Marriage is an important event in life, so what questions should be asked before marriage? The following 13 questions that must be asked before marriage are brought to you by me. I hope they will help you.

When it comes to marriage, ignorance can really hurt people.

Emotional experts say that many couples don't ask each other questions that help to build a solid marriage foundation but are difficult to answer, whether out of shyness, indifference or the desire to keep romantic mystery.

People who want to get married now, in addition to looking for someone to have children and live the rest of their lives safely, expect the other half to be the best friends and confidants. This cartoon-like expectation of romantic love is partly due to Hollywood, but it is not easy to achieve it.

It is true that in the early stage of a relationship, partners can ask many questions to ensure a good match. But to be honest, most people don't talk.

? If there is a problem, it is not handled before marriage and needs to be handled after marriage. Robert, Executive Director of the Institute for the Promotion of National Relations? Scuka said. It is really difficult to keep a secret year after year. Silence before marriage may lead to disappointment later.

The following questions are personal and sometimes embarrassing, but their purpose is to stimulate public discussion and give couples a chance to share secrets before it is too late.

1. When there is disagreement, will your family break the plate, discuss it calmly, or keep silent?

Peter, one of the founders of Lovers College? Peter Pearson pointed out that the success of a relationship depends on how to deal with differences. He said that since we are all influenced by our own families, this question can give you a glimpse of whether your partner will imitate your parents' conflict resolution methods or avoid them.

2. Will we have children? If you are born, will you change diapers?

Debbie, divorce and relationship counselor? Debbie Martinez said that when it comes to children, it is important not to just say what you think your partner likes to hear. Before marriage, husband and wife should discuss frankly whether they want to have children. How many/much? When were you born? In your imagination, what would it be like to be a parent? Marty, a sex and marriage counselor? Marty Klein says it is also important to discuss contraceptive methods before planning pregnancy.

3. Does the experience with our predecessors help or hinder us?

Bradford, director of the National Marriage Program at the University of Virginia? Willcocks cited the research supported by his team and pointed out that if there are many serious relationships before, it may bring the risk of divorce or poor marriage quality. Maybe it's because such people have experienced more painful breakups, and they may compare their current partners with their predecessors. ) Dr. willcocks thinks it will help to ask these questions earlier. Dr. Klein said, everyone? Don't want to talk about the past directly? You may also feel jealous or harsh about the past. ? The only way to have this conversation in an intimate, effective and caring way is to accept that the other person has a history before being with you. He said.

4. How important is religion? If a religious festival is to be celebrated, what kind of form will it be?

If they come from different religious backgrounds, do they believe in their own religion? During his tenure as executive director of the National Institute for the Promotion of Relations, Dr. Scuka encouraged some couples to have frank discussions on such issues when consulting them. Besides, when children are involved, conflicts between spouses are particularly susceptible to religious traditions, Wilcock said. If two people decide to have children, they must discuss how to deal with the religious education of children. He said, it is better to have a plan.

5. If one party is in debt, will it share it? Are you willing to help me financially?

Frederick, divorce lawyer? Frederick Hertz said that it is important to know your partner's views on financial independence and whether he or she wants to manage your finances alone. It is very important to disclose your debt information to your partner. Similarly, if there is a big income gap between you and your partner, Dr. Scuka will advise you to establish a basic expenditure budget according to the income ratio. He said that many couples don't talk about sharing their finances, although it is extremely important.

6. How much are you willing to spend on a car, a sofa or a pair of shoes?

Couples should ensure that their financial prudence and enterprising are consistent. Dr. Hertz believes that buying a car is a good measure. He said that couples can also change this question to what they will spend freely.

7. Can you accept that I can do something without you?

Training institutions? Practical application of intimacy skills? Seth, President of Practical Application of Intimate Relationship Skills (Paris)? Seth Eisenberg believes that when entering marriage, many people want to remain independent in certain areas of life and establish a partnership with their spouses. This means that they may not want to share their hobbies or friends. If they don't communicate about this, it may make the other person feel excluded, which will lead to tension between them. Dr. Klein said respect? Privacy? What it means, the two sides may have different expectations, and it is necessary to discuss it. Dr Wilcock suggests asking your partner when he needs privacy most.

