Wu Zeyang's classic quotations. 1. Don't bring those four black books in the future. They are too heavy. They only have two functions, one is fitness and the other is self-defense. 2. Some students said, "I want to study hard" and "I want to go the way of NB, so let SB laugh". Then we can only take the SB road and make NBs laugh. Some people say that I know there are tigers in the mountains, and I prefer to go to Tiger Mountain. I mean, if you go, I won't go ... 3. Some people say I want to go my own way, let others say so. Do you think this is what people say? We should go the way of others and leave others no choice. There are two major investment banks in the world, one of which is Goldman Sachs, you know. Goldman Sachs only recruits undergraduates from Tsinghua and Peking University in China. The last time they came to Jiaotong University to give a report, they didn't talk to anyone. They just came to show how great they are. Later, two more schools were added to recruit master students, Fudan University and Jiaotong University, but last year they recruited a student from Caida University, because that was my cousin. I have an old classmate who works as a vice president at Goldman Sachs. I called him and he asked my cousin to go to work directly without an interview. But do you know what my cousin does? If the light bulb is broken, change the light bulb; if the table is broken, change the table. I told my classmates if I could ask my cousin to do something with room for development. As a result, my classmates told me that Goldman Sachs has always only recruited the best people. If they let customers know that a plan was made by one person from Caida, their customers will feel insulted ... 5. Goldman Sachs has a rule that employees can only stay in five-star hotels on business trips. If there are no local five-star hotels, they can only stay in four-star hotels. If there is no four-star hotel, they are not allowed to stay in the local area. You must fly first class. When the first class is fully booked, you must fly business class. Business class is fully booked, so wait for the next flight. 6. Do you know how to make a standard room? Double room. Does Twin know how to spell it? Relationship, relationship ... Do you know the difference between a double room and a double room? The former has two beds, while the latter has only one big bed. I have made mistakes before. Once, our director and his secretary went abroad on business ... what are you thinking? His secretary is a man! ! I booked a room for them, and I booked a double room at that time. Our director said that two people can make do anyway, but think about how big the problem is. Two men were lying on the same bed, and I ordered breakfast for them. The waiter had to push the cart into the room. Others will think that China people are too open-minded when they see it, as do both men ... 7. People in China and foreigners have different thinking habits. China people are always self-centered, while foreigners are always others-centered. Therefore, our diplomatic words are all China-US, China-UK and China-France. There is a university on Fuxing Road, and there is a Sino-British College in that school. Do you know how to speak English in Sino-British College? What's in it? (Someone is speaking Chinese at the bottom) Chinese? Vulgar! ! How can it be from China? It should be Chinese and English. Obviously, Englishman, what is an abbreviation? This has become an SB college. I'm afraid he will lose his brand, so I'll talk nonsense and take pictures. So, this is the price of egoism ... 8. French is a romantic language, German is an engineer's language, Russian is a poet's language, Chinese is an idealist's language, and Japanese is a bitch's language ... Are there any Japanese students there? (Nobody answered) If there is, let's beat him together. This is another teacher's evaluation of the teacher. ) Your teacher is very frugal and never plays. He said it's better to keep it simple. Once I went to Pudong to give a lecture with him. He said me first, then me. It was late, so I took a taxi home. He insisted on taking the bus, and I was almost home. He called me and told me "Shit, there is no car". I said, take a taxi. He said, "No, I have to take the bus, or I will wait for nothing." I said no car. What are you eating? He said. Hard work and plain living are the means, while extravagance and waste are the purpose. 10. What papers do you think teachers like best? (Some people say the answer is correct) No (no one has responded for a long time) Teachers like reading blank papers best! ! Either the paper looks like Picasso's painting, this arrow and that arrow, and the teacher can't see it clearly directly, so there is no need to look directly. Just like the last time I went to approve the entrance examination papers, I wrote a line in my composition, "I have nothing to write." You are a piece of shit! "What do you think when I saw it? (Some people say depression) Depression? How can you be depressed? My first reaction at that time was: yo? Come on, come and see! ! Come and see! ! ... this kind of paper will only bring us endless fun in the boring marking process ... 1 1. China people pay attention to progressive language, but their English is straightforward. Like proposing. I told people that we have been dating for four years. Yes, I have bought a house. I bought a ring today. What do you say? " China people's language is qualitative and English is quantitative ... For example, the leaders of China people always like to say "Please handle it as appropriate", and foreigners don't know what it means to handle it as appropriate all their lives. Another example is China's cooking recipes, which tell us what to add the right amount of oil and salt and burn with slow fire. Slow fire? What is slow fire? The gas in our house is the loudest, which is slower than Baosteel. What about the recipes of foreigners? For example, stir-fry a steak, add a few grams of oil and salt, stir-fry noodles A first, and then stir-fry noodles B at what temperature ... For example, how beautiful is a beautiful girl? You have to tell me how many beauty contests she participated in, what ranking she won, and how many men committed suicide for her ... 