Before Christmas comes, I want to ask a question about a joke and offer a reward of 20 points.

Just search the website Baidu!

Here are some hilarious jokes that I have carefully collected for you! Let you laugh enough at a time ~ ~ ~ There are always a few that can make you happy. I hope you like them, O (∩ _ ∩) O.

1. The headmaster and the English teacher visited a middle school in France. The headmaster spoke in the auditorium and the English teacher translated.

Principal: "Teachers and students!"

English teacher: "ladies and gentlemen!"

Principal: "Ladies and gentlemen!"

English teacher-_-! Thought for a moment and said, "Good morning!"

Principal: "Good morning!"

English teacher: ... = = "Khan.

2. It is said that there is a polar bear, because the snow is too dazzling, he has to wear sunglasses to see things, but he can't find sunglasses, so he crawls around on the ground with his eyes closed, crawling and crawling, and his hands and feet are dirty before he finds sunglasses. Put on sunglasses and look in the mirror, only to find out: Oh, I am a panda.

3. A polar bear stayed alone on the ice in a daze, and when he was really bored, he began to pull out his hair, one, two, three, and finally none left, and then he died of cold.

4. Once upon a time, there was a bird who passed through a cornfield every day, but unfortunately, one day there was a fire in that cornfield, and all the corn turned into popcorn! ! ! After the bird flew by ... it thought it was snowing, so it was cold.

Xiaoming got a new haircut and came to school the next day. The students saw his new hairstyle and laughed: Xiaoming, your head looks like a kite! Xiao Ming felt very wronged, so he ran outside and cried and cried, and he flew.

6. The spider fell in love with the butterfly, but the butterfly refused it. The spider asked: Why? This is why! Butterfly said: My mother said that people who hang out online all day are not good people.

7. On a hot summer day, two bananas were walking on the road. The banana walking in front suddenly felt so hot. He said, It's so hot. I want to take off my clothes. As a result, he peeled off the skin. As a result, the banana at the back fell down. Then the stripped banana becomes dried banana ~

8. One day, three explorers finally found the "Valley of Hope". According to legend, as long as you stand at the edge of the valley and shout what you want, and then jump into the valley, you will get what you want. So the three of them decided to have a try.

The first one was a goat, so he shouted "Woman! Woman! " The next jump is really full of beautiful women waiting for him.

The second one is a bookworm, shouting "Book Book Book Book Book!" Then, jump into the valley and get books full of pits and valleys.

The third is an indecisive person, who can't decide his favorite after thinking about it. After an hour, he finally made up his mind that money is the most useful, so he went to the valley. He accidentally kicked a stone and scolded "shit!" Unexpectedly, an unstable center of gravity fell into the valley.

9. What about Xiao Ming? He will have an exam tomorrow, but he is watching TV at night.

Xiao Ming's mother asked anxiously: Have you finished all the books? There will be an exam tomorrow

Xiao Ming readily replied: Mom, I finished reading it.

Xiao Ming's mother praised Xiao Ming happily: Good boy, then you must do well in the exam tomorrow.

Xiao Ming cried and said, Mom, I mean,' Mom, I think it's over'.

10. The panda loves the deer deeply, but it is rejected when expressing its love. Panda roar ~ Why? What's all this for? The deer said timidly, My mother said that all the people wearing sunglasses are bad teenagers.

1 1. One day Xiaoming was walking on the road! I suddenly feel sore when I walk! Why is this happening? Because Xiaoming stepped on a lemon!

12. Which Chinese character is the coolest? Thong (cool)

Towel "said to" coin ":son. You wear a doctor's hat, and you'll be worth a hundred times.

"ruler" said to "do": Sister, the result is out. You are pregnant with twins.

"Minister" said to "Giant": The same area as you. I have three rooms and two halls.

13. One day, a university teacher asked a student, there were ten birds in the tree, and one was shot and killed. How many were left?