8. Do we like each other's parents?

Scuka believes that as long as you are on the same side as your partner, the problem of bad relationship with your in-laws can be controlled. However, he said that if one party is unwilling to face and solve the problems related to parents, it does not bode well for the long-term healthy development of their relationship. At the same time, Dr. Pearson said that analyzing your parents' strengths and weaknesses will help you understand their attachment or alienation patterns in future partnerships.

9. How important is sex to you?

Eisenberg said that today's couples expect to be sexually excited about their partners, which was impossible in the past. Dr Klein believes that in a healthy relationship, both parties should be able to discuss each other's sexual preferences and frequency of sex. If the two sides have different expectations of each other through sex, for example, one side wants to get pleasure and the other side wants to feel young, it may be necessary to negotiate to ensure that both sides can continue to be satisfied.

10. How far can flirting go? Is it acceptable to watch porn?

Klein said that couples should talk about their views on pornography, flirting and maintaining exclusive sexual relations. He said that the agreement reached by couples on this issue is likely to change in the future, but it is a good thing to set the tone at an early stage so that the two sides can naturally discuss such issues. Ideally, he said, we should talk about exclusive sex like other things we care about every day, so as to deal with possible problems in advance and avoid annoying each other. Pearson suggests asking your partner frankly about pornography. He said that couples are usually afraid to ask each other this question in the early stage of their relationship development, but this will often become an aspect that will lead to tension between the two sides in the future.

1 1. Do you know what these expressions are? I love you? Way?

In 1992, The Five Languages of Love, Gary? Gary Chapman introduced this differentiated expression of love to strengthen marriage. Martinez listed five love words for her soon-to-be-married clients: affirmation, happy time, receiving gifts, mutual service and physical contact. She asked them to mark their first and second love words and the two they thought their partners used more, and then discussed them. Eisenberg said that couples need to find a unique way to improve their relationship.

12. What do you admire about me and what can't you stand?

Do you know that some challenges will kill your love for your partner? If you knew, what would you do? Ann, director of new york Ethics and Culture Association? Anne Claessen said that couples seldom consider the second question. She said that ideally, marriage is a lifetime together, only? Love at first sight? Is not enough. This word is used by many couples to describe their relationship. But is marriage necessarily better than the original? Love? Go deeper.

13. What do you think we will be like in ten years?

Eisenberg believes that keeping your answer to this question in mind will help your spouse solve the current conflict and strive to achieve his ultimate goal in marriage.

Willcocks said that this kind of discussion also provides you with an opportunity to know whether your partner will consider divorce when their relationship deteriorates, or whether they think that marriage will last a lifetime no matter what happens.

Extended reading:

18 What you need to know before you get married.

0 1 What is the most important criterion for girls to choose their other half?

A: It's a long time. Marry someone who makes you laugh more than cry. Read this sentence three times.

Do women still want to fight after marriage?

A: Just eating kelp makes you feel that eating seafood is incomplete. You can also try spicy fried clams, braised shrimps, steamed hairy crabs, salmon sashimi, scallop vermicelli, abalone sauteed with sauce, octopus with onion, grilled squid and fish head with chopped pepper. The world is much bigger than we thought. Only by working hard can we meet the scenery we want to see. We nest at the bottom of the well, only spicy bullfrogs.

Do men care most about a woman's face value or her inner self?

A: Women only care about what men care about, and they are likely to have a bad life. A capable woman creates her own life, instead of expecting to change her life through love and marriage. Therefore, what a woman should care about most is what she likes.

Never compromise yourself to please someone's preferences.

What should couples do if their emotions get out of control and make a scene?

