1 One day, flies were eating shit. Baby fly asked, "mom, mom, why do we eat shit?" Mother fly said to baby fly, "Fuck you, don't say such disgusting things when eating."

One day, three explorers discovered the "Valley of Hope". According to legend, as long as you shout what you want at the edge of the valley and then jump into the valley, you will get what you want. So the three of them decided to have a try.

The first one was a goat, so he shouted at the woman and jumped down. Sure enough, there are a lot of beautiful women waiting for him.

The second is a bookworm. He shouted book, book, book, and then jumped. There are really full of ancient books.

The third kind is an indecisive person, who can't decide what he likes after thinking for an hour. He made up his mind that money is the most useful thing, so he went to the valley, accidentally kicked a stone and scolded it before losing his focus …

One day, a university teacher asked a student, there are nine birds in the book, one was shot dead, how many are left?

The student asked, is it silent pistol? No, how loud was the shot? Answer 80- 100 decibels. Is it illegal to shoot birds in this city? No offense. Are you sure this bird was really killed? Of course. At this time, the teacher was impatient: "Will you just tell me how many birds there are?" Student: Are the birds in the tree deaf? No. Have you ever been caged and hung from a tree? No, if a bird is pregnant, is it a bird in its belly? Not exactly. Are the bird hunters dazzled? No. The teacher was sweating all over and the bell rang. But student: Are there any stupid birds who are not afraid of death? No. Would you kill two people in a robbery? No. The student said confidently, "If your answer is not a lie, there is still a bird hanging on the tree." If you drop it, there will be none left. "The teacher immediately foaming at the mouth, fell to the ground.

Two tomatoes crossed the road, a car flew by, one was squashed, and the other pointed to the squashed tomato and smiled: dig hahahahahahahaha, ketchup …

The match felt itchy, so I reached out and scratched it, and I burned myself to death.

One day, my mother asked me, "What do you mean this question is too easy?" I replied, "This question is too simple." Mom: "It's too simple. Why didn't you say it? ! "I said," It's too easy, "and I got hit.

Another day, my mother asked me, "What does this mean?" Me: "What" Mom: "What do you mean? ! ! "Me:" What! ! ! "I was beaten again.

Another day, my mother asked, "I heard many people say fuck you." What do you mean by fuck you? " Me: "t t"