The student asked: Is it silent pistol? No, how loud was the shot? 80- 100 decibel. Is it illegal to shoot birds in this city? No offense. Are you sure that bird was really killed? Sure. At this time, the teacher was impatient: "just tell me how many birds are left, OK?" Are there any deaf birds in the tree? No. Have you ever been caged and hung from a tree? No. Are there any other trees nearby? Are there any other birds on the trees? No. If a bird is pregnant, does it count as a bird in its belly? Not really. Do people who shoot birds have flowers in their eyes? No flowers, just ten. The teacher was sweating all over, and the bell rang, but the students continued to ask: Are there any birds that are too stupid to be afraid of death? Are afraid of death. Will you kill two with one shot? No. The student said confidently, if your answer is not deceptive, "If the killed bird hangs on the tree and doesn't fall, then there is only one left. If it falls, there is no one left.". The teacher immediately foaming at the mouth fell to the ground!

14. One day, someone passed a crossroads and found a super scary thing. He found Kakashi and the Monkey King laughing!

15. Once upon a time, one night, there were three shrimps in the pond. Hahaha, a female ghost farted and died.

16. A female alien who is engaged in biological research came to the earth. After a circle, she felt that human genes had a lot to learn from, so she arrested a man and wanted to bring him back with the text information about human genes. But the spaceship is too small to take him away, and the information is too huge to take it all at once. When she was anxious, the computer help system of the spaceship said, "This man has a small stick that can solve all your problems ..." Then she suddenly realized, smiled and said to the man with saliva. . . . . Give me the USB flash drive! " .

17. A pothole was crossing the road, but he was accidentally crushed by a truck. When he was dying, he looked at his body and said, "I was stuffed with bean paste, not meat."

18. Brother, stop touching! You touched the top and touched the bottom, and you lost all your hair. So tender skin, you touched all the water! How do you want me to sell it later? These peaches are all fresh, so don't buy them!

19. Once upon a time, there was a lamb. One day he went out to play and met the wolf. The wolf said: I want to eat you! ! ! The lamb is frightened! Guess what happened? As a result, the wolf ate the lamb.

20. Once upon a time, there was a swordsman. He was cold, his heart was cold, his sword was cold, and he finally died of cold.

2 1. Once upon a time, there was a tiger chasing a deer on the road! The deer was frightened and ran faster and faster, and finally it became a highway.

22. There was a tomato that was smashed by a stone, another tomato smashed again, another tomato smashed, and countless tomatoes smashed, and the last tomato fell! Ketchup!

23. The soldier asked the company commander: What should I do if I step on a mine in battle? The company commander was greatly annoyed: depend, what can I do? Pay the price for stepping on it.

24. One day, three little pigs built three huts to avoid being chased by the wolf. The wolf easily destroyed the straw house, wooden house and brick house. The three little pigs ran desperately, but they were caught up by the wolf. The three little pigs said desperately, it's up to you. We gave up. Whatever. At this point, the wolf grinned and drooled and said, Then tell me where Little Red Riding Hood is.

25. The elephant put its shit in the middle of the road, and an ant happened to pass by. It looked up at the misty peak and couldn't help singing: Yalaso, this is the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau! ~~~~

26. Don't worry if you don't bring paper when you are beside the railway. The train will remind you: pants wipe, pants wipe, pants wipe! Don't worry when you go to the toilet by the river without paper, the frog will tell you: stick scraping, stick scraping, stick scraping!

27. Two counterfeiters accidentally made counterfeit banknotes with a face value of 15 yuan, and they decided to take them to a remote mountainous area to spend. When they bought a 15 yuan candied haws with a price of 1 yuan, they cried, and the farmers gave them two 7-piece ones.

28. Someone's newly-installed phone just happened to be rented out by the cinema, so people often call to ask about the movies being shown. At first, he always politely explained that this phone is no longer his, so please don't call again. After a long time, he also felt annoyed, so he simply said, "You have the wrong number!" This will also save some saliva. One day, a familiar voice came from the other side: "What movie is showing now?" As usual, he said, "You have the wrong number!" After a silence, the other party replied, "Is it a domestic film or a foreign film?