Answer: Count to ten, say a tongue twister, find something to eat, say? I love you? Whether it's body or mind, there must be a distance, right? The first scene of the quarrel? Do it. However, after cooling down, we have to think about a question: did the quarrel add new problems or solve old problems?

Husband and wife are not afraid of quarreling, and they don't have to avoid quarreling. Quarrel is an impulsive emotion. It's just that quarreling is wrong, and feelings will get louder and lighter. Finally, they can only put more salt. You know very well that it hurts to put salt on the wound.

How to live a better life?

A: I suggest you try it: the principle of next income. In other words, you want to buy what you like and use your next income, so that you will make money desperately to change the status quo, satisfy your better wishes again and again, and improve your potential again and again.

The first four things to do to improve the quality of life: to throw, to dare to buy, to earn, and to understand love.

Even if you start with a small thing, it will gradually get better, such as cleaning up the garbage in your mobile phone, deleting 10' s WeChat friends every day, and throwing away things that just look useful but occupy your home space.

What is marriage?

A: For a planned long-distance trip, no matter how difficult the journey is, you should hold each other's hands and don't fall behind.

Is marriage the purpose of love?

A: Love itself is very simple, but people's desires are too deep and want too much, you see? Are relationships that don't aim at marriage hooligans? When did we become so utilitarian in love? Just like it, can't you have a good love?

The older you get, the more you will feel that you really want to have a serious relationship and don't have to get married in a hurry. Because of many things in life, you must think clearly before marriage, otherwise marriage will be very painful. Like when to have a baby? Do you want to live with your parents? What you once particularly disapproved of is a war without smoke in marriage, which will affect your life inadvertently.

I hope you can talk about a love that doesn't aim at marriage, enjoy everything that love brings, get married naturally, and say goodbye when you break up.

What are more heartfelt confessions than "I love you"?

A: I love you is not necessarily the most touching love story. You prepare roast beef with hot oil and iron plate, mix a cup of honey grapefruit tea with ice cubes, steam a bowl of tender and smooth double-skinned milk, make a crispy grilled lamb chop with charcoal thread and a juicy crab soup bag, and then ask her if it's delicious. You wait for her anxiously, answer slowly, in a word? Hmm? Worth all the love words in the world. Is there anything better than eating with people you like?

Will poverty affect love?

A: Poverty itself will not, but the causes of poverty will affect love, such as laziness, lack of progress, aimlessness, complaining and so on. Therefore, the breakup caused by poverty should not be attributed to lack of money, because poverty will only affect the way of love.

Money, as long as you do it in a down-to-earth manner, will always be earned. Love is different. Fortunately, if you like someone, your efforts and talents are useless. If he doesn't like you, he just doesn't. You've heard that love grows with time. That is wrong. What grows over time is gratitude, habit and stability, which has nothing to do with love. The most important thing in love is passion, just like flying monkeys.

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10 Should we make more friends and develop contacts?

A: The word Internet is quite utilitarian. If you really want to make friends, I suggest you develop yourself first. Your aura determines the quality of making friends, so the better you are, the better your circle of friends will be. Because comparison is not a stable relationship, whether it is friendship or love.

As the old saying goes: No common cause, no common goal? Therefore, I believe that it is worthwhile to be better, and it is a pleasure to have friends from afar. The more experienced you are, the more you will care about your friends. Why don't you have a heart-to-heart talk all night?

Growth is a good word, it will screen those important people to be with you.

1 1 What is the definition of independence?

A: Maybe it's unhappy at work, maybe it's unhappy in love, and I can't find the meaning of life. It doesn't matter. You read books, brush your oral English, run and eat by yourself. You have independent disposable money, independent disposable time, independent disposable decisions, independent disposable space, independent disposable interpersonal communication and independent private secrets. Those days when you are alone make you more and more interesting, which is very important, because you will always be found by others, and you think differently from them.

The purpose of independence is not to hide and be lazy, but to be desperate.

12 how to give up someone I love for a long time but don't love me?

