1 on Little Red Book II. The coal point didn't catch fire. It turned out to be a coal fault.
22. Want Want Snow Cake will become a Want Want quilt when it feels hot.
23. Two grandfathers are playing chess. Child: Grandpa, your car is missing. Grandpa: What kind of car? It's called ju. Child: Oh, Grandpa, you rode away by yourself.
24. Puffs are squashed, and my mother says I can't eat them. I asked why, because they are flat puffs.
25. One day, an ant got lost, but luckily he met another ant, so he asked the ant, "How do you get back to the nest?" Another ant said, "with a smile or … very silent."
26. Hello, a cup of pumpkin almond dew, no melon, no apricot and no dew, and Nanren.
27. "I may be a loach", "Why" and "Because I like loach"
28. Before he died, Gong Yu said to his son, "Move mountains, move mountains", and his son said, "Shiny".
29. You said it was natural for girls with risorius to laugh. Is it true that girls with Android phones laugh hard?
My uncle became fierce when he cut his hair, because he became a vulture.
3 1. I have been short since I was a child. I am short, short, short. Did you hear that? I still love you.
32. Let me share with you the types of peppers, not spicy, slightly spicy, spicy, sweet and spicy. Today is my birthday.
33. Don't even coax me. Who are you kidding, Hong Shixian?
The doctor prescribed me some pills, and I accidentally knocked over the bottle, and the pills rolled out, screaming that they were good pills.
35. Why do houses with many evil spirits in horror movies have pianos? Because "there are several demons in the piano."
36. The ducklings line up for their mother. A duckling wants to align with the duck in front, but it can't. The duckling says anxiously, I'm sorry if it can't align with the duck.
37. Want Want Snow Cake becomes a Want Want quilt when it is hot!
38. I was not even invited. what are you going to do？
39. If I call a toad Chuchu, is it cute? I call the coyote a wolf, and only Gina thinks it's cute.
40. Xu Xian bought a hat for his wife. Why does the white snake feel particularly heavy after wearing it? Because it's a hat!
The homophonic joke 4 1 in Little Red Book 3. Yongqi helped the grandmother to take a bath and even rubbed out the grandmother mud.
42. I grow mushrooms at home. I cooked and ate. I was poisoned and went to the hospital. The doctor said that I was poisoned by good mushrooms.
I was so hungry that I had to hit my stomach with my fist to help me.
44. Tell those who once looked down on me that I have a house, not rented, but opened in King's Canyon, ok?
45. A teenager ate his classmate, who was just a teenager.
46. Mother Cat scolded the kitten and said, "Why did you tear the mouse you caught to pieces? Is it cruel of you not to do so? " Li Qu, the kitten, said, but the mouse slices are really delicious.
47. Today, I went to an island called Buevojura.
48. A pineapple went for a haircut. He sat for a long time, but the barber refused to cut his hair. He said, "Leave me alone."
Once upon a time, there was a little pig. He planted a strawberry and a mango. Strawberries grow slowly. Piggy said to strawberry, you can't do it, you can't do it.
50. "Why does the White Lady let Xu Xian go every time she is angry and sings?" "Because she is best at snake music."
5 1. Both shrimp and mussel got 100 points. The teacher asked whose shrimp you copied. Shrimp said, "I copied mussels." The teacher said, "What's so great about you?"
52. When I was in Gucci, my tears were always Parapara Dior.
I don't care. What do you care? Italy?
54. "That girl, with risorius, smiles naturally." "You said, is the girl on the Android machine stuck when she smiles?"
I can't pester him at the thought of him pestering the snake every day.
56. Okay, bad, whatever. Three people are good friends. One day, well, go out with something bad, so if it's bad, call it anything. Say who. If it's not good, say: let's make up.
57. One day, the bear was playing with a balloon bear, shouting and chasing. Don't go, don't go, don't go. Did you hear that? Please don't go.
58. Once upon a time, there were two turtles that looked very much alike. One barks at home and the other barks outside. After the physical examination, the doctor took the case list and asked who the sick turtle was. Take a closer look, it's the turtle at home.
59. One day, the bear was washing clothes, but there was a place that could not be cleaned. Mother bear said that you rubbed the bear carefully and said, "I did."
60. My clothes are wrinkled, and I can't even iron them. I said don't wrinkle, don't wrinkle, you hear me? Don't go.