29. A man climbed the wall out of school and was caught by the headmaster. The headmaster asked: Why don't you go from the school gate? Answer: Metersbonwe Bang Wei, don't take the usual road. The headmaster asked again: how did such a high wall get over? He pointed to his trousers and said, Li Ning, anything is possible.

The headmaster asked again: What's it like to climb over the wall? He pointed to his shoes and said, Xtep, it feels like flying. The next day he entered the school from the main entrance, and the principal asked, Why don't you climb over the wall? He said: Anta, I choose, I like it. On the third day, he wore a gangster costume, and the principal said: You can't wear a gangster costume! He said: You are what you wear, Senma clothing. On the fourth day, he wore a vest to school, and the principal said that he could not wear a vest to school. He said, men, it is good to be simple, and they love fort clothes. The headmaster said I'd give you a bigger score. He said: Why? The headmaster said, M-Zone, my site is my decision.

Life is really boring. Last month, a buddy of mine borrowed 4000 yuan from me and said that he was going to have a plastic surgery. As a result, he has no idea what he has become. Oh, 4000 yuan.

3 1. Notice to robbers: Our staff only know Spanish. Please be patient when robbing, and it is best to bring an interpreter. Thank you!

32. Are you blind? You can't see such a big shield, but you have to throw stones at my head!

33. I think I should lose weight. Last time I donated blood, I actually shed 100 ml of lard.

34. Tourist: Master, is that straw house over there a toilet? Monk: Except that thatched house, all the other places are toilets.

35. Hair is gone, and dandruff is more outstanding!

36. defecation and urination are good brothers. One day, defecation crossed the road and was killed by a car. When urinating, he said, I really want to defecate …

37. I signed up for a weight-loss training class yesterday, and they asked me to wear loose clothes during training. How dare you? If there are still loose clothes, then why am I signing up?

38. My wife and I haven't spoken for 18 months, so I have no chance to interrupt her.

39. Thief A: Count how much money was robbed today? Thief B: No, just read the newspaper tomorrow.

40. Stand higher and pee farther.

4 1. Go your own way and let others take a taxi.

42. Wear other people's shoes, go your own way and let them find it.

43. One night, when a young woman passed a mental hospital, suddenly there was a "wow" behind her. The woman turned her head and saw a naked man running after her. The woman started to run in fear, and the man behind her gave chase. No, there is a dead end ahead. The woman is desperate, kneeling on the ground and crying and pleading, "Do whatever you want, just don't kill me." The man smiled cunningly and said, "Really? Then now you start chasing me. "

44. At a literary evening, the host came to the stage to announce: Please enjoy the following: Xinjiang song and dance, lift your skull! The whole audience was silent and creepy! ! ! Cold ~ ~ ~

45. If a tiger doesn't send a cat, you think I'm dying!

46. One person in our dormitory drinks too much to pee and then brings out a cold saying: If you drink too much, there will be a lot of wine.

47. When I went to Li Ning with my sister to buy shoes, my sister said, "Miss, how much are these shoes?"

48. In the past, others visited my aunt's house and just entered the door. It happened that my aunt had to go to the bathroom. She quickly greeted the guests and said, "Sit down, sit down, I'll go to the toilet and pour you some tea!" "

49. When I was in college, a classmate argued with me, and I was at a disadvantage for a while. In a hurry, I got up and shouted: You are talking nonsense, I am not stupid! I spit on your face with shit.

50. When I was a child, popsicles and ice creams were usually sold by pushing bicycles. Once, I heard an aunt shouting in the house: The new ice cream is hot. (It is estimated that Auntie used to sell fried dough sticks.)

