On a draft stage, several girls are performing their talents in their fixed positions. A beautiful girl in a white dance skirt danced well and was knocked down by a girl in a green skirt.

Then, the girl in the green skirt continued to dance naturally as if nothing had happened.

What makes people angry is that in a short time, the little girl in green skirt saw that the little girl in white skirt was still dancing, so she rushed over and danced and almost knocked down the little girl in white skirt with her elbow.

Many netizens who watched the video were very angry. The girl in the green skirt actually hit the girl in the white skirt twice for no reason.

Although the girl in white skirt didn't speak, she quickly adjusted her mood, but she must be very wronged.

As parents, it must be even worse to see their children being bullied. They love their children dearly, but they are also very angry at Xiong Haizi's behavior.

Many parents think about how to stink. But what parents should seriously think about is why children are bullied.

Teacher Liu Peng, an education expert, once said:

Children who are bullied have more or less personality defects, weak personality, and dare not resist or ask for help.

Children have problems, after all, parents' education has problems. They don't give their children enough confidence to resist the malice from this world.

So, what kind of family is easy to raise children who are easy to be bullied?

0 1

Parents are too strong and children are suppressed everywhere.

No matter which parents don't want their children to be bullied, some powerful parents suppress their children everywhere, which makes them timid.

Luo Luo, the son of his wife's family, is a very lovely boy. When I was a child, Lolo was very cute.

But his wife said that as the child grew up, he became weaker and weaker. He is often bullied by his classmates. He doesn't like to talk and doesn't know how to ask for help.

My cousin is an executive of a company. She usually works hard with her son. Every time her son asks, she will refuse the child from a personal standpoint and will not allow the child to talk back.

After a long time, children become cautious in front of their mothers, and I am afraid of accidentally provoking their mothers to scold them; In front of children of the same age, Lol-Lol is afraid to express his opinions for fear of causing ridicule from others.

Once, my wife found that Lolo spent her pocket money quickly. 50 yuan's pocket money was spent in less than three days.

My wife asked Lolly what she bought, and Lolly told her classmates to ask him for money to buy snacks.

My wife asked her son why he didn't tell his mother. Lol cried, I'm afraid my mother will scold me.

My wife is very unhappy. Her children would rather be bullied than complain to their mother.

Therefore, if parents are too strong and control their children's lives too much, children will become unconfident and independent.

Even if you are bullied, you suffer silently for fear of being blamed. Over time, it will hurt children's hearts and make them more and more cowardly.

02

Parents are timid, and so are children.

There was a question and answer in Zhihu, and there was an experience of a timid parent.

A netizen's answer was highly praised.

When she was 9 years old, she had dinner with her little cousin. When her little cousin accidentally broke a bowl, her parents would blame her and why not look at it for her.

She was wronged and said that she was not the Flash and could not have such a fast speed. How can a 9-year-old child always want to take care of children older than her?

Many years later, she talked to her mother about it. Her mother said that when she saw the broken bowl, she was so angry that she felt that she could not scold other people's children, so she had to scold her own children.

After many years, she said that she became more and more like her mother, timid to outsiders, but harsh on her family.

Parents' words and deeds have a great influence on their children.

This reminds me of the movie "Better Days", in which the girl Chen Nian expressed sympathy for her classmate who jumped off the building because she was dissatisfied with school bullying. Those campus bullies regard her as a thorn in the side and a thorn in the flesh.

They blocked Chen Nian in the alley and cut her hair with scissors. When playing basketball, deliberately throw the basketball on her head; When I went downstairs, I deliberately pushed her down the stairs.

If all this can be tolerated, then when Chen Nian turned to her mother for help, her mother's words completely chilled her.

What Chen Nian's mother said to her the most was: "Be patient, it will be fine after the college entrance examination. You will grow up and our life will be better."

But the mother's inaction just made the old horse's heart collapse by trying to escape.

When children encounter problems and seek help, if parents choose to let nature take its course, then children will be farther and farther away from their parents, because they will feel that their parents don't love themselves and don't understand themselves.

Only when children feel the love and warmth of their parents can they have hope for the world and greater confidence in their future life.

03

Family disharmony, children's likable personality

Upstairs in my house is a couple in their thirties. They often quarrel over a trivial matter, but the performance of their youngest daughter is distressing.

Once I went upstairs and passed their door. Their door was open, and the couple were very angry. There is glass slag broken by a water cup on the ground.

It seems that a war at home has just ended.

Two adults stood in the living room with angry faces. Their little daughter is only 5 years old. She is carefully cleaning up the rubbish on the ground with her little hands. The poor little figure is really distressing.

Therefore, after quarreling between adults, don't neglect children, explain to them, calm their emotions, and don't let innocent children get hurt.

Because children will feel insecure when they see adults quarreling, and even think that they have done something wrong to make their parents unhappy.

In order to avoid parents' anger, they often learn to read words and observe emotions quickly to please their parents. In the process of getting along with others, in order to protect himself, he subtly ingratiates himself with others and unconsciously becomes a likable character.

Maybe some people say, is it not good to please others?

Psychologist Harriet Black answered this question:

"About please, there is a big misunderstanding. Many people think it is a benign psychological state. After all, it always looks good to be treated as a good person. But the reality is that many flatterers do not simply please others, but are uncontrollable to please others, subconsciously sacrifice themselves, and even indulge in appreciation and recognition from others. "

04

Write it at the end

Parents will be angry and distressed when they see their children being bullied, but we should also think about why children have such a personality.

We should also reflect on our education of children in daily life and our influence on children.

Parents' words and deeds and their own behavioral abilities have a deep influence on children.

Children grow up only once, so parents must pay more attention to their inner world, give them a healthy growth environment, and let them grow a face that is not easy to bully to fight against the stormy life in the future.

About the author: Yi Ming, a middle-aged girl, contributes continuously to Camp 2.0; Write with your left hand, raise your baby with your right hand, and write with a persistent heart.

(This article is Yi Ming's original feed)