13. The same is true in real life. Do you want to call in sick? Don't even think about your colleague asking for sick leave. You don't need sympathy, but you should be happy, because his job is for you, and you will have many opportunities for promotion. Similarly, if you call in sick, do you think your colleagues will sympathize with you? Last year, Microsoft recruited people, and the interview was from 8 am to 4 am the next day. If you yawn at the last level, people will let you go out to have a rest at once. At this time, you should be full of energy. "Mama of, it's only four o' clock. Anything else? Let me do all this "... my classmate from Goldman Sachs also works hard, but why does he persist until now? Because he likes money. He likes the fun of counting money. He is usually very picky. When he was just promoted to vice president, he asked me to be his assistant. I thought he only opened the son of the East as VP. I felt that I had nothing to mix with, so I turned him down. Later, I learned that people are low-key and frugal. They have two sets of Cuihu Xintiandi, each with more than 6 million yuan, but he bought them casually. But he bought it and didn't live by himself. He rented out and lived in a second-hand house by himself. The decoration at home is very general. The only thing that is more valuable is that there is a teapot on the table. He prefers drinking tea. Last time I went to their house during the Spring Festival, I saw two words written on the teapot: "Yu", so I wanted to say "Long live, long live, long live!" This is really valuable ... he is really stingy. He once invited me to a buffet, the best buffet in Shanghai, on the first floor of Shangri-La, with 260 people. After eating, he took out a piece of paper and said, "Please sign this to prove that you are my customer and I will go back to reimburse you" ... He said that he would invite me to dinner and let me invite him to a movie. I said yes, so I went to the supermarket and bought two bottles of Nongfu Spring. He saw a bottle of 2.5 yuan, "rob money! You wait, I'll go to the company to pick up two bottles "... He is working in Hong Kong now, and a haircut is very expensive. He took a bus to Shenzhen, where he got a haircut on 8 yuan, and then took a bus back to Hong Kong ... He was really frugal and his family was rich. I didn't know this until later. How should I know? His wife is my colleague and always comes to work with a broken bag, but in fact, his wife drives a Hummer. Why has she never seen it? Because she always parks her car one kilometer away from the school and walks there. His wife took two daughters on a trip last summer. Do you know where to go? Go hunting in Africa! ! It is said that I want to go salmon fishing in Alaska this year! ! Tragedy ... I can't talk about it now. I want to be his assistant ... tragedy! ! 14. Every place has a different civilization. For example, I went to India. I stayed at their Marriott Hotel, which is a very good hotel. As a result, I went to the toilet and found no toilet paper. I ran angrily to the front desk and asked them why they didn't give us toilet paper. As a result, the waiter there told me that there is no toilet paper in India, and they pay attention to nature. I said, what do you want me to do? She said there was a faucet next to it ... I said, what do you want me to do with my hands? Then you might as well give me a stick. I insisted that they give me toilet paper. As a result, when I came back from a trip, there were five leaves beside the toilet ... I went to Mumbai to watch the Ganges holy bath. Do you know how to take a holy bath? Is for men and women to take a bath together. Too excited to sleep at night, I rented a disc to watch. Then I went to Yokogawa the next day and almost threw up. They are indeed men and women bathing together in the Ganges, but there are floating bodies all around them. Their civilization believes that only the purest and most spiritual people are qualified to bathe with the corpse, because they can change the soul, only unmarried men and women can, but we can't accept it. Later, we had a barbecue by the river. They caught a fish on the spot, which was very fresh, cut it open and roasted it, and then asked me if I wanted to add spicy food. I said yes, the barbecue person immediately climbed the tree, picked the fruit, cut it and sprinkled it with powder. Have you ever seen such fresh seasoning? They believe in nature, and I ate it. It's delicious. After going back to the hotel, I had to go to the toilet and saw some leaves next to me. I immediately thought of his hand just now. At that time, I had a feeling that "life is always stepping on shit", so civilization is not good or bad, just different. Like the United States, don't think there is no death penalty. Actually, there is. Every state is different. They were sentenced to death, unlike us. They won't tell you when to carry it out. One man was sentenced to 27 years and did not execute it. He said many times that he would carry it out, but he cancelled it. Once he was dragged to the execution room. As a result, someone held a sign outside to protest and had to send him back. This is more terrible than the direct execution of the death penalty. That man later wrote an application for execution ... 15. I hate people calling me Mr. Wu. For example, I bargained with others on Qipu Road. What do you want me to do next? 16. Although we say not to judge a book by its cover, in real life we all judge a book by its cover. I used to go to an interview with a classmate, and there were four interviewers in four corners. My classmate went to a room at random and I followed him. Later, I saw an old lady in her fifties, and her classmate was very handsome. The interviewer looked up at my classmate while reading his resume. The woman said, "Your school is good ... you have a lot of social experience ... but why haven't you passed Band 4?" So my classmate began to make up "My grandmother was sick when I was a sophomore, and my grandfather was dying when I was a junior ..." The woman didn't say anything, so she asked, "Isn't your home in Shanghai?" Yes, it's hard to work. Why don't I see if I can put you in the company dormitory after you come in, so it won't be so hard ... where's your girlfriend? She is in a foreign country. What about your long-term separation? Please, this is my personal phone. Let your girlfriend come to Shanghai to find a job, and I'll arrange it for her ... "Personal call, what's the concept? We are all excited to hear the sound outside. Later, after the buddy came out, I went in. The woman looked at it and said, "Your school doesn't seem so good. "Mama of, I went to his school. Why is his school good? Not so good for me! But my classmates are really handsome, like Daniel Wu. Later he received an offer, but I didn't. 17. The salaries of teachers in colleges and universities are not high, such as Fudan Jiaotong University and first-tier universities, which are better, followed by foreign trade, credit, maritime affairs, etc., which are relatively rich and others are basically average. Do you know which university teacher is the poorest? Tongji University! Their teacher is really bad, very bad! Reference. Reference.