5 1. My colleague argued with someone and opened his mouth in a hurry. "Do you think I grew up eating?" I've always wondered what he grew up eating. "

52. Once KTV ordered a song, one MM shouted: Give me a "double Jay" with a stick cut every week.

53. One day in the big forest, the fox was smoking marijuana. At this moment, the little rabbit came from a distance and saw all this. He came over and said, Fox, how can you smoke marijuana? It's bad for your health. Look, how fresh the air is. Come and run with me. The fox thought it was right, so he ran and ran with the rabbit. They saw the elephant smoking heroin. The rabbit ran over to the elephant and said, Elephant, elephant, why are you taking drugs? Look at how fresh the air is. Run with me. Elephants are right to want to come, just the two of them running together. Running and running, I saw the lion roll up his sleeves and was about to inject heroin. Little rabbit shouted at the lion from a distance: Lion, lion, drug abuse is not good for your health. Look at how fresh the air is. Run with me ... I saw the lion put down the syringe and rushed over and beat the little rabbit crazy. The elephant said to the lion trembling: Why did you hit the little rabbit? He didn't want us to hurt his health! The lion said: since the rabbit ate ecstasy, he has let me run with him every day!

54. In summer, a giraffe met a rabbit. She proudly showed off her neck to the rabbit: Ah, little rabbit, do you know how good it is to have a long neck? Do you know how fresh and sweet the leaves at the top are? Do you know the feeling of drinking water in summer? The refreshing water slowly passed through her neck. The rabbit looked at her and only said, "Have you tried to vomit? "

55. Once my brother hit me, and I got a pimple on my head. Later, my brother wanted to pack things, but he couldn't find the bag, so he took the bag on my head to hold things.

56. Once upon a time, a marshmallow went to play ball for a long time. He said, I'm so tired. I think I'm all soft.

57. Once upon a time, there were two snowmen. One snowman said, I'm cold, the other said, I'm cold, too. The other said, Let's hug each other, so they hugged each other. Guess what happened? Then they died of cold.

58. When I was a child, I ate dishonestly. In order to educate me, an old farmer said to me, "It's hard for 60 years. I have no food to eat, and I never throw out my nose excrement."

59. A rich man asked for a servant. The topic of the interview was to go to the toilet. The first few came out without washing their hands. So the rich man sent them away. Only one washed his hands, so the rich man left him. But one day, the rich man found that he came out without washing his hands. The rich man asked him why. The servant replied, "I brought toilet paper today ..."

60. A man saw a store had a big sale and went in. "What do you want?" "I want to buy dog food." "We have a rule that you must prove that you have a dog." "Where is such a rule?" "This is the case with goods on sale." The man had been grinding with the salesman for a long time, but the salesman still refused to sell it to him. There was no way, so the man had to go home and bring the dog before he bought the dog food. A few days later, the man went to this store to buy cat food. "Give me two boxes of cat food." "We have a rule that you must prove that you have a cat." It was the same shop assistant, and the man dawdled with her for a long time and finally had to go home and bring the cat to buy cat food. A few days later, the man came to the shop with a big cardboard box with a hole dug in it, and found the salesman, "What can I do for you?" "Just put your hand in and you'll know." The salesman put his hand in: "What is it? It's sticky." "I want to buy two rolls of toilet paper."

6 1. A man went to visit his grandmother with a friend. When he was talking to his grandmother, his friends began to eat the peanuts on the coffee table and ate them all. When they left, his friends said to his grandmother, "Thank you for the peanuts." Grandma responded, "Oh! Hmm! Alas! Since I lost all my teeth, I can only suck the chocolate out of them. Old, cough. . .