He is still Mr. Dong, but you are already Mrs. Wang. No matter how much you love, you should be polite. Don't be greedy for other people's things.

People who like you will come to you one day and walk slowly. Don't worry. You see, it takes five minutes to spread the pancake fruit, spread the eggs with hot sauce and bake sausages with sesame seeds and fried dough sticks. It takes 10 minutes for Chinese hamburger to be crispy from roasting to minced meat, pepper and chopped green onion. Zhajiang Noodles mutton bread in soup, fried bun and so on! Even if you make a pack of instant noodles, you have to wait for 3 minutes. It's so hard to wait for a meal, let alone someone who loves you.

13 how to keep a long-term freshness in feelings?

Do you know the law of 10000 hours? The same applies to feelings.

Only by constantly learning to dig can we find fun. Unfortunately, most people lose their freshness after reading the word marriage on the cover.

On the newsstand downstairs, the Morning Post hasn't changed its name for decades. Why do people still subscribe every day? Because the content is fresh every day. The breakfast stand is just two steps away. Soybean milk fritters have been supplied for ten years. Why do people still come to eat every day? Because the fritters are freshly fried every day, the ground soybean milk is very pure.

Unfortunately, people always work hard and reach the rule of 10000 hours, but they don't remember that work is just a part of life and forget to love someone with the rule of 10000 hours.

14 How can I live a happy and fulfilling life in my marriage?

Answer: Do only one little thing every day, a trivial little thing. For example, get up five minutes early, make breakfast for your lover, kiss your lover before going to work, buy a bunch of flowers on your way home from work, book two movie tickets, go to a favorite buffet, go to a favorite place in the city where you live now, invite friends to dinner, give your lover a hug, say an encouraging word, remember to buy a gift for your parents' birthday, and so on.

Find a notebook, write it down and tick it. /kloc-After 0/00 days, you will find that your life has changed a little. Stick to it and it will get better and better. If you work together and do one small thing for each other every day, you will be very happy.

It's a pity that you always say that you are too busy to do a little thing.

15 What is a waste of time? Why are you busy but it doesn't work? What should I do if my work is still unsatisfactory?

A: You should remember that what can't make you grow is a waste of life.

For example, you are busy with things that are meaningless to the future. For example, if you work overtime in the middle of the night and send a circle of friends, let others think that you are working hard. For example, you are experiencing a job that only exchanges wages, and you can't see your future career plan. Maybe five years later, you will still be in this position, which will only increase your length of service and will not increase your ability.

The core reason why the work is still unsatisfactory is that the ability is not good and the requirements are too high. Read this sentence three times and you will know what you should do.

16 Do you want AA system in love?

A: There is an old saying? Take somebody else's hand short, eat somebody else's mouth soft? This is also the reason why many relationships are in a dilemma. The more you owe each other, the more you can't tell whether it's touching or love. Even if you break up, you are not happy. You feel guilty.

AA's position is to reciprocate. We should respect each other's pure love. It's not just everything AA, not a meal 100 yuan at 50 per person, but you invite me to dinner and I invite you back. Because, love ultimately needs two people to pay the bill, AA's contribution is equal and evenly matched, and each other will cherish it more.

Think about it carefully, one party only gives, and the other party only enjoys unequal love. What is the final outcome? So I suggest you talk about an AA love affair, which is fate, not material.

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17 is the chicken soup about emotion useful?

A: We can't tell our friends all our grievances. Sometimes we find some comfort in stories. Chicken soup that can soothe the mood is useful to you. Sometimes, what we are looking for is not the direction, but a beam of light is enough in the dark night. Look, the whole starry sky is mine.

But don't be addicted, you can give your mood to chicken soup to comfort, but you must give your luck to your efforts.

18 which sentence can make us instantly full of blood?

A: The account * 1234 was deposited at 22:03 on June 165438+ 10/2, and the available balance was 77,777.77 yuan. Other legitimate online trading income. Minsheng Bank

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