62. Some people like the dish "Spicy vermicelli pot" very much. Once, he went to a restaurant and ordered this dish again. But the waiter told him that the dish had been sold out. "Is it really sold out?" He asked disappointedly. "Sir, really sold out. You see, the last one was sold to the gentleman at that table. " The waiter replied. The man followed the waiter's instructions and saw a very decent gentleman sitting next to him. The gentleman's food has been eaten almost, but the "spicy vermicelli pot" is still full. The man thought that a gentleman wasted delicious food, so he went to the gentleman, pointed to the "spicy vermicelli pot" and asked politely, "Sir, do you want more?" The gentleman shook his head gracefully. So the man immediately sat down, picked up a spoon and wolfed it down. After a while, he swallowed half of it. Suddenly, he found a tiny mouse lying at the bottom of the casserole with all its fur. A burst of nausea, the man vomited all the fans he had eaten back into the casserole. When he was having a stomachache there, the gentleman looked at him sympathetically and said, "It's disgusting, isn't it? I was just like that ..."

63. On this day, the hotel owner was patrolling the lobby. A beggar came forward and said, "Can the boss give me a toothpick?" The boss gave him one and sent it away. After a while, another beggar also came to ask for a toothpick. The boss thought, why does the beggar want toothpicks instead of rice now? I also gave him one to send away, not too old, and another beggar came. The boss said to him, "Are you here for a toothpick, too?" The beggar said, "someone threw up, but I was late. The first two beggars had eaten everything they could, and now there is only soup left." Can you give me a straw?

64. Eldest brother and second child fly, and second child gets airsick and keeps vomiting. A bag was full, so the boss had to get it. When he came back, he found that the whole plane was vomiting. The boss asked the reason, and the second said, "I saw that this bag was full, so I had to drink half a bag, and they all vomited."

65. A priest was playing golf and a nun was watching. The first shot missed. The priest scolded, "TMD, missed!" " Hit again, the priest scolded again: "TMD, missed again!" " The nun said, "God will punish you for swearing as a priest." As soon as the voice fell, I heard a thunder chop the nun to death. The priest wondered: why am I the one who cursed? Why did I chop the nun to death? At this time, I only heard the voice of God from the sky: "TMD, I missed too!" "

66. The head coaches of the football teams of China, Japan and South Korea came to heaven together and asked God when their respective football teams would win the World Cup. God said: South Korea needs 50 years. The Korean coach burst into tears: I won't see it again. God also said: Japan needs 100 years. The Japanese coach burst into tears: I won't see it again. Coach China quickly asked: What about us? God burst into tears: I won't see it again.

67. Three white rabbits picked a mushroom.

The two big ones let the small ones get some wild vegetables to eat together.

The younger one said I wouldn't go. If I left, you would eat my mushrooms.

The two older ones said no, so they went ~ ~ ~

Half a year has passed, and the white rabbit hasn't come back yet. A big one said that it won't come back. Let's eat. The other big one said to wait ~ ~ ~ A year has passed and the little white rabbit hasn't come back yet. The two big ones don't have to wait for us to eat. Just then the little white rabbit suddenly jumped out of the nearby jungle and said angrily, look! I knew you were going to eat my mushrooms.

68. We say that a bear without a tail is called a koala, so what do we call a bear without a penis? The answer is the female bear, because the female bear has no penis.

69. In the music class, the teacher played a Beethoven tune.

Xiaoming asked Xiaohua, "Do you know music?"

Xiaohua: "Yes"

Xiaoming: "Do you know what the teacher is playing?"

Xiaohua: "Piano."

70. Once upon a time, a man fished and caught a squid.

Squid begged him: let me go, don't bake me to eat.

The man said, OK, then let me ask you some questions.

Squid is very happy to say: you take the exam!

Then the man roasted the squid.

7 1. Xiaoming lost a leg in a car accident.

Xiaoming lost another leg in a car accident.

Xiaoming lost his other leg in another car accident.

Xiaoming lost another leg in a car accident.

It screams and screams and screams in pain ~ ~ ~ ~ It's pathetic.

In fact, Xiao Ming is a dog

72. One day, a lump of black shit saw a lump of white shit.

Black stool asked: Why are you so white and beautiful?

White shit is very angry!

He said: I'm not a shit! I am ice cream! ! !

73. Once playing mahjong on a hot day, the power suddenly went out, so I had to buy candles to continue fighting. After half an hour, the heat was unbearable. One person said, "Let's turn on the electric fan, it's so hot." Another person said, "You can't open it, it will blow out the candles. Halo = = "

74. In college, one of my classmates just bought a mobile phone, got a mobile card, and called 1860 to ask about it. At that time, he was excited: "Excuse me, your's mobile phone service ..." From the hands-free phone, we actually heard the telephone operator politely say: "Our mobile phone service ..." The whole dormitory burst into laughter!

75. One day, the teacher took a group of children to the mountain to pick fruit.

He announced: "children, after picking the fruit, we will wash it together, and we can eat it together after washing."

All the children went to pick fruit.

As soon as the gathering time came, all the children gathered.

Teacher: "Xiaohua, what have you got?"

Xiaohua: "I am washing apples because I have picked apples."

Teacher: "What about you, Xiaomei?"

Xiaomei: "I'm washing tomatoes because I picked tomatoes."

Teacher: "The children are great! What about Amin? "

Amin: "I'm washing cloth shoes because I stepped on shit."

76. A mental patient screamed: I am the president, and you all have to listen to me!

The attending doctor asked him: Who said that?

Patient: God said.

Hearing this, a patient next to him suddenly jumped up: I never said that!

77. There is a family, and the whole family is very lazy. My father asked my mother to do housework, and my mother asked my elder sister to do it if she didn't want to, and her sister asked her to do it if she didn't want to, but her sister asked her puppy to do it if she didn't want to. One day, a guest came to the house and was surprised to find the puppy doing housework. Ask the dog: puppy, can you do housework? ! The dog said, I can't help it. If they don't do it, they ask me to do it. The guests are even more surprised, you can talk! ! ! Puppy: Shh! Keep your voice down, or they will know that I can talk and ask me to answer the phone ...! !

78. Lele went to the zoo one day to feed the monkeys ... and threw peanuts to the monkeys ... but one monkey always stuffed peanuts into his ass ... and then took them out ... Lele felt sick and ran to the director ... why did the monkey behave in such a strange way? ... The director explained: Because a man threw him a big peach last year ... as a result, the seeds of that big peach could not be discharged smoothly from his ass ...

79. Devil: "Princess, no one will come to save you if you scream your throat!" "

Princess: "broken throat!" "

No one: "Princess! I'm coming to save you! "

Devil: "Damn it .."

Ghost: "Who found me?"

Who: "What's it to me?"

The devil is dead! !

80. Once upon a time, there was a white cat and a black cat. One day, the white cat fell into the water and the black cat saved it. The white cat said a word to the black cat.

Excuse me ... what is this sentence? A: Meow. ......

8 1. The little white rabbit skipped to the bakery and asked, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

Boss: "Oh, I'm sorry, not that much."

"Well. . 。” The little white rabbit left dejectedly.

The next day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

Boss: "Sorry, there is still no"

"Well. . 。” The little white rabbit left dejectedly again.

On the third day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

The boss said happily, "Yes, yes, we have a hundred buns today! ！”

The little white rabbit took out the money: "Great, I'll buy two!" "

82. Fire Brigade: Where is the fire?

Alarm person: My home.

Fire brigade: I mean where is it?

Policeman: In the kitchen.

Fire brigade: I mean, how do we get there?

Policeman: Don't you have a fire truck? !

83. The coffee cup and the water cup crossed the road together. At this time, an old man shouted, "Be careful, it's a red light." But after a while, the coffee cup crossed the road smoothly, but the water cup was hit by a truck and flowed into the note. Why? Because coffee cups have "ears" and water cups don't.

84. Two tomatoes went shopping. The first tomato suddenly walked very fast, and the second tomato asked, "Where are we going?" The first tomato didn't answer, and the second tomato asked again. The first tomato didn't answer, so the second tomato asked again. The first tomato finally turned slowly and said, aren't we tomatoes? Can we talk?

85. Xiao Ming and his classmates played with each other and guessed "Andy Lau".

Xiao Ming shouted loudly, "It's one of the four heavenly kings!"

The classmate said confidently without hesitation: I know it is "the Monkey King!"

86. The little penguin asked his grandmother one day, "Grandma, am I a penguin?" "Yes, of course you are a penguin." The little penguin asks his father again, "Dad, Dad, am I a penguin?" "Yes, you are a penguin. What's the matter?" "But, but why do I feel so cold?"

87. Three college students were kidnapped. The bad guy tied him to a telephone pole and asked him, Say, where are you from? I'll electrocute you if you don't tell me! College student A: I'm from Jiaotong University. College student B: I'm from Peking University. College student C: I'm from TV University (Electric Power University)! The result was electrocuted ... cold ~ ~ ~

88. Once upon a time, a horse entered a bar, sat down at the bar and asked the bartender for a glass of wine. The bartender said, Your face is so long ...

89. The prisoner was executed by firing squad. Because of the poor quality of the bullets, the first shot didn't go off, and then the second shot was fired. . . The third shot. . . At this time, the prisoner cried and hugged the bailiff's thigh and said, Brother, strangle me! It's so fucking scary .....

90. Three people compete in marksmanship together, with a black man holding something as the target.

The first man put an apple on the black man's head, and then at a distance of 10 meters, he raised his hand and shot it and broke it. He blew the muzzle and said, I'm Zorro!

The second man put a cherry on the black man's head, and then at a distance of 50 meters, he raised his hand and shot it and broke it. He blew the muzzle and said, I'm I'm007.

The third man put a sesame seed on the black man's head, and then at a distance of 100 meters, he raised his hand and smashed the black man's head. He also blew the muzzle and said, I'm sorry.

9 1. Xiao Wang works in the personnel department on the 10 floor. One month ago, he was transferred to the administrative department on the 9th floor ... Today, Xiao Wang called the personnel department to find him: "Is Xiao Wang there?"

The colleague who answered the phone said, "Xiao Wang is no longer in the personnel."

Xiao Wang: "Ah! ? When did this happen? I didn't know it. I haven't had time to send it to him yet? "

"It doesn't matter, you can look for him below."

92. My wife spent a lot of money on plastic surgery and turned into a beautiful woman to go home in a few days! When he entered the door, he said to his puzzled husband, "What's the matter? Don't know me? " The husband paused, then said with surprise, "Come in quickly, my wife is not at home."

93. A woman was walking at night when she suddenly saw a man coming towards her with open arms, making a hug. He stepped forward with a foot. The man fell to the ground and cried, saying, It's the third piece. Who did I provoke? Is it so difficult to bring a piece of glass home?

94. I was chatting with a group of female colleagues this afternoon. Suddenly, someone said I was not a man, and I was angry. I said, you said I was not, so I took it out for you to see. The girls all laughed. One of them was the best, saying, if you take it out, I will take out my ID card.

95. A little boy went to the country to spend his holiday with his relatives. His relatives live in a farm, and the children enjoy themselves and see many things that they have never seen in the park. When he got home, he told his mother everything. He said that what impressed him was a sow with a piglet.

What do sows do? The child said, "The piglets chased the sow and then they turned it over and began to tear the buttons on its stomach."

96. Mom: "Son, son! Come on! ‘It is too easy！’ What is it? "

Son: "'this is too simple'."

Mom: "Why not say it simply?"

Son: "Ah, it's' too simple'!"

Mom: "You don't think I will hit you, do you?"

When he finished speaking, he taught his son a lesson.

Then, my mother asked again:

"What do you mean by the word' what'?"

Son: "What?"

Mom: "What do you mean when I say' What'?"

Son: "What!"